Name?: The Fall

Summary?: Rin saw no way out, he couldn't run, the Vatican would kill him, he didn't want to be killed, not by someone else, no, he was going to die by his own hand.

Rating?: M

Pairings?: None but Yukio x Rin if you want to see it that way (not that I blame you XD)

Warning?: Attempted Suicide, Suicidal Thoughts, Coma, Bullying, Death Threats, Major Angst, Isolation, Loss of Friends, Life Support and Medical Tests (also tube down throat and removal scene), Needles, mention of Seizures, Happy Ending.

Nicciomimi96: Okay, I ship Yukio and Rin together but this isn't a shippy story, though it could be if you look at it that way but if you don't then there is pure brotherly fluff waiting to make up for my next story that I'm going to post for them, this is a sort of sorry in advance, I hope you like it! Note: This is still kind of dark and triggering for people, please read the warnings.

"Son of Satan?"

"Demon."

"Why is he still alive?"

"He should have never been born!"

"He's dangerous."

"Why would they let him in that school, near children?"

"He's going to hurt someone eventually and then it will be too late."

"They should kill him now."

"He deserves to die."

These were just a few comments that Rin had to put up with everyday since people found out about who he is, or rather what he is, of course he had expected something like this but that didn't mean that it still didn't hurt the same. Of course people would think him dangerous, they would want him dead, away from people so he couldn't hurt anyone and most days he could deal with this but it was days like today that he just couldn't force himself to smile or laugh it off like a joke.

Especially when it came to his classmates, he couldn't really call them friends any more, Konekomaru was too scared of him, Shima too bitter, Bon too angry, Shiemi too sad, Izumo too distant...but it seemed everyone thought the same thing.

'Die.'

He had expected Konekomaru, he was too scared of everything, Rin wondered why he wanted to be an exorcist at all because he sure as hell didn't have the nerves of one. He didn't speak to Rin, he shied away whenever he passed him, ran if he walked up to him, he shook just being in the same room as him but again Rin had expected this.

Shima he had had a bit of hope for, though thinking about it he shouldn't have, the pinkette had always followed Bon's logic, he didn't talk to him either, he glared, walked away and just generally ignored him unless Bon said something and then he joined in making sure to talk as loudly as possible so Rin would hear their biting words.

Bon...he hadn't know what to think, a small part of him had hoped that with the progress they had made that the older boy would be okay with it, well, not completely but look past it to see who Rin really was. Bon however, was the worst of them all, he shoved, he spat, he threw horrible words at him that haunted him in the night, he did everything possible to make Rin's life hell and secretly Rin thought he deserved it.

Shiemi was silent, every time she looked at Rin her eyes would tear up, she wouldn't say anything to him, she didn't sit next to him any more in classes, instead sitting next to Izumo, Rin was hurt the most by her reaction. He had saved her, he had hung out with her and become close friends but even she didn't like him any more.

Izumo, she was the one who had said to him that he wasn't that different, that many of the exorcists had demon blood in them but still ignored him, more than usual, she left him on his own after those words which had given him a little hope. She didn't look at him, well she did but it was always a disapproving look, something that grated on him, made him feel small, like he was insignificant.

However, through all this they still were fine with Yukio, Yukio who was his brother, his twin, who was also Satan's son, they respected him and didn't treat him any differently...why? was it because Yukio didn't have the flames? Yukio didn't have the demon traits? That Yukio, despite being a blood relative to Satan was still completely human?...he didn't get it...

One thing he had learned through this though was that hope sucked, it sucked away your life, that fleeting moment of pure good feeling would soon crush you into despair, it wasn't worth it, hope did nothing but hurt you. That was the way of life...well, the way of his life, it was just the way things had gone for him since he could remember, any tiny shred of hope would be pulled out from under him in a couple of days, weeks, months...it didn't matter how much time, it would all end the same way.

