Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto or any of the characters in it.

XVII.

"Have you seen Sakura?" Jakushi entered the room with her sketches near at hand. "I saw her half an hour ago in the kitchen. Is she out?"

"No, she's here," Itachi replied, without moving.

Jakushi raised a brow. What kind of an answer was that?

"Where is that here exactly?"

"She's..." Itachi raised his eyes from the book in his hands. "Should be with..."

"Yes?" Jakushi incited, in confusion.

"With Sasuke." He announced at the end, winning over his inconvenience, eyes down at the book again.

Jakushi stiffened a bit at the awkward situation she put herself in. Is she knew the answer, she wouldn't have asked at all. Obviously, she made it awkward for Itachi too. She neared the kotatsu table he was sitting at and sat down across.

"Do the glasses help in any way?" Jakushi tried to break the horrifying silence that threatened to destroy the whole afternoon.

"They help enough."

Jakushi wondered what's with the perfectly even intonation. She left the sketchbook and slowly neared his side of the table.

"Can I see?"

Itachi looked at her for a moment, attempting to decode her intentions. However, her silent insistence worked flawlessly and he submitted sooner or later. In fact, he never seemed to decline any of her wishes. It wasn't like that in an argument, though. He insisted on being right, all the time. It wasn't that great of a peculiarity but definitely something to think about.

Jakushi's expression twisted in a grimace of horror once she raised the glasses up to the light so that she could see better. The dioptre was so big that she was sure to ruin her eyes if she had them on for five minutes.

"These don't help?" She slid her hands back down, eyes widened. Whoever revived him sure had a cruel sense of humor. His vision still was really bad.

Jakushi returned the glasses but her palm involuntarily reached for his face, touching it carefully. He did freeze, of course. Why couldn't she heal with a touch? She'd give everything to be able to. And how do you help someone who does not accept a foreign touch for normal? A single thought ran through her mind for a second and she blinked, feeling the instant heat that was surely visible on her pale skin. She was sure her face was giving her out and that's why she shifted away both eyes and body. Perhaps she did it too abruptly.

His eyes were on her for a while and she could swear that this time he truly read her mind. A small part of her counted on it.

As she found herself on her previous place, her hand grabbed the charcoal she had recently acquired and started molding a crescent with a few light movements. Charcoal drawings had some kind of a charm the graphite could never express. Softness of the forms.

When she raised up her eyes once again, Itachi was observing his glasses thoughtfully.

"I can try something." She spoke and drew his attention. "Could improve your eyesight."

He smiled. A mocking smile.

"Did I say something funny?"

"You can't heal my eyes."

Jakushi's gaze fell down on the white sheet. The sphere obtained the shape of something rather familiar... a fan.

"Sakura makes a lot of experiments with your brother. She's convinced some of them work."

"Is that what he tells her?" Itachi lifted up his book, rebuffing her quite mercilessly.

Jakushi put the charcoal down in anger.

"Stay like that, if you wish. I'm sure it's great seeing only blurred spots on twenty-two."

"I'm not complaining."

"Masochist." She snapped, grabbing the charcoal in order to draw again but he began to laugh.

She could swear that everything inside her turned over in a painful spasm when she heard him laugh. Well, that was the first time. With every time after that, it only became worse. Her eyes were nailed on him. Not a second of this phenomenon shouldn't be missed.

"I don't understand why you're laughing since you fit the description perfectly."

"You are the doctor." He nodded and put on his glasses.

"That's right." She narrowed eyes, resisting the strong urge to near him again.

The artist inside of her insisted on taking a closer look. The marble skin that seemed to be a family trait, for Sasuke too had this characteristic paleness, appeared impossibly smooth and created the impression of him being constantly sick. Perhaps it was the contrast that created that wholesome image.

The contrast was the one thing she noticed when she first laid eyes on him. With Sasuke, there was a harmony of black and white but Itachi could truly scare someone who's not used to it. Shinobi or not, it wasn't comfortable to have an activated Sharingan in front of you, in every conversation. Getting used to it was hard. But as a whole... getting used to the other things was way easier.

Itachi hadn't his brother's habit of dressing up with whatever or forgetting to button up his shirt. Itachi was always with at least two layers of clothes, covered from head to toe, perfectly smoothed out. Matched in color.

Jakushi smiled at the thought. There was something extremely insane in all this. For the first time in her life, she came across a representative of the opposite sex so unnaturally neat and with a surprising lack of interest in showing off skin. Of course, he did roll up his sleeves once but it was more than enough to increase her heartbeat.

