Naomi

I turned over in bed incredibly slowly, trying to get my brain to block out the thought that as a reward from rescuing me from utter misery, I'd used Effy to cheat on Emily yet again.

Her breathing stayed regular and even, but I knew enough about the mysterious being called Elizabeth Stonem by now to know that meant nothing. She was perfectly capable of playing dead (OK, asleep) to catch me out. But as I rolled over, facing her back, I started to believe she actually was sound asleep. I just hoped it wasn't the sleep of the terminally fucked. There was no familiar...well unfamiliar lately...but anyhow, reasonably familiar ache between my legs. No sensation of bruised lips, chafed nipples or the scent of sex in the air. But still, we were naked, and I knew for a fact we had gone to bed, and gone to sleep, clothed. What the actual fuck?

I must be stupider than even Emily thinks, because just then a voice from the tousled head buried in the pillow next to me spoke.

"The answer is no...we didn't"

"Wh...what?" I said nervously "We didn't what?"

"Fuck" she said flatly "That IS what you're worried about Naomi, isn't it?"

It was, but I wasn't about to admit it, was I?

"Never thought it for a minute" I said limply...like lying to E Stonem was ever gonna work.

"Right" she said, turning over to face me at last. I didn't want to...I swear it, but the sight of a naked Effy right there in front of me was too much to resist. My eyes disobeyed the strict instructions of my brain and scanned the naked flesh in front of me. Even I, in my post Emily self abusing state, could admire the slim, pale body I could now see in all its glory. The sheet had slipped down so I could admire her small conical breasts and smooth flat stomach. I gulped hard, trying hard to crank my eyes up to meet eyes which I knew would be regarding me with amusement, but it was a good 5 seconds before I could do it.

Sure enough, the smirk was there, along with the eyes.

"You did want to though...about 2 am I think it was, when you woke me up, mumbling something about fucking my brains out"

I stared at her in horror...I hadn't...had I?

"Fuck off" I muttered weakly "I didn't...I wouldn't"

"Oh you did Naoms" she grinned artfully, making no attempt whatsoever to cover up her assets. Something she surely knew was distracting the hell out of me.

I blinked at her blasé attitude. She had been good enough to put me up, rescue me from the hell called Alfred Road and how did I repay her? By trying to fuck her in the night. Classy, Naomi, I thought miserably, really classy.

She must have read my facial expression with her normal annoying perception, because she obviously decided to take pity on me.

"Relax...we didn't Naoms. Not that it wasn't tempting, having you take off my tee and snuggle right in there. Nice tits by the way, firm but yielding"

I reddened and gripped the sheet tighter round me. What the fuck had I been thinking. I didn't remember a thi...oh fuck, that dream, it wasn't a dream, was it?

The dream, now coming back to me in vivid colour. The one where I was on a beach with Ems, doing all sorts of filthy things to her. That dream.

"It was flattering at first, you wanting to 'screw me unconscious', as you so delicately put it...but when you started calling me Emily and asked me to do that 'special thing' with my tongue you loved so much, I sort of got the impression you weren't 100% into me. More a tiny redhead not a million miles from here"

"I'm so sorry Eff..." I started before she interrupted again.

"Apology not required babe" she laughed "To be honest, if you'd been conscious...and not the girlfriend of my other friend...I might have let you carry on. I haven't been with a woman since Tony decided I should shag Michelle, just to complete her education two years ago"

My mouth hung open at THAT revelation. I had always thought that Effy had dabbled. She'd always been so OK about me and Ems getting it on and admitted at a party once, when she was totally monged that she'd tried the power of the pussy when she was younger, before going back to cock. But Michelle...her older brothers girlfriend?

She giggled at my expression.

"Don't look so shocked Naoms, Tony always was right on the edge when it came to sex. Didn't you know about him blowing Maxxie in Russia that time when they shared a room?"

I didn't, but it wasn't totally surprising I suppose, he always was a pretty boy and so was Maxxie. Boys will be boys, I suppose, but Michelle?

