A/N I'm not going to say too much about this chapter, but writing it was really hard. I put my blood, sweat and tears into it and in the end this is what came out of it.
As usual, everything you recognize belongs to JK Rowling, comments make me smile, and huge thank you to Alisa who's patiently beta read every chapter to date 3 And gigantic thank you to you who read and enjoy my story.
"I don't understand why I need to come," Severus complained, bitter as ever at the prospect of the Slug club.
"Because otherwise I'll be alone all night," Lily repeated, for what felt like the millionth time.
"No you won't. Slughorn is all over you. 'Lily! There is someone you should meet.' 'I have these contacts in the ministry.' 'This is someone not too significant who I pretend is a big deal.'"
"That's rubbish, Sev," she protested.
"And all of your other friends are there, too."
"Alice is, but-"
"But you've fallen out with her." Severus filled in.
That wasn't at all what Lily had intended to say, but Severus' mood seemed to have lightened and she wasn't about to ruin that.
"Yeah," Lily sighed.
"I can't say I'm surprised," Severus said. "I never liked her."
Normally, she would've asked why, but she let it slip. She was beginning to hope this night might be like it used to, back in the days when it had been her and Severus against the world.
"Do you think we'll get that thing for dessert again? The one we got last time. I really liked it."
Lily found herself talking about the first thing that came to mind. She hadn't had time to eat lunch, so she was ravenous.
Severus shrugged. "It was a bit dry, don't you think?"
"It was ice cream cake." Lily laughed. "How can it be dry?"
"Oh, I was talking about the cake we got the week before that. The lemon one."
"The lemon one…" Lily tried to recall it from her memory. "Oh yeah, that one was dry." She laughed again and Severus joined in. It all felt like it was going the right way.
"Lily, so very nice to see you." Slughorn hurried over and took Lily's hand in his, shaking it. "So glad you could make it, so glad indeed."
"Thank you Professor, it's nice seeing you too."
"And Severus is here as well! Terrific day this turns out to be after all."
Lily glanced at Severus. "Told you," she mouthed. He rolled his eyes.
"Please do go and have a drink." Slughorn nodded towards the drink table. "And we'll sit down
in about ten minutes."
"He's a nutter, as usual," Severus whispered as Slughorn turned to greet Louise Davis as she
entered.
"Don't say that, Sev," Lily sighed, walking over and taking a glass with yellow, sparkly liquid in it. "He's a great wizard." She sipped the drink.
"Hey, Lily." Alice hurried over to her and Lily tried her hardest to ignore the look Severus gave
her. "You have to help me," she said, then, at Lily's confused look, she glanced at Severus before mouthing, "Frank is here." She nodded her head towards him, as if proving her case.
"I know sweetie, he's been to every supper since forever."
"I know. But it's weird now."
"Why?"
"Because of what happened," Alice whispered.
Looking apologetically at Severus, Lily grabbed Alice's arm and dragged her into the corner.
"What happened?" she demanded.
"Nothing. Forget I ever said something." Alice attempted to walk away, but Lily held her back.
"Alice."
"Okay, fine…last week I was late for class, so I was running down the stairs, those narrow ones on the fifth floor you know."
Lily nodded.
"I was in such a hurry I didn't really look where I was going. So, just when I'm at the end of the stairs, I find I'm face to face with Frank," she hesitated. "Of course, we were kind of stuck, because it was so narrow we couldn't get past each other, so for a while we just stood there like idiots, staring at each other. Then, all of a sudden he tells me to come closer and when I do he pick me up."
"You're kidding!" Lily exclaimed, not knowing what to feel.
"No, I'm not." Alice sighed. "However, he turned around and put me down, so that we could
keep going our separate ways."
"And?"
"And I told him, very forcefully, that I don't like being picked up and that just because I'm small
doesn't mean he can do whatever he likes with me."
"No, Alice!" Lily sighed.
"I know." Alice hid her face in her hands. "He looked so ashamed and he didn't say anything. So
I just kind of slipped away, and we haven't talked since."
"So now…"
"...it's really weird," Alice finished. "But you know, I didn't even mind him picking me up. I just
got so surprised and-"
"Calm down, Al."
"What should I do?"
"Honestly?"
"Honestly."
"I think you should sit next to him at dinner-"
"No, Lily! I can't do that. I humiliated myself, and him. I can't just sit down next to him and start
talking like everything's fine."
"-then, you apologise. You say you hadn't slept much and that you overreacted. You might even slip in that part about how you kinda liked it."
"I didn't say that!"
"Do you deny it?"
"Fine," Alice sighed.
She found Severus in the exact spot she'd left him.
"I thought you'd fallen out," he said, looking almost hurt.
"We had," Lily lied. Blimey, she had to stop doing that. "But she needed help and we made up."
"Really?"
"Why're you so jealous, Sev?" Lily teased. "Afraid she'll steal me away from you?"
Severus looked down.
"It's just…you never spend time with me anymore," he said sullenly.
"I do," Lily exclaimed, going into defense mode.
"When was the last time?" he challenged.
"That time when…" Lily stopped, not remembering when she had last spent time with the bloke
she called her best friend. "I'm sorry, Sev," she finished.
"Don't be. You have a life."
