Title: A Cry Amongst Silence
Pairing: T.K/Kari
Notes: Here is the next chapter. It is embarrassing how many years it has been since I posted to this story. I know it has been a while, and I truthfully can't give a timeline for when the next chapter will be up. Thank you to all who read and enjoy the story. As usual, feel free to PM me or check my profile page on story updates.
Matt had just finished setting everything up before Ken and Sora arrived at the apartment he and his dad shared. Since Ken lived farther away from everyone, the meeting time was set a few hours before dinner to give the younger digidestined a chance to get to Matt's and get home in time. While waiting for the two to arrive, Matt had been busy flipping through specific passages in his journal and marking those he deemed as important. Though his time in the cave was brief, there were still many entries that were important because of all of the insecurities and dark feelings he harbored in his heart. Looking back on everything he felt, he couldn't help but be extremely grateful that he was a different person now. What he felt back then went so much deeper than what he told the others. Things truly were out of control in his life at that time.
His thoughts were broken with a knock on the door, and he stood from his place at the table to answer it. He was met with Sora and Ken, both still in their respective uniforms and each holding a backpack.
"Hey guys." Matt greeted while Sora and Ken took their shoes off.
"Hey Matt. Sorry we're a little late getting here." Sora said while she and Ken walked over to sit at the table.
"Don't worry about it. No big deal." Matt walked back to his original seat at the table. Once all three were settled, the room went silent. Matt understood, of course. They were about to deal with really personal issues. All three of them were very well-acquainted with the forces of darkness, and they had dealt with it. But now that old wounds were about to be re-opened, especially wounds that were a little fresher than others, it was hard.
Fortunately, Sora broke the silence. "Well, let's not all talk at once."
Matt and Ken smiled and chuckled at the comment. That seemed to be all that was needed for the floodgates to open.
"Does anyone want to start?" Sora asked, clutching her notebook to her chest. It was clear that she did not want to be the one to start.
"I'll go first." Matt reached for his notebook on the table and opened it to one of the first passages. "Ken, I'm pretty sure you don't know our back-stories in much detail, so I'll explain some things before I start with this."
Ken nodded, relieved that he was getting the much needed information. Yes, he'd heard their epic stories from the first time the original digidestined were transported to the digital world. But for this conversation, he felt he needed them to explain their feelings in as much detail as they needed. He knew he had a lot of problems and insecurities within himself, which is why he was so vulnerable and became the digimon emperor. Hearing how Matt and Sora felt during the low points in their lives would help them not only bond and help one another, but get that much closer to figuring out what the darkness looks for, what it feeds off of, and what Kari has within her that is making her a main target aside from her crest.
Ken, whose eyes had been on his lap had lifted them to meet Matt's in silent assurance that he was ok. Matt nodded and glanced at Sora once more before he started.
"See, before we were transported to the digital world, there was a lot going on with me and my family. My parents had split up a few years before, so therefore T.K and I were split up in the process. Since that happened, I felt empty, like part of me was missing. I mean, yeah I still had my family, but nothing was the same. My mom and I really didn't talk like we used to, and it got to the point where I felt uncomfortable when we did have to talk. My dad and I got a lot closer, which was probably one of the only good things that came out of the divorce. And then there was T.K. I was watching my baby brother grow up before my eyes. He was changing so fast, and it scared me. I couldn't be with him all the time, so he was learning to do things without me with him every single step of the way."
Matt stood, feeling that he could not sit still any longer and began walking around the table. It was just a nervous habit of his. He was telling them things he hadn't spoken of since they happened all those years ago. It was chilling to think of all of the negativity he harbored.
"When we went to camp the summer we were transported to the digital world, I was happy that T.K. and I got to spend time together without our parents. Sure, I got to see T.K. whenever I wanted, but I felt like I couldn't be like I was when our parents were still together. It felt awkward being myself when my mom was in the same room, so I kind of closed up around T.K. So camp was going to be great.
"Throughout most of our time in the digital world, I did my best to be the best big brother possible for T.K. I protected him as much as I could, and spent a lot of time with him despite all of the danger around us. But, I was also keeping my guard up for the other digidestined. I didn't trust them or really even like all of them at first, and I didn't want them knowing a lot about me, so I kept them at arm's length. That's kind of a difficult system to maintain when you want to share your heart with one and protect it from many at the same time."
Ken and Sora nodded at the last comment. They all knew too well what it was like to keep things bottled up inside. That was what they all had in common.
"Through our many battles, I saw T.K. mature more and develop a friendship with Tai. That was what caused me to shut down completely, even from Gabumon."
Matt stopped his pacing and sat back down, once again flipping through the pages of his book.
"So, that's my back-story." Matt reached over to grab another notebook and a pen. He drew 4 columns and rows and labeled the first three "Matt" "Sora" "Ken" and the last section was labeled "All".
