Chapter 28: Tenth Night
In an instant, the turmoil of thoughts that had been thundering through Kurama's mind vanished, leaving behind only the vaguest idea that he really ought to be thinking about what he was doing: but logic was lost to longing. As he pushed his lips against Hiei's – which felt surprisingly soft and cool against his – his hands hovered hesitantly by his friend's shoulders. Hiei was pushing into him with just as much force as he was and so when one of Hiei's hands suddenly grabbed his knee, Kurama was not entirely sure if it was to stabilise himself or an act of affection: either way, the additional physical contact was enough to break Kurama's moment of indecision and his hands fell to Hiei's shoulders. As he was still without his cloak, Hiei's shoulders were bare, and the feeling of skin against his palms sent a jolt of desire through Kurama.
Hiei made a small, delicate moan, the quivering of which passed through his lips to Kurama's and Kurama answered him with a growl, gripping his fingers into Hiei's shoulders. Hiei flinched slightly at the pressure, and although Kurama knew that he was not squeezing hard enough to hurt a demon as powerful as Hiei, he loosened his grip regardless, dragging his fingers down Hiei's back. Hiei leaned back far enough for their lips to part slightly and Kurama opened his eyes – which he only then realised had been closed again – looking directly into Hiei's eyes in front of his own.
"This is wrong," he whispered.
"Do you care?" Kurama asked.
Hiei's eyes flitted down to Kurama's lips and Kurama cocked a smirk as he distinctly saw Hiei's pupils dilate with desire.
"I should," he eventually answered.
"I don't," Kurama growled, leaning forwards and catching Hiei's bottom lip between both of his.
Hiei squealed a muffled, indignant noise of complaint, but his hands reached forwards and grabbed into Kurama's shirt. When he heard a button pop open and he felt a draft of cool air reach the small area of exposed skin on his abdomen Kurama balled his fists around the back of Hiei's shirt, pulling it out from his pants. Hiei tried to speak but Kurama denied him the opportunity, sealing his lips over Hiei's before any coherent sound could leave his mouth.
Hiei and Kurama clawed at each other, their lips moving together a little awkwardly and their clothing becoming untidier and looser about their bodies with every passing second. When one of Kurama's hands finally managed to find its way under Hiei's shirt and under-vest, his fingers touching the bared skin over the small of Hiei's back, Hiei whimpered and his hands tightened into fists, his knuckles pushing into Kurama's shoulders as he tried to push him away. Kurama kept his hand pressed to Hiei's bare back and moved his other hand up to the back of Hiei's neck, holding his head in place as he gently slid his tongue into Hiei's mouth.
Kurama smiled through their kiss when he felt Hiei's fists open and his body go still in sweet surrender to his own desire.
Kurama slid his hand up Hiei's back, his fingers tracing the slight indent of his spine, until his fingertips suddenly hit cloth.
By the time Kurama had recovered from his initial shock at finding bandaging around Hiei's chest, Hiei was on the other side of the cave, frantically tucking his vest and shirt back into his pants.
"When did you injure yourself?" Kurama asked him.
"It's not a wound," Hiei muttered.
"You're wrapped in three layers of bandaging," Kurama pointed out.
"It's not a wound, though it is bloody," Hiei said quietly. "It's part of what I have to talk to you about."
Hiei lifted his head, looking across the cave at Kurama. In that moment, as he looked at Hiei through the hazy blue glow of glow bugs illuminating the cave, Kurama realised that his lips were still tingling from their kiss, he could still feel the silky softness of the skin of Hiei's back on his fingertips and he could still taste him.
"First of all, I never meant for it to go this far," Hiei said, his voice light and gentle. "I wanted to stop it sooner, but I... I think I was just enjoying being with you at first, and then when we found out about the fate of the ice maidens, I was–"
"Stay away from me."
"Wh-what?"
"Stay away from me."
Kurama turned around and marched towards the cave mouth. Hiei called out his name and Kurama heard him stumble awkwardly through the puddle, splashing about ungraciously.
"Please, let me explain!" he begged.
"I said stay away from me!" Kurama roared over his shoulder.
Hiei halted abruptly, and when he saw that Hiei looked more upset than angry, Kurama turned away and stomped on, passing the others around the camp-fire and continuing out of sight. Hiei started to follow him but stopped when Yusuke held up a hand.