Now that she thought about it, his delicacy was so much more attractive than anything she had seen, as a behavior, around her. She was used to witnessing all of Sakura's friends, their free skin show. Sai and Ino had no equals and sometimes awoke strong irritation, having bodies molded by a sculptor.

The rain outside fell drowsily as if intentionally dragging one's thoughts towards sleep. Jakushi had made a few plans of going out with Sakura because the weather was way better yesterday but a few dark clouds ruined everything. Well, not everything. They opened up the opportunity of her practicing her hobby.

Thoughts filled her mind once again, as she looked at her drawing. It was a symbol of a lost clan. An irony of fate, the one who extinguished it was sitting across her. At the same time, the title of leader was falling on Itachi by right, being the firstborn and heir of the last one. And so, as Sakura and Sasuke were going, perhaps the clan had a real chance of blooming again. Never again pure, though. The tradition, demanding a union between two individuals, both of the Uchiha clan, couldn't be kept anymore. Jakushi was sure Sasuke thought about that.

She slightly bit her lip.

The possible reason why he took so much time before accepting Sakura. Although she was a rare beauty through her eyes, Sasuke probably saw her as the annihilation of his pure blood. With or without Itachi, that didn't change. Both of them were the last in the line of a great clan.

"Actually, what brings you here?" Jakushi asked, out of curiosity. "I thought everyone's in their room. They usually are, when it's so quiet."

She left the charcoal and passed her tips through the curves, spreading the black color along the surface.

"Everywhere else in the house is cold so I decided to stay here."

"It isn't, in my room," Jakushi announced unceremoniously and Itachi raised his eyes to her in surprise.

She stopped and looked at him.

What of it?

There was something like a radio silence in her head since the moment she spoke. As if she spoke and there was no answer from the other side. Neither from her conscience nor from her common sense. Nothing of the things that usually alerted should something weird slipped off her tongue.

Why not?

Did she have to pretend she didn't want to say it? What if it sounded horrible from her mouth? She had absolutely no regrets about it. Perhaps she had to have... some, at least. There was no answer coming to her, it was empty inside of her head. On the other side, Itachi stood without making a single move, watching her as if struck by a lightning.

Sakura did mention once or twice that in noble families the first physical connection occurred after the wedding. What she also mentioned was that she felt bad for destroying such a tradition. Although she didn't make the first step. Itachi was definitely going to take hard such a violation. He was a couple of times more conservative and reserved than his brother. In contrast to Sakura, though, Jakushi was honest and didn't see the point of ambiguity, expressed in an eternal wait for a right time or right place.

Jakushi waited for a reaction but he just exercised his perfect stillness in one long moment.

"Excuse me." He stood up sharply and left the room with his book.

An awry smile curved Jakushi's lips. She didn't even feel guilty, which was surprising, knowing what she just caused. Definitely added more hours of mental torment upon his already troubled mind but the offer was an offer. The fact that it sounded like a crime when she said it out loud was another question.

She took on with her drawing, sure that it still needed one important detail. The black flames.

The sudden sound of knocking on her door startled her. She had almost fallen asleep and it was pitch black outside, flood rain pouring with a calming consistency. Jakushi heaved up and lit up the gas lamp next to her. Funny, the few rooms for guests were of the oldest part of the house and also the ones that were not renewed in any modern way in contrast to the main rooms that had now more of an advanced interior.

So she had to use a light of some kind and that particular gas lamp absolutely won her affection. Sakura was concerned that living in that room would feel a bit medieval but Jakushi was on the seventh heaven with a soft mattress, directly on the wooden floor and a gas lamp to cast soft light upon the beautiful fusuma. It sure felt as if spending a week in a crack of time.

Her eyes narrowed at the light, though it was at its weakest and not that irritating for her maladjusted sight. Semi-darkness, semi-light. The hour sure was early... The rain drummed at the engawa loud enough. She must have imagined.

She slowly stood up in order to check the door, pain in her heart as she parted with the warm blankets.

"Wait..." Wrested out of her lips instinctively as she saw Itachi already retreating in the moment she opened.

He stopped for a moment before turning around with uncertainty. Jakushi shifted backward and gestured him to come in, without using her voice. Probably everyone was in a deep sleep already. There was long hesitation within him but he eventually gave up because she insisted.

Jakushi quietly closed the door behind him and headed straight to her bed again, feeling the chill in the air. It was that cold and she didn't even put something over her t-shirt with which she slept. Surrounding Itachi indifferently, she sat down on the mattress, enveloping herself in the thick blankets. After a whole minute of ensconcing, her attention finally averted to him.

