Chapter 26: Timing's Necessary

Kuwabara skidded to a halt at Yusuke's side and the two exchanged looks of utter horror.

"He just…" Yusuke began, indicating the gate with his hands and then waving at the point where Kurama had vanished into the infinite void beyond the path.

"Is he…?" Kuwabara asked.

"Kurama!" Hiei wailed, dropping to his knees and peering over the edge of the path.

"He didn't even read the sign!" Yusuke said.

"You did this!" Hiei hissed, turning sharply to Yusuke.

"What?" Yusuke yelped.

"You did this!" Hiei repeated, getting to his feet.

His eyes were ablaze with inconsolable rage as he started towards Yusuke, but Kuwabara quickly leapt in front of him.

"Hey, this isn't the time for fighting, you pint-sized freak!" he said. "We need to figure out a way to get Kurama back!"

Hiei stopped and moved his attention to Kuwabara, glaring up at him angrily. Kuwabara faltered slightly but did not move. He saw Hiei's breathing start to become heavier and the edges of his features start to tighten and warp until suddenly he let out a quivering, squeaking sound and his knees buckled beneath him. He staggered slightly to keep himself upright, one hand slapping against his chest and the other disappearing into his pant's pocket, fumbling desperately around for something.

"Koenma must be able to bring him back from wherever he went to, right?" Yusuke said, stepping forwards to stand alongside Kuwabara.

"Yeah that's right, Urameshi!" Kuwabara agreed. "Koenma can do anything! And we're looking for Koenma anyway, right? We just have to find Koenma, and we'll get Kurama back, right?"

"Yeah, sure, it's just… What the hell are you doing?"

Kuwabara frowned until he realised that Yusuke was directing his question at Hiei. Turning towards their smaller companion, Kuwabara watched in curious bewilderment as Hiei recovered a small lump of brown pulp that looked as though a it has once been brown paper bag, but had been soaked in water too long to be anything functional any longer. Hiei made a small squeaking sound before starting to breathe loudly, each breath shallow and redundant, the colour draining from his face and his pupils shrinking with every passing second.

"Hiei?" Yusuke said cautiously. "Hiei, just try to stay calm, okay? Kurama can handle himself, he'll be okay. He's just gone to another dimension or something, and he'll be back before we know it. Right, Kuwabara?"

"What?" Kuwabara echoed.

"Kurama'll be fine, right Kuwabara?" Yusuke replied, jabbing a sharp elbow into Kuwabara's ribs.

"Ow, uh, yeah! Right, yeah!" Kuwabara said, nodding vigorously. "Kurama'll be just fine!"

"Idiots…" Hiei croaked out. "He's… He's…"

Yusuke and Kuwabara exchanged nervous looks again.

"This isn't good," Kuwabara whispered. "We've lost Kurama, we can't find Koenma, and now Hiei is freaking out."

"Yeah, and if someone all noble and virtuous like Kurama can't open the dumb gate, it's a safe bet neither of us could either," Yusuke whispered back.

Hiei started to stagger towards the edge of the road and both Yusuke and Kuwabara raced after him, grabbing an arm each to stop him falling.

"He's gone…" Hiei said, his voice small and light. "I can't believe he's gone… I can't believe something so trivial could have defeated a warrior so mighty…"

Yusuke and Kuwabara exchanged concerned looks before both peering over the edge of the path. All three looked down at the clouds gliding past the underside of the road, the sight proving to be an almost dizzying one: and, just as they started to collectively lean back, something smacked against the path by Kuwabara's left foot. Kuwabara yelped and leapt back, almost falling over the opposite side of the path. He steadied himself and watched as a familiar thorned vine wound around the entire width of the path. Yusuke and Hiei peered over the edge of the path and Hiei whimpered pitifully.

"Hey, what took you so long?" Yusuke called down.

Kuwabara moved over to join them, peering down to see Kurama climbing back up via his Rose Whip.

"I deserved that," Kurama quietly replied, his voice almost carried away entirely by the wind below the road that was sweeping back his hair as he climbed.

"Well I did try to warn you," Yusuke said casually.

"We thought you'd been sent to limbo or something," Kuwabara said as Kurama reached the path and began pulling himself back onto it.

"Not quite," Kurama replied, hoisting himself up.

"You're okay!" Hiei gushed.

Kurama grabbed Hiei's shoulders to steady him as he almost stumbled right off the edge of the path. Hiei gazed up at him almost lovingly, which did little to ease Kurama's growing concern that his friend was misinterpreting their friendship for something more.

