BlackSirens here, with a completely new fanfiction. Kurt x Ram from the musical/movie Heathers. I love these characters so I hope you enjoy a whole bunch!
DISclaimer- I do not own Heathers, or the characters Kurt, Ram, Martha, Heather C., D., or M. I also don't own Veronica or Mrs. Flemming. Okie dokie.
Go Watch It- You can download the music on iTunes from the musical. I am so addicted, lol. Or you can watch the movie. Seriously, they both rock. Such an interesting story! :) Enjoy! (And this is a 1 chapter story. So no more after this.)
Ram
Dude, ELA sucks. So does math, science, S.S., and chemistry… oh and so does math. Wait I said math already. Well whatever it still sucks. I am sitting in ELA now, paying no attention what so ever. Not like I'll use verbs in my life ever again. Completely useless.
I can't tell what Mrs. Platt just said, but by the looks of it everyone is laughing. I put focus mode back on as I look at everyone. "What's so funny?" I say. Everyone laughs more. What the s*** dude? "I said-"
"And I said, 'Ram? Can you please join in on listening to this lecture?'" Mrs. Platt says. Oh, man this sucks. Everyone was laughing at me for not paying attention. Can they blame me? Every single class can put me to sleep in a heartbeat.
Kurt
I've always said to Ram Sweeney, "Wouldn't it be cool to be in the middle of a Heather Duke and Heather Chanler sandwich?" but that doesn't get me turned on. I don't know why, but it should. I made that joke up after all. He seems to get a kick out of it. No effect on me. I am walking in the halls, skipping class, when I see Martha Dumptruck walking to the bathroom. Damn, her fat jiggles so much when she walks. She disgusts me.
We all know the rumors about Ram kissing Martha on the kickball field in kindergarten. Every time that comes up, I just want to punch her in that fat gut. She doesn't deserve a guy like Ram…
Ram
I'm just so glad that bell rang so I could run out of that class. I swear I'm going to knuckle pizza every kid that laughed at me. Mrs. Platt can go to hell man. Her and her… her face! Haha! Good joke Ram. I'm so smart. I then remember it's lunch. Finally I get to see my buddy Kurt. My quarterback! He's freakin, like, the best. "Wooh!" I shout as I run to the lunch line, getting right in the front. A couple of smart a**es complain, so I turn around. "You little turds have a problem?" I say down to a bunch of kids wearing glasses. Nerds, bleh! Them and their pimple faces.
I sure shut them up. Good. Now I can wait for- "KURT!" I scream as I see him in the back of the lunch line. He runs up immediately next to me. "Dude!" He says. "Punch it in!" I yell as our fists meet. When his hands comes off mine, I get a little upset. Hmm… I wonder why. We smile and grab our food, sitting next to the other football players and popular girls. Also, Heather Chandler, Heather Duke, and Heather McNamara. The hottest girls in school. I try to think of a dirty fantasy of them with me, and succeed, but I don't feel happy. I then decide to add Kurt into it. You know, the Heathers with two guys. Suddenly my fantasy becomes more interesting.
Kurt
I don't know what the hell is wrong with Ram, but he looks like a nerd went up his butt. He's staring into space like a lunatic. It's kind of cute- what the hell!? Why in the world would I think that? Heather Chandler is cute! … sorta. I decide to shut my thoughts up and just eat until Bill Farley catches my attention. "Hey man, excited to play QB at the game?" I smile and nod with a grin. "Ready as I'll ever be man!" Then, Ram seems to be done with his thoughts and he turns to me. He says, "Yeah dude, you'll be amazing. As always." He complimented me. I feel my cheeks swell with a red pride.
Ram
Kurt's blushing. Weird. Nothing to become red to around here. Maybe something is wrong? Whatever. Talking about feeling is gay. So I just say, "Punch it in!" And we fist bump. Cool. I then look at the clock, and struggle for about five minutes trying to understand what the hell the time is. I read, "11:40." Man, lunch ends in five minutes. That blows. I don't have any classes with Kurt after lunch. I wish I did. But why do I wish I did? Probably because we are friends.
Kurt
I hear the bell ring and I have to say goodbye to Ram. We wave and go our separate ways. I like when he smiles at me. He can make me smile faster than you can say the word smile. I keep walking, thinking and full of thought, when I bump into some girl. We both fall right on our a**es. Perfect. I look at her, and I know her. Not well because she dressed like a bag lady. Veronica Sauce. That's her name. What kind of last name is Sauce? "Oh, Kurt." She says with a glare while standing up, and I stand up to. I always forget the fact that she has hated me since grade three. "Well, nice to see you Veronica Sauce." She gives a strange look, like I just made fun of her. Did I make fun of her? No, I don't remember. Hell, I wouldn't remember my hair if it weren't attached to my head. I think I just roasted myself. Haha… "It's Veronica Sawyer idiot." She says. Ohh, no wonder she was offended.
Sauce would still be a funny last name though. I glare a bit at her for calling me idiot. I grab her by her collar and say, "What did you say to me b****?" She seems a bit scared, and holds up her hands in defence. "Ah, nothing!" She says. I decide to let her go. I can't hit a girl. Although as long as she thinks I would, then I'm cool. I drop her as she runs to her class. Wherever that it. Maybe I should skip class this period. Leave it to Kurt Kelly to make it a duty to skip class. Hehe… duty.
Ram
I decide to skip the period after lunch because come on! Who puts a period after your one break from jail- I mean, school. Lunch should just be last period. Aw man, then we'd all starve. Well whatever.
I hear a familiar voice. Mrs. Flemming! Oh crap, she just loves giving detentions. I gotta get out of here. I look around and see a boys bathroom near. I run for it. As I slam open the door, I hit Kurt right in the face.