Matt looked back up to Sora and Ken. "We can use this to document all of our information and then compile any similarities that we all have."
Ken nodded. "That's a good idea. We can also add a row of differences, too. I feel like those are probably just as important. It would be good to try to answer the question of why our paths to darkness were different and whether those different paths were due to any specific thing."
"Right, Ken." Sora agreed and she put her own notebook on the table. "Now that Matt has told you about him, I think I should tell you about myself and then you can tell us about you. That way we all don't have to explain so much when we're trying to think about everything."
Matt and Ken nodded and all of their attention focused on Sora.
"My story doesn't start until after we all got transported to the digital world for the first time. I've always been a worrier and extremely concerned about everyone around me, so being in all of those dangerous situations had me on edge most of the time. I always did my best to be dependable and be the person everyone could lean on. Like Matt, I guarded myself from the others. I wasn't guarding my heart, but I was guarding my insecurities. I felt like I would be considered weak if people knew that I was scared to death of anyone getting hurt. And I especially didn't want them to know how much of a pessimist I was on the inside. There were quite a few battles where I honestly didn't think we would pull through, and I always mentally braced myself for an untimely end."
Ken looked at Sora with complete understanding. Once he joined up with the other digidestined, it seemed the only thoughts he ever had were pessimistic. Sora's eyes met his and it was clear that she knew they had the same thought processes.
"What led to my time in the cave was when Tai sent me and T.K. to find Matt and Joe during the final battle with Piedmon. Tai refused to let anyone else fight until they were all together, so WarGreymon was by himself and barely holding up. I was so afraid; Tai was already so tired when I left and we had absolutely no idea where Matt and Joe were. T.K. and I were riding on Birdramon and all I could think was how much I wanted to just be away from there. I wished I was home, I wished everyone was safe, I wished Matt and Joe would appear out of thin air…
"I tried to have courage, and that was really only for T.K.'s sake. He was frightened too, but he wasn't backing down and being negative like I was. He was clearly stronger. So I put on the bravest face I could for him and continued looking until we saw Matt's boat on the shore. It was right after that when I fell in the cave."
Ken looked from Sora to Matt as she told her story and a sudden sense of calm washed over him. He saw himself in both Sora and Matt. From what Matt said, he was an outsider just like Ken. And Sora admitted to having negative thoughts while trying to hide them with a smile, while Ken had negative thoughts and tried to hide them behind academics. Hearing them speak so openly to him gave him courage that he didn't have when he walked in.
"Thank you both. I had no idea that you two felt things like that. You seem so strong." Ken couldn't help but make that known to them.
"We're strong now because of our experiences." Matt replied.
Sora put her hand on Ken's shoulder. "And so are you, Ken. The reason Tai wanted all three of us to work on this is because he knows how strong we are. He believes in all of us; he would have never trusted us with this if he didn't."
"Yeah, you're right." Ken sighed. "I guess it's my turn now. This is a little hard for me. Even though it's been a while, these memories are still at the forefront of my mind."
"Take your time. We're here for you."
With the encouragement from Matt, Ken dived right into his memories.
"Like Matt, my feelings of darkness surfaced when I was a little kid. I had a brother named Sam, I think I told you all before. He was my idol; he was smart, funny, and taught me all kinds of things. And, of course, my parents couldn't get enough of him. He was literally the glue that held all of us together, I think. Before he died, we were playing in his room and a digivice came out of the computer. We both thought it was Sam's and so he kept it from me. I was drawn to it though, so I waited until he left the room before taking it and being transported into the digital world. I didn't remember what happened that first time until later, but I'd met wormmon. When I came back, Sam caught me with the digivice and he was furious. Then he hurt me by telling me that I betrayed his trust. So after that, there were times where I wished he would disappear. I didn't care where, but I wanted it to be far away from me. And then one day, he did. He was hit by a car. And then our family slowly drifted apart. My parents weren't nearly as happy, and neither was I.
"I tried to fill Sam's place by becoming a genius just like he was. That kind of made my parents happy, but even me doing something to make them proud wasn't going mask the pain the death of a child leaves behind. A part of me knew that, but I still wanted to believe I could try. A year or two later I found an email on Sam's computer addressed to me telling me that the digivice was mine and that there was a world out there where I didn't have to deal with the things I was dealing with. And so I went to the digital world and became the digimon emperor. And you all know the rest."
There was another bout of silence while everyone processed all of the information they had been given. If any three people knew anything about the dark forces taking advantage of them, it was definitely those three. It amazed them that the crests of friendship, love and kindness were the three that were most affected. Thinking about it, it no longer surprised them that Kari, the carrier of the crest of light, would also be like them.
