Unfortunate- Another one of Hiccup's injuries brings the Riders to realize a few things. Requested by... thepurplewriter333! (Okay, I had to write this, mwhahahaha)
OKAY GUYS, BEFORE YOU READ THIS, KNOW ONE THING: THIS IS KIND OF A JOKE. DON'T WORRY, IT WILL ALL MAKE SENSE AS YOU READ ALONG. OKAY? OKAY! JUST DONT JUDGE. ;D
Anywho, thank you for your awesome reviews last chapter! They really made my day! :) And a few of you were confused of whether Hiccup was blind or not last time, so I'll explain what happened: Stoick told Hiccup to blink twice if Hiccup saw him. (If he wasn't blind, that is.) After a moment of hesitation, Hiccup DID BLINK, therefore it tells you that he's not blind. :)
Okay, enough of my ranting, let's get to this crazy chapter! XD (P.S. It's kind of like my other single one-shot I wrote a few days back, Revelation. So if you like this one, I'd recommend that other separate one-shot to read next. :)
It was another peaceful day on the Edge, or so Hiccup had assumed before he went to work in the makeshift-forge he had placed in the clubhouse. He had wanted to focus more on his fire sword, Inferno, as well as cleverly never giving away to his viewers (or to any logical scientists watching, for that matter) the secret of how this brilliant invention worked.
As he pounded away merrily at his sword, all the while looking completely and totally handsome as he did every time he was working, suddenly Inferno slipped off the edge of the table, slicing down his right leg before clanking to the floor.
Hiccup yelped at the pain that then came to him. Collapsing in a crumpled heap on the ground, his head hit the floor with a sounding thump, and made his vision swim. He only had enough time left to arrange his beautiful locks of hair to tousled perfection, and then utter a faint cry of "Astrid!" before succumbing to the pain.
Astrid couldn't work out why Hiccup wished to work on his sword so much, and was just strolling by the front door of the clubhouse to ask him, when a cry of "Astrid!" rang through the air. The other Riders just so happened to conveniently appear right at that moment on their dragons, and they all raced inside to see Hiccup limply lying on the floor. His forehead was already beaded with small drops of sweat, but it turned out that it only added to his overall gorgeousness.
Snotlout quickly raced over and scooped up the unconscious Hiccup in his arms, carrying the body over to the rest of the worried Riders. "Good thing Hiccup's so portable, what with all the unfortunate accidents he has," he noted loudly, and the others found themselves nodding.
"Let's get him back to his hut. Fishlegs, you and the twins go back and get Gothi from Berk," Astrid ordered, her piercing blue eyes frantically drifting back from Hiccup to the other Riders.
Fishlegs murmured an agreement, and herded the twins back over to their dragon.
"Is this the time when we don't care to acknowledge the fact that Berk is over thirty hours away from here, though we will still get back here way before our actual due date would really be?" Tuffnut asked, cocking his head.
"Yep," Astrid replied. "Now go and get the healer!"
With a big grin, Fishlegs, Tuffnut, and Ruffnut took off into the air. They all loved going to get Gothi. It was their one job around here- they were barely required to do anything else during these unfortunate whumps of Hiccup's. But Fishlegs frowned a second later, remembering an incident from a few months back. He did recall one time when Astrid had told him to 'get the car and get the healer.' He hadn't understood the first part at all, but Astrid had been under a lot of stress, what with Hiccup nearly drowning that day in the midst of saving a dragon.
As soon as the twins and Fishlegs left, Astrid turned to Snotlout and the unconscious Hiccup. "Let's hope Hiccup's hut is in the same place as it was last night," she said with a sorrowful look at her boyfriend who dangled limply in his cousin's arms. "I'm so tired of it moving back to those unknown places that are never completely shown on screen."
It was unfortunately true that nearly every night on the Edge, all the Riders' huts changed positions, as well as the table in the clubhouse did too. One day Astrid would wake up with her hut overlooking the calm and wide ocean, the next it was right across from Hiccup's hut, with her furniture all rearranged into different places than from the night before.
After a couple minutes of searching for Hiccup's quarters, Snotlout let out a cry of frustration. "I don't believe it! His hut has moved again!"
"Wait, there it is," Astrid pointed out, gesturing to the other end of the base. "Good thing it hasn't moved all the way to the cliffs again."
"Yeah. And it's not like last time either, when his hut just completely vanished for several days on end, because he wasn't using it on screen."
