A/N: In my humble opinion, this chapter was…nicely done. Let me know if you agree once you're through reading.
Waking up came just as easy as falling asleep the night before. As he slid out of his bed to go grab a fresh pair of clothes, Lincoln had a feeling that he wasn't early to rise, given how he could hear giddy children playing right outside his window—something that he couldn't imagine waking up to early on a Sunday morning.
Once he had his attire laid out on his bed, the next step was to head to the bathroom to freshen up. Since he was the clearly the last to wake up, that meant that there'd be no line to get to the bathroom—a thought that pleased him; nothing like a warm, relaxing shower before getting started on homework.
Upon opening his door, Lincoln was rendered baffled by the sight before him; there, huddled up in a group, were Lori, Luan, Lynn, Lola, and Lisa, who all sported big, shiny grins.
"Good morning, Lincoln!" they said in unison.
Lincoln looked at his sisters all at once, too stunned to do anything but gaze at them in bewilderment.
"Good…morning," he finally managed to say after a good ten seconds of silence.
Lola broke away from the huddle to shuffle up to him and nuzzle her face against his torso as she hugged him tightly.
"We're so glad that you've finally woken up, sleepyhead!" Lola said. "We've been waiting for you to get up for hours!"
Lincoln's eyelids nearly tore off as they raised up in a flash from shock. 'Hours?!'
It was Luan's turn to get up close and personal with him now as she walked around him and slung an arm around his shoulder, then pressed her cheek against his. She didn't seem to notice Lincoln cringing in discomfort as she didn't bother letting go.
"What'cha up to, bro?" she asked.
Lincoln felt himself tense from the queasy bubbling in his gut. This was the opposite of what Luan made him feel yesterday. Instead of comforting warmth, his insides were thrashed with tiny, dizzying pangs. He liked hugs as much as the next guy, but she was waaaaaaay too close for comfort.
"Just, uh, gonna go and brush my teeth," Lincoln said, squirming in Luan's far-too-friendly grasp. "T-that's all."
Just as he was about to try shifting himself free once again, Lynn walked up to him with the smile that was pleasant yesterday but was bordering on unsettling now, given his present circumstances.
"Don't worry about getting to the bathroom. We've got you covered," Lynn assured.
Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "What're you talking about abo-woah!"
In the blink of an eye, Lincoln found himself perched up high on Lynn's shoulders after she had hoisted him up there herself. With his legs slung across her shoulders, Lynn made sure to grab both of his legs before she made a beeline toward the bathroom, followed closely behind by the other four sisters.
"Make way for the best brother ever!" Lynn yelled.
Eventually, Lola sped past them, arrived at the bathroom door, and flung it open to allow the Lynn & Lincoln combo to fly on through. As Lori, Luan, and Lisa closed in on them, Lola swiped Lincoln's toothbrush out of its holster on the sink, grabbed the toothpaste right next to said holster, and squirted a delicate, pea-sized blob of toothpaste on the bristles. Meanwhile, Lynn let Lincoln down in front of the bathroom mirror and was handed the toothbrush by Lola.
Beginning to grow irritated with his sisters' odd behavior, Lincoln began to say, "Okay, seriously, just what is going on with y-" but was denied any further words as Lynn gently scrubbing away at his teeth with care. His complaints were rendered to muffled garbles as Lynn, oblivious to his vexation, hummed merrily as she continued her task.
By the time Lynn got to the back row, that's when he started to feel a bit…steamed, like he was in a sauna or something. When he noticed that condensation began to form on the mirror, he finally understood why. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Lori turning on the water in the shower while Lola draped his orange towel over the shower curtain rod.
Before he had time to dwell on what they were doing, Lisa was suddenly in front of him, shoving a small paper cup in his face with what Lincoln could tell was full of mouthwash.
"Don't forget your mouthwash," she said. "And remember to swish properly for the best results."
As soon as Lincoln grabbed it, Lynn finally slipped the toothbrush out of his mouth, allowing him lean over the sink to spit out the toothpaste.
"Thanks," Lincoln grumbled and did as Lisa instructed (as if he needed her intervention in the first place).