"I'm glad we talked about this." Matt stated as the look of sympathy on his face turned to that of determination. "Just by telling each other these things, we're already helping Kari. If she's going through the same internal battles that we all were when the darkness targeted us, then we know what's in her mind. That will definitely give us clues when we go through our own checklist of things that we have in common."
"Matt's right. Though our experiences may have differed, we all had the same thoughts. We should also work on isolating the most common thoughts. Maybe there is a trend that the darkness goes after." Sora commented while picking up her journal and flipping through the pages.
"I agree with you both." Ken nodded and looked to Matt for further instruction.
"Ok, great start. Now all we have to do is write down everything we went through when overtaken by the darkness and then go through our journals and see all of the underlying trends of negative thoughts that triggered it."
"Alright." Sora stood and Matt handed her the notebook with the table of columns and rows he drew. "So, let's start with the first thought everyone had right before the darkness came."
Davis breathed hard as he leaned against his bedroom door. With the way his coach worked the JV team during practice, you'd think they were the ones playing in the game Saturday. Despite being dead tired and in desperate need of a shower, there was no time to waste. He, Cody and Mimi were scheduled to meet in less than 15 minutes through video connection to talk about what they all found out and what needed to be done when they all met up tomorrow morning. After grabbing a snack from the kitchen and telling his mother he may be a little late for dinner, he closed his bedroom door and sat in front of the computer just in time to see Mimi and Cody's faces pop up on the screen.
"Hi everyone!" Mimi greeted. She paused at the screen and raised an eyebrow, her expression contorted in frown. "Wow Davis, you look awful. Have you been in the sun too long?"
Davis gaped and saw Cody's face get closer to his screen as well. "He does look like he's had a rough day."
"Thanks, guys!" He yelled, sarcasm lacing his words. Cody and Mimi had the decency to look sheepish. "I just got out of practice and didn't have time to change."
"Well, I would have made time, but nothing we can do about that now." Mimi commented nonchalantly, earning another frown from Davis and a snicker from Cody.
"Anyway," Davis cut in. "We're here to talk about what we found when we went to the digiworld this morning." Davis felt Demiveemon's weight on his shoulder and gave the little digimon a smile.
"Right. So Palmon and I talked to some woodmon and mushroomon near the lake. Oh, and some gekomon showed up, too." She put a finger to her chin in thought. "They didn't know much, but they did say that we should go deeper into the forest and track down Cherrymon and ask him."
"What's a Cherrymon?" Cody asked, and Mimi made a face.
"Well, from what I remember, he was not the nicest digimon in the world. Not only was he terribly rude, but he was one of the digimon we had to fight off in our world when they were attacking."
"What do you think he knows that they don't?" Davis wondered.
Mimi shrugged. "From what they said, he is a very old digimon that is very intelligent and knows a lot about things other digimon don't. They said if there was another dimension with digimon or a 'Dark Ocean' in the digiworld, he would know something about it."
"Well, that's good to hear. Submarimon and I didn't have much luck underwater, either. The digimon we saw didn't know much, but we were told to go see Whamon and the dolphmon at the ocean. They said Whamon is a large and powerful digimon and knows the water better than anything."
Mimi's ears perked up at the sound of the familiar digimon. "Ah, Whamon! I remember him. He helped us get to File island when we were first taken to the digiworld. If any digimon can help us, I know he can."
"That's great!" Davis exclaimed. "That gives us a lot to go on."
"What about you, Davis? Who did you and Veemon find?" Cody asked.
"We talked to the otamamon." Demiveemon chimed in. "And they said that they never heard of a dark ocean, but that the divermon would be the best digimon to go see."
"Oh wow. I'm glad we were able to get so much information." Mimi smiled. "I think the next time we go, we should all visit these digimon together. One of them is bound to know something."
"Definitely! And then we can tell Tai the good news." Davis exclaimed while punching a fist in the air.
Even Cody seemed to brighten up. Inwardly, he hadn't been sure they would find anything, but three different sources gave him hope that they would be able to find something to help Kari.
"If we're all going together, this is probably going to be a longer trip to the digiworld next time around." Cody mentioned, and Mimi nodded. Her head lowered on the screen as she rummaged through her desk drawer before emerging with her day planner.
"I'm thinking probably an hour for each spot." She said, skimming the open notebook in her hand. "If we are going by your time, that would mean I would have to be up super early tomorrow." She sighed. "Well, if I fall asleep during the meeting, tell Tai it isn't my fault."
Davis smiled. "Will do! And then you'll be the one looking like you've been in the sun too long."
Mimi gasped and stuck her tongue out at Davis. "Well, rest assured that I will at least be in a fresh change of clothes when I make it to Tai's."
Cody shook his head at the two of them before they all said their goodbyes and logged off.