"What were the instructions, anyway?" Kuwabara asked.

"I dunno, I didn't finish clearing the moss away," Yusuke replied.

Yusuke and Kuwabara hurried over to the rock and swept aside the remaining moss, both scanning over the text.

"Only those who are pure and chassis may pass this gate," Yusuke read aloud.

"What?" Kurama echoed. "That doesn't make any sense!"

Kuwabara scratched his head as he scanned over the text.

"Are you sure that says chassis, Urameshi?" he asked.

"Yeah, of course!" Yusuke scoffed. "Chassis is a French word, idiot! The "T" is silent."

"Oh, right!" Kuwabara said, nodding slowly. "But it still doesn't make any sense. I thought chassis was like the base of a car."

"It is," Kurama said.

"Maybe it was a typo," Yusuke suggested. "Or a chisel-o, since it's engraved in rock, right?"

"Maybe instead of scraping the bottom of the barrel for jokes we should figure out a way to pass this gate," Kurama said harshly.

"Gees, relax, fox boy!" Yusuke retorted.

"He did nearly just fall into a pit of eternal suffering," Kuwabara pointed out. "I'd probably be a bit snippy after something like that too."

Yusuke rolled his eyes.

"Well look, it says "pure", and this is spirit world, right?" he began. "So obviously it means someone who is pure by spirit world standards. Someone who isn't a demon. Which means Hiei can't open it, since he's one hundred percent demon, and if Kurama, a demon in a human body, isn't pure enough to open it, then I won't be either – because, like Kurama and Koenma told us at the start of this stupid mission, my body is now all demon. So it has to be Kuwabara."

Kuwabara flinched and gulped as Yusuke pointed a finger at him.

"Before you even attempt it, let us not take any more chances," Kurama warned. "I was incredibly lucky not to plummet to certain death with my own reckless actions, we can't afford to take any more risks like that."

Kurama carefully released Hiei and untangled his Rose Whip from the path. He then held out the tip towards Kuwabara.

"Thread this into the belt hoops of your pants," he suggested. "Yusuke and I will hold onto the other end, just in case you fail."

"I don't know if I want to do this…" Kuwabara muttered.

"We can't just hang around here for the rest of our lives!" Yusuke snapped.

Kuwabara sighed and accepted the end of Kurama's Rose Whip, doing as Kurama had suggested and threading it through his belt hoops and then tying the end back onto the body of the vine. He looked up at Kurama and Yusuke as they both gripped onto the handle with both hands. They nodded at him to indicate that he should continue and he reluctantly nodded back. He turned to the gate and took a deep breath. He muttered a few concerns to himself as he reached for the latch of the gate, but when nothing happened upon him closing his fingers around it he sighed and relaxed.

"Sometimes it pays to be human!" he said confidently as he pulled down on the latch.

An instant later, Kuwabara was airborne and screaming. Yusuke and Kurama braced themselves as his weight caught against the Rose Whip, both peering over the edge of the path at Kuwabara's terrified and pale face looking back up at them.

"What the hell went wrong?" he cried.

"I don't know," Kurama called back to him. "Let's get him back up here," he said to Yusuke.

"Right," Yusuke agreed, pulling on the Rose Whip. "So I guess that even though Kuwabara's pure, he's not chassis enough to take the challenge."

Kurama screwed up his face.

"It doesn't make sense, Yusuke," he said. "Are you absolutely sure that it said "chassis"?"

"I'm not an idiot, Kurama!" Yusuke snapped irritably.

"I don't get why they would use a French word on a spirit world sign," Kuwabara said as he managed to hook one elbow onto the path.

"Because all the complicated things come from France," Yusuke said.

"I guess the most famous philosophers of the world are French," Kuwabara agreed.

"It doesn't matter that the word is originally a French word, it is a loanword, is has no equivalent and therefore means the same in any language," Kurama pointed out. "However we look at it, it means the framework of a car, and that makes no sense."

"Nothing in spirit world makes any sense," Yusuke said. "Hadn't you noticed that before?"

Kurama checked that Kuwabara was safely on the path before dropping his Rose Whip and marching up to the engraving to read it for himself. He sighed at what he saw.

"See?" Yusuke called over to him. "Pure and chassis!"

"No, Yusuke," Kurama flatly replied. "It says "pure and chaste"."

"…No, that's not how you pronounce it," Yusuke corrected him. "It's French, the "T" is silent. It's pronounced "chassis"."

