Chapter 8

"Jane, wait!" Bellamy called, running after her.

"I told you not to follow me," she said, still running through the trees in the woods, outside their camp. She didn't know where she was going. She just ran, trying not to crash into a tree or spring her ankle on a root with Octavia in her arms. But Bellamy's flashlight helped guide her and she continued running. Octavia was crying now.

"To hell with it," Bellamy said to himself, running after her. "She's going to attract all the Grounders like this." He started a sprint and caught up with her in a matter of seconds with his long legs. He grabbed her, wrapping his arms around her. "Where do you think you're going, Jane?"

"Leave me alone!" she screamed, wrestling herself out of his embrace. Three-day-old Octavia screamed and started crying louder.

"Jane, listen to me." He held her shoulders making her face him. "You can't be out here alone in the dark. It's too dangerous."

"I don't care! Let me go!"

"No. I'm not letting you get killed after everything we've been through."

"We? I don't remember you being in Lockup for 4 months. Or having to deliver on Earth. You went through nothing!" she spat in his face. "I did all this for you, and you don't even give a damn! Let me go." She gave one shove of her shoulders and he let go of her, deeply hurt by her words. He would have done everything and anything for her. He would have traded his life – being floated – for her to be free and give his child a chance to live on the Ark. But Jane had chosen differently and he had had to live with it ever since. He couldn't even look at himself in a mirror. The only thing he could see was a coward. How he had let the mother of his child be locked up. How he had locked her up. His heart was in a million pieces.

Jane walked away, not running anymore. He couldn't let her go, though, so he followed her, silently, without the flashlight. A few minutes later, she arrived at a creek. She sat down on a rock and cradled Octavia in her arms, trying to shush her down. Jane broke down, sobs shaking her from head to toe. She heard steps on the pebbles of the shore, but ignored them. Let it be a Grounder, she didn't care.

But it was Bellamy. He sat next to her and wrapped her small frame in his arms. She didn't fight him and buried her face in his chest, crying, trembling and breathing hard. Bellamy didn't say anything. He just held her, with an eye on their surroundings. They were in plain view of the Grounders, and the noises most certainly woke them.

"I'm sorry," Jane said, her words muffled in his jacket.

"Me too," he said. "Jane, talk to me. What's wrong?"

She didn't answer right away, breathing a few times first. "I'm terrified, Bell. I have no idea what I'm doing. Who am I to be a mother? I've been alone – except for you – all my life and now I'm surrounded 24/7 with people. I don't know how to react. I don't know who I am anymore."

Bellamy held her tightly. He didn't have any words for her. "It's going to be okay, Janey. I promise. I won't let anything happen to you."

"You say that all the time," she said, half chuckling, half sobbing.

He smiled, his face in her hair. "Because I want to believe it, too." They were silent for a moment longer. Octavia had stopped crying, feeling both her parents close to her.

The lapping of the water on the stones and the dancing of the tree branches around them were the only noises. Not even an insect. Or an animal. Nothing. Above them, the night sky without a cloud, thousands of stars surrounding them.

"Look, a shooting star," Bellamy said, pointing at the sky.

Jane looked up and smiled. "Make a wish."

Bellamy smiled. "At this point I don't really know what to wish for."

Jane frowned. "Wait. That's not a shooting star." They both watched as the thing dropped from the sky. "Parachute? Bell, it's a dropship from the Ark."

"What? It's impossible. We have no communication with them. Why would they send a dropship?"

"Food and medical supplies. And a radio."

Bellamy paled in the night. "Jane, I have to tell you something."

"What?"

"There's a reason why I've been taking out the wristbands." He looked at her hazel eyes, with hundreds of stars reflected in them. "I did something bad to get on the dropship with you."

"Bell, what did you do?"

He closed his eyes. "I was offered a seat on the dropship if I killed the Chancellor."

"You killed the Chancellor?"

"Yeah. If they come down, they're going to kill me."

Jane stood.

"Where are you going?"

"We need to get that radio before Clarke and Finn do. Come on."

"We don't even know where that dropship landed."

"We more or less saw it coming down. We just have to hope Clarke and Finn didn't. Now come on."