He was thinking all this as he sat in the cram school lesson, sitting on his own at the front of the class, Yukio giving a speech about weapon types, which types would be best for lower class demons, which ones for higher class, what to ingrain on the blades or guns to give the most effect when Bon put up his hand and asked, "What kind of symbols would be best to cut the son of Satan down?"

Yukio paused, looking at Bon with a shocked face, Rin wondered for a moment if Yukio was going to stick up for him but his brothers next words cut that hope, damn hope again, down, "The son of Satan is a high class demon, he won't be affected by a lot, you would need multiple symbols and passages on your weapon for it to work on him, the best material would probably be a blade made in holy fire, seeming as a sword is his weapon of choice yours would have to be too to go into battle with him because a gun while useful would be a hindrance once he got too close."

Rin sank low in his seat, even Yukio was against him, why was he still breathing? Why did he have to be born? Why did everything always have to happen to him? Would things be different if Yukio was the one with the demon powers? Would people accept him and not his brother? He was sure if it was the other way around he would stick up for Yukio not give his tormentors tips on how to kill him.

What kind of brother did that make Yukio? Not a good one. Well...his twin had his high points he guessed, he could never hate Yukio, it just wasn't in him to do it, he loved his twin too much...though he guessed it didn't go both ways. As he was thinking this he sighed and closed his eyes, what was he going to do? Everyone wanted him dead...even he was starting to come around to the idea.

Would things be better if he was dead? When he was dead...where would he go? Demons didn't go to heaven, would he just end up in Gehenna? He wondered...what would happen to him...maybe he would just find himself in blackness, a never ending expanse where he didn't even exist anymore...would he be happier?

"Rin!" Yukio shouted, Rin jumped and looked at his brother/teacher and saw those eyes looking at him with frustration and anger, he expected this look though, it was the only look Yukio had given him since everyone found out about him, he guessed it was just an excuse for Yukio to finally show his true feelings because of course it was Rin's fault their father died and they both wouldn't forget it.

"Yeah?" Rin asked, leaning forward and placing his chin on his hand, he hadn't been paying attention so he didn't know, not that he cared anymore, being an exorcist wasn't looking so good anymore, maybe he could just run away...though every time he thought that he remembered that the Vatican would hunt him down and kill him, he didn't want to be killed, not by anyone else but himself, he had decided that about a week ago.

"Please pay attention, this is important." Yukio said, the please was just put there for politeness, Rin knew his brother wouldn't use it otherwise, he was the polite one, the smart one, the kind one, Rin was the rude one, the dumb one, the violent one, that was how it had always been to everyone. Rin, when he had heard of this just made things worse by proving them right, like he always did.

"The mission we're going to go on will be your toughest one yet, it's going to be training of course, not a real mission but it will be the closest one to a mission you've had so far, you'll all be filling out these papers before we go, make sure to read them thoroughly, you won't be told what it entails until we reach our destination." Yukio said before handing out three pieces of paper to everyone, when Rin looked down at his own he raised an eyebrow.

'''Training course for young exorcists: Mission 11'''

Mission 11? What kind of training...but when he looked the rest of the sheet it just covered the basic, 'if you get hurt or die on this mission no one can sue' and such, not very confidence building but Rin signed the sheets after glancing through everything, it wasn't like he cared anyway. When everyone had signed Yukio went round and picked their papers up and put them together with a clip before going back to the front of the class.

"Okay, now that's out of the way, I'll be seeing you tomorrow with the when and where so you can start getting ready, dismissed." Yukio said and stood before leaving the class, probably going to file the paperwork. Rin stayed in his seat as everyone left but not before Bon chose some parting words, coming over to him and leaning in close he whispered, "During this mission, I'm going to kill you and you know what? No one will care."

He left after that, Shima and Konekomaru following him. Rin couldn't allow that to happen, he wouldn't be killed by anyone, no one but himself...he had been planning something for a while now...it seemed full proof...maybe...maybe he could do it now. Get it over with as they say...yeah, he was sure everyone would be happier, they wouldn't have to worry about him anymore, he couldn't run away so this was his only option, no one would listen to anything he had to say anyway.