"Oh, Lincy?" the voice of Lola called to him.
He groaned and turned his head. The sisters were all gathered in front of the tub while warm water ran from the nozzle. Like before, those blasted, creepy smiles refused to leave their faces.
"We've got the shower all ready for you; water at just the right temperature, a bottle of your favorite shampoo, and a towel fresh from the laundry," Lori said.
"Enjoy!" Luan added.
With that, the merry quintet dashed out the bathroom, leaving Lincoln behind to try and sort out the conundrum that he just experienced.
He heard about "that time of the month" a few times before, but he had never heard enough to have a good idea of what it was all about. Was that supposed to be what was happening now and if so, were these actions of theirs supposed to be those…mood swings? If so, that'd explain why five out of his ten sisters were acting, with words that Lincoln chose out of gentle consideration, completely insane.
If that was the case, then Lincoln would just have to weather the storm until it was all over; no use fighting against Mother Nature, after all.
Besides, he thought, it could've been worse; they could've decided to stick around to help him wash behind his ears and…other places he didn't want to even begin thinking about.
At 1:17, Lincoln's body demanded food, his stomach growling in protest to his "inattentiveness". Deciding to do something about it, Lincoln set aside his math homework, exited his room, and made his way to the kitchen.
'I hope Luna didn't eat all the pumpernickel bread again,' Lincoln thought as he descended the stairs. 'I could go for a PB&J and no PB&J is perfect without pumpernickel.'
Once he reached the bottom, he was only allowed to step a few paces forward before he bumped into something underneath his line of sight. He expelled a breath from the blow, though he was only stunned for a bit rather than hurt.
As soon as he looked down, he was stunned further still and it was all because of what he saw. That something, or rather someone, that he had bumped into was none other than his brainiac of a sister, Lisa. She wasn't alone, however, as Lola was by her side, effectively making a blockade that didn't allow him to go any further unless he walked around them.
But again, he was stunned, too shocked to do anything but stare wide-eyed at his little sisters. Seeing Lola and Lisa with those huge, creepy smiles of theirs was something that he had, more or less, gotten used to by now. What was surprising, however, was what they were wearing.
Clad in French maid outfits, Lola and Lisa gave their brother a quick curtsy before they addressed him.
"Greetings, dear brother!" Lisa chirped.
"We're so glad that you could join us!" Lola said.
Lincoln had several questions, all of which were rattling around in his head.
One, why would either Lola or Lisa own outfits like this to begin with? He couldn't imagine Lisa finding this get-up dignified enough to own and maid outfits were a symbol of servitude, an idea that he knew that someone like Lola Loud had no interest in upholding.
Two, was he absolutely sure that this wasn't just some fever dream? He sure hoped it was.
Three, how long had they been waiting for him?
Four, why did it feel like he was moving?
He snapped out of his stupor and realized, that indeed, he was moving. Lisa and Lola had him by one hand each as they led him to the dining room. Once they entered it, Lola broke away to run up and pull back a chair from the end of the table they were taking him.
"Now, just have a seat right over here…" Lola said.
"And allow us to serve you to the best of our abilities," Lisa finished and prodded Lincoln softly into sitting down.
Lincoln thought better than to make a mad dash for it. He had a gut feeling that with they would probably just run after him and pull him back. Thus, the only thing he could do was try to get them to leave him be.
"Look, I just came down here for a PB&J sandwich," Lincoln said. "I don't need you to-"
"PB&J coming right up!" Lola cried and raced off to the kitchen with Lisa.
"Wait!" Lincoln cried. "I didn't mean that you had to…oh, never mind."
He sighed and resigned himself to his fate. Fine, if they were going to make him a PB&J sandwich, then he'd let them. The sooner they finished, the sooner he could have his snack and be off to do his homework.
In the meantime, he'd just sit idly by and try to tune them out as best as he could. Their cheerful whistling, even from all the way in the kitchen, was starting to grate his ears; Lisa, especially, was way too off-key to be pleasant.
"Here you are, Lincoln."
Lola's statement and the sound of plate clattering jerked him out of his stasis, and he looked down at what was in front of him. He winced and chuckled sheepishly; to put it lightly, their sandwich looked less like a sandwich and more like a slovenly thrown together jigsaw puzzle that was pieced together with glue and masking tape.