Bellamy followed her and they walked in silence. He didn't know if he wanted to be behind her to watch her back or in front of her to lead the way. He wished there could be four of him so he could surround her and protect her. But Jane was walking fast, even with a baby in her arms. Thank goodness, he had a flashlight.

THWACK.

Bellamy did not see it coming. His flashlight fell to the ground, lighting Jane who turned around screaming his name. Then everything went black.

x-x-x

There was a throbbing pain in the back of his head. He reached for the spot with his hands and winced at the pain. His fingers came back with half dried blood on them. He grunted and tried to stand up. The world whirled around him and he fell on his knees, grabbing his head in his hands. "Ugh, what happened?"

Then he remembered. The night. The creek. Jane crying in his arms. The small dropship coming down from the sky. Him telling Jane what he had done to come down with her. The radio. And then darkness.

The stood, holding on to a tree and he was dizzy for a few seconds before his mind cleared. He looked around. "Jane?" he called out. No answer. "Jane!"

A few feet away from him, there was a piece of fabric in which Octavia was bundled in. "No," he said picking it up. "Please, no." He looked around, but he was alone. He headed towards where the little dropship had landed, thinking she had gone ahead of him since she couldn't carry him. He arrived there an hour later, but Jane was not there. Neither were Clarke or Finn.

It wasn't a dropship. It was a pod. He opened the door and inside was a person in a cosmonaut suit. He didn't care who it was. He or she was probably dead, anyway. He looked for the radio and cut it off before running to the river. He threw the radio in the water and ran back to camp, hoping against hope that's Jane was there.

"Open the gate!" someone called out. "It's Bellamy!"

The gates opened for him and he ran in.

"Blake, where have you been?" Miller said.

"Long story," Bellamy said. "Where's Jane?"

"Not here," Miller answered. "And Clarke and Finn ran off to see the pod that came down from the Ark. You saw that?"

"Yes, I did. Where's Jane?" he asked again.

"You left with her last night."

Bellamy became somber in a matter of seconds. "Grounders," he said to Miller. "I remember I was hit in the head last night, and when I woke up, Jane was gone. I had hoped she's come back here."

Nathan Miller swallowed hard. "What are you going to do?"

"I need to go get her. They'll kill her."

"But we don't even know who they are. And where they are. How are you going to find them? And Jane?"

Bellamy's shoulder's slumped. "God, help me," he whispered. "I have no idea how to find them." He stared helplessly at the wall, knowing that beyond that, he had no idea where to start looking for Jane. And Octavia. He was lost. He stood for a long time, trying to figure out what to do. One thing was sure was that he had to stop telling Jane that everything was going to be alright and that he wouldn't let anything happen to her. Because that was a lie. And he had fallen for it over and over again. He wouldn't do that same mistake twice. If he could ever do it again. Because if he couldn't, that meant Jane was dead.

No, he would never live with himself if she was dead.

"Open the gates!" the same boy called out. "Clarke and Finn are back!" The gates opened and Clarke, Finn and a girl he didn't know ran inside.

"What the hell did you do, Bellamy!" Clarke said, pushing Bellamy with all the force she had.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he lied.

"The radio from the pod!" Clarke said. "You arrived there first and took it out!"

"Bellamy Blake?" the new girl said. "They're looking all over for you on the Ark.

"What did you do?" Finn and Clark said at the same time. Bellamy didn't answer.

"He shot the Chancellor," the girl said.

"I had to do it to come on the dropship," he growled. "And I'm not sorry I did it."

"That's why you took out the wristbands and the radio," Clarke said. "You were afraid of the retaliations."

"You better be," the girl said. "He died in surgery. Doctor Griffin wasn't able to save him."

"Good," Bellamy said. "What are you doing here?"

"I was sent by Clarke's mom to make sure of our theory, that you were taking off the wristbands, and not dying. I had to radio back to tell them when I found you guys. But of course, you had to ruin everything," she said pushing him, too.

"Raven, calm down," Finn said. "What he did makes sense. It's not excusable, but still."

Raven shot a glare at him. "What do we do now?"

"Where did you put it?" Clarke asked Bellamy.

"It's too late," he said. "I doubt you can work with a soaked radio.

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