A/N: italics = flashbacks or inner thoughts. You'll be able to distinguish depending on the case.
I just had so much fun writing this chapter, especially jealous Hanna and oblivious Spencer. Hope you'll enjoy!
Rosewood, April 2012
A week after escaping from the Dollhouse, the girls were struggling to deal with the lingering anxiousness and fear that this horrible experience generated. They were all working on finding a method to try and cope with PTSD symptoms, each of them in their own personal ways. And that wasn't an easy task, at all.
While Aria was busying herself with art and photography and Emily was searching some sort of solace into Sara Harvey's arms, Hanna and Spencer were having a much more difficult time. The latter especially.
Given her past with drugs, in fact, her mother deemed necessary to avoid any medical prescription that involved close bottles with child-resistant cap and pills of any kinds. Thus, Spencer's inability to put her brain and her body to rest. For the umpteenth time.
The girl just had the worst luck.
However, one night, fate led her somewhere interesting.
Tired of being questioned by her parents about the ordeal she just went through, she grabbed her laptop, put it in her purse and left her house in a hurry. She didn't even take the car, opting instead for a good walk, in hope to clear the mess in her head and blow off some steam.
While strolling around the small town, she just happened to crave a giant cup of coffee, so she walked into The Brew and sat down on one of the armchairs.
She didn't have to wait too long before the new waitress came to take her order, seeing that the place was quite empty.
Glancing up at her, Spencer couldn't help but notice she was really pretty, and she actually took a moment to appreciate how the girl pulled off that laid-back look of hers. Instantly, and for the first time since the Dollhouse, the brunette felt actually at easy being in proximity of a total stranger and exchanging small talks with them.
After a short time, the waitress – whom introduced herself as Sabrina – came back with Spencer's Triple Espresso and a small plate of pastries.
"Aaand, here you go!" The tall blonde placed the items on the table, then added with a warm smile "These are on the house"
"Are you sure?" Spencer, ever the considerate one, asked.
"Of course" Sabrina winked. "Try them and let me know what you think"
"Sure" the brunette shrugged and immediately grabbed a cinnamon roll, bringing it to her mouth and taking a bite. She let out a satisfied moan that actually made the other girl blush slightly.
"This-this tastes like, I don't know, like angels" Spencer complimented. "You need to tell me when did you guys get it, that's so good" she added, eagerly taking another bite.
"Uhm, well… I actually made them" the barista admitted somewhat proudly, though without bragging about it.
"No kidding?" Spencer raised both her eyebrows comically, eliciting a light chuckle from her interlocutor.
"I swear! Scout's honor" she smirked. "I'm really glad you liked it" she said softly.
"God, this is heaven" the brunette let out another moan out of pure pleasure. "You gotta make sure to have some ready for me every day, 'cause I'm gonna stop by whenever I can to have a taste of… this" she stated, giving an enamored look at the treats on the plate.
"Well, I hope so…" Sabrina replied flirtatiously. "Oh, sorry, I gotta go" She glanced at the door when she heard someone walking in and ruefully excused herself, brushing her fingers on the brunette's shoulder lightly. "Be right back"
Spencer nodded nonchalantly and grabbed her laptop, positioning it on the table in front of her. She opened a 'Word' document and began to type at a steading pace.
From the corner of her eyes she observed the exchange between the nice waitress and the guy who just entered, and observed as the latter handed the girl a sealed plastic envelop. Spencer's eyes widened just a little as she recognized the content: weed.
'Now, that is interesting' she smirked internally, discreetly turning her gaze on her pc. A plan forming in her mind.
Minutes later the guy left and Sabrina busied herself with some cleaning at the bar counter before strolling back to Spencer's table.
Just in that moment, the brunette let out a loud yawn, stretching her long arms and cracking her neck.
"You seem pretty exhausted" she said sympathetically, eying her carefully.
"Yeah" Spencer mumbled, "It's just… I'm not getting a lot of sleep these days"
"I can imagine that" Sabrina whispered softly, and Spencer stiffened.