"He's pretty pissed off, best do as he says," he said. "Kurama's the most dangerous of us all when he loses his cool, and he's definitely not cool right now."
Hiei spun around and fled back into the cave.
"What was that all about?" Koenma asked, glancing back and forth between Yusuke and Kuwabara.
"I dunno," Yusuke said with a shrug. "It's too damn confusing for me to follow any more."
The next morning, Kurama returned to the campsite so early that the others were still asleep when he got there, including the two SDF officers not on watch at that time. Hiei was nowhere to be seen, but that was a relief to Kurama, who was still not really ready to confront his friend after their confused and confusing interchange the night before.
Kurama poked at the embers of the camp-fire in the hope of revitalising the flames so that they could cook a decent breakfast, but before he could complete his task he was distracted by the sound of Koenma's communication mirror ringing. Koenma, who in his sleep had reverted back to his toddler form, remained fast asleep in the arms of the female SDF officer despite the noise, and so Kurama picked up the device, flipping it open to see Botan looking back out at him, along with what looked like an especially dour ice maiden.
"Kurama?" Botan said, tilting her head in confusion. "Or is that you Lord Koenma, trying to make an adult disguise for yourself that is as pretty as Kurama?"
Kurama smiled.
"You were right the first time, Botan," he told her. "This is Kurama. Koenma is still asleep. Is everything alright? Who's that with you?"
"Oh this is Rui," Botan replied, pointing a thumb over her shoulder at the ice maiden.
"You found Rui?" Kurama echoed in disbelief. "Goodness Botan, that was good work!"
"Oh I see! Now you think I'm a good worker!" Botan moaned. "But I wasn't good enough to be invited on your mission in the first place and not even good enough to be told about what was really going on in spirit world – even though I am a resident of spirit world and you boys aren't!"
"But apparently you are clued up on the situation now."
"Yes, thanks to Hiei."
"Hiei?"
"Yes. He came to living world and we spent a wonderful night together."
Kurama looked up abruptly, scanning over the sleeping bodies around the campfire again, and again he noticed that Hiei was absent.
"Hiei went back to living world and spent the night with you?" he asked, lowering his eyes to the communicator again.
"Yes, didn't you know?" Botan asked.
"I do now…" Kurama replied.
"It was wonderful, Kurama!" Botan gushed. "We made love and then he let me take him back to spirit world – we went on an adventure together!"
"…What…?"
"Which is actually why I'm calling you. I've lost him. Hiei, I mean. We were parted when we encountered a band of demons by the River of Dreams, Hiei seemed very angry with a fox demon there named Fumio, he said something about Yukina, but I don't really understand what it was, but anyway I've lost Hiei and I wondered if he had come looking for you? Also I've found Rui, as you can see, and I'm assuming that Yukina is with you? You know I think it's incredibly irresponsible that you've taken her all this way with you without even–"
"You spent the night with Hiei?"
"Yes, but that was two nigh–"
"And the two of you made love?"
"Yes, we did, and it was marvellous! But now we… Wait, Kurama, are you alright? You look upset. Are you upset? Please don't be. If anything, you should be glad. I've been helping Hiei stay calm, since he's furious at you, Yusuke and Kuwabara right now about–"
Botan's face vanished in a puff of smoke as the communicator cracked and sparked out of usefulness under the pressure of Kurama's grip. He lifted his eyes from the communication mirror – which he was, unwittingly, crushing further and further – glancing briefly around the campsite at the others, who were all starting to awaken, before moving his eyes to the cave he and Hiei had shared their little encounter in the night before.
"Is that my communication mirror?" Koenma asked, sitting up and pointing at the tangled mess of wires and shattered shards of plastic in Kurama's hand.
Kurama threw the remains of the communicator at the prince and started towards the cave, only to stop abruptly as Hiei exited it, stepping out into the daylight and yawning behind one hand, arching his back as he stretched out his muscles. He blinked blearily and combed his fingers through his hair, pulling more of it down over his forehead before finally noticing that Kurama was watching him. He seemed unaffected by the glare Kurama was giving him, which only infuriated the fox demon further.
"Anything you want to say to me?" Kurama growled at him.
Hiei looked surprised and slowly shook his head.