"One PB&J sandwich," Lola said before she pecked Lincoln on the cheek, "served with a side of extra sisterly love!"
"And to compliment your snack," Lisa said and placed a full glass of orange juice next to the sandwich, "here's a tall glass of refrigerated orange juice. May the heavenly citrus flavor satisfy your palate."
Lincoln was caught between a rock and a hard place. Even with their borderline psychotic demeanors, Lola and Lisa had gone out of their way to make him something to eat. It would be rude to just shove it away.
On the other hand, that sandwich looked way too messy and inedible to be enjoyed properly. And now that he had a really good look at it, was that…cinnamon caked in the jelly?! For crying out loud, he was promised PB&J, not PBJ&C! There was no way he could eat that without having to take several trips to the bathroom afterwards!
His inner conflict must've been prominent enough on his face to inspire concern because Lola and Lisa looked on at their older brother, perturbed by his uneasiness.
"Is something wrong?" Lola asked, brows furrowed.
"Perhaps the sandwich isn't to your liking?" Lisa asked, a timid frown etched on her face.
But just as quickly as it came, Lola's worry evaporated as Lincoln realized, as far as he could tell, that Lola had just the answer that he needed.
"Or maybe, you just don't feel like chewing!" Lola yanked the plate away and made a beeline back to the kitchen. "Not to worry, Lincoln! Let your little sister help you!"
The "help" just so happened to be the blender roaring to life. Lincoln groaned in disgust as he knew what Lola was up to.
'A sandwich smoothie?!' Yuck!'
That was it. This is where he was drawing the line. There was no way he was going to chug down that nasty sludge, not even to spare Lola and Lisa's feelings.
Sitting up in haste, Lincoln turned to Lisa and told her, "Uh, Lisa, could you tell Lola that I'm not really hungry anymore? I'm just gonna go upstairs and do my homework."
"As you wish, my most excellent brother," Lisa said.
Lincoln thanked the lucky stars that Lisa had bought his lie and sprinted away as fast as he could. Hopefully, Lisa and Lola would grow tired of acting like kooky maids and let him make his own sandwich. For now, he'd either endure the hunger or look around his room for some half-eaten foodstuffs that had fallen on the floor.
Too bad he'd be downright violating the five-second rule. Oh well, c'est la vie.
"Now, let's see…"
After flipping over to the other side of his homework, Lincoln spotted his next problem at the top left corner of the page. He read over the following equation, confidence building as he already had the answer solved in his head.
"'If 2(x) + 25 = 51, then solve for x'." Lincoln snorted. "Pssh, is that it? That's easy!"
But just when he was about to subtract twenty-five from both sides, a knock came at his door.
"It's open," Lincoln said, looking over at the door to see who it was.
After the door flung open, Lincoln wished he had kept his big, fat mouth shut. He did not need this right now.
"Hey, Lincoln!" Lori exclaimed, rushing forward and hugging her brother around his head.
Lincoln sighed. "What's going on now, Lori?"
Either she missed the impatience in his voice or she ignored it. Either way, Lori's next reply belied any notion of hurt feelings.
"I wanna show you something really quick," Lori replied as she pulled away. "You mind?"
Lincoln weighed his options in his head, trying to see which course of action was best.
He had indulged Lisa and Lola earlier, and they had nearly fed him a nasty PBJ&C smoothie as his reward. So far, telling her that yes, he would very much mind, was the obvious choice. Even with his vow to "weather the storm", there was only so much he could take.
But, just like with her actions this morning, Lori and the others were very insistent. Though their smiles promised no harm to be done for turning them down, somehow, the idea of rejecting their desires would be even scarier than how they were acting today.
If seeing them act so chipper and friendly, or their idea of those concepts, was unsettling, then seeing them lose their composure was even more frightening.
'Welp, Option B it is,' Lincoln thought as he scooched his chair back to give himself enough room to stand up.
"I suppose not," Lincoln said as he walked over to Lori's side.
