I had entered an absolute madhouse! That was the only possible explanation! Anne was conspiring to turn Elizabeth against me. I had no idea what stratagem she was using, or why, but she was clearly up to something! She looked at me as you might some particularly loathsome form of vermin, even though just a few hours ago she had looked at me in something more closely approaching approbation than her usual thoroughly dismissive disregard. Something had happened to anger her, but what could have possibly happened when I had not talked to either lady all day?
I knew for certain Elizabeth had been welcoming of my addresses; it had been in every expression of her countenance on our walks these few mornings, in every teasing remark at Netherfield. She must have seen the adoration in my eyes, and she must have understood no man stared at a woman he did not esteem. She must have been both expecting and welcoming my addresses… or was she?
I could just barely keep up with Elizabeth at the best of times in conversation, and to be honest, I am not certain I even always did that. She sometimes seemed to be saying something that was just beyond my reach, just beyond my understanding, just like… just like… Oh Horrors! Just like she spoke to Caroline Bingley!
In a rush, much of what she had said over the weeks of our association came back with an entirely different and not quite so charitable light, just in time for her to pound me practically into the ground with just a dozen or so words.
"I was thinking of Jane, but of course as you know she is heartbroken so might not be that merry."
She had said it as an unambiguous and not to be refuted well known statement of fact, exactly as if she either expected me to already know it, or to tell me that she knew what I was about and was not to be trifled with.
In a panic, I believe I actually recommended the silly sisters visit Rosings, so she had clearly rattled me beyond comprehension. She stared me like a worm for a moment, and then she simply dropped me from her attention like removing a stone from her shoe, and asked Anne in quite a sincere tone if she had gone insane enough to invite Lydia Bennet to Rosings.
Anne's reply sent me nearly into a panic. All five Bennet sisters at Pemberley! At Once!
My cousin glanced over at me looking sweet and innocent, and said, "Oh wait! That will never do! Five unmarried women in a bachelor's home! The ton would catch afire. No, that will never do at all!"
She said that with a mock look of consternation, but she was not fooling me in the least. She was working her way up to something most foul.
She turned back to Elizabeth and added, "You must bring your mother! That will make everything right!"
Her mother – Mrs. Bennet!
Then Anne turned to me and said, "Of course, with so many merry visitors at Pemberley, I imagine we would not want my mother to feel left out, so you must invite her as well."
Like a runaway coach about to dispatch me to the Netherworld forever, she added, "Of course, that will make Pemberley very lady heavy, Darcy. We will need to have our own time for our female pursuits, so of course you must invite Fitzwilliam and that Bingley fellow!"
What was this? Soooo…. Elizabeth must have learned about Bingley and Jane from Anne. I wondered how she had found out. Probably my hubble-bubble cousin, who clearly needed to learn to keep his mouth shut; although I wondered how in the world such a subject could possibly have come up between him and Anne. They never talked about anything of substance, let alone other ladies.
That all made perfect sense! The Colonel told Anne about Miss Bennet and Bingley. Anne, in a tither came over to tell Elizabeth about it straightaway. Elizabeth would have responded with some teasing, which would have flustered Anne, and the mad spiral went downhill until I interrupted them right as they were trying to decide whether to have me transported or just hanged. It all made perfect sense.
Now, somehow, unless I challenged Anne directly, I would have Pemberley full of Bennet women, including her mother.
Well, three could play at this game… although, a more careful examination found Elizabeth sitting there with her mouth hanging open, entirely bereft of speech. I had sat with her for a half hour without her speaking once in Netherfield, but that was more a contest of wills than anything else. Here, she was simply stunned into silence; and Anne was sitting there smiling like the cat that had to decide between the canary and the cream, and was torn with indecision.
Anne then turned to me sweetly, and said, "Oh, I am sorry Darcy. I did not bother to ask if Pemberley can afford eight guests. Will it stretch your resources too thin?"
Now she was batting her eyes at me like Miss Lydia, just wanting for me to say something stupid. What kind of a ridiculous question was that? She knew perfectly well Pemberley could afford to host anything from a dozen to a hundred. Why had she used those particular words? Was someone spreading rumors about Pemberley and she was silly enough to believe them?
"I assure you Anne; Pemberley can host all of those and more without the slightest strain."
She raised an eyebrow in an expression I knew for certain she had copied from Miss Elizabeth, while that selfsame lady sat there either stunned into silence or enjoying herself immensely. I imagined she was quickly moving from the former to the latter.
Anne then said, "So, your habits of expense do not strain it too much?"
What a bizarre question, and what the blazes was a habit of expense?
"I assure you Anne; I have no habits that Pemberley cannot afford."
She just sniggered at that, and said, "Well then, it is all settled then! Saturday week?"
I had no idea how or when or more importantly why I had agreed, but if Elizabeth was to come to Pemberley, I would accept any consequences that came with it. That would give me some time to see where the devil I had gone wrong.
A/N: That's it for the first day. All the chapters will be short like these I suspect.