"No, I really am," she assured. "I've been a git, but you've stayed with me. I promise, it's just gonna be the two of us tonight."
"No more friends crisis?"
"No more friends crisis," Lily promised. "Now come on, we'll want to get the good seats." She dragged him across the room to the set table with thirty or so chairs around it. The table had already started filling with students. Lily took a seat to the right of Gwenog Jones and Severus sat down beside her.
"I can't believe how good this is!" Severus said, having already eaten half of his meal. It was the most positive Lily had seen him since she couldn't remember when.
"Yeah, it's really amazing," Lily agreed.
"So, what do you think of the career counselling?" he asked, swallowing another bite.
"I don't know. It's good I guess, it'll give us some perspective on what we can do after school.
Although I guess it won't be much help for me."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because I'm Muggleborn. No one wants to hire us these days."
"That's not true."
"It is. Would you hire me?"
"Of course, Lil. You're the most gifted witch there is around, why wouldn't I-"
"I'm not talking about me specifically, I'm talking about Muggleborns in general." Lily felt her
cheeks flush.
"Can we just change the subject?" Severus asked.
"Yes, please." Lily was thankful he had suggested it, and wanted to punch herself. She knew
"blood status" was on the ever-growing list of topics that were off limits in their conversations, why would she bring the discussion to it?
"So I saw this bloke in Hogsmeade, just outside Three Broomsticks. He was wearing one of those weird muggle hats, what are they called? Those large ones, colourful. The Mexicans wear them."
"Sombrero?" Lily suggested.
"Yeah, he was wearing a sonbrebo and it got me thinking about that time when we walked around town in the middle of summer in those hats you dad brought home from Russia."
"Oh yeah, that was fun." Lily smiled, not knowing if it was because of the memory or because Severus was making an effort to keep a normal conversation. "I thought
Petunia would explode." It was the first time in years Lily had been able to laugh about her sister's ridiculous behaviour.
"We had a lot of fun back then," Severus said.
"We did," Lily agreed, still smiling.
"What I'm saying is…I'm sorry. I overreacted." Alice finished her speech. "And we've been…friends lately. I wouldn't wanna lose that because of my lack of sleep."
Frank looked at her and grinned.
"What are you doing?" Alice asked. "Merlin, do I have something between my teeth?" Alice raised her hand to cover her mouth.
"No, your teeth are fine, more than fine really. It's just funny, because I've been meaning to apologise to you."
"What…why?"
"Because I felt bad. I should have known you wouldn't like it."
"It wasn't that I didn't like it, really. You caught me by surprise, and I had a bad day."
"Okay…" He picked at his food.
"Really."
"Are you sure?" Frank bit his bottom lip.
"Positive." Alice laughed. "Stop worrying."
"Okay." Frank smiled too.
Dessert had just been set on the table when the door slammed open and Professor McGonagall barged in, panting.
"Horace. Albus wants so see everyone in the Great Hall."
"But Minerva, can't it wait? I'm in the middle of something."
"No, Horace," McGonagall sighed. "It can't."
"Okay, students. We will have to finish this some other time." Slughorn's tone was light and cheerful, which only increased the tension in the air. Clearly, Alice had not been the only one to notice the urgency and worry in McGonagall's voice. Slughorn rose with a sigh and the students followed. McGonagall hurried first and Slughorn tried his best to follow in the same pace.
Lily caught up with them, Snape following behind her.
"What's happening?" she whispered.
Alice shrugged. "I know everything you do."
"You don't think there's been an attack, do you?"
Lily's words sent a shiver up Alice's spine.
They passed others, both teachers and students, on their way to wherever they were going.
Everyone was silent. The echoing footsteps, the pressed silence and the worried facial expressions of every teacher who passed, who unsettled her.
The Entrance Hall was packed with students to an extent Alice had never seen before, not even before the start-of-term feast. McGonagall instructed them to wait there, before she and Slughorn disappeared through a door.
Alice grabbed Lily's arm and they set off to find Marlene and Mary. Whispers and shushed conversations followed them through the crowds, rumours already spreading. They found Mary and Marlene, accompanied by Ellie, who was holding Marlene's hand tight. Frank had disappeared into the crowds of people, as had Snape.
"Do you know what's happening?" Marlene asked them. She wasn't looking at Mary, but the fact that the two of them were even standing together was an improvement.
"Not a clue." Lily shrugged. "What do you know?"
"McGonagall came to the common room and told us Dumbledore wanted to speak to everyone and that we should go to the Entrance Hall," Mary said.
"So what do you think?" Lily asked.
"Hopefully he wants to tell us the Ministry of Magic has decided everyone should get free candy," Marlene sighed. "But I've got a feeling that won't be it."
The Great Hall doors opened and Filch started ushering the students into the hall. It looked like it usually did, except for the podium in front of the staff table. Alice sat down in between Mary and
Lily at the Gryffindor table. Across the table sat Marlene, who still had Ellie by her side despite
Filch telling them to sit at their house tables. No one seemed to be speaking, but there was still a buzzing coming from the crowd.
Dumbledore appeared from the door on the side of the staff table and walked up to the podium. The other teachers followed and took their seats at the staff table. The buzzing stopped before he'd even made an attempt at hushing it, and every head in the hall turned to him.