"Are you gonna stay like that the whole evening? In the middle of the room?" She smiled, eyeing him suspiciously. "If you like it, you can stand by the wall so that you don't scare me throughout the night."

"Where do you want me to stand?" Itachi asked, freezing off her humor with his typical, even politeness.

He wasn't in the mood for humor. Jakushi was comparatively good at reading moods, although his were rather elusive. She loosened her grip of the blankets and they fell around her.

"Come to me."

Itachi neared her and sat in front of her, looking down.

"You could've knocked again."

"I know."

Jakushi took a breath and exhaled lightly. The tiredness scattered a bit with focusing on a conversation. Itachi was never easy to talk with and she often had to exert a lot of her herself. Strange but she imagined it as a machine with multiple small gear-wheels that needed her attention before the whole thing starts working properly.

"Are you alright?" Jakushi asked carefully, deciding it's a proper beginning of a midnight conversation.

"No."

Silence spread after the next short reply. She neared him as close as she could without touching.

"What is it?" The tinge of worry could not be hidden.

She didn't expect such answers. The air seemed to be oddly wired around them.

"I... can't sleep."

Itachi being completely honest was what frightened her. The time of midnight surely affected people in a way, everyone turned into their real forms.

"Of course you can't, you declined the best offer of your life a few hours ago." Jakushi chuckled, this time touching their foreheads gently.

But he didn't make decisions so lightly and she knew she had to get ready for questions, objections, maybe a dispute...

Truth was, it was way too early for such a suggestion. They knew each other for a bit more than a month. Thinking about it, Jakushi reached the conclusion that her words were instinctive and rather hasty. Though, the situation was unusual.

Jakushi was convinced they both thought about it, a lot. Just that she was unscrupulously blunt and Itachi would've preferred death over a suggestion of the sort. For the last days, spending the time under one roof just magnetized and maddened them at the same time. The single touch or look never seemed to be enough but no one ever crossed the line.

"Concerning..." He started, slightly pulling away from her touch.

"It's still valid." Jakushi smiled, searching for his eyes in an attempt to read the emotion correctly.

Everyone would quit talking now but in this case, words just had a calming effect. Perhaps she had to continue talking.

Itachi was far from calm, though, his eyes feared to meet hers. As if he had thought about what to say but he wasn't sure in it anymore.

"I think I was harsher than I wanted to. I didn't want it to sound..." He tried to explain but stopped, not liking how it turned out. So he started again. "There's nothing wrong with you."

"Okay." Jakushi nodded, not sure whether to laugh or cry.

"I needed a little time." Itachi finally gathered the courage to look at her. "To think."

"A little?" Jakushi's intonation raised, her voice suddenly shaking. "Do you know what... enrages me?"

"I'd love to hear."

She made a pause in which she tried to contain her anger in normal words.

"When you pretend. That everything's fine." Holding the bitterness was a hard task, threatening to bring tears to her eyes. Her voice sunk lower and lower. "That you don't need anyone or anything."

She exhaled and covered her face with hands. Sometimes she wanted to curse herself for getting upset so easily.

"It's breaking my heart... " Jakushi spoke again, hoarsely. "Do you understand?"

Itachi pulled her hand and hugged her round the waist, whereat she replied without opposition.

"You're crying for me." He noted quietly, continuing to torment her.

It really was hardly possible to see tears intended for him. Such statements were like physical hits to her and she wasn't sure he fully comprehends that.

"If you were the next idiot, I wouldn't shed a tear, you know." Jakushi murmured.

"A compliment?" Itachi exclaimed with quiet surprise.

"Yes, a compliment. Remember it well."

Both stood still and silent for a while. The drumming of the raindrops outside was rather rhythmical and the sound repeated, hypnotizing everyone who listened to it. It lulled pleasantly and it didn't show any signs of stopping soon.

"I'm not lying to you. I just don't demand anything."

"Yes, you do." Jakushi pulled away, nettled at his remark.

Now that their faces were inches away from one another, it was a couple of times harder to argue. Wasn't it really despair that his eyes held every time she parted from him after a kiss or a touch? The silence wasn't a barrier, she was good at reading emotions. Although not in possession of a Sharingan that could help her read people's thoughts.

Itachi wasn't in the least affected by her temperamental reply, scrutinizing the curve of her neck down her bare shoulder with maddening composure. Jakushi didn't move, aware that her big t-shirt had slipped down a bit.