"It was just the once. We both had fun,although at one point I had to get up and lock the bedroom door. Shagging Michelle is one thing...having your brother watch you while you do it is a bit much, even for me"

I blew out a long breath. Relief competed with embarrassment now. At least she knew I wasn't actually trying to get off with her in the night. But still, acute wishing for this all to go away was top of the agenda.

"Relax Naoms, like I said, flattering, but not really what you need right now. In fact, right now, I need a shower. I might be a little while...being groped in the night always leaves me with a small problem in the morning. I might need some self help while I'm washing away my sins"

With that, she pulled the sheet completely off her and stretched her arms above her head, giving me an even closer look at those cute tits. I could feel my face colouring yet again. She grinned a my utter failure to stop checking her out.

"You might want to make the most of the next 15 minutes...I have a feeling that dream needs closing off hun" she grinned, sliding out of bed, giving me a tantalising glimpse of the small, neatly trimmed triangle between her legs. I felt the throb between my own thighs just as she reached the bedroom door. She spun round and chuckled at my goggling.

"Fifteen minutes...right" she smirked.

I fell back on the pillow after she'd gone, calling myself every stupid name I could think of. Bitch, I thought without malice...what was she on about. All that fifteen minute shi...

Oh God...of course. She was giving me time to...

I couldn't. I really couldn't...

I did of course. Masturbation was something else I hadn't got any of recently. It must have been 6 weeks or more since I tried it. Ever since Emily had found out about Sophia, every attempt to give myself pleasure had failed miserably. My sole fantasy portfolio since the day Ems and I had got together properly had been her. She might look innocent, but she was definitely the filthiest person I had ever slept with. Not that there have been that many. 4 guys, not one of which got me off and the sole, sterile finger fuck with Sophia. That was it. But it never mattered. Emily would, and did do anything I wanted. Dressing up, role play, mutual masturbation, toys...you name it, she was up for it. So whenever I wanted to rub one out, say on a weekend when she was forced to spend time with her sister or family, her face was the one I imagined when I got myself off. Which ended up being a bit restricting when I cheated on her and the only image my fucked up brain could conjure up was her anguished face on that car park rooftop, leafing through Sophia's drawings.

So no self abuse then...not for weeks.

But now...even with the sickening knowledge that Emily was probably still in bed with that fucker with dirty hair, I was horny enough to try.

Was it wrong that Effys tits also put in an appearance? I didn't think so, given the circumstances. I finished myself off with smooth, efficient strokes and hoarse cry. It felt good, but as the shower stopped running, I knew that was probably going to be the best moment of the day by a country mile...

XXX

Emily

I tried to keep a lid on it...I really did. But as I moved around the house, with rubber gloves and a bucket of soapy water, cleaning the detritus of that awful party away, I sobbed continually. No one phoned or knocked. Even Mandy left me alone. I think last night even sickened her beyond repair. I'd never actually promised her anything. I was telling the truth when I spat at JJ that I didn't want another relationship. They really did suck, but she deserved better than I was able to give her. But mostly it was me that sucked at it all. I'd built Naomi up into this impossibly pure image that she was only ever going to fail at being. She was human, just like me.

And just like me, she'd fucked up. Not as publicly, but just as explosively. I knew in my heart that I'd made more out of the cheating with Sophia than it actually was. She'd tried often enough to explain her reasons. Not that I'd ever give her the chance, of course. It was what it was, a desperate attempt by her to prove that she could exist outside the walls I'd erected around us. Emily and Naomi, Naomi and Emily. Us against the world. Against my mother, my sister, my claustrophobic home and my utter fear of being alone. All constructed to prevent me looking at our relationship objectively. We were 17, for fucks sake. No one gets lucky enough to have it all at that age, do they?

Maybe we would spend the rest of our lives together, although last night probably put paid to any chance of that happening. But building a fantasy castle to live inside was childish, I knew that now.

I knew, even though only a few people here last night were from Roundview, that the grapevine would ensure Naomi heard all the gruesome details about me getting shagged by that guy. She would definitely not be able to forgive that, on top of the farce that was my relationship with Mandy. Naomi might have fucked up first, but I'd put the lid on our affair and welded the fucking thing shut, thats for sure.

