Chapter 2: What's Wrong

Flashback

The fight was intense and the titans were all nearing the point of exhaustion. Cyborg laid on the ground in pieces and Beast Boy was desperately trying to put him back together. With those two out of the way Slade had moved on to Robin and Starfire. He had just dodged a kick from Robin and sent him hurdling back as he gave Starfire a punch that sent her stumbling to the ground. She landed with a hard thud and Robin ran to her side. Raven had just finished disarming the remaining sladebots when she heard Robins voice call out to her. She looked up to see Slade's form heading into the forest.

"Raven, quick… fly ahead and track Slade,"

She nodded and flew up ahead. She stopped where she was barel above the treetops and looked around. Fog was beginning to set in and it was too hard to see. Slade was smart, he would stay out of sight. It was getting dark and a storm was fast approaching. The wind began to pick up and Raven decided it'd be better for her to walk instead of fly. She landed on the ground in the middle of the forest.

She opened her senses trying to pinpoint Slade's location. The clouds began to rumble overhead and she felt the first few drops of the rain. She walked slowly and gracefully listening intently all around her. Something felt wrong. Slade was never one for hiding when the job hadn't been finished yet.

She heard soft footsteps behind her and whipped around, but there was no one there. The raindrops started to pick up and before long her hair was heavily coated and stuck to the back of her neck. She eased her hood up with her powers as she slowly began to levitate off the ground. A soft chuckle made her lose her concentration and she fell back down.

'Calm down, it's just your imagination,' she thought as she steadied herself.

Slade was nowhere to be seen and she decided to head back to the others. They could track him down once they regrouped. As she turned to leave the forest she stopped when she saw his face. His mask stood perfectly in place, but it was the way he walked which gave away his intentions. Whether it was her powers or just a gut feeling, Raven knew she was in real danger. Fear coiled deep within the pit of her stomach and she swallowed hard trying to keep her composure.

"Raven," he whispered huskily.

Her limbs felt heavy as she went to back away, but stumbled over a tree root and fell. She felt the mud of the newly wet earth coat her bare legs and she hugged her cloak tighter. She looked up as the man walked menacingly closer.

"Don't try to fight me Raven, you'll only make this worse."

End Flashback

"Raven, Raven can you hear me?" came the sound of a familiar and friendly voice.

Her head felt heavy and her eyelids refused to open at first. The harsh smell of antiseptic assaulted her nose as it lingered in the sterile air. Her mind was fuzzy with thoughts of what had lead her to where she was now. She cracked one eye open and was met with the faces of four titans staring intently at her. She blinked a few times trying to adjust her eyes to the bright fluorescent lights of the medical wing. Someone placed a comforting hand on hers and it took all her focus not to withdraw harshly. She was safe here among her friends, no one could hurt her here.

"Robin?" she asked weakly trying to reply to the correct voice which had originally called out to her.

"Hey, how do you feel?" He asked in a gentle soothing tone which slowly put her at ease.

"Tired," she replied, "Why am I here? What happened?"

"I was actually wondering the same thing," he answered, "Beast Boy found you passed out on your bedroom floor with your candles burning," he finished his voice edged with concern.

"The last thing I remember is..." she stopped unable to honestly answer that question. The last coherent thought she had was of Slade, "the last thing I remember was Beast Boy coming to my door. After that... nothing." She lied.

Cyborg walked into her line of vision as he looked at his arm console, "from the tests I ran it looks like you're dehydrated and you haven't eaten in a few days. Is everything okay Raven?"

Raven looked down at her body. She was still in her leotard and cloak and a thin scratchy hospital blanket was covering her up to her waist. She had a few wires coming off her chest which linked up to a steady beating monitor. On her left arm she had another wire which contained a saline drip.

"I was deep in meditation. I was trying out a new technique. I guess I wasn't paying attention to anything else," she lied, "I'm sorry I worried you all," she added on sincerely.

The last thing she needed was for the titans to start questioning her and prying deeper into what had happened. The past would remain a secret and this would all blow over soon enough. She just needed to convince herself before she could convince them.

She sat up slowly and tried to focus her vision. Starfire was sulking in the corner and she smiled weakly at the Tamaranian who offered a small, hesitant smile in return. She turned her attention to Beast Boy who stood in the door frame. His boot was idly scuffing the floor and he refused to meet her gaze. She was about to speak when Cyborg spoke up first.

