"Tell me what you want to hear,
Something that will light those ears.
I'm sick of all the insincere.
I'm gonna give all my secrets away."
The paper in my jacket pocket had burned a hole in it the entire way home, but I let it burn until I was upstairs in my room.
It wasn't just his number, but his name was also scribbled along the top. Kol Mikaelson.
The way he spelled his name was different, but I liked it. It was also the first I had heard the last name of the Original family, but it fit with the time they came from—they were the sons of Mikael, thus making them the Mikaelson family.
We just never really thought about it, as there were so many different places last names originated from.
Putting his number into my phone was probably the biggest mistake I could've made. He was already stuck in my head after the day we had had, but to have his number easily accessible, where all I had to do was text him . . . it was dangerous.
Kol was an Original vampire, the worst of them all. Texting him, being friends with him . . . it wasn't a good idea, but what choice did I have? If I didn't, if I hurt his feelings, who was to say he wouldn't tell everyone who he was and what I had done?
Then, what about the parts of me that wanted to be friends with him, or more? The undeniable pull I felt toward him, the pull that had me taking the dagger out without thinking twice about the consequences of what I was doing, was a mystery. Didn't I owe it to myself to figure out what it was?
After pushing myself through math homework, my weak willed heart shoved me over the edge of the dangerous cliff, into the dark territory that lay below. Kol was ridiculously attractive, and he wore arrogant well. Most people couldn't pull arrogant off without being obnoxious, but most of the time, he did.
So . . . the sane parts of me are telling me to delete this as I'm typing it, but I guess everyone has a bit of crazy buried deep inside that they can't resist in the end.
To distract myself from what I had done, I let my mind fill with other thoughts and stepped out of my room, walking down the hall and past Elena's room. The closed door to Jeremy's room didn't actually surprise me, and even though I knew the response I was gonna get, I knocked anyways.
"I don't wanna talk."
"Just making sure you're decent." The cold knob stung against my hand as I grabbed on it and turned, pushing the door open with enough force to send it flying but not too much as to break anything. "Because I do wanna talk."
"Talk about what?" he snapped. "Talk about how I screwed up? I already know that."
"Yeah, you did," I agreed, but I didn't let his pessimism kill the conversation. Instead, my bare feet danced from the doorway over to his bed, where I hopped on and very quickly began making myself at home, much to his annoyance. "I'm just curious how you plan to fix it."
"There is no fixing it," he said, and his eyebrows rose. "Bonnie runs away any time she sees me. How am I supposed to fix anything?"
I shrugged. "She may run away, but I don't see you chasing after her. Stop being compliant. You wanna fix things with Bonnie? Then fix them. Don't just mope around feeling sorry for yourself."
The corners of his eyes tightened as they locked on me, but the anger was fading, curiosity taking its place quickly. "What do you have in mind?"
"Flowers." The sweats I had changed into were tight, but loose enough to not restrict movement, but they were so tight that even as I folded my legs Indian style on his bed, I still felt the soft vibration of the phone in my pocket. "Write a card. Draw her a picture of herself. You're a smart kid, Jer. Think of something."
"I'm not the flowers kinda guy," he disagreed, and he shook his head. "I think a picture of her might be too much."
"That's your choice then," I sighed. "I think you not being a flowers type of guy is just gonna make it that much more special to her. Don't be overly obnoxious about it. Just bring them to her after school one day, before she gets in her car, or maybe even before. Be subtle about it. Don't try to openly bombard her with flowers. Bonnie is a romantic, but she's not vibrant like Caroline."
"That's one thing I love about her," he said, but just the casual conversation we were having right now got his lips curling up into a smile, all remnants of pain trickling into oblivion so space was left for the good feelings. "She just wants to be loved and appreciated, you know? She doesn't expect grand gestures. All she wants is devotion." His eyebrows furrowed. "And I screwed that up."
"Well, if all she wants is devotion, devote yourself to winning her back," I said. "Flowers are just a start. Apologize to her, directly. Write her a letter if you struggle to find the words. I know it won't be easy, but relationships never are."
