Even

"Even, look. I'm doing my best here but if you don't start putting in the work, you won't be graduating with the rest of your class."

Even stares at his counselor, not wanting to give in. He doesn't plan on graduating anyway. When he tells her as much, she frowns at him. "What about film school? You were pretty keen on it in your first year. Have you changed your mind?"

"I have a farm." It's as much of an answer as she's going to get.

Eventually, the counselor throws her hands up and passes him a list of peer tutors. He's certain the world is playing a cruel joke on him, when the only available student is Isak Valtersen.

Fuck me.

If Even weren't a dramatic fucker, he'd see this as a good thing. If there's one thing Valtersen excels at, it's school. He's annoyingly perfect at everything, constantly at the top of the class. Regardless, there's a tutoring schedule in his backpack that he wants to burn, but Mari saw it before he had the chance, and now he's sitting at the Valtersen's kitchen table, waiting for the one person he'd rather not think about.

Even's got next to nothing on his paper when the door opens. He watches Valtersen stalk through the house, dumping his stuff in their shared room, before breezing behind him and heading straight to the fridge.

A plate with a couple slices of pizza on it clatters in front of him. Valtersen looks about as pleased as Even feels.

"So, what first?"

It's awkward. It's really awkward, and Even only has himself to blame. Well, no, Valtersen isn't innocent either, but while he'd never admit it, this thing between them started because of Even. And now they're stuck in this weird limbo where neither of them really do anything, but stare. Even's face is a cool, vacant mask, but his thoughts are a swirl of shame and unwanted desire. It's not easy to ignore how soft his skin felt under his fingers. Or how vivid those green eyes are up close.

Even's jaw is clenched tight and his fingernails are digging into his palms. He almost doesn't notice Valtersen until the boy is gently shaking his arm.

"Even?" He recoils suddenly. "Hey, sorry." Valtersen backs up, palms raised. "Look, I get that you don't want to work with me. I can talk to the other tutors and see if anyone is willing to switch with me, if you'd like." Even's never seen his face so earnest or unguarded before.

"Uh, it's ok, I guess." He watches Valtersen nod, and pull up the chair next to him with wary eyes.

"So let's start with English, yeah?" Even says nothing as the other boy pulls out his binder. He's not nearly as offended as he should be when Isak grimaces at the partially done assignments.

Even's become very good at lying. To his mamma, his teachers. Himself. He can tell the world that he's alright. Tell himself that Markus is his real dad, and that when he goes to bed with bruises, it's just discipline. He's a strict man. It doesn't mean he doesn't love him. He's just looking out for him. Doesn't want his only son to be like that. And he gets it. He tells himself he isn't like that. And it almost works.

He's an expert at denying what motivated his hate for Valtersen. A master at ignoring those traitorous thoughts about the damn boy. That damn boy, who got so far under his skin, Even wasn't sure where he ended and Isak began. Who, despite their strange, violent history, managed to be sweet and nice and nothing like Even deserved at all.

It's confusing the shit out of him. There's a stark difference between the grimace and narrowed eyes he'd come to associate with Valtersen, and the soft spoken, patient boy with the shy smile that he met today.

Hating someone is heavy. It weighs on you in ways that you don't realize until it's not really there anymore. Even wants so desperately to hate him, wants to feel that fire when he's close, but it's not there. No matter how hard he searches, all he's left with is exhaustion, sagging his body with it.

He hasn't been to the lake in a while. He's yearning for it. Needs the water to flow through him, to clean out the spaces. Wash out Isak from his thoughts.

"Nei, mamma. Yeah, I'm fine. I'm going to do my homework in a bit. No, you don't need to send him to check on me. They're treating me well. Seriously, just focus on recovering, ok? You get better and then we can take that trip to Paris like you've always wanted." Even can't help the grin that spreads across his face when his mamma laughs, and for a minute he can forget where he is.

But life isn't like that for people like Even. So of course, Valtersen walks into the room just then. Even turns, facing the open window instead.

"Me too, mamma. Take care." He tosses the phone on his 'bed' and leans over the window sill. The cool breeze is almost enough to make Even forget about the other boy in the room, but there's something about Isak Valtersen that's wormed its way under his skin, festering there, buzzing whenever he's close.

"How is-how's your mom doing?" His voice is soft and weak and Even really wishes they would go back to ignoring each other.

"It's none of your fucking business, Valtersen." He's not sure why he's being so aggressive. Something between them had changed tonight, but old habits die hard, and this habit clings to Even like a film over his skin.

"You should probably use my name, you know. Like I know that you hate me or whatever, but there are three other Valtersens. That's got to be confusing as shit in your head."

"I'm good."

"I don't have to share my room with you, you know." Even snorts.

"Yeah you do, though. Mari wouldn't let you kick me out." Actually, Even has no clue what Mari would do. Isak's her son and no matter how well they get along, he's going to be more important to her.

"Can I ask you one more question?"

"Will you shut the fuck up if you do?"

"Yeah." And here it its. The why do you hate me so much or what did I do? Even doesn't have an answer. Not one that makes sense, anyway. Fuck, he doesn't even know if he hates him anymore. "Why'd you pretend not to know me? I just don't get it."

He lets out a long breath. This fucking kid is so weird. "It's easier than telling your mom we don't like each other."

"But we don't like each other. And now we have to act like we're getting to know each other."

"I said one question."

"Right. Sorry."

Even lies down on his mattress on the floor and checks his phone.

Sonja

Need u

We can stay just friends

He turns it off and flips over onto his stomach. Fuck all of this.

"Hey, Even?" He grunts, a thousand and three percent done with this night. "I hope your mom gets better."

"Hey Isak?"

"Yeah?"

"Go to sleep, cocksucker." He smiles into his pillow a little when Isak chuckles.

"Night, Even."