I'm alive!
I'm so sorry for the lack of updates. I took my little sister to college and I moved into my own place, so I started living by myself (yay!) and was dealing with a lot of things changing. I also had no internet for so long, that's why I couldn't update and I was so busy I never found time to go to a library for more than a few minutes at a time (to get internet), which was also frustrating in itself. So again, I'm really really sorry I suck so badly :( This isn't the only chapter I've written though - I have another long one and I'm editing Chapters 7 and 8 right now, so those updates will come quickly.

Shoutouts real quick!

Nebelhexe: Thank you so much for your review! It actually really helped me; I love reviews like this because it lets me know what more I can do and what I'm already doing good with so it was awesome to read what you thought and further develop my style for this story :p

the Moon our Witness: another fantastically helpful review! I think your questions will be answered in this chapter (as to why no one told Zuko and stuff like that), so I hope this chapter satisfies you :)

Kslamm: Thank you so much XD I'm still a little nervous about posting my writing, but this made me really happy and less hesitant about updating!

So thanks guys and I'll try to be quicker from now on. So yay, here we go...

Chapter 5: From Fleeting Words to Ashes

"Katara!"

They were running at her, a mad whirlwind of greens and silvers, chaotic and vibrant, and in a blinking moment she was knocked out of breath by two bodies that slammed into her, arms wrapped around her so tightly she could not breathe.

Spirits, what the…?

Her father was laughing, deep and boisterous, and Katara huffed, her arms pinned down to her sides by the girls' arm. One of them smelled like straight dirt and the other was wearing some golden headpiece that kept poking Katara in the eye. She began fidgeting, uncomfortably agitated at their foreign closeness and they finally pulled back – spirits, thank you – to stare at her, their eyes wide and glowing. Katara almost jumped back in surprise when she saw the pure white face with strange warpaint of the first girl and the milky, mischievous eyes of the second.

"You're back!" Warface exclaimed happily, her hands squeezing Katara's arms. Milky was standing still, her arms folded tightly, but she could see a small smile playing at her lips.

"Aye, Sweetness, did you miss us?"

What the-

"S…Sw…Sweetness?" Katara said heatedly, but her father put his hands on her shoulders, laughing softly down at her as he nodded to the girls.

"Katara, this is Suki, Captain of the Kyoshi Warriors and Toph Beifong, Aang's old earthbending teacher."

"Hey! Who ya calling old, gramps?" the black-haired earthbender snapped, jabbing her finger into Hakoda's chest. She folded her arms again, blowing a gust of air up her face, making her bangs do a little dance before settling once more against her forehead. "I prefer the Blind Bandit, since I am still the reigning champion of all earthbenders – and metalbenders, I might add."

Katara gaped at the women in front of her as Toph continued on, unbelievably unstoppable and forward:

"Seems to me you're still the same, Sugar Queen, but it sucks royal badger-mole your mind got wiped. I was expecting a grand reunion, but no, you just had to go off and have a nice little tea party with spirits and forget all about us."

"S…Su…Sugar Queen?" Katara's hand balled into fists as she glared at the Blind Bandit – or whatever the hell you call yourself – who was waving her hand submissively and turning way, starting down the long hallway.

"Yep," the girl called back. "Still the same."

Katara started forward angrily, her voice high and shrill. "Now, you wait just one-"

Suki began laughing nervously, scratching the back of her head.

Oh, you feel awkward, Warface?

"Toph is…ah…heh, Toph is…" Suki stuttered, an uncomfortable smile plastered onto her painted face. She dropped her hand, shrugging. "You'll get used to her."

Toph cackled in the distance as she whirled around, pointing at Katara. You sound like an angry witch when you laugh.

"You hear that, Madame Fussy Britches? You gotta get used to me – all over again!"

Katara fumed silently after the blind girl who was still guffawing like a crazy old hag, folding her arms behind her head as she strutted away.

"So…" Suki started nervously.

"You're kidding me, right?"

"Unfortunately, I'm not," the warrior laughed. "She's brash, but she missed you a lot. We all did. But come with me! There are a ton of people who want to see you and Aang is waiting. Plus, the other Kyoshi Warriors and I prepared a demonstration for you to watch. We know you don't remember any of us, so that's why we want to show you some of our forms! It's like getting to see it all again for the first time!"