"Are you sure you don't have anything you want to say to me?" Kurama pressed.
Hiei shook his head again and Kurama started towards him again. Yusuke stood up, inadvertently putting himself in Kurama's path.
"Hey, is everything okay?" he asked.
Yusuke yelped in shock and dismay as Kurama roughly shoved him aside and continued past him. Kuwabara caught Yusuke before he fell, steadying him on his feet, and the two turned to watch as Kurama marched straight up to Hiei, stopping uncomfortably close to him and leaning over him.
"Is this a game to you?" he asked.
"I-I don't know what you're talking about," Hiei nervously replied.
"Don't lie to me any more than you already have," Kurama warned him. "What you're doing right now, is it your idea of fun?"
Hiei faltered and tried to step back but found himself pinned against the exterior wall of the cave.
"I tried to tell you," he said quietly. "But you didn't give me the chance."
"Why?" Kurama asked.
"What's going on over there?" Yusuke called over to them. "Isn't it a bit early in the morning to be this pissed off?"
"Why?" Kurama pressed, ignoring Yusuke.
"I wanted to help," Hiei meekly replied. "And I wanted to see if I could. It was silly, I know, but if I hadn't hidden the truth from you, you never would have let me go this far with you!"
"You're damn right I wouldn't have," Kurama said.
"I didn't mean to hurt anyone," Hiei continued. "And I did try to tell you last night, but you didn't let me! This was why I was trying to tell you then, to avoid you getting this angry later! Please don't be angry with me Kurama! And, well, you were the one who kissed me last night."
"What?" Yusuke and Kuwabara said in unison.
"Maybe you don't have feelings or make any sort of emotional connection to physical intimacy, but normal individuals do," Kurama said to Hiei, again ignoring the others. "And I am no different: anyone who thinks they can try to seduce me one minute and then run off and have sex with a woman they knew I liked the next would be invoking my wrath, but for you, someone I thought was a trusted friend, to do it is unthinkable and unforgiveable."
"Wait, what?" Hiei echoed. "What are you talking about?"
"Botan called," Kurama replied.
"Botan?"
"Yes, Botan – don't now try to tell me you can't even remember her name."
"I know who Botan is, of course I do!"
"Yes, you know her a little too well, don't you?"
"I don't understand! What are you talking about?"
"Are you still trying to play with me or are you so emotionally retarded that you don't consider what you did with Botan to be a big deal?"
"I haven't done anything with Botan!"
"Don't lie to me, she told me everything!"
"I don't know… Well… Is this about how she behaved when we stayed at Genkai's temple partway through the mission? When she offered to let me watch her shave her legs, and then she licked my ear and touched me under the table with her foot?"
"You were fooling around with her then too?"
"What do you mean "then too"?"
Kurama moved a hand into his hair, his fingers feeling through the lengths briefly before finding what he sought. He pulled out a medium-sized round seed and dropped it on the ground between Hiei's feet.
"Kurama?" Hiei said, keeping his eyes on the fox demon. "I-I don't understand what you mean about Botan. Is this about the book I took from her?"
"I don't trust you any more," Kurama quietly replied.
"No, please, I don't understand–"
Hiei stopped short as something tightened around his ankles.
"And you're too weak to be of any help in our upcoming battle," Kurama continued. "And you're so slow that all you're really doing now is hindering our progress."
"What are you doing?" Hiei asked, looking down at the plant wrapping itself around the lower halves of his legs.
"I was going to ask you to wait here while we finish this," Kurama replied. "But I don't think I can even trust you to do that. This is to make sure you do stay here until we finish this mission. And, once we have, I'll come back for you, and we can finish it."
"F-finish what?"
"You wanted to fight me, and now, through your selfish, manipulative behaviour, I want to fight you too."
"Kurama!"
Kurama turned and marched off, leaving Hiei swaying about awkwardly behind him as he tried to stay upright. The plant growing from the ground between his feet had completely enveloped his legs from the knees down, and as soon as he had stabilised himself, Hiei doubled over and gripped his hands into the long, leathery leaves, trying to pry them open and weaken them with little flashes of energy.
"You're wasting your time, that's a demon pereskia, it can endure all extremes of temperature," Kurama said without turning around. "I used to keep it for the day I caught an ice maiden, but luckily it's just as effective against the heat of fire as it is against the chill of ice."