"Chassis is spelt C-H-A-S-S-I-S," Kurama pointed out.

"…Cha-sis? That doesn't make any sense!"

"And a sign asking for a person who is "pure and chassis" does make sense?"

Yusuke scowled.

"It's says chaste," Kurama insisted.

"What the hell does "chaste" mean?" Kuwabara asked. "It sounds sort of… Rude…"

"How so?" Yusuke asked him.

"Well it sort of sounds like the word "chastity"," Kuwabara pointed out.

"So only a girl in metal padlocked panties can open the gate?" Yusuke asked, turning to Kurama.

Kurama sighed quietly, his shoulders slumping.

"That's a chastity belt, Yusuke," he said.

"No it's not a belt, it like a pair of panties with a padlock on them," Yusuke argued.

"No, Yusuke," Kurama insisted. "Think about it: what are all residents of spirit world that virtually no adults of demon world or living world are?"

"Stupid?" Yusuke suggested.

"Eternal?" Kuwabara volunteered.

"Blue?" Yusuke tried.

"Weird?" Kuwabara asked.

"Virginal."

Yusuke and Kuwabara turned sharply to Hiei, who looked as though saying the word had left a sickening taste in his mouth.

"Correct," Kurama replied. "We can't pass this gate without a representative from spirit world. Since it's clear that Koenma has gone on ahead without us, we need to find another. A ferry girl or an ogre would suffice… Clearly this was another reason why Fumio needed to take an ice maiden. He must have known that tests such as these existed here. That was why he needed a virgin."

"This is a joke, right?" Yusuke asked, turning back to Kurama. "No way does that gate seriously need a virgin to open it! That's the dumbest test ever!"

"Also an accurate way of wheedling out the impure and non-native trespassers," Kurama plainly replied. "I feared something like this may face us, but I had hoped that we would find Koenma before we got this far."

"So what do we do now?" Kuwabara asked.

"We have to turn back," Kurama replied. "Or at least, the fastest of us has to go back and get someone who can open this gate out here."

"Well since Hiei's too sick, I guess that's me," Yusuke said. "I'll go back."

He turned and started to take off back along the path but was forced to skid to a halt as Hiei stepped into his path.

"You don't have to do that, Yusuke," Hiei said gently. "It would just be a waste of time. There is another way, a way that we can open that gate without getting help from anyone else."

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about, Hiei!" Yusuke snapped. "Unless you're about to tell us that you're a virgin?"

Hiei hung his head and stepped past Yusuke, starting towards the gate. Yusuke turned to watch him go, his eyes wide with amazement. Kuwabara watched Hiei go with equal surprise, but Kurama took on a look of irritation and lunged at Hiei, grabbing his arm and yanking him away from the gate as he tried to reach out and attempt to open it.

"Don't be such a fool!" he spat. "You and I both know that you're the most sexually active of us all!"

Hiei shook his head, which only infuriated Kurama further.

"This is not the time for you to rush in foolishly and almost get yourself killed, as is your typical, thoughtless approach to everything!" Kurama hissed.

"Rush in foolishly and almost get himself killed?" Yusuke repeated. "You mean like how you just did?"

Kurama faltered, his grip on Hiei's arm lessening.

"I'm going back for help," Yusuke said.

"No! You don't have to!" Hiei insisted.

Yusuke turned and ran off and Hiei jerked his shoulder out of Kurama's grasp.

"This is wasting time!" he said as Kurama turned on him.

"Just sit down and use the opportunity to rest," Kurama sternly told him. "You'll need your energy for the next leg of the journey."

"But I can–"

"Sit down."

Hiei opened his mouth to argue, but another stern glare from Kurama silenced him.

"Hey!" Yusuke yelled.

Kurama, Hiei and Kuwabara turned to see him running back towards them, looking furious.

"Hey, what the hell?" he yelled.

He ran into Kuwabara, almost throwing him off the path. Kuwabara staggered precariously close to the edge, peering down warily over his shoulder as he righted himself once more.

"Why the hell didn't the gate open for you?" Yusuke snapped as Kuwabara turned to him.

"It only opens for…" Kurama began. "Wait… That's a good point. Why didn't the gate open for you, Kuwabara?"

"It didn't open for you either, Kurama!" Kuwabara pointed out.

"Yeah, I guess your record as a fox counted," Yusuke said, eying Kurama over. "Since you're a virgin in that body…"

"What?" Hiei echoed, glancing back and forth between Yusuke and Kurama.