At last, the two arrived at their leader's hut, and tenderly lifted him up to his loft where he then rested unconscious in bed. "I wonder when he'll wake up," Astrid mused, leaning against the creaky wall. "I guess in the meantime we'll have to take turns wiping his fevered brow."
The thought of doing this made Snotlout yawn hugely. He always fell asleep when it was his turn to watch over Hiccup.
A few hours later, however, after several turns of wiping Hiccup's hot brow, Fishlegs and the twins arrived with Stoick, Gobber, and Gothi, who rushed inside Hiccup's hut quickly. "We ignored the fact that Berk is many many many hours away, just to get here faster for the sake of the show!" Fishlegs offered, appearing at the top of the loft.
"Great work, Fishlegs," Astrid smiled.
The twins followed after him, along with Stoick, Gobber, and Gothi who stared at Hiccup with concern. Meanwhile, Hiccup was making piteous moans, indicating that he was in dreadful pain and suffering tremendously, but was being incredibly brave and manly at the same time.
"Hiccup!" Stoick cried at the sight of his unconscious son. It was his favourite line, because it was so easy to remember. It fitted all occasions from terror (where Hiccup looked as though he would be killed) to delight. (Hiccup had finally come to visit Berk, as he did just once a season!)
At Stoick's loud voice, Hiccup jolted awake with a start. His father's tones weren't exactly meant for a sickroom, and were enough to wake any unconscious person up. "Dad?" he whispered, lifting his head from his pillow ever so slightly. His tousled hair was still placed into pristine perfection, making him look even more handsome than before. He raised his voice slightly louder for more effect. "Dad!"
"I thought you were just knocked out?" Astrid said in a confused tone.
Hiccup smiled bravely, already back to complete consciousness by now. "It's just a Haddock Head Wound: a hard blow to the head which knocks you out a treat, but has absolutely no other side effects whatsoever!"
Stoick took up the story happily. "In many ways it's really rather similar to the classic "bloodless battle wound", which Hiccup models so well in numerous episodes and fanfictions. You know there's been a major injury, but there's remarkably little to no blood at all! Look at Midnight Scrum, for instance. No bruises or cuts despite the rough treatment he was under for over a day, and even that entire incident had been forgotten by the following episode!"
Sure enough, when the Riders examined Hiccup's cut leg carefully, they could see that there was very little blood indeed. Hiccup closed his eyes and winced in a brave way, then tossed his head fitfully on the pillow and moved his legs in an agitated fashion.
"He suffers so well!" Snotlout said in a hushed undertone, as Gothi came in bearing a bowl of steaming water and a pile of cloths.
"Oooh! Is it time to gently wipe Hiccup's fevered brow yet?" Ruffnut inquired, standing up from her seat with excitement.
Stoick, suddenly feeling left out of the normal caring-for-Hiccup-after-a-whump treatment, shook his head and grabbed the bowl from a surprised Gothi. "It's my turn to wipe his brow this time," he insisted loudly, eyeing the other Riders. "Like I always do."
"Sorry, but we already wiped his fevered brow, Chief," Snotlout cut in smugly. "Hiccup's fine now."
The announcement aroused a chorus of angry cries from everyone else, but Gothi held up an irritated hand, silencing them all. Truth be told, she was none too pleased at being summoned by the Riders yet again. She spent so much time attending to all their various mishaps that the rest of her medical practice had practically dwindled away to nothing, and her waiting room was nearly always empty. Well, all except when Hiccup came on screen, in which several actors were hired to feign different injuries to give the show a more realistic effect.
Then there was that time in Eye of the Beholder when Gothi had a change with more than usual patients streaming in for her medical care, but then the Riders had interfered and insisted on making her take them to Glacier Island instead, leaving Gobber the job of taking care of her patients. She still hadn't forgiven them for that, as business had never been the same afterward.
Gothi examined the suffering Hiccup casually, and then dissolved a pain powder in a glass of water, and watched Hiccup drink it down. This was one of her pleasures of being the only healer around on the show. She didn't bother with more advanced medicines for the Riders. Well, it was expensive, and besides, it was so much more enjoyable watching all the faces Hiccup made when swallowing it.
She scribbled something down on the floor (which had already been covered with sand, despite having never been mentioned or talked about it being placed down before), and stepped back as Gobber read it aloud.
"He'll be fine, Stoick," Gobber read, in the immortal line Gothi told him to say so often in other fanfics and episodes. "Give him some more medicine, and he'll be up and cured in no time."