"What are you doing?" Yusuke asked, hurrying after Kurama. "You can't just leave him here like that!"
"You promised me you would let me help rescue Miss Rui!" Hiei shouted.
Kurama stopped and looked back over his shoulder at Hiei.
"I know he's been acting seriously weird lately, but I think we should let him come with us," Yusuke whispered to Kurama. "He got this far with us, it seems stupid not to take him the rest of the way."
"Hiei has done something utterly abhorrent," Kurama replied, raising his voice to a sufficient level that Hiei would be able to clearly hear his words. "And now he will have to pay for that. He will wait here and think about what he has done while we finish the mission without him, and afterwards I am going to do to him physically what he has done to me mentally and emotionally."
Yusuke opened his mouth to try to reason with Kurama again, but Kurama turned abruptly and took off again. Yusuke glanced back and forth between Kurama's retreating form and Hiei before looking over at Kuwabara and shrugging. He then ran off after Kurama, and, after only a brief pause, Kuwabara followed him.
"You three go on ahead," Koenma said to the SDF officers around him. "I need a moment to change into a more suitable body."
The soldiers nodded and, after one of them had stamped out the glowing remains of the camp-fire, they moved on. After a few wriggles, grunts and stretches Koenma had changed into his adult form. He paused where he stood, watching the others walk away, only moving again once he was confident that they were out of earshot.
"It's probably for the best that you wait here for us," he said, turning around to face Hiei.
"Huh, you don't know what you're talking about!" Hiei moodily replied. "You may look different like that, but on the inside you are still a child!"
Koenma's eyebrows shot up.
"Well that's a little hypocritical, coming from you," he said flatly. "I was going to offer you help – mainly in the form of psychological counselling, which you will undoubtedly need after what you've been through lately – but if you're going to insist on remaining in-character, you can forget it."
Koenma turned his back on Hiei.
"And by the way, it's pronounced "hn"," he added, before sprinting off after the others.
"I've been helping Hiei stay calm, since he's furious at you, Yusuke and Kuwabara right now about the fact the you're all too stupid to realise that Yukina is – hello? Kurama? Are you still there?"
Botan shook her communication mirror before giving it an experimental slap.
"Oh dear, we've been cut off!" she concluded, snapping the mirror shut.
"What shall we do now?" Rui asked. "I'm so worried about Yukina. It's all my fault that she did what she did!"
Botan pouted and quirked an eyebrow.
"Oh my, Rui!" she said. "You ice maidens really are a tragically tortured race, aren't you? Always wallowing in misery and blaming yourselves for everything that goes wrong. You should try smiling some more and thinking happy thoughts."
"It's difficult to think positively under such bleak circumstances as these," Rui solemnly replied.
"You see, there you go again!" Botan snapped. "And I can give you a fantastic reason to be cheerful: if no-one will help us, we will just have to go on our very own little adventure!"
"Adventure? I don't know about that."
Rui lowered her head, clasping her hands by her chest as though she was saying a prayer.
"I don't have the heart for such endeavours, I lack the energy and enthusiasm a lady like you has, Miss Botan," she said.
"Nonsense!" Botan replied.
Rui lifted her head again and took a breath to answer Botan, but her face twisted before the words left her mouth, her eyes flicking over Botan curiously.
"Did you just change your clothes?" she asked quietly.
"Yes, yes I did," Botan replied, nodding her head sagely. "I was wearing my "team manager" clothes, because I thought we could join the boys on their adventure, but now that we're having an adventure of our own, I've had to change into my "team leader" clothes."
"What's the difference?" Rui asked.
"Well in the first instance, I would have been the team manager, managing the activities of the other members of the team," Botan explained. "But in this instance, I am leading the activities and participating in them directly myself as needed."
"I-I meant what's the difference between the two outfits? And why was the change necessary?"
"My last outfit was formal and managerial, and this one is powerful and leading."
"Leading..."
"Yes. With this outfit on, I am like Miss Leading!"
"Misleading, yes, I understand now."
"You do?"
Rui nodded.
"Oh good!" Botan said.
"Now I understand completely why Yukina has done what she has," Rui said quietly. "With a bold, persuasive friend like you acting as though clothes can alter your personality and abilities, it was little wonder that Yukina thought she could do the same."