"Sorry, I didn't mean… It's just, I heard about-"
"It's okay" Spencer cut her off, gesturing to the other girl to take a sit at her table. "I guess it can't be helped. It's a small town, after all…"
"I'm probably making an ass out of myself, aren't I?" the blonde cringed. "I'm really sorry something like that happened to you... and your friends" she added as an afterthought.
"Thank you" the brunette smiled up at her sincerely.
"I can't even fathom how hard it must've been, it still is…"
"Yeah" Spencer concurred. "And being deprived of sleep is certainly not helping. So, you bake" she not so subtly changed the subject. "You don't happen to have any special brownie, do you?" she laughed, posing the question like a joke to mask the trepidation in her voice. She expected, in fact, a positive answer to this.
After what she had witnessed before, there was a chance…
"Uhm, actually…" Sabrina scratched the back of her neck a little nervous, "I happen to have some medical cannabis, but I'm afraid I can't really share it with you"
"Oh no no, that's alright. I was just kidding, you know" the brunette chuckled through gritted teeth. Disappointment hit her like a cold shower. 'Shit'.
They chatted some more before Spencer's phone buzzed with an incoming call from her mother. She groaned to herself and stood up, collecting her things.
"Sorry, I have to go. My parents decided it was finally time for them to start, you know, parenting. Better late than never, I guess" the brunette grimaced.
"Yeah, I guess" Sabrina shrugged giggling. "See you around, I'll save some goodies for you" she smiled and waved.
"You better do it!" Spencer pointed at her with a grin before dragging herself to the door and out on the street.
[Later]
When she got home later that night, she went straight to her bed, feeling completely drained and worn out. However, she knew since the beginning that sleep wouldn't overtake her that easily.
She had become accustomed to this perpetual state of insomnia and rare, blessed moments of half-sleep.
This night was no different, as she tossed and turned around in her bed like an oxen.
As she began to regain her senses, Spencer opened her eyes to see, first thing, a puddle of blood all around her on the carpet. Looking down, she noticed angry red blood spots contrasting violently with the white cotton of her tank top. She instantly started to panic, raising herself into a semi-sitting position. Leaning her back against the wall, she frantically examined her body, checking for possible injuries on her abdomen, her arms, anywhere that could possibly explain that mess.
Only then she glanced down at her shaking hands, covered too in that red, sticky substance.
Every freaking time she closed her eyes, a loud buzzer started to go off in her mind. Flashbacks and glimpses of reminiscences of the time she spent in that damned Dollhouse invaded her mind.
There was a trail of blood leading to the door of the room where she was held captive. She knocked and banged and tried the doorknob with increasing turmoil, leaving red hand prints on the wooden surface in the process.
She turned around, looking desperately into the surveillance camera, screaming and begging and just losing her mind.
"What did I do?" She asked through labored, heavy breaths.
"WHAT DID YOU MAKE ME DO?" she shouted desperately.
She abruptly stood up in her bed, the covers all scattered haphazardly on the floor. Her skin glistened with sweat. Her heart pounding at a maniacal tempo.
Taking deep breaths to try and steady herself, she grabbed her phone resting on the bedside table and checked the clock. Fifty-two minutes of consecutive sleep. The longest she has had in God only knows how much time.
She changed to a pair of sweatpants and a grey, cotton long sleeved shirt and bolted out of her room.
Not even fifteen minutes later, she found herself climbing up to Hanna's window. She tapped a few times on it, at first lightly, then a tad more loudly, before the blonde finally woke up, startled by the sudden noise.
She looked around with her heart in her throat, before actually made out the figure of her girlfriend standing awkwardly outside her window. She ran toward her to open it.
"What the hell are you doin'?" she hissed. "Do you have any idea what time it is?"
"Uhm, three in the morning?" Spencer ventured a smile.
"Exactly" Hanna snapped. "Why are you not, like, asleep? Like normal people, you know?"
"I couldn't…" the brunette replied glancing down at her feet.
And Hanna visibly softened at those words. She took her hand and led her to the bed.
"C'mere" she motioned for the brunette to lay down, and when Spencer did so she snuggled up to her, resting her head on her chest.
"You're lucky my mom finished her box of Chardonnay tonight" she whispered in the crook of the brunette's neck. "But I'm glad you came" she smiled.