Suki grabbed her arm excitedly and began pulling her down the hallway. Katara looked back at her father and Gran-Gran, silently pleading with them to help, but Gran-Gran merely waved happily and her father laughed, nodding to her with a smile that she would be alright.

Spirits, help me.

Mai sighed for what seemed like the hundredth time that day. Her speech earlier that day was good, Zuko would give her that, but he wondered how much of it she actually meant. The crowd soaked it up, genuine or not, so he supposed he should at least give her a little credit. But now, her constant sighing had soured his mood once more. He stabbed at the fish on his plate, forcing himself to keep his gaze down instead of glaring up at her.

"Are we almost done here?" she drawled.

"Yes, we have one more village to speak to and, after that, I fear our joyous travels are coming to an end," Iroh said, smelling his lunch happily. "But we still have tonight's festivities to look forward to!"

The clink of a fork hitting a plate echoed around the room.

"Great," Mai said as she leaned back, draping her arm over the back of the chair. "I'd prefer to not get rained on if I'm supposed to be kissing the toes of our esteemed nobles tonight."

"Would you like me to part the clouds for you, my love?" Zuko suddenly smiled at her, taught and insincere. "I wouldn't want my dearest Fire Lady to get wet."

Silence.

No blandly sarcastic remark, fiancée?

Wood scraped hard against the floor as Mai stood up fast, pushing her chair back. Her hands were balled into tight fights, her pale knuckles surprisingly even whiter than before. Her lips pursed into a thin line, her eyes narrowing at Zuko, but he held her gaze, refusing to be the first to look away. She scowled in anger and turned away, slapping her napkin down onto the table and leaving the room.

Good riddance.

Zuko looked around. The servants were keeping their gaze on anything but him in the awkward silence and Iroh and Ty Lee just stared at him, shock and confusion on their faces.

"That wasn't…That wasn't very lordly of you, Zuko," Iroh said finally, at a loss for words. Ty Lee wiped at her mouth gently and quietly, her eyes darting around the room in her discomfort.

Zuko pinched the bridge of his nose, exhaling sharply as he retorted, "She's been in a bad mood all day, Uncle. There's no pleasing her!"

"That's what it means to be a husband," Iroh said, winking slyly. "You search for the things that make her soft. It is difficult to keep your woman happy when you yourself are a-"

"If you say 'secret tunnel' one more time, I'm banishing you."

"I was going to say-"

"She hates me."

"She doesn't hate you."

"You don't know that!" Zuko said vehemently.

"Maybe if you just gave her a chance," Ty Lee started quietly, "you'd see that she's actually very-"

"What would you know?" Zuko snapped. "You worked for my sister. You both did. I'd say you two have the worst judgment out of all of us, and that means something coming from someone who spent three years trying to get his tyrant of a father to love him."

Ty Lee's mouth popped open in a small "o", but she said nothing in response, only lowered her eyes with hurt. Zuko's hand slipped into his pocket once more in the silence, fingering the necklace, willing the painful pounding in his temples to pass.

"Thank you for the luncheon, but I will take my leave now," the Fire Lord said tightly, pushing himself away from the table. He nodded once stiffly to his uncle before leaving the room in long, rigid strides. His shoulder bumped sharply against the servant girl's shoulder as he passed her, to which she jumped back and bowed deeply, mumbling more damned apologies.

"You're all here! This is so great."

Aang was beaming wildly, wearing a more formal version of his airbender's robes. He looked nice – almost mature – but then he opened his mouth, babbling incessantly about the animals they would ride during Toph and Suki's visit and Katara immediately wiped that notion from her mind.

Always a child, I suppose.

She had shifted slightly under Aang's initial gaze when she had come out onto a large balcony, roughly pulled by an excited Suki. There was something in his eyes, something in the way his cheeks turned scarlet and he stuttered his greetings that made her feel awkward. He had shaken it off quickly, however, and now he was leading them through the winding hallways of the north, towards a grand, open-ceilinged ballroom of ice that overlooked the city. She had not done much sight-seeing since her awakening, but the sheer magnitude of the carefully chiseled pillars of ice and the white stone encrusted with sapphires that rose from the pale earth, surrounded by glistening pools of clear water took each excited breath from her lungs. Her ears could not see enough, her eyes could not look at enough places at once and there was a hunger in her as Suki and Aang led her through the grand archways into the open ballroom.

