Chapter#4

I couldn't go to eat with the guys that night. I had too many things on my mind.

Thankfully Greg was out of town on a business trip, so that left me the emptiness to absorb everything that had happened.

I looked at my phone for the hundredth time that night since I got home.

Finally, I sank, and called the first person on my list.

"Hey." Murr's voice echoed from the other end. I knew he would be home by now. After all It was nearly 11:00PM.

I couldn't talk. I felt my throat tighten.

"Hey Fayth, are you OK?"

"No." I said, truthfully and crinkling under the pressure of sadness.

"Can you come over?" I finished.

"Honey, of course." He said with a huff as if he was thinking that the request was a minimal one. "I'll be right there. You don't have to ask twice."

"Thank you." I said, half sobbing into the phone.

"OK sweetie. Just hang tight."

I nodded and hung up the phone.

I looked around at the empty apartment and realized what a mess it was.

I had eaten a whole tub of Ben and Jerrys and nearly a whole delivery pizza by myself.

"Crap." I said, grabbing at my bloated belly.

I threw out what I could and did a quick vacuum and dusting job before I heard the buzz of my doorbell.

I shoved it back into the closet and walked over to the door.

Murr was standing there with a huge smile on his face and a bouquet of white flowers.

"Hey there gorgeous." He said with a wink.

I laughed as he handed me the bouquet and strode inside.

"Thank you Murr." I said pulling him into my arms. "They are beautiful."

"Don't mention it." He said, brushing at the air.

I laughed and locked the door behind us. He took off his coat and I urged him to sit down.

We sat together in the silence. I knew that he was waiting for me to speak first, so I did.

"How are you?" I said, unwilling to let myself face the reason I had asked him over.

"Fayth, I'm fine sweetie." He said with a huff of impatience. He took his hands into mine and dressed them with small tender kisses. "I'm here for you right now."

"Murr, you are such a great friend."

He laughed and tossed off his black pea coat. "Remember that when you are punishing me next."

I laughed and pulled my head into the fridge. "Do you want something to eat or drink?"

"Nah." He said. "I'm good. I ate with the boys and I'm not thirsty."

I peered around and stared. He picked up my silent question and answered it.

"He's fine." He said. "He seemed worried about you, but other than that he was fine."

I tossed a bit of hair behind my ear before sitting onto the couch. "You don't think he said he loved me just to keep me on the show, do you?"

He shook his head. "No way. He wouldn't buy you an engagement ring just to keep you on the show."

He pressed his hands to his lips. "Shit. I wasn't supposed to say anything."

I could feel my eyes tearing with the shock of what he had just said.

"What? He bought me a ring?"

"Well yes sweetie. Of course, he did."

"But what if I said no?"

He looked at me with his piercing gaze, penetrating my soul. "Hunny, are you really going to say no?"

I looked down at my ring and wrinkled my face. It wasn't that the ring itself was disgusting. It wasn't my taste, but it wasn't the rings fault that the person who bought it for me was an asshole.

"No." I said, looking up at Murr.

"No. I love him." I said looking back down at my ring and shoving it off my finger.

I took out a piece of paper and wrote a letter explaining my decision, and telling him that I wouldn't be leaving the show. It seemed like a cold way to break up with him, but he didn't love me, not really.

Murr's face beamed and he clapped his hands together happily.

"I'm so glad sweetie. You and Q belong together."

I gripped at my stomach, feeling a wave of nausea hit me.

"Honey, are you ok?"

I turned away from him, heading straight to the bathroom I heaved and hurled my dinner down the throne.

Must have been my nerves, combine with the fact that I ate half my body weight in ice cream and pizza.

"Sweetie?" I heard Murr's small voice creep from the other side. "Are you ok?"

I nodded, but spoke too because I knew he couldn't see me.

"Yea." I said, sliding my back against the bathroom wall. "I'm fine."

Then a thought came over me as I looked behind the toilet at the bundle of Tampax tampons that were sitting there.

I then reached into my phone and opened my calendar app.

Oh no. It can't be.

Frantically I searched last months records. Finding that on the second week in april I had gotten my period. It was now the third week in May, and I had yet to have a visit from my aunt flo. It was never late, and I knew I was getting older, but I was still too young to get menopause.

Ironic. I thought. Since I had just been joking with Joe that Murr and I were talking about my period.

Shit. How could I be so stupid?

Murr tapped on the door again, but it sounded more frantic, as if he had been talking to me again and I hadn't answered.

"Honey, what's going on?"

I shook my head and reached into my cabinet.

"Nothing Murr. I'm sorry. Please make yourself comfortable. I'll be right out."

I waited until I heard his footsteps soften with distance before reaching up for a pregnancy test.

Greg and I had been trying to get pregnant for a while. So, I had a few on hand. Just in case.

I took a deep breath and with shakey hands I pulled the test out of the packet and gave it the necessary sample.

How could this be happening? I thought, pressing my hands into my hair. At my age. It isn't true. Is it?

I didn't want Murr to hear my phone alarm, so I put it to vibrate.

I took a deep breath and rose to my feet and walked over to where I had set the test. On the side of the tub.

I was greeted by a pair of two blue lines.

I was pregnant.