"I just really needed to see you" Spencer husked, stroking her hair. "Make sure that you were safe"
"… I know the feeling"
The brunette's instinctively tightened her grip on her girlfriend, while Hanna drew random patterns on her stomach with her fingertips.
"I feel safe in your arms, you know?" the blonde shyly admitted, biting her bottom lip. "You're warm and soft, yet so strong. I keep thinking that, if it weren't for that big, beautiful brain of yours and your determination, we'd never have made it out of that place"
"We did it together, Han" Spencer countered. "That's actually what kept me sane through all of this, the fact that, at the end of the day, we were together. And that's also what I resent the most. Believe me, I'd do anything if it means sparing you any of this"
"I know baby, I know" Hanna soothed, turning her head to leave small kisses all along her neck and her collarbone. "Same here"
Spencer raised the blonde's chin and kissed her softly on the lips.
"We'll get through this, I promise" she solemnly affirmed gazing deeply, meaningfully in the shining blue irises of her lover. "We'll find Charles and we'll put an end to this, once and for all. Then we'll move on with our lives. We'll leave this damn town behind with all its drama, the lies, the secrets. No more of this shit. Just you and I"
"Sounds wonderful to me" Hanna whispered wistfully. Dreamy.
"Let's try to get some sleep now"
"Yeah, let's try…" Spencer heavily sighed.
"C'mon, turn on your side" Hanna ordered. "I'll be the big spoon tonight"
The brunette chuckled but ultimately obliged.
"Night, Han" she whispered before passing out. Finally.
Hanna smiled lovingly at her and pressed a kiss to her nape. She wrapped her arms around her slender waist and molded the front of her body closer to Spencer's back, pressing herself into the warmth of her girlfriend.
"Good night, my love"
[Three days later]
"Babe, he was trying to mess with your head" Hanna said gently to her girlfriend, stroking her hand.
"Yeah, you were sleep-deprived. You probably just imagined everything" Aria butted in, while Emily only nodded her head at her two best friends words.
The four girls were sitting on the couch in Dr. Sullivan's office and Spencer had just finished confessing what was plaguing her since the first day in the Dollhouse.
It took some time to convince all the girls, but at the end they abdicated to at the will of their parents. After all, they knew they needed to talk about that at some point with someone – with a specialist.
"I saw the blood covering my hands, my clothes. Smeared across the floor. It looked like someone just dragged a body out of that room. I was…" but the reminiscence was to vivid and the emotion too overwhelming for her to continue, so Dr. Sullivan decided it was time to call it a day.
They opened up, and that was a huge progress in itself for the first day of therapy.
So she kindly dismissed them, scheduling an appointment for the next Thursday.
"Hey, do you guys want to stop by The Brew? Grab something?" Emily tentatively asked.
There was still awkwardness around each other. No wonder, after the tortures and the mind games Charles had put them through.
"Yeah, sounds good to me" Hanna replied.
Aria and Spencer simply tagged along, both offering a small smile but remaining in silence.
When they reached the bar, Hanna immediately ran towards the restroom, informing everyone on the state of her bladder, obviously. Spencer shook her head fondly while the other two brunettes rolled their eyes and smiled. That was Hanna for you.
While Aria and Emily went to take their seat on the couch at the bottom of the room, Spencer was stopped by a very cheerful Sabrina.
"Hi, Spencer" the barista greeted with a warm smile. "How are you doing? Got any sleep?"
"Hey" the brunette smiled back. "Yeah, not so much. Better than nothing, though" she lightly scratched the side of her neck.
"How can I serve you today?" the tall blonde asked raising an eyebrow almost suggestively.
"Uhm, the usual would be fine. Thanks"
Hanna exited the bathroom just in time to watch the exchange. She spotted the two talking amiably, smiling at each other every so often, and just generally getting along.
'Weird' she thought. 'Since when Spence is so friendly? Even more so before taking her dose of caffeine'
But then the unthinkable happened, and the frown on her face was instantly replaced by a cold mask of rage. Her eyes zeroed in on one small, quick movement, then two, then three and her blood started to boil in her veins.