There were two thrones of ice on a raised platform at the end of the room, one of which was empty and the other was inhabited by a sturdy man in grand robes. He stood when they entered, holding out his hands happily to his guests. There were many people inside, all chatting nervously and excitedly with the arrival of the Avatar and the lost waterbender and a band was playing traditional music that floated gently upwards, some songs of which Katara instantly recognized from her childhood in the south. She flushed deeply when the citizens' eyes turned to her and some of them even bowed, making her fidget uncomfortably with the sudden formality.

"Katara," an older man said, his robes swishing as he strode up to her and took her hands in his. "You look well."

She remembered him from the Spirit Oasis – one of the many hands that pinned me down – and at first, he had seemed cold and indifferent, but now…Now he was strangely warm and welcoming, his lips twisting into a smile beneath a long, white mustache.

"Grand Master Pakku!" Suki exclaimed happily, throwing her arms around him. He stumbled back a bit in surprise, but he grinned, patting her back.

"Captain Suki, it has been far too long. And Aang, I am pleased to see your hard work these past years has seen success after long last!" Pakku placed his hand on Katara's shoulder, squeezing it gently. "I owe you much gratitude for saving my old pupil."

Katara looked up at him, confused, but he was already looking away, nodding to Chief Hakoda as he entered the ballroom. Katara's face brightened at the long-familiar wolfshelm and the chief grinned at his daughter, nodding for her to give the day a chance, to which she could not help but nod back. I'll try for your sake. The music was light and airy and she found her head swaying gently from side to side in time with the beat as her eyes scanned the long table covered in hundreds of different dishes. It was fantastic, she had to admit – she saw some of her favorite foods from her days as a child along with new, strange-looking platters that were no doubt popular in the North. She made a mental note to give those a try, for she had not eaten much since Aang found her and she was finding herself eager to dine.

Suki was still on her arm, giggling and pointing at the festive decorations and the beautiful dresses of the Northern Water Tribe folk, which were gaudier and much more formal than she was used to seeing. Toph was leaning against a wall, her eyes unseeing but her head moved often, following the paths of citizens as they danced as though she could see them.

"Isn't this great?" Suki squealed. "They're all here for you, you know."

"That can't be true," Katara replied sheepishly.

"Well, there is truth in that," Hakoda said, coming to rest next to her, "but it is also a great day for the world to celebrate. It is the anniversary of the final battle of the Hundred Year War."

"Yeah, usually we go to the Fire Nation to celebrate with the Fire Lord, but since you came back – with impeccable timing, I might add – we decided to have our own party here! Of course Aang will be missed, but I think it's time we switched up the party hosts anyway," Suki said excitedly, practically yanking on Katara's arm as she wiggled to the music. Katara liked her; she was strong and fierce, but still just a girl. It wasn't that she was strong because she defied womanhood, either – she embraced being a woman because it was what made her so strong.

"My friends!"

The chatter and the music died down, hundreds of heads turning towards the thrones of ice, where Chief Arnook stood tall and proud. There was a wide, beaming smile on his face as he spoke loudly, "Today, we celebrate victory in peace! We celebrate the Avatar and his comrades. We celebrate the return of one our greatest friends" – he winked at Katara, who flushed deeply – "and we dance for the spirits that have protected us and given us hope in the darkest of times. I do not say to you that my daughter would wish to be here to witness this happiness, for she is here. Alongside us, her spirit gives us balance and love, and her moonlit powers will never fail us. So for her, for the Avatar and friends, we must dance!"

"For Yue," the people said and next to Katara, Suki bowed her head, repeating, "For Yue."

Katara wanted to ask who Yue was, but then Chief Arnook was speaking again, raising a fine chalice.