"That's right, now let's go!" Botan said, summoning her oar with a smile.
"Did you even hear what I said?" Rui asked.
"Of course I did! You said you understand that bold clothing can persuade others of your abilities!"
Rui sighed.
"Let's go," she said, sitting onto Botan's oar.
"Finally!" Yusuke said, rolling his eyes as he stopped alongside Kurama.
Kurama held up a hand to stop and silence him, pointing a finger forwards once he had caught Yusuke's attention. Ahead of them, a collection of demons were standing in a line facing them, most of them aiming long-range weapons towards where Kurama and Yusuke were standing.
"Let's get them!" Yusuke said, charging up his finger.
"They have the captain of the SDF with them!" Kurama hissed, grabbing Yusuke's arm and holding him back as he tried to advance.
"I know," Yusuke said, shrugging disinterestedly. "But he owes me one, so let's go."
"Yusuke!" Koenma snapped, grabbing the back of Yusuke's shirt to hold him back. "Don't even think about it!"
"Koenma Sir, you should stay back," one of the SDF officers advised him.
"Right," he agreed
He moved to stand behind the one remaining female officer, whose face fell as he slid his hands around her waist.
"I'm not answerable to you, and I could kill you with one easy flick of my wrist," she warned him.
"I love powerful women," he replied, grinning at her as she glared back over her shoulder at him.
"Don't come any closer, or your soldier gets it!" one of the demons warned.
"Are you sure you need nine Super Dorky Freaks, Koenma?" Yusuke asked, pointing his finger at the bandits. "I could take them all out with one blast..."
"No, Urameshi!" Kuwabara said, pushing down Yusuke's arm. "We do this right. This is a sacred place, we got this far obeying the rules here, only a total asshole would change that now."
"Your awkward friend is right," one of the demons standing next to the slumped and unconscious SDF captain said. "We're in control here, and that's not about to change. If you try anything reckless, we kill the soldier, understa–"
A collective gasp filled the air as everyone noticed the bloody end of a sword sticking out of the demon's mouth. As the blade sunk back into his mouth, he fell lifelessly to the ground and his remaining team-mates all turned their weapons towards Captain Ootake: though none of them dealt him the fatal blow that removed his head.
"What the–?" Yusuke began, stopping as the decapitated head hit the ground and both the head and body changed into that of a chameleon demon.
"It was a trap," Kurama said quietly.
"I guess he saw through it with his jagan eye," Kuwabara added, as Hiei proceeded to cut down two more of the bandits.
"He looks really good!" Yusuke said, turning to the others."Oh, Kurama, I don't mean it like that, you know," he hurriedly added as he noticed the angered look on Kurama's face. "I meant he just appeared out of nowhere, and he's attacking fast and he even looks stronger. I guess maybe he finally got over the virus, right?"
Kurama, who had not taken his eyes off of Hiei since his appearance, did not respond, though Kuwabara muttered in agreement with Yusuke. Although he said nothing however, Kurama could not help but agree with Yusuke: Hiei did look remarkably well. His body looked almost back to full strength, and he was fighting off his enemies so fast, it was difficult to see exactly what he was doing. Two demons caught one of his arms each and a third charged at him, but Hiei head-butted the charging demon and then jumped up from the ground, kicking his feet out at either side of him to kick the two demons holding him off. He landed gracefully on his feet and, in a flash of light, slashed his way through the remaining demons. He looked about the mess he had created before spitting, shaking the excess blood from his sword and then storing it. Yusuke and Kuwabara had already started running towards him, and Kurama followed at a slower pace, his eyes never leaving Hiei.
"Alright, Hiei!" Yusuke said, holding up one hand."Back on form! Put it there!"
Hiei punched Yusuke square in the mouth, sending him staggering back a few steps.
"What the hell was that for?" Yusuke yelped as he touched a hand to his lips and drew it back to reveal blood mixed in with saliva.
"What do you think it was for?" Hiei responded in a flat voice. "It was for being a blind fool and as a warning: if you ever molest or lewdly admire any part of Yukina or expose yourself to her ever again, I will kill you, do you understand that?"
"…No?" Yusuke faintly replied. "What the hell are you talking about?"