Without saying another word, Lori led him by the hand down the hallway. They took a turn to their left at the door at the very end, and before Lincoln knew, he and Lori were in her room.
Well, it was technically her and Leni's room, but Lori had called it her room so often that him doing the same became a habit.
"Do you know where we are?" Lori asked, motioning over to her half of the room as she did.
Lincoln processed the question with the same mental effort he used to work a toaster.
"We're in your room," Lincoln said plainly, stating what was obvious.
Or so he thought. He got a nose bop from her finger and a light giggle for her troubles. "Close, but no cigar. We're in our room, Lincoln."
Lincoln blinked. "'Our room'?" He hadn't just heard that, right? Right?
"That's right," Lori said. "From now on, you have 24/7 access to my side of the room. Everything you see here is just as much mine as it is yours. Oh, and don't worry about knocking first. You're always welcome here any time you want, regardless of what I'm doing."
It was all Lincoln could do not to scream at the top of his lungs, so he opted for tearing away from Lori's grasp and backing away towards the door, which was thankfully still open. He didn't think of going back to Lori's side, regardless of how saddened and confused she was looking right now.
Lisa and Lola's latest fashion choices paled in comparison to the absurdity of what Lori had just offered to him. Lori Loud's room was her sanctuary, her haven. The sound of her offering him the privilege of coming and going as he pleased (without knocking, even!) was too much for his brain to process all at once.
All he knew was, he had to get out of here and fast—back to his room, back to a sense of normalcy.
"Lincoln?" Lori asked, inching towards him with her hand outstretched to him. "Lincoln, are you okay?"
"Uh-huh! Uh-huh!" Lincoln insisted as he nodded erratically. "Totally fine, Lori! Juuuuuust peachy! Soooooooo…bye!"
He turned on his heel and made a run for it, not caring how suspicious he made Lori with his hasty exit. The rush of adrenaline made him feel like he was running through a dark alley, trying to escape from a mob of demons that were gaining on him by the second.
He was almost there; just a few steps more, and he'd be back in his room in no ti-
"Lincoln!"
Lincoln yelped and fell backwards on his butt in startled fright. Just as he was about to close the distance between him and his room, Lynn had jumped out of her room and blocked his path.
His heart drummed against his ribs as he panted for breath and even with Lynn's sorrowful expression gazing back at him, he wasn't against calling her out her for nearly giving him a heart attack.
"Lynn! You startled me!" Lincoln snapped.
"Oh my gosh!" Lynn cried, rushing towards him to drop to her knees at his side. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean it, Lincoln, I swear!"
Her panic-stricken voice and terrified look on her face eased Lincoln's irritation, though that had more to do with how over the top Lynn was being more than anything else
"I-It's okay, Lynn. Really, I'm fine," Lincoln said as he got to his feet, allowing Lynn to help him.
"Anyway," Lynn said, greeting her brother with the same grin she had before she accidentally scared the daylights out of him, "I was just wondering if you were up for a game of Horse."
Lynn? Wanting to play basketball with him? A smile of Lincoln's own broke out; finally, after the weird day he was having, one of his five kooky sisters was starting to behave like themselves. With luck on his side, maybe the other four would get a clue and join her.
"Sure," Lincoln said. "Just let me finish up my homework first, and then we can play."
"Great! But just so you know, I'm giving myself a handicap."
Lincoln chuckled. "Is that so?"
This was classic Lynn to a tee; giving herself obstacles to make her imminent win that much sweeter. Man, was it good to see Lynn back to her usual self.
"Yep," Lynn said. "I'm giving myself 'H-O-R-S' right off the bat. Plus, I'm gonna shoot all my shots with one arm. But, just in case I score, you don't have to do them with one arm yourself."
She then reached into her shorts pocket and pulled out a red sweatband, and it made Lincoln take pause. Was that her…?
"Oh, and I'll also let you wear my lucky sweatband too. Don't worry, I washed it clean just for you," Lynn said and handed it out for Lincoln to grab.
The peace in Lincoln's mind shattered like a dropped platter. 'Not her too!' Lincoln thought and suddenly, it was like he was startled all again.