"You must be wondering why I've gathered you at this hour," Dumbledore began. "And I will get right to it." He stopped and hesitated. "The Minister for Magic has just informed me of an attack in London. An attack that the so called Death Eaters are thought to be behind."
It was the quietest the student body had ever been. There were no gasps, no screams and no hushed voices as people started discussing the news.
"The Aurors have come across at least half a dozen deceased witches and wizards upon searching the building," Dumbledore continued, having paused to wait out the lack of reactions.
"I expect everyone to be respectful in the days approaching, since some students will likely be having a hard time. Because of this the teachers and I have made a collective decision that there will be no classes tomorrow," he finished. "There is not much more to say for now. Prefects, I expect you to lead the younger students back to the common room and make sure they are as comfortable as possible. Your head of houses will come by the common room later tonight."
No one moved to begin with. Then Sebastian Conoway, the Head Boy, stood and started arranging Ravenclaw first and second years in lines. Other prefects followed his example and soon the hall was in motion again. It was relieving in a way, that things worked as normal, yet it was strange how they could after what had just happened. It wasn't the first time there had been a Death Eater attack, not by a long shot, but never before had Dumbledore gathered them in the Great Hall outside of mealtimes. It pointed to something larger, something they hadn't been told.
Lily had disappeared to gather the Gryffindor students, and across the table Marlene was talking to Ellie in a hushed voice; Alice could only make out parts of the conversation.
"…could go to…worried."
"No…I won't…my friends."
"Ellie…please."
"…leaving." Ellie rose from the bench and hurried over to the Hufflepuff table where she flung
her arm around the middle of a brown haired girl and whispered something in her ear.
"I guess it's good," Marlene sighed. Her face was whitening and she had sweat pearls in her hairline. "That she isn't affected, I mean."
Alice nodded. Others were starting to leave around them and Alice, Marlene and Mary were ones of the few left sitting.
"We should leave too." Alice figured she needed to take some initiative because, clearly, the others weren't.
"I guess," Mary sighed, standing. Marlene stood too and, going over to Alice, she linked her arm through Alice's. Mary came over too and took Alice's other arm around hers.
As they made their way up the main stairs and the pressed silence had settled over the group of Ravenclaws and Gryffindors like a thick comforter, once more. Alice couldn't believe that only half an hour ago she had been sitting at the table in Slughorn's office, digging into a delicious piece of strawberry cake.
"You alright mate?" Peter asked, sitting down next to Sirius on the bed.
Sirius shrugged. Of course he wasn't alright, no one was, but he was coping.
"Yeah, just thinking."
"You'd say if something wasn't, right?"
Sirius nodded again as the dorm door closed and Peter returned downstairs. He sighed and fell back onto the bed. There was nothing he could do about it, what had happened had happened.
Hiding up here wouldn't erase the nagging feeling in his chest as he waited for information, but he simply couldn't go downstairs. The ones still awake were gathered around the WWN, waiting patiently for any news. So far it had all followed schedule with one Celestina Warbeck song replacing another.
He should do something, he really should. Everyone was owling their families, not resting until they knew everyone they cared for was alright. But everyone Sirius cared for was already in the castle, worrying about their own families. Getting an idea, Sirius stood and took his robe from the hanger.
The dungeons were almost completely dark, the only light coming from the few torches on the walls. He found himself standing in front of the stone wall much sooner than he'd figured out what to do next. Carefully raising a hand he knocked, not knowing if it would be any good. It was. The stone in front of him seemed to melt before his eyes and a passage revealed itself.
"…first year forgot the password." The boy coming over to the entrance said, then he looked up at Sirius and froze. "Well, what do we have here. A Black coming to see what he's missed," he smirked.
"Evening, Alex." Sirius greeted his cousin. "Is Reg here?"
"Reg!" Alex Wilkes broke out laughing. "Still, Black, after all these years. You still call him that?" A chatter of laughs followed from inside the room.
"Is he here?" Sirius repeated.
"I guess." Wilkes shrugged. "REG! Someone's here to see you."
A moment of pressed silence passed before his brother appeared in the doorway.
"Care to come for a walk?" Sirius asked. Regulus paused and looked from him to Wilkes before nodding.
"I'll be waiting for you to return him!" Wilkes called after him as they walked away.
"What did you want." Regulus asked, not rude, but short and impatiently.
"I just…wanted to see you were alright," Sirius began. "I mean…we're family after all."
"Yeah, I'm fine." Regulus looked down at his hands.
"Good."
"Yes."
Sirius bit his lip, trying to come up with something else to say.
"Was that all?" Regulus asked.
"Yes…I guess."
"I'll go then."
"Sure."
Regulus turned and started walking away when Sirius felt an urge to say something more.
"Hey, Reg!" His brother turned. "Be careful."
Regulus nodded and, turning the corner, was gone again.
Sirius turned too, when he was sure Regulus had gone, and made his way up the stairs. It hadn't turned out the way he'd wanted it to, not that he had known how he wanted it to go. He had seen others, both those he knew and those he didn't, care for their younger siblings. Sitting together and calming them, stroking their hair and hushing them to sleep. He hadn't hoped for that, but some part deep inside of him had maybe wished for a heartfelt exchange where they admitted they were scared and that no matter what happened they would always be brothers.