"So here is for the Water Tribes, the north and the south. For brotherhood and family, for peace and strength. May our ice remain frozen and our goblets full." The crowd laughed and then the cheering followed soon after and the music started drifting towards the ceiling once more, lively and airy. The first hour flew by; nobles and citizens and benders alike swarmed around her as though she were infamous, asking her about where she learned her bending techniques and healing abilities, to which Katara could only stammer a few unintelligible words in return, for she did not know how to tell their hopeful faces that she did not remember. Many of them treated her with such formality, she felt an outsider to the Water Tribes, causing a stir of anxiety and tension within her chest, but Suki's presence was enough to keep her exterior as calm as she could force it to be. Katara did not speak to or see much of Toph in that time; the blind earth-and-metalbender was slipping in and out of the ballroom doing whatever it is the strange girl did, but once Katara spotted her cleaning her toes near one of the many food tables, much to the peoples' displeasure. She saw Aang surrounded by a group of children, some girls of whom were thirteen-and-ten like Katara – no, like I used to be – and were incessantly giggling and blushing as the airbender floated in circles upon a tightly-spinning ball of air and she could not help but smile as she watched them watch him.

It seems you deserve your fan club, from what I have heard.

And she had heard remarkable things about him – nothing short of what she would expect, especially regarding the tales of his adventures flying down Omashu's mail delivery chute (though Aang referred to it as "the world's greatest super slide"). There was word about Katara's own feats as well, some of which surprised her and others of which she could see herself doing. "The Painted Lady" was a popular subject amongst the people that approached her and the kind words sent a pink flush to her cheeks, but she figured they all made it sound more extravagant than the ordeal truly was. However, she supposed she would never truly know, and so she accepted their words with gratitude and humility and politely excused herself once she saw Gran-Gran enter the ballroom so she could greet her grandmother. She learned many things that afternoon, that she could not deny; tales of bravery and strength and forgiveness swirled around her head like fluttering birds that would not leave her in peace. She learned that Grand Master Pakku eventually became her tutor after a series of arguments and fights concerning her womanhood, she learned that Chief Arnook had a daughter named Yue who sacrificed herself to keep the Water Tribes living, she learned of the spirit that stole faces and the great escape from a Fire Nation prison in which Suki floored the men with her talents in fighting, but not once – not once – did she learn anything of her brother.

And so the hours passed and the luncheon was finished and the dancing was beginning and the court was teeming with blue and silver and flowing hair and laughing voices, and as the sun began sinking lower toward the clear horizon, there was a sound of someone clearing their throat. Katara and Suki, who had returned from practicing with the other Kyoshi Warriors only moments before, turned to see Aang, his ears scarlet, bowed deeply and holding out his hand.

"Katara," he began shyly. "I…ah… I was wondering if, you know – it's been a while, but maybe you'd like to dance?" He looked up, gray eyes wide and innocent. Katara couldn't help but chuckle, placing her hands on her hips. Suki rolled her eyes.

"I can take a hint," she quipped. "It's about time I find Toph anyway. These celebrations go on for hours, you know, so it's only just begun. Anyway, the Kyoshi Warriors and I don't go on until dusk, so make sure you remember to come watch us out in the courtyard!" Suki waved as she began trotting away. "Try not to have too much fun without me!"

Katara rolled her eyes in amusement, placing her hands lightly in Aang's. He grasped it tenderly, his ears scarlet as he led her out further into the grand room, the music gentle and lovely. He slid his arm around her waist and Katara draped her arms around his neck, her eyes scanning the room.

"How many of these people know me?" she asked. Aang shrugged, looking around, replying, "Quite a few, but there are people here I haven't even met – there are always new families claiming nobility to have a place in Chief Arnook's court. He just so happens to be a nice guy, so he doesn't turn them away. Anyway, more people equals more festivities!"

"That's true, I suppose." She smirked up at him. "So, you really are the Avatar, huh? Last thing I remember, I was with Sokka in a canoe and the airbenders were gone and the Avatar never came back."

Aang laughed lightly, replying, "That was the day you found me, actually! It was by accident – your temper caused a giant wave that released me and Appa from when I had hidden us away from my troubles in the past. If it wasn't for Sokka making you angry, who knows how long I would have stayed down there, hiding from my fate."

Katara kicked up her feet lightly to the music, swaying around Aang as she giggled in response. "Somehow, I believe you."

Aang twisted her in a simple twirl. When she came back to face him, their noses were almost touching and she started, flushing and looking away as he blushed, clearing his throat. They continued swaying, but she kept her gaze from his and stared at the floor.

"There's actually…" he started, "ah… There's actually something I wanted to talk to you about."

She paused, losing her footing to the rhythm of the beat for a moment. "About what?"