"But why the hell didn't it open for you?" Yusuke asked, turning to Kuwabara again. "Did Yukina finally put out?"

"Shut-up!" Hiei yelped.

Kuwabara looked over at Hiei nervously.

"Uh, no, it wasn't like that," he said sheepishly.

"So then when did you ever get lucky with a girl?" Yusuke demanded.

"Well, you know, in my first year at college, there was Ayame…" Kuwabara said quietly.

"You slept with Ayame?" Yusuke echoed. "But she was hot!"

"I know she was hot!" Kuwabara snapped.

"But why didn't you tell us about it?" Yusuke asked, waving a hand between himself and Kurama and Hiei.

"Because I don't think it's nice to talk about it," Kuwabara replied quietly. "I think it's really disrespectful the way you go on and on about all the things you do with Keiko. I wouldn't talk about a girl like that, it's not right."

"You are so lame, Kuwabara! I thought you'd at least tell us you'd managed to make a girl sleep with you!"

Kuwabara muttered something, rubbing a hand at the back of his neck and turning from Yusuke.

"What did you just say?" Yusuke echoed.

"Three?" Kurama said. "Who were the other two?"

"What?" Yusuke yelped. "You've slept with three girls?"

"Yeah, but I don't like to brag about it, okay?" Kuwabara snapped. "It's not something you're supposed to go on and on about like you do!"

"God damn it! How can you have slept with more women than me?"

Yusuke clapped a hand over his mouth, turning suddenly very pale and then slowly very red.

"Three is more than you?" Kurama asked. "Meaning you've only slept with two women?"

"Or maybe just Keiko…" Kuwabara said, grinning slyly.

"Shut the hell up!" Yusuke snapped. "You guys are all dick-holes!"

He spun on his heels and took off back the way they had come, this time running faster than before and disappearing from sight in mere seconds. Once Yusuke was out of sight Kuwabara slowly turned to Kurama.

"Well that was…" Kurama began.

"Unbelievable!" Hiei finished for him. "The way he talks about the female anatomy he would have us all believe that he has seen more than just Keiko's naked body!"

"Well he has seen more than just Keiko naked, actually," Kurama said.

"I don't think he has, you know," Kuwabara said. "He got really pissed off just then."

"He has," Kurama insisted. "On the way here, he told me he paid a prostitute to give him a guided tour of her nether regions."

Kuwabara snorted into his hand in amusement.

"Wouldn't it be ironic if that was the only woman he had ever seen naked?" Hiei said quietly.

"Don't be ridiculous, Hiei!" Kurama said. "Keiko may well present the façade of a good girl to you and I, but I have no doubt that she is secretly every bit the pervert behind closed doors. Girls like her always are. They are almost ashamed of their own sexuality, but, get them naked and alone, and they show a completely different side of themselves."

"You sound like you know what you're talking about…" Kuwabara said slowly. "Have you and Keiko ever…?"

"No, of course not!" Kurama replied. "But I've been with girls like her before. They are perhaps the best kind: quiet, polite, traditional and dignified on the outside, but secretly hiding a wilder aspect of their nature, a side they only share with one person. It makes such a union all the more intense and passionate."

"Really?"

Kurama turned to Hiei, finding him smiling up at him optimistically, one finger twirling around a strand of hair by the back of his neck.

"It hardly applies to you, Hiei," Kurama pointed out.

Hiei opened his mouth, holding up one finger as though to argue the point; but hesitated as Kurama narrowed his eyes threateningly.

"Just sit down," Kurama told him.

Hiei sighed and sat down by Kurama's feet, hanging his head miserably.

Botan smiled as she began to waken, stretching her arms up and then out at her sides. When she felt nothing but bed-sheets on the bed with her she opened her eyes and sat up abruptly, looking about the room with desperate twists of her neck.

"Hiei?" she called out.

She threw off the covers and scrambled out of the bed, charging across the room and tearing open the door. She ran up and down the length of the hallway beyond, calling for Hiei as she went, but she received no reply. She darted into the living room, where she had removed his clothes the night before, but found that his clothes and his sword, just like Hiei himself, had vanished.

"Oh, cornflakes!" she cursed, stamping a bare foot against the wooden floor and punching a fist downwards. "Typical Hiei! Just like Yusuke, Kuwabara and Kurama! Always running off on an adventure and leaving me behind!"