Sirius climbed the last stairs to the common room and the Fat Lady swung open upon him giving her the password (jack o'lantern). The common room was dead quiet apart from the jazzy tunes of Celestina Warbeck's "You Charmed The Heart Right Out Of Me."
"What's happening?" Sirius snuck up behind James.
"They're doing the news," James whispered. "Right after this ."
Sirius wanted to run up to the dorm again and hide under the covers. He didn't want to hear what they had done. Still, if he didn't it would drive him crazy. He settled on the chair beside
James and waited out the song. Even before the last tunes had rung out a male voice filled in and informed them this was an extra announcement following the events in London.
"We have Auror John Dawlish with us here," the male voice said. "John, can you tell us what has happened?"
"Certainly, Eric," Dawlish replied. "At seven thirty tonight the Auror office got information about a disorder at a pub in central London, known to be common whereabouts for Ministry workers.
We were immediately at the spot. Unfortunately, most of the attackers had fled by then. We were able to take in a few of them though, and they have been recognised to be so-called 'death eaters'."
"What do you know about the witches and wizards in the pub?" the reporter asked, his voice more than a little shaken.
"At present our team is still searching throughtout the area and we have no exact numbers. The latest
reports mentioned ten or more deaths, and around the same number of injured."
"And the injured have been taken to St. Mungo's?"
"We are working on it," Dawlish said. "The building is absolutely trashed, and getting people out is very difficult work. I assure you that we are doing our best."
The WWN crackled and when the line stabilised again, Eric's was the only voice left. He only repeated what they already knew.
"Is that all!" someone exclaimed. "Bloody media."
It was a relief to hear someone talk, a reminder that they were still able to talk, and the tension
eased slightly.
"They don't know anything else," someone else snapped.
"Sure they do. They just won't tell us," a third replied. There was a mumble of agreements.
"Do you wanna go?" Sirius leaned in towards James, who nodded.
Remus and Peter followed as they made their way up the stairs and into the dorm. Frank and
Arnold were still downstairs so they had it to themselves. Sirius had never felt more uncomfortable at the thought of sitting around alone in the dorm.
"So…what do we do now?" James asked, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room.
"I guess we try and sleep?" Remus suggested.
"I won't be able to," Peter said, going over to the nightstand and taking out a bag of Bertie Bott's
Every Flavour Beans.
"Stay awake then," Remus yawned, laying down on the bed. "I'm exhausted."
Sirius felt drained too, but he couldn't possibly sleep. Taking a bean from the bag Peter offered him, he settled on his bed.
It was almost dawn. Alice was cradled up in her bed asleep, with the letter from her mum saying she and her father were at home and fine beside her. Marlene had gone to see that her brother Mickey was sleeping. Left awake were Lily, Mary, Elizabeth and Amelia. Mary was cuddled up in Lily's bed with her head resting on her friend's shoulder. She was happy for Alice, really, who could fall asleep knowing her closest family was safe. Mary had no way of contacting her mum, or dad for another hour or so when the sun had set properly. Neither did Lily or Elizabeth.
"We can't just sit here," Amelia mumbled a while later, sitting on the floor leaned against Lily's bed. "We need to do something."
"What can we do?" Elizabeth moaned, pulling herself up in a sitting position.
"I don't know. Why don't we play Exploding Snaps?"
Lily looked at her like she was insane. "You've got to be joking?" Lily breathed. "My parents left for London last night." Lily nodded towards the letter thrown on top of her nightstand. It had arrived from her mum a few days ago and at the time no one had given her parents London trip a second though. Now, Lily had spent most of the evening reading and re-reading it, looking for clues that simply didn't exist. "I have no way of contacting them and for all I know they could have gone out to eat and they could've chosen that bar. They could be dead!" Lily sat upright, Mary's head falling off her shoulder and waking her. "So I'm sorry that I don't feel like playing Exploding Snaps!"
"Sorry…" Amelia mumbled. "It was just a suggestion."
"A real shitty one," Lily snapped back and rose from the bed. The door slammed shut behind her, waking Alice.
"What's happening?" She sat up and rubbed her eyes.
"Lily left," Mary said, glaring at Amelia. "Come with me looking for her."
"What did you say happened again?" Alice asked, wrapping her robe tighter around her as a window rattled in the wind and cold air flowed past them.
"Amelia suggested we play Exploding Snaps-"
"That was insensitive of her," Alice cut in.
Mary nodded. "-and Lily got really upset about it, saying she couldn't possibly play Exploding Snaps when her parents could be dead."
Alice nodded, thoughtfully. "What about you? How're you getting on?"
"Okay, I guess." Mary shrugged. It had worried her to begin with, her parents lived close enough to the bar that they could have been there, but the more she thought about it as the night passed, the more she came to the conclusion that they were fine, they had to be. It was a school night, they wouldn't have left Laura at home to go out. Also, if they had, they would have gone to the restaurant on the corner, not some bar they didn't know anything about.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah. I'm fine." She threw her arm around Alice's shoulders and pulled her close. "Don't worry about me."
"I…it's just…why don't you go send them an owl, just to be sure." Alice suggested.
"I don't want to leave you alone."
"It's fine. I'll continue look for Lily, and we'll meet up in the dorm later," Alice assured her and
ushered her away in the direction of the Owlery.