"If it's all right with you Raven, I'd like it if you could stay here overnight. Nothing's seriously wrong, but after your blackout I think we'd all feel better if you were here where your vitals can be monitored."

She nodded solemnly. Being in the medical wing where there were cameras put her at ease. It wasn't her room, but it was safe and that's what she needed.

"Call us if you need anything, okay?" Robin said as he made his way out and the other titans followed after him.

Raven eased back into the mattress, it wasn't her bed, but it would make due. A sense of security and peace flooded through her veins and she smiled as her eyes drifted close. She was finally at ease when she heard footsteps. Her body jerked upright ready to face the monster that put her in this horrifying state, but she was not expecting to see him.

Her body relaxed a little, but there was no denying the cold, dead stare in his eyes. He didn't know what, but he knew something was wrong.

"What is it?" Raven asked calmly.

His demeanor broke instantly as he slowly spoke.

"Please, tell me what's wrong?" He pleaded.

"Beast Boy I already told you I'm fine," she said trying to reassure the both of them.

"You're lying," he said as he started to leave the room, when he got to the door he looked over his shoulder, "I'll listen when you're ready. You just say when."

The disappointment in his eyes broke her in more ways than she cared to admit and she felt something like hope fill her heart. It felt like hope at least. Feelings in general were still something new she was trying to embrace. In those few moments she knew she had failed though. This tough exterior wall she had been building up crumbled to the ground. She was always so careful not to show anything or let anyone in. And here was Beast Boy finding his way through and seeing right into her. If he knew it would only be a short time before everyone else knew too. She would be exposed for what she was... weak and defenseless, not a titan. She couldn't bear that.

Later that day the Titans were sitting at the table waiting for Cyborg to finish cooking dinner. Talk of video games, arguments of tofu, and requests for a three gallon jar of mustard were discussed until finally Beast Boy cracked.

"Guys, she's lying. I know something's wrong with her. She's not acting the same."

"BB you need to calm your little green butt down. Raven said she was okay. You know how much concentration meditation takes for her. If she's trying something knew then it probably took a lot out of her." Cyborg said as he served everyone their dinner.

"I don't care what she said. I could tell. I know she's not okay, I can't just sit here and wait for something else to happen." He said angrily as he got up.

"Beast Boy calm down. We're doing what we can to keep her stable. She's going to be okay. You're just getting carried away." Robin said trying to bring some authority.

"Whatever. You guys do what you want, but I can't just sit back and watch Raven suffer from what's bothering her." Beast Boy stated as he got up from the table.

"BB, where do ya think you're going?" Cyborg called out.

"To get some answers," he said in a huff and left.

He walked down the quiet hall until he was standing outside the door that was going to give him the answers that he needed. Raven's door was slightly open since they had never actually closed it after they found her passed out. He was glad he stuck to his instincts and went back a second time after Raven said she was fine. He had stood outside her door knocking for what felt like an eternity before he decided to violate her privacy. He had morphed into an insect and crawled under her doorframe when he found her sprawled out on the floor.

He hovered by the door uneasily as he hesitated to go in. He knew Raven would be angry if she found out he was in her room, but this was just something that he needed to do. He nudged the door the rest of the way open and walked inside. It looked no different than it usually did, the whole room was dark. There were candles in the center of her room in a circle. Books were scattered everywhere. He walked around the room looking for what he needed. Cyborg and he had once stumbled upon it by pure accident, but this time he really needed it and of course it was nowhere to be found.

He went to her bed and sat down on the dark silk sheets.

"Now if I were Raven, where would I stash something that I wouldn't want anyone to find?" he asked himself out loud.

He looked to his side and saw what appeared to be a black leather book sticking out from under Raven's pillow. He pushed the pillow aside and picked the book up. His mouth dropped as he opened it.

"Raven keeps a diary," he squealed.

He knew he shouldn't because it was a major invasion of privacy, but he'd already gone in her room without her permission. He might as well see what she writes about. If anything maybe it would give him a clue as to what had changed her. Everyone else didn't seem to notice it, but he had picked up on all the new quirks Raven had developed over the last few days.

For starters she barely ever left her room at all. When she did it was really early in the morning or late at night. When she meditated in front of the giant bay window overlooking Jump she no longer levitated and her concentration seemed broken. She no longer walked around with her hood down. It was always raised and hid her eyes from everyone. And whenever someone said her name it almost always took her a moment to register that she was safe to speak back. Yes, something was definitely wrong and he hoped this personal book would offer him all the answers he needed.