Lynn would let you spit on any of her trophies before she let you wear her lucky…anything! Lucky T-shirts, lucky hair tie, lucky hockey mask…whatever Lynn deemed as "luck" was to be worn by her only. No exceptions.
Well, except for now, obviously! And what was more obvious was that he just had to get out of here, before anything else weird popped up out of nowhere just to mess with him.
"I think I'm gonna get back to my homework now!" Lincoln shouted and sped past Lynn, not bothering to look back.
Mercifully, nothing else got in his way as he bolted into his room, skidding to a stop as soon as he was inside. He nearly slipped when his body shifted to turn around and close the door…
And then he tumbled to the floor ungracefully when the head of one of his sisters' head popped through his doorway to greet him with a beaming smile. 'So close!'
"Did somebody say 'homework'?" Luan asked, being the sister that had caught him off guard.
Lincoln chuckled nervously as he brushed himself off.
"Y-yeah," Lincoln stammered, standing to his feet. "I, uh, was just gonna get started with it." He sat back down in his chair while keeping his anxious grin frozen in place. "So, if you don't mind, I think I'll just-"
"You'll just sit right there and allow us to make you comfortable."
'Oh, come on!' Lincoln screamed mentally while keeping up the façade of composure on the outside. "Luan, I really don't think you need to…" He paused when he took note of Luan's word choice. "Wait, what'd you mean 'us'?"
On cue, his remaining sisters popped up behind Luan, each successive appearance making Lincoln's head feel lighter and dizzier; this just couldn't be happening. The adage had gone weary at this point, but he felt like it was the only thing that was keeping him sane right now.
"Oh no," Lincoln whispered and just like that, the quintet charged forward, encircling him as they each offered their help like they were a pack of dogs fighting over a hearty steak bone.
"Here's a back pillow for your chair!" Lynn said as she slipped a pillow from Lincoln's bed behind his back.
"And pencils, almost as sharp as your wit!" Luan said and slapped a few pencils down next to his homework. "Get it?"
"And here," Lisa said as she placed a white radio-looking device next to his lamp and switched it on. "A white-noise machine, to help you relax."
"Mustn't forget to hydrate!" Lori said and dropped half a dozen water bottles in Lincoln's lap.
"Lemme me wipe that icky sweat off your brow!" Lola said as she used her handkerchief to start patting away at Lincoln's sweat-drenched forehead, not realizing that she and the others were the cause of his rampant perspiration.
And such meddling continued well into the afternoon, delaying the time that Lincoln would've finished his homework significantly. Caught in the eye of what Lincoln could only describe as a brand new, more horrible kind of Sisternado, Lincoln felt his head spinning from the sheer pressure of this pack of sisters constantly buzzing around him, offering their "help" to him.
Although he had promised himself that he wouldn't bring them down with the truth of his feelings, that didn't prevent him from any other logical avenues, one of which chastised him, during the dilemma that his sisters were inadvertently causing, for failing to act on it:
'Why didn't I just do my homework at Clyde's from the start?!'
Lori looked at herself through the reflection in Lincoln's dinner plate, silently giving approval to the cleaning she had given it. It was the perfect way to cap off their treatment of Lincoln at dinner.
Despite having the perfect chance to swipe his food off his plate several times when he wasn't looking, Lynn left his drumsticks and mashed potatoes alone. She would've tried feeding him too, but Lincoln firmly insisted that he could do that himself.
Lola had graciously allowed Lincoln to have her helping of the peach cobbler, loudly declaring that only a brother as sweet as him deserved such a treat.
With her family as her witness, Lisa promised that if she and her friends at NASA were to find a new planet, she would have it named after Lincoln in his honor.
And now, after about half an hour of scrubbing, both Luan and Lori were satisfied with the job they did at cleaning Lincoln's dishes. If their little brother was gonna eat and drink, then they'd make sure that he did so with the knowledge that his soon-to-be 'nice sisters' had left their mark.
Placing the dinner plate in the dish rack, Lori looked back at her allies, who stood just a few feet away as they watched her finish her work.
"Good work, girls," Lori said. "We really stepped up our game today."