"Hn, idiot!" Hiei scoffed before starting towards Kurama, who was still approaching them.
Kuwabara leapt into Hiei's path, holding his arms out at his sides.
"Hey, fighting us isn't gonna solve anything, shorty!" Kuwabara warned.
Hiei stopped and glared up at Kuwabara in a way Kuwabara had not seen him do for so long that he had almost forgotten how intimidating it could be to be stared up at by someone eighteen inches shorter than him.
"When you are around Yukina, I expect you to keep your dick in your pants, understand?" Hiei growled.
"But I already told you it isn't like that between me and Yukina!" Kuwabara wailed.
"If you ever emit any form of bodily waste in the presence of Yukina ever again, I will murder you," Hiei snarled. "I don't care how badly you need to take a piss, how flatulent you feel or how hungover you are, you better damn well hold it in, understand?"
"…No?" Kuwabara squeaked.
"Hiei," Kurama said, stepping around Kuwabara to confront Hiei directly. "What are you doing here?"
"Looking for you," Hiei replied."Where is she?"
Kurama narrowed his eyes angrily.
"The last I heard, she spent the night with you," he replied.
"That's funny, because I've been watching you through my jagan eye, and it looked like she spent the night with you!"
"She isn't with me now, so obviously she didn't spend the night with me!"
"And she isn't with me, so clearly she didn't spend the night with me!"
"That proves nothing in your case, I've never known you spend the following morning with a woman you passed the night with."
"Don't lecture me, fox! I saw what you did to her! I saw everything! And I would have been here much sooner if the stupid River of Dreams hadn't carried me back to the wrong end of spirit world! I had to carry that bumbling blue ogre on my back all the way here in order to get past those stupid gates!"
"So you admit that you crossed spirit world again last night?"
"I never denied it in the first place!"
"And you slept with Botan?"
"What? Yes I did, but I don't see what that has to do with any of this!"
Kurama closed the gap between himself and Hiei, leaning over the fire demon.
"Did she help you escape?" he asked.
"What?" Hiei echoed.
"Did she free you?" Kurama pressed. "I left you tied up in the demon pereskia, it's resistant to extremes of temperature and grows two new leaves for every one cut from it: how did you manage to escape?"
"Tied up?" Hiei repeated. "Tied up? Tied up!"
"Yes Hiei, tied up far too tightly to escape without third party assistance."
"Is that the way you like it?"
"Yes, it is."
"You sick bastard! I always knew you'd be domineering with a lover, but I didn't think you'd sink so low as to resort to cheap bondage tricks to get your own way!"
"You like to be tied up? That turns you on?"
"No, but apparently it works for you!"
Hiei and Kurama both fell silent, breathing heavily, glaring into each other's eyes angrily, their bodies less than an inch apart.
"Being this close to you last night was actually an enjoyable and enticing experience for me," Kurama said quietly. "But in the harsh light of day, with your filthy lies exposed, I'm nothing but disgusted by you!"
"Oh good," Hiei replied. "Because I thought you thought you kissed me last night!"
"I wouldn't kiss you, you repulse me!" Kurama spat back, ignoring the way Yusuke and Kuwabara were making awkward noises and pretending to look away.
"Well then you must know what needs to be done next," Hiei said.
"We need to find Fumio and remove him from this realm," Kurama replied.
"That can wait. I've told you often enough and so I know you understand what needs to be done: if you really do want her, you have to prove to me that you're worthy. If you can beat me in a fight, I'll concede to give my consent. If you lose, I get to erase your entire memory of this mission."
"You still think you can beat me in a fight, you arrogant son of a bitch?"
"I know I can. And don't call my mother a bitch – didn't you know that ice maidens are identical to their mothers?"
"…What does that have to do with anything?"
"Stop stalling, fox!"
Hiei shoved Kurama back a step and Kurama pushed him back. Hiei snarled and then speared Kurama to the ground, the two rolling over each other.
"Wow, that's usually our thing, scrapping at an inappropriate time," Kuwabara said.
"Yeah…" Yusuke said. "Do you think it's serious or a lover's tiff?"
"I dunno…" Kuwabara replied. "It's kinda hard to tell."
"Do you think we should do something or just let them slug it out?" Yusuke asked.