"You can't just offer me your body like that." His gaze returned to her lips and stayed there.

"Goodness!' Jakushi exclaimed in astonishment. "What does that mean? I'm not selling, I'm offering you. There's a difference. How dare you?"

He just smiled. But it pierced through her so deeply. It was as if she witnessed a person who has forgotten what joy is. Always, wherever pain had passed through, that's what the outcome looked like. The same happened with her but she overcame it, constantly surrounded by her friends, her family. It wasn't like that with him. He was alone and has always been alone, along with his shadow.

That was hard to erase. The massive darkness, clinging to you day and night, tightening the grip minutely, possessively and silently. And time did not heal, it only increased the pain. That phrase was surely invented by someone who hasn't lost anyone. All time did was outlining the void more distinctly.

Jakushi knew the feeling and wouldn't wish it upon her worst enemies. She knew how much it hurt because the struggle to shake it off took her an eternity. Still, she hasn't got rid of it completely herself. That's why she understood perfectly Itachi's reaction in the afternoon.

When you get used to the pain, joy becomes unknown. And everyone's scared of the unknown. Itachi had a lot of wounds but healing has always been her thing. Fortunately, she wasn't scared and she didn't give up.

Jakushi leaned to kiss him, forgetting that she was about to argue on the subject of her own dignity.

"It pains me..." She exhaled, continuing her kiss slowly. "...to see you like this."

Not until they parted to catch a breath, both felt how nervous they previously were. She had neared him again, in an attempt to make him get used to her presence. The fact that they had only kissed by now didn't help much, it wasn't easy even being close because he, apparently, didn't trust himself.

Jakushi could almost hear his thoughts when their eyes peered into one another. Hear his fears. The Sharingan wasn't able to hide them. She bit her lip, admiring his remarkable ability to lock up everything under an impenetrable silence. There was something classically charming in that.

"Why-

"Because I decided it." She cut him off without a drop of regret and gave him a smile, leaning in. "Is it a problem for you?"

He slightly backed away, still in the unique state of painful thoughtfulness.

"I don't know."

"Didn't you come up with something by now?" Jakushi laughed quietly. "I'm flattered you've thought about me till three in the morning. And that you're visiting my room. Very kind of you."

Jakushi remained silent for a second, infected by his mood. She took his hand in hers and her icy fingers made a slow circle on his palm.

"I don't know is an ambiguous answer."

"I can't allow myself any more mistakes. I'm sure you understand." Itachi averted his eyes from her, almost angry. "Mistakes tend to transform into a disaster."

"Disaster?" Jakushi asked quietly, as an echo. This word... sounded familiar. She'd heard it before. Only she couldn't... remember. Her fingers slightly increased their pressure and a torn sigh escaped his lips.

"I have to go."

Jakushi held another outburst of anger. Her patience was running out.

"Are you scared of this too?"

She shifted close enough to touch his temple with her nose.

"You're not going to hurt anyone and nothing bad is gonna happen. You know that, right?"

Itachi was completely static, as if in fear that a movement would change his mind.

"I know it's hard for you but you can't fix some things on your own, even if you want to. Itachi." Jakushi made him turn to her. "Let me help you."

"You have... nothing against it?"

"Boys really are bad with hints, aren't they?" She gave him an awry smile, happy to break through the defenses.

Her body pasted to his, her fingers sneaked to the string that kept his hair tied and pulled it, laughing at his barely noticeable tremble.

"Why do I feel like you had this in your long-existent plans?" Itachi narrowed eyes at her.

"Do you have any idea how many girls have dreamt doing it?" Jakushi was still chuckling but her laugh ceased at the end of her sentence with the single movement of him, taking off his shirt.

"Of course I do. That's not the problem." He said evenly but the pink on her face apparently amused him. "The problem is..."

"Yes?" She swallowed, trying to keep up with the conversation with a puff of her chest as if nothing happened.

"It has become annoying. I think it's best I cut it."

"No!" She met his eyes in horror. "Absolutely not."

"Do you like it?" Itachi pulled her closer, touching the base of her neck with his lips.

Jakushi pricked at the warm breath she felt on her skin, in a terrible contrast with the cold air in the room. It was a strange feeling, when her numb fingers rested carefully on his shoulder and for the first time, he didn't react visibly.

"You can't cut your hair. That's an order." Jakushi tried to sound firm but her voice has never been so weak.