First though, he would say goodbye to his brother. It was the least he owed him for all those years growing up together and so he stood and walked out of the door, going down the hallway to the teachers lounge, he stopped at the door and knocked. Yukio was the one to answer and looked shocked to see him here before he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, "What have you done now?"

"Nothing, just wanted to say thanks." Rin said, his words coming out a bit rushed, he wasn't exactly sure what he wanted to say but he hoped that Yukio would understand the meaning of his words, thanks for being there for me, thanks for all the times you helped me, thanks for putting up with me, thanks for not killing me, thanks for...everything...

Yukio looked up to him and shook his head before going to close the door, Rin watched and felt his heart hurt, he was trying to get across all these feelings and Yukio was shutting the door in his face but then again, what else did a demon deserve? Before Yukio closed the door Rin said one more thing, "Goodbye."

It was so final, once he said that it really hit him that he wouldn't see Yukio anymore, he wouldn't be breathing in fresh air, he wouldn't be able to feel the wind or rain or sun, he wouldn't see Kuro, talk to anyone, laugh, cry, get angry...he wouldn't have any of that anymore...but then again...was all that worth what was coming? Was it worth this life he lived?

Half of him was screaming yes, it was worth it, to talk to Yukio and Kuro, to make them smile and laugh and be silly, to have hugs and think of the future, to cook with Ukobach, to maybe one day get his friends back, to try new things he hasn't before. The other half was saying, no, the pain, the anger, the hurt, the tears, the blood he bled for these people only for them to turn their backs on him, to be eventually killed like an out of control animal needing to be put down...this half was stronger.

Yukio didn't say anything to that and finally shut the door, Rin stared at the ground, his tail limp and frowned, his eyes stung a little but he just took a deep breath and started walking, walking to the place he was sure to do it. He had been up there before, on top of the abandoned dormitory, it was high enough to kill, low enough that it wouldn't make much of a mess, he had thought about that you see, how much mess he could make for people even in death, he didn't want to so scoped out some areas and options but this one seemed the quickest.

There was only one step to this plan, fall, then it would be over, it would happen in seconds, he knew it would feel longer when he fell but it would be only a short time, he quickly left the cram school hallway with his key and straight into the dormitory. He made sure that Kuro wouldn't hear him, he didn't need his familiar to save him, he walked the walk of death, now he knew how it felt.

It felt final, it made relief go through him and yet also made him sad enough to weep, he didn't of course, he hadn't cried since his fathers death, he wouldn't cry at his own, no one would cry for him not even himself, he didn't deserve it. He made his way up to the roof, the wind moving his hair, soothing his eyes and he smiled when he saw the sun setting, it was beautiful.

The yellows, oranges and reds all melding together, the sky above it a dark blue, almost purple and the clouds fluffy and white...it was a perfect scene, he could even see some birds still flying about...the smile dropped. He looked to the edge of the roof and started walking, as he walked he remembered things, his childhood, his father, the priests, Yukio, the church...then he remembered the flames, his real father, his brother holding a gun at him...the exorcists, cram school, friends...hateful looks, painful words, the threats...

He stepped up onto the edge surrounding the roof, funny that it was for safety and he would use it as a ledge to stand on to end his life...did people think of these things when they built buildings? Maybe, maybe not, it didn't matter anymore, he didn't look down, scared that if he saw what was waiting he would back off and choose not to do this so instead he looked to the beautiful sky.

It was so lovely, so nice, so peaceful, it was then that he found himself taking a step forward, trying to be closer to the scene, before he knew it his foot was hanging over air...if he took the next step it would all be over...he thought about it, he thought about what would happen if he didn't do this, he thought about what would happen if he did and smiled.

He stepped off.

It was like flying for a moment, the air rushing around him, he closed his eyes before he saw the ground, not wanting to know how close or far he was, just wanting to feel...feel this wonderful free fall feeling...he wished he had wings so he could fly. He heard whistling and knew he must be falling pretty fast but didn't mind, he would get there when he got there, he just let himself feel...