In a show of appreciation for each other's efforts, hugs and high-fives were exchanged between the five of them. The merriment eventually petered out and Lynn, though as happy as could be, couldn't help but feel drained from all she had done today.
"But man, I'm beat," Lynn said, taking a second to blow out a tired breath and wipe her forehead with the back of her hand. "Being a 'nice sister' sure takes a lot out of ya. I don't know how the others do it so wel-"
"Oh no!" Lola cried.
The others gasped in horror as they looked to their pink-clad sister in a tizzy.
"What?!" Luan asked.
"What is it, Lola?!" Lori asked.
"We're such dopes!" Lola said. "We were so focused on Lincoln that we forgot about our other sisters!"
Too their dismay, they realized that Lola was right on the money. Why, none of them could remember spending time with any of their other sisters for the past two days. Heck, they hardly paid attention to them at the dinner they just had. With their laser focus set on their brother, they had effectively shunned the others this whole time, and they didn't even realize it.
Such favoritism; that wasn't nice at all!
"You're right!" Luan cried. "We can't be 'nice sisters' if we're only nice to Lincoln!"
After that, most of the sisters went back to their panicked lamenting, overlapping one another as they scrambled about like headless chickens for something that they could do to make up for their neglect.
Soon, it all came to an end when Lisa stuffed two fingers in her mouth and whistled over the cacophony, stopping once everyone halted in their tracks to listen to what she had to say.
"It's a simple matter of reprioritizing our efforts," Lisa said. "Much like we've done for Lincoln as of late, we'll treat our other siblings with an abundance of our kindness as well."
And the proposal had time to absorb in their heads, it didn't take long for the other four to admit that, yes, that was a simple yet solid idea. But then again, why else wouldn't it be, given how it came from such a genius like Lisa?
"Sounds like a plan, sis," Lynn said.
The other happily murmured their agreement, leaving Lisa with the task of divulging her plan. "So, this is what I propose…"
LATER THAT EVENING…
Twisting and turning in his bed, Lincoln miserably contended with the spell of insomnia that just wouldn't go away.
Though his body was wearied from the day he had, his mind was as active as ever. It refused to grant Lincoln the sleep that he desperately needed after voluntarily enduring his sisters' smothering all day—their intentions in all of this were causes that he just had to get to the bottom of.
What the heck was going on with them? It was as clear as a spotless wine glass; they were really trying to be nice to him. That didn't need require much brainpower to figure out. The only thing left to find out was the "why".
But along with that "why", there was a "what" that demanded as much attention; what was he going to do about them?
He had one immediate answer to that question, but he tried to deny that path for as long as he could. Eventually, though, as the sleepless night dragged on, he was forced to accept what his heart had told him was for the best.
For now, there was only one thing that he felt that he could do and that was to keep his mouth shut; he felt like doing otherwise, voicing any complaints against his sister's kindness, would be no better than kicking a sleeping kitten down a flight of stairs.
At this point, he was no longer even the slightest bit jaded about his sister's actions. Sure, what they were doing was kinda weird…and annoying…and confusing…and creepy…and…well, he got the idea. The point was, there was no way that this was a simple matter of it being "that time of the month". He could tell that his sisters were genuinely happy to treat him with their brand of affection, and that didn't deserve to be called out as a bad thing in his mind.
The smiles they had, the eagerness of their actions…Lincoln could trust that there wasn't anything that they were hiding from him anymore, something sinister and dark beneath the surface. Obviously, they had a mission in mind, and it was one that probably involved collusion between the five of them, but all he could believe was that they just wanted to act nicer towards him—no strings attached.
Again, he didn't have the heart to tell them to knock it off, even by a little bit. He wasn't a stranger to enduring his sisters' annoying tendencies, so doing the same for more benevolent tendencies was just something that he'd have to get used to.
With that itch scratched, Lincoln sat up and peered through the darkness to make sure that his door was locked. When he saw that it was, he sighed a breath of relief, laid back down, and closed his eyes.
'Good,' he thought. 'The last thing I need is any of them sneaking in here to make sure that I'm sleeping okay.'
A/N: Not to worry, people. As this chapter promised, we'll be getting to hear from the 'nice sisters' very soon. Just hang in there until they show up.