Sabrina kept making any sort of physical contact with Spencer, her Spencer; a light touch on the brunette's arm, a hand that lingered way too longer than necessary on her shoulder. A brushing of hair.
Spencer was definitively being flirted with. And, in all likelihood, she did not even realized it.
At least, that's what Hanna kept repeating herself. Because if her girlfriend was actually conscious of the coquettish blonde's advances and was playing along, well… she was going to die an atrocious death.
Hanna decided to actually test her, so she strolled by them feigning ignorance and went to sit herself on the couch beside Emily.
However, her face must have given her away because as soon as she sat, Aria started the questioning.
"Really? You're really going to ignore that?" the tiny brunette asked in astonishment, pointing towards an unsuspecting Spencer and her new… acquaintance?
"Where is your inner crazy jealous bitch?"
"Aria!" Emily chastised. "Don't feed the beast. Think of poor Spencer, you're supposed to be her best friend, you know?"
Hanna scoffed while Aria considered it for a second, before waving a hand in a noncommittal gesture.
"If she was my girlfriend, I'd have already gone there and stake my claim. Or dragged her away by her ear" she said nonchalantly.
Emily chuckled uncomfortably at this and lowered her gaze, thanking whatever deity that she wasn't in Spencer's shoes.
"Shh guys, she's coming this away" Aria said in a stage whisper.
"Hey guys, sorry for that. We were catching up" Spencer explained as she plopped down in the armchair beside the couch, the only sit still available.
The other girls exchanged glances and raised eyebrows.
"And since when you two became so close that you actually have things to 'catch up' on to?" Hanna asked in a clipped tone. Her face was unreadable.
"Who, Sabrina? Oh, well we started to talk the other day and we clicked, I guess. She's pretty nice" Spencer explained genuinely.
'Shit. Double shit. Holy double shit. Spencer, what the hell?' Emily cringed, anticipating something very similar to the Apocalypse to come from the blonde at any seconds.
'So naïve. So, so naïve Spence. You've been a really good friend, this world will sorely miss you' Aria shook her head sadly.
Hanna squinted her eyes and pursed her lips together but said nothing. Nothing at all.
And that left two brunettes gawking at each other and the blonde with mouths agape and shocked expressions and the third one blissfully oblivious of what was going on.
Right in that moment, Sabrina came back with their orders.
"Here you go guys, enjoy" she smiled friendly at each one of them, placing their coffees on the table.
She then turned to Spencer with another kind of smile on her face. Soft and mischievous.
"And these are for my favorite customer" she handed the brunette the cup of coffee and a cinnamon roll. "As promised" she winked before leaving.
But then she stopped midway and turned around, having seemingly forgotten something. She approached Spencer and bent down, whispering something in her ear.
"I've got something for you. Hopefully, that'll help you unwind"
Spencer nodded her head and smiled gratefully up at her, taking the small package of weed brownies Sabrina brought her in her hand and stuffing it in her jacket pocket.
Anyway, she was not so quick in doing so and the other girls had all the time to notice the little note pinned to the envelope. Their eyes zeroed in on the writing on the little card:
'Hey babe, try to relax'. A giant heart sketched on the side.
"Special treats"
The barista squeezed her shoulder and walked away, leaving three girls switching gazes back and forth from her to the younger Hastings.
Spencer, unaware of the heavy tension that suddenly descended upon them, munched happily on her pastry.
"God, this is so good" she moaned. "That girl has hands of gold"
Three heads snapped at lightened speed to glare at her like she'd just confessed to be Hitler's heir.
"Uhm, why are you guys looking at me like I've just sacrificed a goat to Satan?" Spencer asked truly perplexed.
"You… You…" Emily tried. She really did.
"You're unbelievable!" Aria exclaimed baffled.
"Wha- what did I do?" Spencer tilted her head to one side in confusion, furrowing her brows in a very childlike way.
And Hanna sighed, because the brunette apparently was just that dense.
And really, really adorable. 'Damn you, Spencer'.
"Nothing" the blonde said, standing up from the couch and going to sit on her girlfriend's lap. She clasped her hands around the taller girl's neck and leaned in to kiss her lovingly.
