Chapter 18

It had been four days since Jane first heard Clarke's voice over the radio. Four days since Bellamy had locked himself up in the Com Room. Four days since Murphy and Monty tried to convince him to let them in. But Bellamy would not budge.

Four days since Jane was preparing – mentally and physically – for the extraction. But now she was ready. The mike in the Com Room to call the others was out of reach – thank you, Bellamy – so she had to go look for Raven and Echo. She found them quite easily in the lounge room, where they would always be after their daily chores.

"Okay," Jane said, sitting down. "I'm ready. Let's do this now before I change my mind."

"Bone marrow extraction?" Raven asked tentatively. "Are you sure about this?"

"Yes. I can't do it on myself, but I'll talk you through it. Come on, let's go."

"Wait," Echo said. "Why are you doing this?" She paused, not sure how to put this in words. "I betrayed you guys on the Ground. And Emori would let us all drown to save her own skin. Why are you doing this?"

Jane swallowed with difficulty. "Because I have to. Eight of us came up here, and eight of us are coming down. And seeing the increasing rate of your radiation symptoms, there's only going to be six of us left. And I'm not gonna let that happen. Now come on."

Raven followed, but Echo was hesitant. Finally, she gave up and followed her two friends.

"How are you holding up?" Raven asked Jane softly.

"Fine," she answered a bit too quickly. But the truth was that she cried herself to sleep every single night. She had found a way to cover up the dark rings under her eyes from lack of sleep. She would put on a smile on her face whenever people were around, but as soon as she was alone, tears brimmed her eyes. She had lost the only man she had ever loved to a girl alive thousands of miles away. A girl he couldn't talk to, only listen to. But she was here! Jane took a deep breath and pushed those thoughts away. She could cry later. There was work to do, right now.

"I talked to Emori about this yesterday," Jane said. "She should be here, too."

"What?" Raven said. "You're going to do two extractions at the same time?"

Jane nodded. "I don't think I could go through this two times. Once is enough." She pushed the doors to the medical bay open and closed them.

"Wait," Echo said. "I'll go get Emori."

Jane and Raven nodded. "Okay," Jane said to Raven, taking a deep breath. "It's not that complicated. We don't have the right syringes for bone marrow extractions, here, but we have this." She held out a gun-looking tool. "And before you say anything, there is no anesthetic or sedative."

"A drill? Are you crazy?!" Raven said. "That's what they used in Mt. Weather."

"I know. And I also know that you had to go through that. Look. You won't feel a thing, okay? You're going to be drilling it in me, remember?"

"But I know exactly how it feels, Jane, and I'm not doing that to you."

Jane searched Raven's eyes. "You have to. Emori and Echo need this blood, and fast. Please?"

Raven took a sharp intake of breath and crossed her arms over her chest. She looked at the drill, and then back at Jane. And then back at the drill. "Ugh, fine."

"Thank you."

Just then, the door opened and Echo came in with Emori and Murphy. Jane nodded once to them and then explained the process to Raven. "I'll mark the place on my hip where you'll drill. I'm probably going to scream, but you can't stop." She paused, breathed. What was she doing? "Once you hit the bone, it's going to be hard, but continue pushing until it gives way. Then you drill backwards to take it out. It's gonna bleed black, but you don't care about that. You take this syringe – this is the biggest needle I found – and you start pumping. Twice. You fill two syringes from the marrow in my hip." She let out a shaky breath. "Then you stitch back the hole and patch it up."

"And then I inject it in Echo's and Emori's arm. Got it."

"You sure?"

Raven nodded with a grave face.

"Okay. Let's do this."

She lay down on the operating table and lowered her pants on the side. She marked a small X on her hip where the bone was the thinnest and the bone marrow pouch was the biggest. Hours poring over the medical book in that Tablet was being useful.

"Strap me down to the table with those belts," Jane ordered. Emori and Murphy obliged, securing her to the table. One to hold her shoulders down, one over her stomach and one to hold her legs down. Jane felt panic rising inside of her, but she pushed it down again. She could do this. She had to do this. And then she could go. "Do it," she said.

Raven picked up the drill from the table and Echo and Emori both took one of Jane's hands.