There were others in the Owlery as well, sending owls to their families. A younger boy lent Mary a quill and, finding a crumpled up parchment in her coat pocket, she scribbled down a few words on it.
Mum, Dad.
There was an attack in London yesterday, you might have heard about it. There were some wizards involved and they've cancelled tomorrow's lessons. Alice thought I should write and tell you. Hope you're all well.
/Mary
There was no need to say anything else and worry them further, surely all they needed to know would be on the news in the morning. She thanked the boy and attached the letter to a brown barn owl. just as she was about to leave the door opened and Florence Bell entered. Looking at Mary, her expression changed to one of pity.
"Ms. McKinnon," she said. "Dumbledore wants to see you."
"I'm…" Mary began correcting the girl on the use of her last name.
"There is no need to be upset. Dumbledore will tell you everything." Florence put a hand on her shoulder.
Mary swallowed.
"Okay," she breathed. "I'll go."
"Good." Florence took her hand away from Mary's shoulder.
Amelia and Elizabeth had left the dorm by the time she got back, but Marlene had returned. She was sitting on her bed staring out the window
"Marls? Are you alright?" Mary approached her.
Marlene nodded. "Where were you?" she asked, not taking her eyes of the darkness outside the window.
Mary sat down on the stool next to the drawer, she was feeling lightheaded just at the thought of what she was obliged to say.
"I was in the Owlery…" she began, "and I ran into Florence Bell." She had difficulty keeping her voice steady. "She…she must've thought I was you…because she told me, 'Ms. McKinnon', that Dumbledore wanted to speak to me." Marlene finally took her eyes from the window, looking straight at Mary.
"What?"
"I…I'm sorry." Mary didn't know what to say.
Marlene's bottom lip trembled. "It's…it's mum," she said.
"You don't know…"
"I do…" Marlene sniffled looking down at her hands."…she always went there after work."
"You'll still need to go," Mary said. "He's…he's expecting you."
"Will you come with me?" Marlene looked up at her with red and tear-stained cheeks.
"Of…of course." Mary stood and went over to the bed. She took a tissue from the drawer on the
way out and handed it to Marlene.
Marlene took a deep breath and dried the tears from her eyes with the tissue. She turned to Mary, who looked encouragingly at her, before stepping onto the rotating stairs.
She found herself outside the door, unable to raise her hand and knock. A minute or so passed before she heard the stairs spin behind her and Will appeared by her side. Turning, her eyes met those of her brother. He'd never really felt like a big brother to her. More often than not, Marlene had been like his big sister. But now as their eyes met, Marlene knew he saw his baby sister in need of help. He reached out and pulled her into his arms. He stoked her hair while she broke out sobbing into his chest. The words she'd thought out in her head came out as incomprehensible noises. Will hushed her and stoked her back until, finally, her sobs ceased.
Then he did what Marlene hadn't been able to: he knocked on the door. Not a minute had passed when the door opened and Dumbledore appeared.
"Ms. McKinnon, Mr. McKinnon. Come in," he said, and opened the door wider. There were two
chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk and he asked them to sit down. He handed Marlene another handkerchief before settling behind the desk and scrutinizing her as Marlene blew her nose and sniffled. She didn't like it, being watched that intensely. It was like she was being assessed.
"I think you might have already understood why you are here?" Dumbledore sighed, dropping
his gaze.
Marlene nodded, and so did Will next to her.
"We are waiting for your brother and sister to arrive, and then we will get to it."
Marlene felt like an hour must've passed by the time the door opened again. She heard someone talking behind her but she couldn't bring herself to turn.
"Come in," came Dumbledore's voice. He had left his chair and ushered the new arrivals into the room. Ellie came and sat next to Marlene on a chair that hadn't been there when Marlene had sat down. Mickey came and sat at Will's side. Marlene looked over at her sister and immediately felt her eyes tear up again. She raised her gaze to the ceiling and blinked to stop the tears from coming.
She couldn't break down now, she needed to be the responsible big sister. Her time to cry was over.
Dumbledore sat down in his chair again, and offered them a plate of biscuits. No one moved.
"Well, then." He sighed, putting the plate back behind the desk. "It is unfortunate we can not meet under better circumstances." He looked at the four siblings, his eyes full of pity. "It deeply saddens me to be the deliverer of such sad news." He rubbed his forehead. Marlene wished he could just get to it. The build up was worse than it could possibly be to have it out in the open. "I am afraid that, when the Aurors searched the bar late last night, they came across your mother.
There was nothing they could do for her."
Marlene had known it already, but hearing it aloud made it all so much more real. Dead. The word rang in her ears as an echo that wouldn't die out. She looked around, first at Ellie and then to Will and Mickey, her vision getting more blurred by the second and tears threatening to spill from her eyes. She bit her bottom lip to keep in a sob. She looked back to Ellie, who hadn't had a clue what was coming. Her brows were more creased than Marlene had ever wished to see them.
Reaching forward, Marlene took her hand in her own and squeezed it as reassuringly as she
could muster.
"Your aunt and brother will be here tonight to take you home," Dumbledore spoke again, causing
Marlene to jump. She had managed to forget he was even there. "Until then Madam Pomfrey has offered you to stay in the hospital wing, but you could return to your dorms if you wish."