"You know, you really should sell that medicine to the public, Gothi," Astrid chided. "No matter what kind of illness or injury Hiccup has, it's always the cure! I bet you could make lots of money off of it."
Gothi considered this thoughtfully, and slowly smiled. Yes, maybe that could work… She nodded, and then scratched something more down upon the floor.
Gobber cleared his throat, and then read the words. "She says we'll need to get some liquids and food into him so he'll heal properly. He'll be weak from blood loss for some time-"
"-though there was extremely little blood, because it's a kid's show," Ruffnut interjected.
"-but will be perfectly fine in no time," Gobber finished up, once again mentioning the "he'll be fine!" line.
Hiccup frowned, troubled with the news. "But... we never eat at the Edge," he protested. "Well, unless Heather is around to cook for us. We've actually eaten less than five times on the show in the past few years. Such as in the episodes To Heather or Not to Heather, and Saving Shattermaster. But I didn't even eat in that last episode- it was just Snotlout and the twins!"
"It's true," Astrid sighed. "And we haven't drank anything for awhile now, either."
"I think I drank a little bit in Saving Shattermaster," Snotlout offered. "But that was just when the twins squirted some water into my mouth before I had to bravely protect Mala from that arrow." He silently cursed. "Throk so missed his target on purpose…"
Stoick's eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Well, then. It seems we'll have to feed you something good… how about broth?"
Hiccup fell back into his perfectly fluffed pillows, making a face of repulsement. From beside him, Astrid wondered how one could still look so stunningly beautiful when looking so disgusted. "Dad, I always have to have broth after a whump in fanfics!" the young heir complained loudly. "Or soup, though it always does me no good."
"Yeah, why can't we have a nice steak for once?" Snotlout chimed in. "What's preventing us from having the good stuff?"
Tuffnut grinned. "Yeah! Or chicken!" When everyone turned to stare at him with evident surprise, he refused to betray any signs of shame. "Yeah, like you weren't thinking it too!"
"How about some bread and water?" Stoick was getting a tad desperate, already annoyed with the Riders' growing complaints. "It's simple, straight to the point, and filling. Hmm? How about it then?"
Fishlegs' face fell. He had been hoping for something a little more meaty.
"Ugh, fine," Tuffnut said. "But I want it to be diet water!"
"Okay, that'll do," Gobber interrupted, laughing nervously. "Hiccup will be fine. He's always fine, after all! No whump is too whumpy for him."
Gothi nodded in agreement, already packing up her things.
Stoick looked down at Hiccup, who was looking much better despite the extremely little treatment Gothi had offered, and he held one of his son's attractive hands tenderly. "You'll be all right now, Hiccup!" he grinned, and wondered if his boy ever went for a manicure to get his hands to look so flawless. He reached over to stroke the wonderful locks of Hiccup's hair lovingly, unable to help himself.
Astrid sighed once more. "A Hiccup/Stoick moment," she said, with a little catch in her tone. "And after a beautiful whump!"
Snotlout couldn't find his voice, which was a very unusual occurrence. He simply drank his fill of this most essential of Race to the Edge moments, still waiting for the Hiccstrid moment that would follow shortly after.
Looking over at them all, Hiccup smiled. "Thanks, guys. I do appreciate how you stick by me during my countless whumps."
"You do suffer so wonderfully," Astrid insisted. "The way you move you legs, telling us silently that you're in agony but bravely being a man about it. The moaning, and calling for your father and friends..."
"And the best bit is," Fishlegs began excitedly, "you'll be back to normal again in a day or two, ready to be whumped on next week's episode, or the next fanfic story!"
Hiccup glanced at Stoick, wide-eyed at the thought, and caught his father struggling with laughter. "Oh, Dad!" he said dramatically, and Stoick stroked his hair again.
"That's your best line, Hiccup," the chief laughed. "Say it again!"
"Oh, Daaaaaaaaaaaaaad!"
The Riders chuckled, but Hiccup could tell by a certain gleam in their eyes that they were already eagerly awaiting to see how his following whump would be next time.
And he was absolutely sure it would be just as unfortunate as always.
Haha, did you guys like it? Hope ya did! Let me know which part was your favorite, and if you want more of these crazy little one-shots in the future!
Whelp, I'll be skedaddling along now, and if you could leave a review, that would be awesome. :D See you guys next one-shot! (Sorry for my absolute randomness, hehe.)
-thepurplewriter333