"If it's a lover's tiff, we shouldn't interfere."
"Pfft, like you're the expert just because you got three girls to sleep with you."
"Well you're hardly an expert, virgin!"
"Oh yeah?"
Yusuke turned to Kuwabara and the two exchanged angered glares before jumping at each other and falling to the ground in a tussle as energetic – though not as violent – as the one ensuing between Hiei and Kurama.
"Boys, boys, boys!" an admonishing voice shouted down at them.
All four ignored the intrusion and continued fighting. Yusuke and Kuwabara stopped first as an oar was wedged between them and pried them apart. They reluctantly separated and Koenma pulled Yusuke to his feet as Rui helped Kuwabara up, smiling shyly at him as he gave her a worried look. Botan turned her attention to Hiei and Kurama, trying first to force her oar between them before resorting to smacking them both with it.
"Stop it!" she cried. "This isn't helping anyone!"
Yusuke and Kuwabara moved over and between the three of them they managed to separate the fox demon and the fire demon, bringing them both to their feet and holding them a good ten feet away from each other to avoid them restarting their brawl. Both had blood smeared over their noses and mouths, both were breathing heavily and both had tears in their clothing.
"Now wasn't that just silly?" Botan asked, glancing back and forth between them both.
"The fox started it!" Hiei snapped, trying to shrug off Yusuke's hold.
"You started it with your inconsistent and despicable behaviour," Kurama shot back, wriggling slightly in Kuwabara's hold.
"Boys, please!" Botan shouted. "Captain Ootake is still being held prisoner! And… Where's Yukina?"
"So end this for us, Botan," Kurama said to her. "Did you, or did you not, spend the night with Hiei?"
"I did, yes," Botan replied.
Kurama glared at Hiei, who simply shrugged in reply.
"You don't even care," Kurama said bitterly.
"Are you still angry that I spent the night with Hiei?" Botan asked him.
"I'm not angry with you, I'm angry with Hiei," he replied.
"But you shouldn't be!" she said. "We both wanted to be together!"
"That doesn't change anything," Kurama said.
"Wait!" Koenma said, jumping into the middle of the group. "I think I can fix this all very quickly. Botan, you and Hiei signed a SCD34124, a form authorising a ferry girl to have a relationship with a demon. That contract was just for the two of you: if you want to have a three-way with Kurama, I need signatures from all three of you on a SCD196156."
"You have a form in spirit world for threesomes?" Yusuke asked.
"Hey you guys, I've had a thought," Kuwabara began.
"And whilst that is a first, nobody cares to hear it," Hiei spat.
"Shut-up, Hiei!" Kuwabara snapped. "So my thought was this: Kurama, if you cared about Botan, you would be mad at her for going with Hiei, but you're not, you're just mad at Hiei."
"Hiei was supposed to be my friend," Kurama replied. "I trusted him and he betrayed me."
"But Botan sort of messed you about too," Kuwabara pointed out. "I think maybe you care more about losing Hiei than losing Botan."
Kurama shook his head, but his face slowly changed.
"That's just…" he began. "I never… How absurd. When I was pursuing Botan Hiei got jealous because he wanted me, and now that Hiei is pursuing Botan, I'm jealous because I want Hiei…"
Kurama smiled humourlessly.
"I forfeit this fight, Hiei," he said. "Go ahead and wipe my memories of this mission. You would be doing us both a favour."
"Wait!" Botan said, stepping between them and holding a hand up in front of each of them. "Are you both forgetting something here?"
"No," Hiei said. "Though I feel a little queasy knowing that he thought it was me he was kissing last night. I wasn't sure if he knew or not then."
"What?" Kurama echoed.
"And I think he's a stupid bastard if he can't tell the difference," Hiei continued. "I think they're all stupid bastards."
"I could tell the difference, Hiei," Botan said, winking at him.
"Really?" Hiei asked, as Botan nodded cheerfully. "Then why did you molest her with your foot at the breakfast table?"
"Wait, what?" Yusuke echoed.
"Let's try to keep this in perspective," Botan said. "Captain Ootake is still in danger, and goodness knows where Yukina is."
"She's still where we left her," Koenma said quietly.