Botan padded her way through the temple, only pausing as she passed a mirror and was reminded that she was completely naked. She paused long enough to realise that she was completely alone in an isolated temple before deciding that it was fun to walk about naked for a change and then she continued into the kitchen where she began preparing herself a breakfast. As she worked she wondered where Hiei had run off to: after all, all she had done for him the night before was to clear the infection in his jagan eye. She had yet to work on completely curing him of the lingering presence of the virus he had been suffering from, and although he was healthier, he was still not back to full strength. His jagan eye, however, was at least once more fully functional.

Yusuke dropped to his knees as he rejoined the team by the gate.

"You couldn't find anyone to help us?" Kuwabara asked him.

Yusuke gave him a threatening glare as a small chunk of his hair fell from his head.

"You couldn't get back through the first gate," Kurama said.

"No, I couldn't," Yusuke confirmed, wiping a grubby hand across his forehead. "There's a sign on this side of the gate that says it's one-way only. I tried forcing it, and I got fried by some kind of lightning five times."

A frazzled piece of fabric fell from Yusuke's torn shirt as though to underline his point.

"I tried," he insisted. "But I guess we're stuck here."

"We can't be stuck here!" Kuwabara wailed.

"Well we are," Kurama told him. "Until Koenma finds us. Perhaps you should try calling him, Yusuke."

"I did," Yusuke said. "After the gate fried me, I called his office, and that idiot ogre answered it. It was like he'd just woke up. He got all panicky and then cut me off. This stupid mission!"

"What if nobody ever finds us here?" Kuwabara asked.

"Once Koenma returns to his office, we can call him," Kurama replied. "Or perhaps we could call Botan?"

"Yeah, I tried that too," Yusuke said.

"And?" Kurama pressed.

"Keiko answered it," Yusuke replied. "She was all panicky too, so I cut her off."

"Why would Keiko have Botan's communication mirror?" Kurama asked.

"I don't know," Yusuke sighed. "I can't believe we're stuck here now! This blows!"

Hiei slowly stood up.

"Well, actually, we're not stuck here," he said softly. "We can proceed with our journey. One of us just has to open the gate."

"None of us can open the gate," Kurama reminded him. "Not unless you're about to tell us that, due to your apparent confusion about your own true desires, you've never followed through with any of the women you've ever laid down with, and are, therefore, a virgin?"

Hiei gulped and lowered his head to watch his hands as his fingers knitted together in front of him.

"You're wrong," he said quietly. "You're wrong about me and you're wrong about none of us being able to open the gate."

"Kuwabara was our only real hope," Kurama replied.

"Or you, since Shuichi's a virgin," Kuwabara pointed out.

"Right, and neither of us were successful," Kurama agreed. "Therefore none of us can open that gate."

"One of us can," Hiei insisted, lifting his head and meeting Kurama's eyes.

He sighed softly, moving his eyes to Kuwabara and then Yusuke.

"Before I do this, I want to say that I'm so sorry, Yusuke," he said. "And Kaz–"

Hiei turned to Kuwabara as though to address him next, but he was cut off as Yusuke leapt to his feet and grabbed handfuls of his shirt, almost lifting him clean off the ground. Hiei yelped in shock as Yusuke leaned over him, their noses almost touching.

"You listen to me, you dirty little son of a bitch, and you listen good," Yusuke snarled at him. "When we finish this mission, so help me God I am gonna find the rustiest, bluntest melon baller, and I am gonna gouge that stupid, ugly, interfering, freaky eye out of your tiny little forehead!"

"Wh-what?" Hiei whimpered.

"I told you never to read my mind, you bastard!" Yusuke yelled.

He roughly released Hiei, who fell back onto his backside, looking as shocked and confused as Kurama and Kuwabara did when Yusuke then stomped towards the gate.

"Yusuke, no!" Kurama cried, scrambling up as Yusuke grabbed the latch of the gate.

Yusuke barked out a string of particularly offensive curse words before yanking open the gate and passing through it.

"What the…?" Kuwabara muttered.

Yusuke spun around, glaring back at Hiei, who was watching him with wide, startled eyes.

"Don't act like this isn't what you were really getting at all along, you bastard!" he yelled, pointing back at Hiei as he spoke. "You read my mind, and you knew I was the only one here who could open this stupid gate!"

"You're a virgin?" Kurama asked.

"It's not like that!" Yusuke replied, his voice cracking and rising up a pitch. "It's just that Keiko wants to wait until we get married, and every time I try to get close to another girl, my mazoku genes take over and I get those all blue marks appearing and it freaks girls out!"

"You mean those markings that appear over your face and chest?" Kurama asked.