"RIN!"

...

...

...

...

...wha?...

where?...

...who?

...

...

...

"Rin?" A voice came from next to him, wait...was he alive? The voice he had heard...it sounded like Yukio...there was a beeping coming from next to him and he felt like something was down his throat, though it wasn't choking him, how was he still alive? He was alive right? It was like he couldn't feel his body but also could...it was confusing...

"Why?" Yukio's voice came again and Rin listened, he heard Yukio scoff, "I know why...I just...didn't think it was that bad...well, I did but I thought you were okay...your words...your last words to me...thank you...goodbye...I should have known something was wrong...I just thought you were being your normal self but...when I think about it you hadn't been your normal self for a while before that had you?"

"Yukio?" Shiemi's voice came and Rin felt surprise but it vanished, she was here for Yukio not him, it was a surprise when she spoke again, her voice was tearful and he was shocked at her words, "Are you still talking to him? You know it's been six months...they say...he probably won't wake up but..."

"I'm not giving up on him." Yukio said harshly, Shiemi started to stutter and Yukio sighed before the sound of him getting up came from beside him and footsteps, "I know you don't mean it that way it's just...I can't give up on him, if our situation was the other way round he wouldn't give up on me, I love him, I've lost too many people, I didn't think I would count him as one...I never want to count him as one..."

"I know Yukio...will you at least eat something? You haven't been eating for a couple of weeks now, you need to have some strength for..." She trailed off and a hand went into his own, it felt familiar and he knew it was Yukio's, why Shiemi had stopped talking he didn't know but he tried to move his body, any little twitch he would be happy with even if he couldn't feel it himself.

Twitch.

His hand moved, it was small but effective as Yukio gasped, there was a silent moment and Rin was started to get feeling back, as if that one movement had restarted something, he tried to groan but ended up choking, he moved his hand up to his mouth. Yukio's hand suddenly stopped his own and a buzz came from beside him before Yukio spoke, "Nii-san, calm down, please, open your eyes, please open your eyes."

Yukio was begging, Rin tried to open his eyes but found them screwed shut from the choking, he wriggled and heard people come into the room, suddenly hands were on him pinning him down and a male voice asked, "Do you know if he's awake or seizing?"

"I don't know, I tried to get him to open his eyes but he didn't." Yukio said back sounding flustered, Rin tried to move but people held him down there was some talk that he missed for a moment before the tube was being gently removed from his throat, he felt it come up and out and gasped for breath before coughing. His head was stroked before he opened his eyes and looked into his brother's aquamarine's, those eyes brightened and a big smile came onto Yukio's face before his cried, "He's awake!"

Several happy faces swam around him and they all looked relived, it was strange, seeing people relieved that he was awake, alive even. He tried to sit up but was pushed down by a male doctor who had the most peculiar purple and orange eyes, when he spoke Rin remembered him as the man who had spoke before, "Don't try to get up yet Rin, just relax, can you follow my finger for me?"

The man put a finger in front of him and moved it up and down and side to side which Rin followed, the man then flashed a small flashlight in his eyes before sighing in relief, "Well, your fine, you gave us all quite a scare there, you've been in a coma for six months so your going to be weak for a while but I think your going to make a good recovery don't you?"

Rin didn't know what to say so he said nothing, he thought he was suppose to be dead...wasn't he? The doctor seemed to follow his thoughts and shared a look with Yukio before saying, "I'm going to leave for now, though we're going to keep an eye on you while you recover, you won't be leaving for a while so get comfortable."

The doctors and nurses left, leaving Rin alone with Yukio and Shiemi who stuttered something before leaving the room, it was dead quiet then, Yukio brushed some of his hair out of his face before sighing, "I...I know why you did it Nii-san, I know but...I just...I want to know...how long had you been thinking about it?...why did you kept it secret?...I want to know...please, just tell me everything...please..."