"Well, you see… You know how I told you we traveled together?"

"Yes-"

"Well, things…happened. But, there was a war going on. It wasn't the right time." She looked up at him, noticing the stubble on his chin and neck in her closeness. Sometimes she forgot he was – what – seven-and-ten? By his own right, he was well-seasoned in the horrors life was prone to throwing in the faces of the unsuspecting, but there was a childish charm to him, a pure naivety, a young aura of innocence that she didn't mind. She did not mind it at all, in fact. It was a relief to be near him when the rest of the world felt tense.

She didn't respond, only trotted a little circle around him in time to the music and he smiled, pulling her back to him.

"There were feelings," he said finally, almost hesitantly. His eyes rose to meet hers then, unwavering and sincere. "Between us."

Katara paused, faltering mid-step. She tripped on her gown, stumbling forward and Aang caught her by her arms, pulling her back up and she looked around, hooking her hair behind her ears and stuttering,

"B…Between…you and me? Like…feelings – romantic – feelings?" Aang blushed, replying simply, "Yes."

"Oh."

She couldn't bear to look at him straight in the eye – they were so hopeful. He was just staring, like he was never going to blink again until she said something but she couldn't, she couldn't bring herself to do it. It was…out of nowhere, it was all out of nowhere, it was-

"You told me during the war there was no time for acknowledging our feelings and you were right. But now, it's over. Everyone is safe and you're safe." He stepped forward, his grip tightening on her hands and she looked away, doing her best to avoid his earnest gaze. "I spent so long looking for you, Katara. And it finally happened, you came back and now we can finally… I know this is a lot to take in right now. After all, you don't remember me and everything is different. I just…" His shoulders slumped. "I just wanted you to know."

Katara looked around for Suki's white face, for her father's familiar wolfshelm, for the Chief's grand furs, for anyone, but all she could see were strangers and if she wasn't looking at them, she was looking at Aang's gray eyes so deeply watching hers, waiting for her answer. She pulled her hands from his, shaking her gently, biting her lower lip. Her eyes felt hot, her chest tight and Aang's eyebrows were drawing upwards in hurt but she was ignoring it, she was keeping herself from seeing it, she could not see it lest she wanted to cry from the guilt and she did not want to cry, not anymore! It wasn't fair and – gods, oh gods – her chin began quivering and all she could stammer was a tearful, "I'm sorry," before she turned and fled from the one stranger who was brave enough to still love her.

Mai had returned after her petulant outburst during the luncheon, but he was fine without her. If anything, Zuko reflected, the day had passed quicker with less annoyances. Initially, part of him had felt guilty for his separation and distance regarding his fiancée but her constant sighing during their meal had reinforced every doubt he had about their imminent marriage.

Damn the nobles.

He couldn't string them along for much longer, he knew that much. It had been almost three years since he had begrudgingly asked for Mai's hand. It was only a matter of time before they forced a celebration. Mai would become Fire Lady.

Fire Lady.

He grunted, running his fingers through his hair as his litter swayed lightly. The last village was cheerful as ever to see him, as always, and it passed by without much difference than the other appearances, but towards the end he began to feel a thick throbbing in his head from the sheer screaming and cheering.

I hope their throats are sore later.

He sighed, fighting he urge to roll his eyes at himself. It was nice to sit alone, as Iroh had accompanied Mai back to the capital when she stormed off moodily and Ty Lee wanted to spend the rest of the day before the night's festivities touring the villages and reacquainting herself with her old home. Just as he had predicted, it had begun to rain when his litter sought to return to the palace. The Fire Nation had been dry all summer and rain had become rarer in that past years, much to the displeasure of farmers. But now, it was rich and it was a warm rain, the droplets big and bulbous, splattering forcefully upon the stone ground but he didn't feel agitated when the hem of his robes became sopping wet. It made walking a bit harder as the thick fabric clung to his ankles, but he enjoyed the sound of the gutters flooding with water and the feeling of his hair sticking to his skin, if only for the memories it brought.