"Those aren't so bad, because I can pretend those are tattoos," Yusuke replied. "It's those weird stripes that appear on my dick!"

Someone started to laugh and Yusuke roared out in rage.

"It's not funny, you assholes!" he yelled. "So what if I've never actually done it with a girl? It's not like it… It's not like I… I just…"

"But you're always talking about doing stuff with Keiko," Kuwabara pointed out. "Was that all lies?"

"Obviously it was," Hiei said.

"You shut-up, short stack!" Yusuke snapped. "This is all your fault!"

"It's not my fault Keiko won't consent to make love to you and that all other females are repulsed by your striped appendage," Hiei quietly replied.

The laughter became louder and Yusuke stomped back through the gate, glaring around his three team-mates.

"Stop laughing!" he squealed.

"What about that story you told me about paying the prostitute to educate you about a woman's body?" Kurama asked.

"That was true!" Yusuke said.

"But you said it was the best money you'd ever spent," Kurama said slowly.

"Again, that was true!"

"Well, not really, for all the use you've been able to make of the knowledge you gained…"

The laughter became hysterical.

"Stop laughing!" Yusuke screamed.

Kuwabara looked at Kurama and then Hiei.

"But none of us are laughing," he pointed out.

"That was the funniest thing I've ever seen!"

Kuwabara, Kurama and Hiei looked back over their shoulders to see Koenma, in his adult form, doubled over behind them, laughing hysterically. Yusuke cursed and kicked at the stone pillar by the gate.

"I came here… Because I thought for sure… That none of you would get past this gate," Koenma said between fits of laughter.

"How long have you been standing there?" Yusuke asked.

"Not that long," Koenma said, straightening up and wiping the tears from his eyes. "I would have been here a lot sooner, but the ogre forgot to wake me up on time. So I got here just before Hiei stood up to out you."

"You got here before I opened the gate?" Yusuke growled.

"Yes," Koenma replied.

"And you didn't say anything?"

"If I had said something, if I had stepped forward and opened the gate, we never would have found out that you're a virgin, Yusuke."

"Exactly!"

Koenma started to laugh again and Kuwabara began to snigger into his hands.

"You're a bigger virgin than me!" Yusuke yelled, pointing at Koenma accusingly.

"He's a baby," Hiei pointed out. "We wouldn't expect any less."

"Shut-up, Hiei!"

Hiei started to smile.

"Don't you dare laugh!"

Hiei covered his mouth with his hands and Kurama began to chuckle quietly.

"You guys are really starting to piss me off!" Yusuke shouted. "Each and every God damn one of you!"

"Careful Yusuke, we don't want you to get too emotional," Kurama said solemnly.

"Why not?" Koenma asked.

"It wouldn't be a good look," Kurama replied. "Stripes with those pants?"

Koenma and Kuwabara burst out laughing and Yusuke stormed through the gate.

"Screw you guys!" he shouted before slamming the gate shut between them.

Koenma shrugged and reopened the gate, waving a hand for Kurama, Hiei and Kuwabara to pass through ahead of him. By the time they had all passed through, Yusuke had marched off into the distance, still clearly irate.

"Well that was educational," Koenma said, looking around the others. "And entertaining!"

"This mission has been the most educational and entertaining event of my life," Hiei said.

"You're so weird," Kuwabara muttered, eying Hiei over.

"And still sick, I see," Koenma said with a sigh. "How unfortunate. I had hoped that Botan would have found you by now."

"What?" Kurama echoed. "We thought that Botan was here in spirit world?"

"She was," Koenma replied. "Until she took it upon herself to flee from this safe haven. I tried to stop her, and I went to living world to try to find her, but to no avail."

"So then where is she?" Kurama asked.

"I don't know," Koenma replied, shaking his head solemnly. "She did go to living world initially, but when I went there in search of her, she had already moved on. She left her communication mirror behind, so I can't even call her. She said she was leaving because she had to help Hiei. I assumed she had used the Demon Compass to find you."

"Um…" Hiei began, glancing nervously at Kurama. "No?"

"She was desperate to get to you," Koenma said. "She's very fond of you. I don't need to tell you that though, right? Not after that little SCD34124 she put across my desk last month, right?"

Koenma made a growling sound and wiggled his eyebrows at Hiei, who simply shook his head in reply, his eyes large and questioning.

"Playing it sly, huh?" Koenma said. "I guess only those who don't get any action talk about it – like Yusuke just demonstrated!"