Rin looked to his twin, those eyes shining with tears and understanding, Rin thought for a moment that he was going to get angry but instead he felt guilt, it came at him in a wave and he closed his eyes, his voice rasped and cracked when he tried to speak, Yukio helped him take a drink from a plastic cup before gesturing him to try speaking again and so Rin did.

He told him everything.

From start to finish Yukio listened, he didn't say a word, he sat there with him, holding his hand as he spoke about what people had said to him, what he thought of himself, what he knew everyone else thought, how he had planned everything and from the first time he thought about ending it to the last. Then he got to his last day, the day he had finally broke and the words that did it, Yukio watched him, helping him drink when his voice cracked too much and by the end of it Yukio was watching him with sad eyes.

"You know...I was the one who found you, I saw you fall, I saw you hit the ground, I call the ambulance, I sat with you all these months...I thought about a lot of things and said a lot of things to you that I'm not sure if you heard or not..." Yukio told him, Rin listened to how Yukio's voice faltered and broke off as if it pained him to even think about it, "I told everyone what happened, I stayed with you, I didn't let them take you off life support when they wanted too because they didn't think you would wake up...I..."

Yukio was crying by now and Rin felt his own eyes sting at how much he had put his brother through, he sat up, not caring about how much pain it caused him and pulled Yukio into a hug, they stayed like that for a while, just holding each other. Yukio then pulled away and said, "I thought about what I would say to you when you woke up, I thought about how angry I would be, how I would shout and tell you how stupid it was but the more I thought about it the more I understood and now your awake I don't feel angry, I just feel relieved that your awake, that your here with me again...that I still have you."

Rin didn't know what to say, millions of things went through his head from apologies to shouting but just shook his head and smiled, he knew that Yukio cared for him now and maybe that was enough, even though his brother hadn't shown it when he had needed it the most. Rin layed down and curled up making sure not to mess with the drip still stuck in his hand, he looked at Yukio and said, "You know...I don't blame you...I used to before I woke up, I thought you hated me like everyone else but...you stayed with me, you kept me alive and didn't give up on me when everyone else did...you...still love me right?"

"Yes, of course." Yukio said, leaning forward to brush Rin's hair with his hand, Rin smiled and leaned into that hand, he remembered when Yukio did this when they were younger, he had always had a fascination with Rin's hair, pulling it and stoking it when he could. Rin sighed in relief, Yukio still loved him, had always loved him whether he showed it or not and Rin said, "Then that's enough for me."

Yukio smiled at him, his eyes warm and relieved, they stayed there in silence for a moment before Yukio spoke again, "I...I told the others what happened...they all reacted in their own way, Shiemi cried you know, she's been visiting you every week, she talked to you too, you missed her apologies, though she will probably tell you herself when she comes back."

Rin smiled and then frowned, he had thought no one would miss him, he had been in such a dark place that he couldn't see anything but hate around him, "I'm sorry." He said, before he even noticed the words coming out of his mouth but then continued talking, "I was in such a dark place...I couldn't see the people that cared...I didn't think anyone would miss me, I thought it would be easier for everyone if I was gone."

"I know." Yukio said, brushing his hair before leaning down and kissing his forehead, Rin felt his face flush at the gesture and looked down, Yukio hadn't been this affectionate with him since he found out he was a demon but it made his heart feel a little lighter, "Nii-san...you know...you know that things are going to be hard...some people...they won't like you for who you are, what you are but...I will always be here for you, I promise, I will stick up for you when you can't do it yourself and I will always be a person you can trust and lean on."

"Thank you Yukio, for everything." Rin said, he closed his eyes and yawned, Yukio chuckled and Rin smiled, he knew Yukio would be there for him, he knew Yukio loved him, he knew now. In a way he was glad things had gotten so bad because now he knew things he had never thought to be true before and he knew things would still be hard but with Yukio by his side, he would get through it.

His brother loved him and yeah, that was enough.

Nicciomimi96: And done! Please don't forget to review, I would love to know what you think! Love you guys, thanks for reading and making it to the end xxx