And now, Zuko had the plush pillows and silks of the carriage all to himself and he stretched out, basking in the silence as he made his way back to the palace. He rustled, his hand darting into his pocket in a mindless moment that unconsciously sought nostalgia, searching for the familiar choker. It was…strange, the feeling it gave him. He did not know if he was sad or angry or guilty – maybe all three but, even so, it also made him feel undeniably calm. In a way, it made him feel as though he were able to pretend as nothing had ever gone wrong. And what would he give, to make it so? What would he give up to bring her back, to find what happened to her brother? A part of him wondered if Aang knew and was keeping it all a secret, but a bigger part of him reminded himself to trust the Avatar that had long since become his close friend. Aang was a monk; lying wasn't possible. It wasn't poss-

Agni.

Where was it?

His fingers had been brushing around inside his pocket aimlessly while this thoughts overpowered his mind, but…but it was gone, it was gone, it wasn't there! How had he not noticed? How had he not noticed the familiar weight? It wasn't possible, it couldn't be – it couldn't be happening!

No…no!

His breaths came quicker, his heart jumping into his throat as he scrambled around, throwing the pillows and throws off the bench, looking for anything blue, anything.

"Stop the carriage!" he shouted. He heard a muffled, "Your Grace?" before a guard's head poked through the window in confusion, his helm shining and wet in the rain. "We need to go back," Zuko panted.

"But Your Grace-"

"Now."

The guard was shifting uncomfortably, his eyes darting around but never meeting the Fire Lord's out of respect and he spoke humbly, "Please, Your Grace, the governor of Omashu has been waiting for your return for tonight's celebration. We should not force him to wait any longer, as General Iroh and Lady Mai are already preparing." Zuko was still incessantly rummaging around, throwing the silks around in his frenzy, ignoring his guard, who added, "Would you like us to send a search party back to the villages to search for whatever it is you lost?"

Zuko paused, glaring up at him. "It isn't that simple. I need it now."

"May I ask what the object is?"

"No, you cannot," the Fire Lord growled, pinching the bridge of his nose. His skin felt as though it had reached the point of boiling long ago and now his blood was a constant stream of pressure, pressing dangerously against his temples, his hair, his clothes, and it was threatening, it was hot, and he wanted to rip his robes from his body in frustration lest they burned to ashes first.

"Your Grace, we cannot turn back."

Zuko paused, glaring up at his guard. Damn you and your so-called loyalty.

"You will send a party?" the Fire Lord asked grudgingly. He didn't want to leave the necklace, her necklace in the hands of a petulant vanguard of sellswords, but – don't be so uncouth; at the very least, they trained for many years just to wipe your ass – he didn't seemingly have any choice. Well, at any rate, the lovely governor of Omashu should count his blessings. The Fire Lord was not pleasant at the best of times, let alone on this day.

Always this day.

He sighed sharply and reluctantly leaned back, fixing his disarrayed topknot and briskly swatting his hand at the guard, motioning him to move the litter. He wanted out. He wanted to break free; he wanted to avoid the palace, but he couldn't, he could never do that, and so he sat motionless, rigid, his hands clenching into fists as he stared blankly ahead, a muscle in his jaw twitching every time he noticed the absence of her blue stone.

The anniversary celebration was still as rampant as ever down in the ballrooms and the gardens, but Mai had slipped quietly away when she spotted a messenger hawk soaring towards the royal quarters.

She wasn't a good person.

She had never been. Azula had made sure of that.

But, in the end…In the end, she always seemed to develop a conscience and do the right thing.

And what a burden that is.

And good was boring, everything was boring; without Azula, nothing was interesting. That was, perhaps, the only thing she missed about her former friend.

If I could have ever truly called you that.

But now…Now, she was no better than Azula. She was just as conniving, just as manipulative, just as bitter as the crazed princess.

Maybe I'll take scissors to my hair, too, one day.

Lady Mai's hands were trembling. Her flat eyes flecked with a pallid gold narrowed. The parchment she held crinkled beneath her grasp as her eyes scanned the words sent from the North:

Wondrous…recovery…celebrate in the North…join…Chief Hakoda…welcome the return…

You will understand…to be kept from you… necessary precautions…

Katara.

It wasn't possible… It wasn't…. It wasn't possible! It couldn't have been! She wanted to scream, she wanted to scream so badly; she wanted to grab her hair and sink to the floor and scream and rip apart the letter – it wasn't fair, it just wasn't fair. Agni, what had she done to be denied happiness? Had she not yet atoned for her sins committed at the orders of Azula? Had she not done everything she could to show her fiancé she wanted to love him? But it…It didn't matter. None of it mattered now.