Kuwabara and Koenma started laughing again and both began following after Yusuke. Hiei started to go after them but stopped as Kurama put a hand on his shoulder. He looked back at the fox demon expectantly.

"What's a "SCD34124"?" Kurama asked quietly.

"I have no idea, I swear," Hiei quietly replied.

Kurama gave him a scrutinising glare before slowly moving his hand from his shoulder.

"I'm going to trust you in this instance," he said before stepping past Hiei and following the others.

Hiei remained behind, watching him go.

Botan was getting bored. She had been awake for hours and there was nothing for her to do. She decided she would go into the city and visit Keiko and Shizuru in the hope that she could perhaps convince them to team up with her and try to solve the mystery of what was really going on in spirit world. And, with that idea in mind, she headed for the front door of the temple to retrieve her oar, which she had last left standing in the umbrella stand by the door. But as she stepped into the hallway she stopped short, momentarily stunned into silence when she saw a breathless, sweating figure standing by the open door, holding her oar in his hands, inspecting it meticulously.

"Hiei?" she whispered.

His head snapped up and his eyes met hers.

"Hiei!" she said cheerfully, bouncing towards him.

"This isn't your usual weapon," he said, thrusting the oar out towards her, causing her to halt abruptly before she collided with it.

"No, I broke my oar," she explained, taking the oar from him. "This was a gift from Princess Mukuro."

"Mukuro?" Hiei echoed. "When were you – wait, Princess?"

"I went to demon world to look for you," Botan explained. "I just wanted to cure you of your sickness. And maybe also remind you about our little agreement. Do you know how long it took me to find form SCD34124 in the spirit world document control centre?"

"Shut-up, shut-up, I'm trying to think!" Hiei said, waving a dismissive hand at her. "So… If you really did go to demon world, and you really do call Mukuro "Princess", then that means I didn't imagine that… I thought that was another trick my jagan eye was playing on me when it was malfunctioning. But if that really happened… What about…?"

Hiei pushed past Botan and marched briskly down the hall. Botan threw down her oar and hurried after him, catching up to him as he entered Yukina's bedroom. He flung the mattress off the bed and dropped to his knees, grabbing up the numerous poems and pictures that had been concealed there, his eyes growing wider and his snarl growing fiercer with every page he touched.

"You know I thought you handled this situation with remarkable grace, Hiei," Botan said, kneeling down beside him. "That day Kurama found these, and you just calmly discussed it with him… It was so unlike you. I was sure you would have been furious if you had ever found out that Yukina had a cute little crush on your best friend."

"I'm going to eviscerate that fucking fox," Hiei growled, rising to his feet with handfuls of papers that burned to ashes in a flash of black flames.

"What?" Botan yelped, leaping to her feet.

"I thought it was the virus…" Hiei said, staggering from the room. "I thought I was imagining it…"

Botan darted after him, almost running straight into him as she found him stopped in the hallway by a display of swords. He was running a finger along the lowest rung, which was empty.

"She took this sword," he said quietly.

"Who did?" Botan asked. "Yukina?"

"Yes," Hiei replied.

"Oh my goodness!" she gasped. "But why?"

"She took it out there, to the bird," Hiei replied, pointing towards the back of the temple.

He strode off in the direction he was pointing and Botan hurried after him, following him out of the back of the temple and across the lawn to Puu's barn.

"Here," he said, pointing at the barn door. "She came here. To the bird. She collected the bird, and then she took the bird and the sword…"

Hiei turned around completely on the spot before staggering a step and touching a hand to his head.

"Oh, Hiei, you're still sick!" Botan said, putting an arm around his shoulders to steady him.

"I thought you cured me," he grumbled.

"I cured your eye and eased some of your symptoms, but to properly cure you, I need you awake," she explained.

He sighed and stepped out of her embrace. He pulled off his shirt and began unfastening the belts of his pants.

"What are you doing?" Botan asked him.

"How many hours do we have to lie naked together for this to work?" he asked.

"Um…"

"I don't have much time here, woman!"

"Well, there is another way…"

Hiei stopped short, his hands bunched around his pants, which he had already pushed halfway down his thighs.

"I'm not having sex with you," he said quietly.

"But you signed the SCD34124 form!" Botan complained.

"That wasn't a sex contract," Hiei said slowly. "Was it?"

Botan nodded.

"Oh."

Botan sighed.

"It doesn't mean that you're obliged to be with me," she said forlornly. "But I thought you wanted to be. That first night we fooled around, you said the only reason you wouldn't take it any further was because you didn't want to get in trouble with spirit world, which was why I got the form in the first place. Lord Koenma gave it a stamp of approval and everything."