Fumio stopped, his ears twitching and a rush of excitement passing through him. He could hear the short, shallow breathing of a demon on the point of blind panic: it was the same, pathetic little noises an ice maiden who had just been cornered by a fox demon made. He moved onwards, smiling to himself as he did so. There was a common-held belief that the only emotion an ice maiden ever clearly expressed was fear, and that it looked all the more intense and dramatic on their ordinarily lifeless faces, and Fumio had already proved to himself once that it was true.
He rounded a corner and finally sighted the source of the sound: a short figure dressed in baggy black pants, a black shirt and with bandaged arms. Fumio edged closer before silently crouching down and touching a hand to the ground, feeding his demon energy into the roots of the demon pereskia. He was rewarded with a startled little gasp as the leaves began to wind their way further up the legs of the plant's victim, soon reaching above the hips and snapping out to grab the wrists, holding them out slightly from the body. The leaves reached all the way up to the victim's throat, one long, thin leaf wrapping around the pale, slender neck and pulling just tight enough to induce a look of fear without being dangerously fatal.
"Remember me?" Fumio asked as he stood up again.
He moved himself around to stand directly in front of the demon pereskia's victim, smiling as red eyes shrank in panic at the sight of him.
"You've caused me a lot of trouble lately, little one," Fumio continued. "But I'm a fair man, so I'm going to allow you the opportunity to redeem yourself: I will remove this plant from you shortly, and you will have two choices. Pick one and I will be lenient. Pick the other and I won't hold back. Do you understand?"
"N-no."
"Then let me tell you what your choices will be: you can willingly come with to King Enma's palace, and use your virtuous powers to open the doors to his throne room so that I can take what I need from his private collection, and then afterwards you will return to demon world with me, remove your clothes and let me have you."
"I-I can't do that!"
"Then you choose the other option: I drag you to King Enma's palace by your badly dyed hair, I force you to use your purity to open the doors to his throne room so that I can take what I need from his private collection, and then afterwards I drag you back to demon world with me, tear off your clothes, have you, and then, if you're very lucky, I'll kill you."
"Y-you don't know what you're talking about."
"Don't I?"
Fumio retrieved the Psychic Spyglass from his hair, holding it in a way that allowed them both to clearly see what it was.
"Are you familiar with this device?" he asked.
"N-no."
"It's a spirit world device. I'm not sure what the correct name for it is, but it certainly affords me a very interesting view of you."
Fumio moved the glass over one eye.
"I see slender, shapely legs," he said as he dragged his eyes up the demon before him. "I see curved hips and waist, I see thin, weak arms and shoulders, and I see a glaring collection of talismans over your forehead and your chest – written in a language I don't recognise, but clearly they're quite powerful, because with them in place, you've managed to block out all psychic connections to your mind and all detections of your abilities, power and demon energy signal."
Fumio lowered the Psychic Spyglass and closed his fist around it.
"But then again, you'd need to use such powerful talismans, wouldn't you?" he asked. "They were a very necessary part of your disguise in order to fool those idiots you travelled with into thinking that you were your brother Hiei, isn't that right, Yukina?"
Next Chapter: Koenma, Botan and Hiei explain Yukina's ruse to Yusuke, Kuwabara and Kurama, who all have difficulty accepting the reality of it, though each for different reasons. Meanwhile, when she realises she can't out-run, out-wit or out-battle Fumio, Yukina realises she has only one option left: she has to out-fox him (double entendre fully intended). Chapter 29 – Twelfth Night
A/N: "Twelfth Night" is a play by William Shakespeare, and was the inspiration for this fic. For anyone who doesn't know, it is about a girl who, when she believes her twin brother to be dead, disguises herself as a man and lives the life her brother ought to have. It is a tale about confusion of gender, romance and identity, and in the case of this fic, Hiei was Sebastian, Botan was Olivia, Kurama was Orsino and Yukina was, of course, Viola/Cesario. And, to a lesser extent, Yusuke was Malvolio and Kuwabara was Feste – but really only in the sense that Yusuke was exposed as a boasting fraud and Kuwabara was a music-loving idiot hiding his achievements behind modesty.
This fic is laden with quotes from the original play, place names from the original play and of course, all chapters (except one) have been titled using the same initials as the title of the play.
"Space Core Directive 196156: Any officer caught sniffing the saddle of the exercise bicycle in the women's gym will be discharged without trial."