That…That waterbender. The one everyone loved, she…

She was alive. After all this time… But how?

Mai knew, with a sinking feeling in her chest that made it hard to breathe, that the Fire Lord would leave for the North the moment he read those words. The anniversary celebration was still as rampant as ever down in the ballrooms and the gardens, but Mai had slipped quietly away when she spotted a messenger hawk soaring towards the royal quarters. After all, she had been his friend. She had been his good friend and he…he still could not find solace with the fact she was dead and gone and the tides were still.

You believed you let her die. What will you do once you realize you did not fail at all?

Things would be different. He would be angry at the years of lies and deceit, but the pure notion of her existence would override any resentment he might now hold for those who kept her from him. And the marriage – it would be out of the question. He would surely put it off so he could rush to be by that girl's side and Mai would be left alone….alone, again.

Isn't alone what you want?

She wanted to be left alone; she didn't want to feel alone. And even if her fiancé was hot-headed and broody, she admired him and she did not detest his company like she did with all the others. She didn't want to give that up; she shouldn't have to! All Katara did was die… And Mai, the noble daughter, the loyal fiancée, the future Fire Lady – she had tried so hard the past years. She would not throw it away on a peasant that was lucky in escaping Azula's wrath.

Mai's eyes narrowed into slits and, before she think another conflicted thought, she tossed the letter into the fire in her chambers. She watched it, the firelight dancing in her eyes, curling, pulsing, licking gently yet hungrily and her face did not smile in triumph; it remained steadfast and rigid and stone-like, for she did not feel victorious. If anything, she still felt as though she had lost.

But now, as she watched the parchment curl into itself before falling to ash, she felt strangely cold and so she wrapped her arms around herself.

Is this treason?

No…

It is… Love.

"I fear ash is harder to read than words."

She jumped, whipping around, her heart stopping in her chest.

"Lord Iroh," she gasped, color flushing her pallid cheeks. He was standing in the doorway, his hands folded together beneath the sleeves of his robes and his face was a stern mask of disapproval. She squirmed under his gaze, which was so unlike his usual cheery demeanor. He did not speak for a long time; perhaps, at another time, this would have relieved her but in this moment, it was agonizing.

Say something, old man.

And then, finally:

"Do you realize what you have done?"

He sounded…angry. Will you now show me why they call you the Dragon of the West?

"I had to," she said simply, her face stoic, masking the pattering of her heart and the fear in her eyes. She was painfully aware of the constant crackling of the fire next to her, the ashes of Chief Hakoda's letter mocking her as they sifted lifelessly against the burning wood.

"But you already knew, didn't you?" she asked coolly. Her hands were hidden by her sleeves, her fingers brushing against a shuriken. Just in case.

"Yes, I have known for quite some time," Iroh replied quietly, walking further into the room until he came to rest next to Mai, his eyes fixated on the fireplace.

"But how?"

A small smile played at the general's lips. "Spirits are fickle at the best of times," he said. "Even I have had difficulty interpreting their many meanings. I spent many long years among the spirits, but it still was quite the shock when they came to me one night and I saw her. I saw our Katara, so small and frail, as she was taken into the Spirit World to avoid death at the late Princess Yue's wishes. And so, I must admit, it is true, my lady, that I have known for five years the true fate of our beloved waterbender and that I have been anxiously waiting to see how long it would take her father to reveal this to our nation."

Mai was speechless, her usual stoic face alight with disbelief. No broody, sarcastic remark. No sigh of discontent or boredom. No rolling of the eyes. Nothing. She was still, frozen, her eyes wide with the shock, her lips parting in a small "o".

"Y-you…" she began finally. "If you knew, why keep it from Lord Z- the Fire Lord?" Her hands tightened into fists beneath her sleeves. "You saw how much it hurt him, how it…how it tore him apart. You saw what it did to him."

"There was no guarantee she would awaken, my lady. Could I spark hope in my nephew's heart, only to have it extinguished again by the very water he missed so dearly? No, I could not bear it if he were to lose her again.