She moved her mouth to the brunette's neck and began to suck on it, intently leaving a noticeable hickey.
However, as she purposefully kept an eye open, she scanned the room and locked gaze with a slightly gaping Sabrina.
Hanna smirked at this and kissed Spencer anew, this time almost ferociously, forgetting all about the barista – or the other people around for that matter.
'Yeah, that's right: she's mine. Suck it up, bitch'
Spencer pulled away only when air became a necessity. They were both breathless.
She looked up with a darkened gaze into Hanna's eyes and noticed that they were now dark too. Her heart pounded in her chest.
"Han, let's go home" Spencer husked into the smaller girl's ear. "Like, right now"
"Oh, but you have yet to finish your treat" Hanna teasingly pointed towards the half eaten pastry on the plate. "Wouldn't want to upset Sabrina, now, would we?"
So yeah, she was still pissed as hell after all.
"I don't give a shit about her" Spencer groaned rather rudely.
She really didn't mean it to say such harsh words, but after the way her girlfriend had just kissed her well… she was preoccupied with other things just now, she couldn't care less about etiquette and good manners.
"I want you" she growled.
That was all Hanna needed and wanted to hear.
They hastily bade their goodbyes to their two flabbergasted friends and hurriedly left the place, sprinting towards Spencer's car.
[Many hours later, Spencer's bedroom]
"Hey there, sleepy head" Spencer murmured softly stroking the blonde's cheek.
"Hey" Hanna smiled lazily up at her. "That was amazing, Spence" she grinned. "How long was I passed out?"
"Mmm" Spencer mumbled, already starting a new assault on her lover's body. "'bout ten minutes" she replied.
"Gosh, you're insatiable! Where do you get all this stamina?" Hanna groaned, half in frustration half in pleasure. "We're going at it for, like, the ninth time"
"Mmm" the brunette was too occupied nibbling and biting at the blonde's collarbone to formulate a full sentence.
"Do you- do you realize that sex can also be an addiction, right?"
"Hanna, shut up. Sex now, talk later"
"Did you just shush me?" the blonde asked bewildered. "Spencer Hastings, did you just shu- Oooh God, don't stop! Don't fucking stop" she hissed as the brunette sucked on a particular sensitive spot on her breasts.
"That's what I thought" Spencer smirked.
"Oh, don't get so cocky with me missy" Hanna slapped her on the shoulder.
"Or else?" the brunette raised an eyebrow in challenge.
"I just happen to have the greatest collection of undergarments as you're well aware, so if that's not enough to make you behave, well that's going to be your problem and someone's else joy" Hanna teased.
But Spencer actually seemed to ponder this carefully.
"Noted" she dutifully nodded.
"Good girl" the blonde patted her head affectionately. "And now that we're clear, you may resume your previous activities" she graciously offered.
"Yeah, yeah…" Spencer grumbled. "Really feelin' the love here"
"Any complaints?" Hanna challenged, pulling slightly away.
"No no no, gosh no. Come back here! Hannaaa" the brunette laughed.
"God, you're obsessed I swear!"
"You said it yourself, sex can also be and addiction" she defended herself. "And, I happen to be soo addicted to you" she wiggled her eyebrows comically.
"Dork" the blonde giggled. "That was so lame"
"Mmm, I'll concede you that. Though it's true" Spencer smiled. "Now, get your ass back here"
"Fiiine" Hanna huffed, "if I must…" she smirked.
"Well, it's not like you have to. If you don't want to, I'm sure Sabrina will be more than happy to take your spot in my bed" Spencer snickered and waited.
'One, two, three…'
"Wait, so you did know!" her girlfriend exclaimed, completely aghast. "SPENCER!"
A/N: Thank you all for reading and sharing your thoughts on this story.
To the anonymous guest: The Smiths, indeed ;) I just couldn't stop listening to that song for like ten days in a row. Guess I went through one of my moods lately.
So, next chapter another time-skip. Spanna during their years in college. I think I'll end this story around chapter 23 (Epilogue included). Just so you know. Hope you'll stay with me ;)