Marlene looked at Ellie as she composed herself enough to speak.
"I…I need to collect some…some things from my dorm." It was like she'd forgotten how to speak English. "I could get Mickey's stuff as well."
"Very good, Ms. McKinnon." Dumbledore nodded. "What do you think?" He directed his question at the others.
"Mickey and Ellie should go to Madam Pomfrey, she could get them something for the shock.
I'll get my stuff, and maybe I could take Ellie's as well," Will said. Beside her he appeared so calm and collected. Marlene couldn't remember the last time he had acted his age.
Mary was still standing outside the gargoyle when they came down. Marlene hid her face in her hands, she'd never thought she'd be that happy to see Mary. Mary came forward and Marlene threw her arms around her.
"She's dead." She sniffed into Mary's shoulder. From the corner of her eye she saw Will pass with Ellie on one arm and Mickey on the other.
"I'm so sorry Marls," Mary whispered.
"I'm…'m fine." She pulled back from Mary.
"What…what do you wanna do?"
She wanted her mum to emerge from the dead and hold her in her arms and promise her she would never leave, she wanted to wake up from this nightmare.
"I…I need to get my…my stuff." She breathed between sobs. "And…and Mickey's."
"Okay, hon. Let's do that." Mary held an arm around her wrist. Marlene didn't think she'd be able to move forward had it not been for that.
As they moved towards Gryffindor tower Marlene told herself to get a grip. She needed to be strong and hold together for the sake of everyone else: her siblings, her dad, her aunt.
It wasn't too crowded in the common room, but the few groups of students around the room turned their heads as they made their way across the room. Marlene wanted to scream at them to stop, but she had no energy to. She hadn't slept in over 24 hours and the extensive crying had left her exhausted. Leading her into the dorm, Mary set her down on the bed and quietly went over to the other girls who watched her from afar, their eyebrows furrowed.
James didn't expect to find Lily on the verge of tears as he opened the dorm door. The crying wasn't too unexpected, everyone seemed to be in over-emotional states, but why she was outside their dorm, hair pulled up in a messy bun and cheeks flustered, he couldn't understand for his life.
"Lily? Is everything alright?" he asked, resisting the urge to hug her.
"No, or…I mean…I am," she stuttered. "Marls…she…she isn't."
"What? What's happened?"
Lily breathed and looked up before speaking.
"Er…It's her…her mum…she didn't make it."
James' stomach tightened.
"Marls…she…she's in our dorm. She's so upset James…we don't know what to…" Her voice failed her.
"Okay…" James stood awkwardly. "Should…should I come and see if I can do something?"
Lily pressed her lips together and nodded. "Please."
The dorm was a mess. Marlene's possessions lay scattered across the floor, like she'd started to collect her things but hadn't finished. Alice and Mary sat on either side of the four-poster bed, stroking Marlene's back as she heaved in sobs.
"She found her mum's last letter," Alice whispered, handing James a crumpled piece of paper.
"Marls, sweetie." James leaned closer to her head. She glanced up from the pillow she had had her head pressed against.
"James?" she sobbed.
"Yeah." He stoked her hair and wiped the fresh tears off her cheeks.
"She's…she's gone," Marlene yelped and buried her face in the pillow again. James felt like
doing the same. He had known Mrs. McKinnon since he was little, she'd been like family.
"I know," he sighed, climbing up next to her on the bed.
"Dead!" Marlene sobbed. James continued to stroke her hair as she cried into the pillow, fighting hard to keep his own emotions under control.
"It's alright," he whispered. "It'll all be alright."
Somehow, he managed to urge Marlene's face away from the pillow and get her to sit up in bed.
"I…I need to get the things," she sniffled, her face red and blotchy. "Mine…and Mickey's." Her bloodshot eyes looked up at him.
"It's all fine." James stroked her wet cheeks. "Lily will pack your things." He looked to Lily for confirmation. She nodded. "And Alice will talk to Mickey's dorm mates about his things." James hugged her arm. "Alright?"
She nodded stiffly.
"If you want to, I could get Ellie's stuff collected," Mary offered.
"What do you say, Marls?" James looked at her.
"Yeah." Marlene dried her eyes on the sheets. "That's good."
As the door closed behind Alice, James adjusted on the bed and replaced his arm behind Marlene's head with a pillow.
"I will be right back, Marls. I'm just getting you a glass of water." He stood and went over to the bathroom.
He located a cup on the shelf below the mirror, in between a perfume bottle and a pile of other stuff which simply couldn't be necessary. The door creaked open and Lily came in, it took James by such surprise that he dropped the cup and it broke against the sink.
"Merlin, Lily. You scared me!" He repaired the cup with his wand.
"Thank you," she mumbled, looking down at her hands.
"Sorry?"
"We couldn't have managed without you."
"It's nothing." He picked up the cup and filled it, all the while very aware of how little space there was between them in the small bathroom which was very clearly only made for one. "She's like my sister."
"Obviously." Lily hesitated. "But…at the end of the day…I thought you might not do it after all."
"I'd do anything for her," he said.
Lily smiled. "I'm rubbish at this, you know," she confessed. "All this grieving stuff."
"Isn't everyone?"