He snorted. "Right. How many have you been in?"
"Ouch."
It had been a lighthearted comment, just a little brother picking fun at his big sister, but there wasn't anything playful about it, not on the inside. Jeremy understood the lonely feeling that I had felt my entire life, but after our parents died, no one was there to pick the broken pieces back up. Jeremy found Vicki, and Elena found Stefan. At the time, Damon was running on basically zero emotions or sanity, so it wasn't like I could just go for the other Salvatore brother.
That was just a bad time in a lot of people's lives. Matt and Elena broke up, leaving him heartbroken, and our parents were dead, so of course we were all devastated. Caroline's parents' divorce was still pretty fresh on her mind, so she was struggling to cope with that, even if she tried acting like she was totally fine with it. Then of course Bonnie's life had always been complicated, with her mom walking out when she was just three years old forcing her to live with her dad and grandmother. It wasn't even her dad's mom that was helping him raise her; it was her mom's.
Things were just hard for all of us for a while, but of course, that was only the beginning of the hardships in Mystic Falls.
After the Salvatore brothers came to town, death and chaos followed. It was the life of a vampire.
All the hardships this town had faced were really easy to blame on them, and Jeremy did. It was why he hated them so much; if Stefan and Damon hadn't stayed in town when they saw Elena, we probably would've gone our entire lives without anyone finding out that the doppelgänger was alive.
How could they have been expected to leave? They had no idea why she looked exactly like Katherine, only that she did. It wasn't like they knew danger would follow them because of what she looked like.
More than that, Katherine had been the woman they loved, the woman who turned them into vampires. Why would they leave the human version of her without even getting to know her?
Was it selfish? Maybe, depending on how you looked at it. Without knowing what would follow if they stayed and brought attention to her, it really wasn't all that selfish.
While Jeremy's eyes fell away from me, once he realized what he had said and who he had said it to, I took that chance to pull my phone out and steal a glance at the text from Kol.
I'm definitely into crazy.
This didn't go unnoticed by Jeremy, and he actually began to smirk a little, especially when he saw me sending a quick text back.
Aren't you the textbook definition of it?
"Play victim all you want, but I saw you and the new guy," he informed me. "I give it a week. I mean, you're already texting?"
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna date him," I said.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized how inevitable it must've seemed to everyone. What excuse could I honestly give, though? "Yeah, it was just too risky." Pretty sure all of my friends would actually slap me if I tried that one.
Good things in life didn't come easy. Most times, they came from taking a risk, so was this a risk worth taking? Getting to know an Original vampire?
He had killed more people than I could probably ever imagine, done horrible things that would make me physically sick if I actually found out about it, but did that mean he didn't deserve to be loved?
A lot of people in the world would've said it did, but love is powerful enough to change the world. If everyone gave a little more love, even to the people who probably didn't deserve it, that was what would stop wars.
The perfect example of what I believed was the Now music video Paramore did. It was just a staged fight, but it was very powerful, seeing her run up to the man dressed as the dictator and just hugging him. If more people found and received love, there would be more love around the world to give.
"You know how many guys I've seen you text after just meeting them?" he asked, and as my face began to scrunch, his smile only widened. "One—this new guy. What's his name again?"
"Kol." It felt good to take a deep breath, to try and focus my thoughts. "I don't know, Jer. He's . . . not like anyone else I've ever met before."
His eyes widened a bit. "That's intense. What's the problem if you know he's different?"
Feeling my phone vibrate again gave me the much needed distraction from his question, since that wasn't really a question I had an answer to right now. The real problem was something I couldn't talk about, not without telling everyone that I had let the three Originals out of their coffins yesterday.
Well, you got me there, but I'm trying to learn some semblance of sanity.
While I hadn't thought much about what he might say back to that, what he actually said wasn't even remotely what I would've even expected.
Trying to learn sanity?
What made you decide to do something like that? You're the maniac, remember?
"I guess it's just fear holding me back," I finally said, after sending the text and tossing my phone to the side, just a bit away from me on Jeremy's bed. It wasn't that I planned to ignore it from this point forward, but on the contrary, it would've been easier to see it when I got a new text. "I'm so used to people seeing me, finding a way to ignore my quirks, and then seeing Elena and realizing they don't have to, leaving me in the dust."