With every touch she gave up more and more, shifting backward. Not aware how he had stripped her off her t-shirt, she was now laying on her sheets in anticipation. The self-control wasn't in her blood but apparently, it was a distinguished trait of Itachi's because he kissed her for minutes that seemed like hours, with iron patience and maddening precision.

Jakushi sunk in semi-consciousness, trying to cooperate but he just didn't let her move while his thorough inspection still lasted. She had the desire to take a revenge for that slow torture but was too weak to object.

At least not until he lost his patience and their bodies intertwined. Itachi slowed down his movements almost to none but Jakushi saw her chance and heaved up, her legs wrapped tightly around him and her back, slightly arched. A quiet moan escaped his lips and she did repeat her experiment while he still tried to normalize his breathing.

"Jakushi, stop it." His failed attempt to sound intimidating reached her ears and she furrowed.

"Not a chance." Jakushi mouthed and bit her lip with a frail, triumphant smile, in full awareness that she's won. The most terrifying moment in the life of an Uchiha was probably losing control over their body.

It really did cost him a lot, she felt it. It was his nature to be so terribly unobtrusive but she didn't believe that was what he truly was like. The barriers seemed to still be there, although his body surely did surrender to her.

"It's not fair..." He replied with the softest tone, leaving her to exert her will however she liked.

Jakushi was entranced with the sound of his voice, thinking about how that was, most likely, the only duel in which she was stronger. His senses, previously sharpened to pain, now couldn't seem to adjust to the pleasure, continuing with that odd behavior of freely reaching for her but when she tried something, he stopped her.

Overall he had acquired such a vulnerable form, or rather weakness, that she had never thought he could found himself in. A wounded soul, without the power, the patience and the firmness, that were constantly on display, fully dependent on her touch as if it granted absolution, melted her whole being.

Ignoring the dull pain that appeared in her thighs with every strain he caused, she was completely infatuated by the way he tried to balance between his desire to relish on everything she willingly offered and his grand fear to not hurt or cause pain in any way. Still, at one point she just couldn't bring herself to endure it silently and a quiet groan of pain wrested out of her.

"I'm sorry," Itachi breathed out in her ear and a single sigh of him was enough to cause a spasm throughout her body. "You're just... so soft."

Jakushi couldn't believe him, almost sure the word sorry just rang out in his mind all the time. She didn't really sense exactly when but he had passed through an invisible point of breaking, isolating everything. He was somehow apart from her and at the same time never as close. Perhaps any other time she would've taken advantage of him, in an attempt to prove herself his equal but this time he was helpless. Her own body opposed to an idea of the sort, too busy with its burning state.

She was so naturally and profoundly in love, at the very moment, when their moans tore away from them simultaneously and their bodies alternated straining with relaxing as a clockwork. She was addicted and whatever she told herself to keep away from him by now wasn't true, being without him got her feeling lonely and it corroded her insides.

She doubted that there was anyone else in the world that would beg so humbly for salvation. Oh, her loneliness seemed so pathetically insignificant next to his demons, devouring everything of beauty or joy in his life. Neither sarcasm nor opposition was to her liking now. Right now, their bodies were a pulsing warmth existing in a pure adoration. A thrill of senses that soothed with every touch. And she hoped, that her skin was enough to scatter, even for a brief moment, the shadow he dragged behind.

After a few long minutes, filled with the monotonous rain and their shattered breathing, the parted only to get under the blankets and turn the light off.

"Just don't say things like thank you or some other nonsense like that, alright?" Jakushi whispered with annoyance, half-asleep and already cuddled in the blanket, taking most of the space.

He didn't tell her that, of course, genuinely grateful that she didn't force him completely out of her bed. Jakushi stood still and waited for an answer and somehow was surprised to not receive any. She did feel his smile, though, followed by a most intriguing gesture. Itachi touched her forehead with his lips in one long second. Too tired to think over its meaning, she only felt the calming effect of their bodies laying so close to one another and soon they both gave in to the exhaustion, falling asleep.

A/N: Thanks for reading. Gosh, I didn't have Internet for 4 days in a row because of a harsh storm that happened in my city and I couldn't update. I'm not even kidding, these days were a complete nightmare. I'm back, fortunately, and with a long chapter. Hope you enjoyed it.

P.S. I know generally people (including me) are done with poorly written OCs and I really hope mine is not in the category. I really wanted her likable, a little bit awkward, a little bit brave and most of all compassionate. I wondered if she truly is what I think she is, to the reader. Should I change or add something I haven't thought of?