"I love my nephew, my Lady," Iroh continued, and there was a hint of sadness in his voice. "But he is a slave to his emotions. Lady Katara was a dear friend to him – she was a dear friend to us all; if he knew she was not truly dead, he would have left the Fire Nation to be with her. I did not know what he would find if he made the journey to the North, but I did not wish upon him the burden of finding out."

"That is no excuse to lie to him for years." Mai was leaning against the wall now, her arms crossed in disgust. She hated that waterbender, that much was obvious, but she hated liars even more. They reminded her of Azula. It seems the entire line of royal blood is tainted. After all, her fiancé was a liar, too. He lied to her face when he asked for her hand and she could see no trace of conflict or guilt in his eyes.

"And yet, are you not doing the same?" Iroh asked. Mai straightened, her eyes narrowing angrily.

"Tch…" she spat. She brushed her bangs to the side, rolling her eyes as she snapped, "I burned the letter out of a wifely desire to marry – as a duty to my people. I burned it out of love."

"Then we are guilty of the same crime," Iroh said. Mai spluttered, shaking her head.

"It doesn't matter!" she shouted. She hated shouting. She hated raising her voice above any monotonous decibel but Agni, he was pissing her off. He may be the Dragon of the West, but he was nothing more than a hypocritical, judgmental, old man who-

"There is," the general started softly, "another reason why I did not wish to tell my nephew of Lady Katara's fate."

Mai's face remained flat in anger as she watched Iroh, albeit her secret interest in his words. He clasped his hands behind him and sighed quietly.

"I have heard word among the spirits," he said. "Usually, I do not put all my trust in them, but…This time they spoke of the Avatar's protection over the waterbender, how he spent long years looking for her in the Spirit World. He succeeded; Aang was never one to give up easily…a true Avatar, but, there was a dire cost to the comatose state that kept her from death, one even Yue could not prevent.

"She has no memories," Iroh said, looking down. "She remembers no one, not even Aang, her closest friend."

"No one?"

"She opened her eyes believing she was still a child, three-and-ten with her brother. Both of those things have come and gone; I believe this is the reason Chief Hakoda has waited until now to send word of her awakening. It all must be very frightening and confusing for her."

"You're telling me."

"If Zuko abandoned his duties as Fire Lord to reunite with Katara only to find she did not know who he was…I think the shock and the hurt would outweigh the guilt he has held for years. He would not be the same."

"So, I'm off the hook," Mai replied, sighing. "I'm feeling rather hungry at the moment. If you'll excuse me-"

"Do not be so quick to leave, my lady. Chief Hakoda has always held good judgment. If he believes now is the true time for my nephew to know everything, then I will not question his decision." Iroh looked at her sternly, his eyebrows knitted together. "You will tell my nephew what you have done. You will tell him of Lady Katara's survival-"

"He will leave me-"

"With your head, at the very least. Withholding documents from the Fire Lord, regardless of nobility, is treason, my Lady. I do not think Zuko would ever wish to harm you, but you must tell him everything."

"And if I don't?" Mai replied haughtily. "Surely you should tell him of your own withholding of information? I don't doubt there is a penalty of treason for that as well, Lord Iroh." She spit out his name like a poison, but the general made no sudden reaction, which disappointed her slightly.

"There is no other option," the Dragon of the West said stiffly, the firelight dancing in the wrinkles on his face. "Zuko will know. He will hear of your actions. He will hear of mine, as well. I would be lying, Lady Mai, if I said I did not worry about how he will react to our words. There is a grand possibility…Yes, he might just come to hate us." Iroh held out his hand, leaning down as his fingertips brushed through the fire, unscathed and delicate as the flames licked at his skin. The old man looked sad, Mai reflected, and she could not help but notice the similarities between his and her fiancé's eyes.

"He needs a chance for honor," Iroh said, so quietly Mai almost could not hear him. "He needs…to redeem himself from the guilt – just as we do."

Notes: I didn't want to make Iroh seem like a bad guy at all, so hopefully you can understand why he kept secret what he did! Also, I didn't explicitly say this, but you can assume Hakoda and Aang and company were in cahoots with Iroh and they all agreed to keep it quiet from Zuko, since he was such a brand-new Fire Lord. So, poor Zuko, but it was for the best, so I hope all the reasons for secrecy make sense now!

Mai, on the other hand... Someone needs to watch that girl at all times. Tisk tisk.

Onward my friends! Another chapter awaits you :)