Two hours later, I had just finished cleaning the final room, bagging up another dozen stinky beer bottles and hoovering the dirty carpet, when the doorbell went. I froze. Whoever it was, I didn't want to see them. Mandy definitely, Katie? No fucking thanks. If she'd heard about my little foray into hetero land, I'd never hear the end of it. Naomi? No. she had a key...it was her fucking house for Christ's sake.

Who then?

I edged towards the front window. The deja vu of this position, hiding in here, like when the postman was ogling my tits back when the world was rosy and full of love, didn't escape me.

Fuck, I recognised the profile. Just what I needed, Effy fucking Stonem. No doubt here to pick up more of Naomi's clothes and give me a bollocking as a bonus. I really didn't need THAT this morning.

Should have known better.

"You'd make a shit burglar Ems" she said, still looking at the front door "No wonder the postman got an eyeful"

Shit, how does she KNOW these things? I thought bitterly.

Oh, well, I thought, lets get this over with. I put down the black bin bag and went to the front door, opening it to see her face smirking, inevitably. I stood aside to let her in. She turned when I'd closed the door and smirked again. I fucking hate that look.

"Clearing up?" she said sarcastically

"No, I'm fucking baking a cake...look, what is it you want Eff...I'm tired and hungover...and..."

" Well fucked?" she said sharply and I winced at the brutality of that sentence. Here it comes, I thought.

"Listen Eff...I have no excuses, but then I don't need to give you any do I? Its not your business, is it?"

She nodded without answering, waiting for me to go on. Another annoying trait of hers.

I sighed. This really was not what I wanted to do now.

"Do you still love her?" she said apropos nothing at all.

I stared at her, thinking she was taking the piss. How did I answer that? Of course I still loved Naomi, but that was hardly the point was it. She'd cheated, I'd cheated, more than once if I was honest, in thought if not in deed, what was there to save?

"Yes" I said in a small voice I hardly recognised as mine "I still love her...but she won't love me...after she finds out what I've..."

"Shagged that tosser Mac?" she said helpfully

I lowered my eyes. Of course, she would just know, wouldn't she?

"Yes" I said bleakly "She'll never forgive me for that"

Effy shook her head, as if trying to explain quantum physics to a bonobo.

"I'm surprised you two ever got together sometimes, you know Ems" she breezed "You both have the emotional range of a toaster. Thank God you found each other...no one else would put up with either of you for five minutes"

I should have been angry at her tone, but to be honest, I was too fucking tired.

"And your point is?" I almost whispered

"My point is, Emily, you could probably tag team the Archbishop of Canterbury and Ed Sheeran on College Green and that silly cow would still forgive you. She knows she fucked up spectacularly, but she's sorry, so sorry she's been putting up with the shit you've been feeding her for months. Isn't it about time you stopped punishing her, and more importantly yourself and started to patch things up before its too late?"

"B...but how?" I mumbled, not quite believing my ears.

"I'm gonna sound like that lamo sitcom from decades ago...but I'm going to say this only once – talk to her, she's got two tickets to Goa in her handbag. Been holding on to them for months, hoping you'd forgive her. Talk to her, pack your bags and go away for the rest of the year. By the time you get back, all this shit will be forgotten and you can begin your Uni courses a proper couple again. Life's too short Ems...talk to her"

I nodded. It was a chance, nothing more than that. But Goa? Really? What had I got to lose.

I took out my mobile phone and started to search for her speed dial. Effy placed her cool fingers over my trembling hand.

"No need...she's waiting round the corner, by that death trap you call a scooter. Go get your girl"

I took a deep breath and walked outside. The sun had just cleared the rooftops opposite. Naomi was standing there, doing that lip biting thing that was hard wired to my knickers. I started to walk towards her, but she didn't wait. She ran towards me, arms outstretched. As she folded me in her arms and we sobbed nonsense at each other, I saw Effy leaving us with a casual wave over her shoulder.

She said something as she passed. I didn't hear it properly, but it sounded suspiciously like "Mission accomplished"

Bitch.

Did I care? Not really, I had the one thing I treasured most in the world in my arms and nothing and no one was ever gonna take that away again...