"Wait," Murphy said. "Do you want something to bite on?"

"Yeah," Jane said, already out of breath from fear and quite pale. Murphy found a clean towel on the shelf and rolled it tightly before putting it between Jane's teeth. She nodded to Raven.

Raven pushed the switch on the drill. Cold sweat broke on Jane's forehead, and Murphy sponged it off with a corner of the towel. Raven placed the drill on the X. Jane closed her eyes and waited for the pain to come.

And it did. Hard.

She held back her scream for as long as she could, but it was impossible. She yelled, biting hard in the towel. She didn't mind breaking her jaw at the moment. She felt the drill hit the bone and then the sound of the bone being drilled in sent a chill down her spine – and everyone else's, too – and she screamed harder. If she had known the pain would be this excruciating, she wouldn't have done it. But she was here and there was nothing she could do about it. Then, the drill gave way.

Raven pushed the switch again, drilling backwards, bringing black blood along with her. She put the drill on the table and took the first syringe. That's when Jane blacked out. The pain and now the sight – or knowledge – of that huge needle was more than she could handle.

"She's out!" Murphy yelled. "What do I do?"

"Is she breathing?" Raven said, still pumping the bone marrow in the first syringe.

Murphy looked for a pulse. "Yes."

"Good. Take out the towel so she can breathe better," Raven ordered. The first syringe was full and she took the second one, sliding it into the drilled hole, pumping the marrow. "I'm almost done," she said in a shaky voice. "I'm almost done," she repeated more for herself than the others, or Jane.

Everyone was silent, waiting for Raven to finish. She put the second syringe next to the first one and cleaned up the wound. "Just two stitches," she mumbled. "Just two stitches. You can do this."

Ten minutes later, Jane was all patched up, but still unconscious. Raven injected the bone marrow in Emori's and Echo's arm. "In two hours, you should be making Nightblood by yourself. And in forty-eight hours, it should start fighting away the radiation."

Murphy was still sitting next to Jane, making sure she was still breathing. She was, but she was still unconscious. Echo and Emori sat on the floor waiting. Then, after some time, Jane's eyes finally fluttered opened, and she groaned.

"Oh, my God," she said in a sore voice from screaming. "It hurts like hell. Make it stop…" she trailed off. She closed her eyes again and tears streamed down her temples down in her ears. The pain in her hip was throbbing at the same pace as her beating heart.

"It's okay, Jane," Raven said softly, taking her hand in hers. "It's done." She unstrapped the belts holding her down.

Jane tried to sit up, but the pain was too strong and she screamed again, falling back on the bed.

"Maybe you should rest a little," Raven suggested.

"Do you have any painkillers in here?" Murphy asked, scanning the labels on the boxes on the shelves.

"No, there aren't any," Jane said through gritted teeth. "I labeled all that, so I know." She let out a chuckle and looked at Murphy. "I wonder who prepared those boxes, by the way."

He turned around. "Really, Jane? Do you think Emori and I were thinking of painkillers when we packed that for the light-house bunker? All the real medicine had been taken away to Polis, to the bunker. There wasn't much left for us, there."

"Yeah, I noticed," Jane said. "Or I wouldn't have done this without anesthetic." She took a deep breath. "Help me sit up," she said to whoever was closer to her. Raven and Echo helped her up, and Jane hissed through clenched teeth. At least she was prepared for the pain, this time. She sat up and let her legs dangle over the side of the table.

"Well, that's done, then." She offered them a ghost of a smile and tried to slip off the table. She grunted when her bad leg hit the floor, but she didn't stop. She dragged her leg to the door.

"Where are you going?" Emori asked.

"To my room. I need a real bed to sleep this off." She pushed the door and limped to her room, holding on to the walls for support. How long would this hurt? Once in her room, she locked the room and carefully lay in her bed, hissing as her hip throbbed relentlessly. She closed her eyes and tried to forget about the pain. For the first time since ALI was defeated by Clarke, she wished she could go back to the City of Light. No pain – emotional or physical – was all she wanted right now. Her chest hurt as much as her hip. Who would have known a broken heart hurt as much as a bone being drilled?

But eventually, she fell asleep, wishing she never had to wake up again.