"No. I mean it. I'm the worst. I've been petrified, I've wanted to do something. But I've been
petrified." She looked down at her hands. "And you just come in here and sweep us off the chart. She'd been crying into her pillow for half an hour before you came."
"I've been doing it forever, you learn how a person works after a while, you know?"
"I guess." She leaned back against the wall and closed her eyes.
"Have you heard from your parents?" he asked.
"Yeah." She opened her eyes again, smiling a bit. "They're fine."
"I'm happy for you."
"Thank you." Lily bit her lower lip and stopped for a second, hesitating, before she took the half
step left between them and folded her arms around him. In all the scenarios James had imagined hugging Lily Evans, inside the bathroom in the girls' dorm had never been one of them.
"You're such a good friend," she whispered, and for a moment James thought she'd start to cry again. "To Marlene, and Sirius, and Remus and Peter."
He didn't reply.
"You know…" She pulled back. "That's the cup I have my toothbrush in." She glanced at the cup
on the sink, where he'd put it down.
"Oh…well…" He laughed nervously.
"I would maybe just create a new one," Lily suggested. "You're top of the class after all."
"Just Transfiguration," he said, raising his hand to run it through his hair.
"Well, that's good enough, isn't it?" Lily turned and walked out of the bathroom. James couldn't decide if she'd been smiling or not.
Mary hurried across the halls of Hogwarts. Other people passed her, but there was an unfamiliar atmosphere over the castle. No one stopped to talk or even smile at passersby, everyone busy with their own stuff. The corridor from the Entrance Hall and down towards the Hufflepuff common room was empty but as Mary reached the stack of barrels she stopped. She knew where the common room was, but she had never actually known how to get in.
"Mary?" For a good five minutes, she'd stood dumbstruck in front of the barrels before she heard Dorcas behind her. She shouldn't have been afraid to turn, but after the last hours she couldn't comfort another crying friend. She didn't know what made her so sure that her friend would be crying, but she was positive of it. When she turned, however, her eyes didn't meet bloodstained or puffy ones, but dry ones.
"Hi." Mary sighed, relieved.
"What are you doing here?" Dorcas asked, coming over.
"I'm trying to find Felicia eh…Powell. Asking her to collect some stuff for Marlene's sister."
"Oh yes, I heard. I'm so sorry for them, and for you. Did you know her well?"
"No…not really." Mary thought she'd said hello to Mrs. McKinnon at the platform once or twice, but mostly she recognised her from the family photo on Marlene's nightstand.
"Oh, okay. That's good…I guess."
Mary nodded in agreement.
"Should I see if I can find Felicia?" Dorcas offered.
"Yes, please."
Dorcas' composed state was refreshing after the morning Mary had spent locked in the dorm, but it worried her too. How could she be so composed? Normally, Dorcas would be upset at every mishap; how could she stay so cool when the rest of the school was in distress?
"Do you want to come in?" Dorcas offered, standing half inside a passage.
"Are you sure?" Mary hesitated, knowing that bringing other houses into Gryffindor tower
would most likely result in a duel should the wrong people be in the common room.
"Of course. Everyone will love you."
Mary rolled her eyes, partly at the Hufflepuffness in her friend's reply, and partly because surely there would be people inside who she had gotten into a fight with at one point or another.
"Dorcas," Mary began as they climbed the stairs to Dorcas' dormitory. "Can I ask you something?"
Dorcas nodded, pushing the wooden door open and holding out her hand for Mary to enter the room. It wasn't round, like the Gryffindor one, but rectangular with three beds pushed against each of the two longer walls.
"How are you so…calm?" she asked. "Everyone else seem to be breaking down, but you act like you always do."
"Well…" Dorcas sat down on her bed and started searching through the drawer of her bedside
table. "I guess I've got no one to lose. Mum's working in America, and dad never wanted anything to do with me in the first place." She shrugged. "I'm upset about the attack, but I'm used to handling upset."
The door swung open and another girl entered the dorm. She walked past them and over to the bed beside Dorcas'. Taking a rubber band from her arm, she threw her hair up in a messy bun and lay down on the bed with her legs resting against the headboard.
"What do you mean 'you're used to handling upset'." Mary asked, feeling terrible she didn't know. She looked at Dorcas, whose eyes still rested on the girl who'd just arrived.
"Oh, nothing." She shrugged, looking down. The girl still hadn't paid them any attention. Mary wondered if she was crying; it wouldn't have surprised her, but she wasn't.
Dorcas had stood up and now she tugged at Mary's arm to make her stand too.
"Who was that?" Mary asked, as Dorcas dragged her along down the stairs. Dorcas' facial expression had changed. Her gaze was lowered again and she bit her bottom lip.
"Ivy," she said, walking down into the common room again. The name rang a bell with Mary, although she couldn't recall if it was from some class or because Dorcas had mentioned her before. "We…we used to be friends." Dorcas bit her lip harder. And the pieces fell into place.
"That Ivy?" she exclaimed. Dorcas hushed her.
"Yes."
"The one from that night?"
Dorcas nodded.
"With Louise?"
"Yes."
"Oh, Dorcas." Mary pulled her friend into a hug.
"It's fine really."
"You don't look fine."
"I promise."
Mary was about to argue the point, but Felicia appeared at her side, carrying a bag at her side.
"It's all done," she announced.