"Hn."

Botan looked down at the ground for a moment before grinning slyly and looking into Hiei's eyes again.

"I have cherry-vanilla syrup in the temple," she said.

Hiei twitched.

"Cherry-vanilla flavour?" he asked. "Not cherry flavour, not vanilla flavour, but cherry-vanilla flavour?"

Botan nodded.

"Hn."

"I could prepare myself for you?"

Hiei released his pants, allowing them to fall to his ankles.

"Can I watch you do that?" he asked.

Botan nodded.

"Alright fine," he agreed. "But after forty minutes I'm ending it. I don't care if neither of us has peaked, it ends after forty minutes, understand?"

"Of course," Botan agreed.

"I do have important things I need to do and other places I need to be," he reminded her.

"You wait here, I'll get the syrup."

"Hn."

"Is this the last one?" Kuwabara asked.

"Yes," Koenma confirmed, looking ahead at the gate they were approaching. "After this it's just a short walk into the rural area of spirit world."

"Thank goodness," Kurama said.

Yusuke was still far ahead of them and already almost at the gate.

"What are the pre-requisites for opening this…" Kurama began. "Gate…" he finished as Yusuke kicked the gate open and stormed through it.

"The inscription, had he bothered to check it, reads "Only those who will use their strength for the greater good of Spirit World may pass this gate"," Koenma replied. "And I suppose, since Yusuke is now looking to fight the enemy present here, he qualifies to open that gate."

"That was lucky," Kuwabara muttered.

They continued on in silence, passing through the gate and walking around a wide curve in the path, through misty skies, before suddenly reaching a long, open stretch of path that led onto an expanse of land in the middle distance, beyond which lay a rolling mountain range. Yusuke had stopped and Koenma, Kurama and Kuwabara stopped behind him.

"What the hell happened here?" Kuwabara asked quietly.

"This happened two days ago," Koenma replied. "Even though we isolated their weapon supply, the demons still managed to reach the orchard within the original seven-day stretch I predicted they would. And that's not all. The situation here has deteriorated quite rapidly in the past few days. This isn't the worst of it."

Kurama moved ahead of the others, scanning across the barren landscape ahead of them, the occasional lifeless shard of wood sticking out of the ground the only lasting clue as to what had once occupied that stretch of land.

"They're all gone," he said quietly. "How can it get any worse than this?"

"We think we have seeds to replace them all," Koenma assured him. "But clearly this is why the demons took an ice maiden with them. They made her destroy every tree in the orchard, including the Tree of Previous Life."

"How did this happen?" Kurama demanded. "Where are the SDF?"

Koenma lowered his head.

"Damn it…" Yusuke muttered.

Kuwabara and Kurama turned to him expectantly.

"They've been killed, or kidnapped, or disabled, haven't they?" Yusuke asked Koenma.

"Two out of three, actually," Koenma replied. "Captain Ootake has been taken hostage, five of the other eight officers have been incapacitated, and the remaining three are fighting to stop the bandits moving any further inward."

Kuwabara looked about himself, turning around in a complete circle.

"Hey you guys?" he said. "Where's Hiei?"

"He fell behind," Kurama replied, his eyes still on the shattered remains of the orchard. "He's still too stubborn to admit how sick he is, he'll catch up to us eventually. I suggest we continue on to the orchard and wait for him there. I want to examine the damage for myself, and we may find a clue there as to where our enemy is now."

"Right," Yusuke agreed. "You guys go ahead."

"What are you gonna do?" Kuwabara asked him.

"Wait here for Hiei, in case he can't get through the gate," Yusuke muttered.

"Good idea," Koenma agreed.

He nodded at Kurama and, along with Kuwabara, they continued on their journey.

Next Chapter: Botan heals Hiei completely, and, in his recovered state, Hiei leads Botan to the bloody evidence of Yukina's sacrifice. In spirit world, the team realise that Fumio and his gang have devastated much of spirit world and they will have quite the task hunting him down and stopping his rampage from causing further chaos. Meanwhile, after losing one of his hostages, Fumio makes an interesting discovery through using one of the spirit detective items in a way none of the others thought to throughout this entire fic (maybe if Yusuke hadn't screwed around using it to spy on the ice maidens in the back of the truck and instead used it somewhere else close by, for example). Chapter 27 – Teamwork Needed

"Space Core Directive 34124: No officer with false teeth should attempt oral sex in zero gravity".