Kurt
There I was, about to get out of the bathroom when all of a sudden, some dipsh** crashed the door into me as I fall back. What is with me and crashing into people… or doors… and falling? Am I a falling magnet? I get up with a glare, about to call this person a variety of names, until I see it's Ram. I automatically feel bad that I was about to yell at him. I would never yell at him! That's… well I don't know what it is. We look into each other's eyes a bit until he shuts the door. "Oh uh, Kurt?" He says. I nod, then respond. "Hey." Another silence and stare. I feel my cheeks getting hot as I stare into those deep brown eyes of his. They remind me of a caramel color. So- WHAT THE HELL!? I am just think about how my best friend who is a BOY, looks HOT!
I know I'm blushing. Oh how embarrassing. I wonder if he thinks I'm blushing at him! Oh no. Wait. He's blushing too. That's so odd.
Ram
The awkwardness in ELA class can not compare to the feeling that I am experiencing now. I just hit Kurt in the face, knocked him down, and now we are alone in a bathroom staring at each other like we've seen a naked model. Maybe he could be one. AH! Oh gosh no! That's dirty. Being into guys is dirty. So why am I so turned on by that thought?
Kurt
Man, I'm so stuck. It feels like we have been staring into each other's eyes for three trillion years, and I can't stop blushing about it. I finally decide to break the silence. "Ram? Why are you staring at me?" That is such a stupid thing to say, because I am also staring at him. "HEY! Dude you're staring at me too!" Oh gosh, he is right. We both stand awkwardly, not really sure what to do. What do you do in this situation? Any straight guy would just think about a hot girl and- ….. I'm not straight…..
Ram
Why would Kurt accuse me of staring at him!? He's also doing it! Whatever, I can't stand this anymore. I have to get out of here before my face becomes more red. I open the door, as awkward as possible, then sprint away. I keep running till I hear the bell. So last period. I wonder what Kurt is thinking right about now. I laugh a bit to myself thinking about the look he must of had on his face when I ran out of there.
I know we will probably see each other on the bus. S*** that's going to be so uncomfortable. Although I kind of want to see him again. As embarrassing as the bathroom incident was, if felt nice. Wow, that is a weird sentence. It's kind of like saying two kids went at it in the bathroom, and it felt nice. Damn that would be so hot. I then start thinking about Kurt.
Kurt
Last period has finally ended but I can't get Ram out of my head. He just ran out of the bathroom. Like, wtf? Dude, can you get any more weird? We stared at each other for about five minutes then he just ran out of there after a few sentences. Maybe he caught on that I'm gay. I wonder if he sees anything it me. You know, got excited? Nah, if he thought I was gay, (which I most likely am now that I've realized that possibility), he would never talk to me again… AH! Ram would never talk to me again!
I feel sweat coming from every single pore on my body as I am walking to the bus. I know what I can do. I can talk to him on the bus! Maybe set things straight, but I'm not straight! Jesus Kurt, don't be so dumb. That's two different thoughts your mixing together. It's like captain idiot and Sir dumbo had a baby. That baby is me.
Ram
I step onto the bus and eye Kurt who is sitting alone. Probably waiting for me as usual. We alway sit together and talk. One of my favorite parts of the day besides lunch. We get to talk. I want to be able to hopefully put what happened in the bathroom behind us. I will never bring that up again. The awkwardness level was 100% and then some. I sit next to him, and hopefully he won't bring up what happened either. He smiles at me a bit, then I do as well. Okay good… so he isn't weirded out by what happe- "So Ram, about the bathroom thing…" S***! Why does he have to bring that up! Why, why, why? I don't want to talk about this!
Kurt
Ram looks like he just got shot in his area. He pretty much looks horrified. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea to talk about this subject. But I really want to tell him how I feel. Come on, get real Kurt! He would never feel the same way about a dumb person such as myself. The bus stops, but then… Ram grabs my hand. What the hell? I feel his warmth in my hand, blushing at him. He pulls me out of the bus and it drives away. "But, this isn't my stop Ram." I say, so confused. Why would he pull me out here? Why is he still holding my hand. God, I have a headache. He then starts to speak, "God Kurt I'm confused." he says. You're telling me?
"I know what happened in the bathroom was weird. Hell, I have no idea why I did that." I know… because I'm in love with this linebacker. I can't believe I'm a quir. I hate myself so much now, my god. I feel so awkward.
I start to tear up, and that is the final cherry on the top for most humiliating day of my life. Crying in front of the GUY I'm in love with. I suck, man. I wish I had the balls to tell Ram Sweeney I like him but I don't. I guess that's why I'm crying now. "Kurt, why are you crying?" He comforts me, putting his hand on my shoulder. I stare into his caramel eyes. I wish he would like me ba-
Ram
I grab onto Kurt's sweater, and I start to kiss him hard on the lips, with passion.
Kurt
OH MY FREAKING GOD RAM IS KISSING ME RAM IS KISSING ME EEEEEEEEEE! *Fanboy squeal*
Ram
Before this, I always thought love was dirty, and not something to cherish. But I really do love Kurt. I can't believe it. I love everything about him. His dumbfounded look when I call him smart. His smile is so contagious it burns. His deep care for the ones close to him. His sweet heart that tries to show through all his jock attitude. His green eyes sparkle when he laughs his head off. His belief in me. I love him. I'm still kissing him, hard, and I never want this to end.
Kurt
I break the kiss with an, "I love you." Because I do. I love Ram Sweeney. He's my hot linebacker, and I'm his quarterback. That sounds gay because it SO is! "Ram?" I look slightly up at him with a smile. "Let's go to your house for some chips and maybe a movie?" He seems to like the idea because we are walking down to his house right now. Holding hands the entire way.
Ram
I didn't really know I was gay until I kissed him. Then it was all clear. I love Kurt Kelly…
THE END!