Mary smiled at her and, without thinking, hugged her too. Dorcas released a small laugh behind
her.
"What?" Mary turned.
"It's just…I never saw you as a hugging person." Dorcas smiled.
"Well…maybe I am. In secret." It was like a weight had lifted from her chest at Dorcas' laugh,
however small it was. She hadn't heard anything even close to it in nearly two days.
"Mary."
Turning on the spot Mary saw Felicia, who held out the bag for her to take. "Thank you." She took the bag. I'll get back to Marlene with this. And Dorcas, just tell me if you need anything."
She walked through the cosy common room, feeling a bit better than she had when she entered. That feeling, whatever it was, was soon replaced with a nagging feeling in her chest. She felt horrible she didn't know about Dorcas' family, that she hadn't recognised Ivy, that she still didn't really know who Ivy was. Still, after considering Dorcas to be her friend for two years, she didn't know how this Ivy fit into her life.
She felt terrible about Marlene as well. Mary had pushed her to the ground, right before she lost her mother, and for what? Because she didn't really like her? And everyone else she had made herself enemies with, because of a crazy rumour about one thing or another. She'd been a fool.
She'd almost reached Gryffindor tower by the time she realised what it was really all about. It was the thick grey blanket over the school that closed out all sunshine and happiness. It'd made her mad, she could only think of what an awful person she was. A chill ran down her spine and she pulled the cardigan closer around her as she made her way down the last corridor towards the Fat Lady. The temperature must've dropped outside and it was noticeable inside. Without all the students in movement around the school. Normally, the thought of Gryffindor common room and the sparkling fire would've made her feel warmer at once, but not even that seemed to be able to get her on better thoughts.
"Why the hell are there Dementors around the school?" James slammed the door to the boys' dorm shut behind him.
"What? Dementors?" Peter tensed and looked around, though he'd seemed fine a moment ago.
"Dementors?" Sirius repeated, lifting his head from the pillow.
"Yeah, right outside the wall," James said. "Lily spotted them from the window."
"Lily, huh." Sirius grinned, sitting up on the bed. "Since when is she 'Lily', Prongs? What're you not telling us?"
"Shut up, Padfoot." James scoffed, walking over to the window. "There are Dementors right outside and you still care about me and Evans."
"Well, I felt terrible. Then you dropped this Evans bomb and, weirdly enough, I feel much better."
"Well, that's good for you," Remus mumbled, sitting down on the chair beside the wardrobe.
"Because I feel like shit."
His head was aching and he was glad he'd sat down because otherwise he was sure he would've passed out.
"There's some chocolate in the top drawer," James offered.
Remus reached out and fumbled around the messy drawer before finding the bar. Stuffing a piece into his mouth, he passed it on to James.
"How is Marls?" Sirius asked, swallowing his chocolate.
James sighed.
"That bad?" Sirius glanced up.
"No, she's coping. Or, she was until the Dementors came." James ran his hand through his hair.
"I'm going back there soon, to go with her to Dumbledore. But I wanted to see you all were alright. How're you feeling Moony?"
It shouldn't have taken Remus as long as it did to figure out what James meant.
"Merlin, I forgot." He stood up a bit too quickly, because before he could say anything everything went black before his eyes.
"Moony, mate."
Someone was shaking him. He couldn't figure out who. Opening his eyes slightly, he saw the ceiling of his four poster bed, or a four poster bed.
"Mmh," he groaned, not daring to move.
"Moony." James leaned forward. "How are you?"
"Dunno, what happened?"
"You stood up, and then you passed out," Peter said, sitting down at his side. "Padfoot caught you."
Remus turned his head slightly to see Sirius on his other side.
"Thanks mate." He meant to smile, but his entire body was in pain. From passing out or because of the coming transformation, he didn't know.
Sirius grinned at him. "Anytime."
"So, how are you feeling?" Peter passed a chocolate bar to him.
"Like shit," he whimpered.
"Really? Because you look terrific." Sirius grinned.
"Pads," James said.
"What? I really think dark circles might be the latest trend."
"Come on mate, let's get you to the hospital wing." James stood and started lifting Remus off the bed.
"But…Marlene…" Remus murmured.
"It's fine," James sighed. "The girls have got it covered."
"No, Prongs. He's right," Sirius said. "We've got this, right Wormtail?"
Peter nodded and gave Remus another piece of chocolate.
Everything was spinning. Fireplaces were passing by. Marlene thought she might be sick, if not from the spinning, then from the thought of going home. Her dad would be a mess. She could picture it more vividly than she'd ever pictured anything before. Her dad had never been good at keeping his emotions in check, crying at everything and anything, but this? This was a whole other story. How would he move on from this, how would any of them?
For a minute everything went white, as though a bright light had lit everything up. The thought of if 'this was what dying felt like' had just entered her head when she stumbled out of the fireplace at home and onto the sitting room rug. She breathed in, not realising she'd brought a whole lot of ashes with her out into the room, and then wobbled over and fell down on the sofa, coughing. Her eyes teared up from the coughing fit and by the time her vision was back again, Her brother Mike was sitting next to her on the sofa with a hand on her back.
"Are you okay, baby?"
"No." She glanced up at him and felt tears burn behind her eyes again. Leaning in and burying her face in his chest, she felt the tears start to run down her cheeks.