"We've already established that those people are idiots," he reminded me. "Don't tell Elena, but I think you're the prettier one."
The smile that came to my face was automatic, and my eyes darted over to him, looking at the smile already on his lips and the sincerity in his eyes. Jeremy wasn't one to just make shit up to make someone feel better. He was a no-bullshit kinda guy; he'd even tell a vampire to fuck off. Gilbert ring that brought him back to life any time something supernatural killed him aside, he didn't back down or pretend to feel a different way about anything.
"Yeah, but you're weird."
This time, Jeremy felt my phone vibrate, as it was just an inch or so away from his foot, and his smile twisted into a smirk, those eyes losing all semblance of kindness as satisfaction came out instead.
"If I'm so weird, why does this new guy, who all the girls are talking about being the hottest guy to ever come to Mystic Falls, agree with me?" he challenged.
There were so many ways I could've protested it, but they all would've had the same outcome, at least without admitting the truth. Kol stuck around me because I was the one to let him out. I knew who he was.
That still didn't explain why he was here. He said it was to thank me properly, but enrolling in school seemed a bit much for just thanking me. There had to be some kind of ulterior motive behind it all. The thought of it all was nice, but Kol wasn't hanging around me because he found me pretty.
When a beautiful woman removes a dagger from your chest after it had been there for over a century, and she's the first thing you see, it puts a bit of a new perspective on things.
What do I really know about anything, ever?
Nothing, apparently.
That wouldn't be the first time I've been called beautiful, but most people change their tune once they meet Elena. Apparently her compassion is more endearing than my sass.
"That was a long message," Jeremy noted, not even a second after I hit the button to send it to Kol. "Come on, Darc. You know you can tell me all about it. I won't judge."
"I'm more curious as to what you plan to do about Bonnie, besides just sit around and mope," I disagreed. "Come on, Jer. Let's think of something. Flowers before or after school, a note or monologue about all the different ways you screwed up, and how about a picture? Maybe not of her directly but something that reminds you of her, like fire or a rose—anything. What do you see and automatically think of Bonnie?"
"A candle," he said, without even thinking about it for a second. As he said it, a ghost of a smile touched the corners of his lips. "The first time I realized she was extraordinary was after I watched her light a candle with her magic, and I was fascinated ever since. After that, I can't look at a candle without thinking about her."
"So draw a candle," I suggested. "And not just any old boring candle. Make it fucking exquisite, like the gem that Bonnie is. All of this combined, Jer, and I think Bonnie might be willing to forgive you, or at least give you a second chance."
"I hope so."
The phone vibrating in my hand was a bit more muffled, at least the sound it made, but it was easier to feel, the vibrations actually seeping through my skin and touching the surface of the bone inside, or it felt that way anyways.
No offense, darling, but your sister doesn't seem as fun. I've been in a coffin for almost a century. I'm in dire need of entertainment.
Sitting in here talking to Jeremy while texting Kol was rude, so with my purpose for being in here finished—getting Jeremy to fight for Bonnie back—my legs untangled themselves, and my feet fell onto the cold wood floors. While I wasn't super short, actually right about average height for a woman, I weighed little enough that stepping almost silently was possible, even without trying.
"We'll talk later," I said. Before leaving, I stopped to grab the knob, pulling the door almost completely closed, with only enough room for me to poke my head back in. "If you need anything, you know where I'm at."
"Yeah," he agreed. "Go on, Darcy. Thank you, for everything. You're always good at kicking me in the ass when I need it."
I smirked. "What are big sisters for?"
Hearing a laugh, one that wasn't forced or half-hearted, made me feel a lot better about his well-being than when I first came in there. His love for Anna, the inability to properly say goodbye, blinded him to what he was doing, to the point that he didn't even really think that it was such a big deal. After it happened, of course he knew that it was, and he wanted to make his mistakes right. He realized that he had lost Bonnie, and that deeply hurt him.
Jeremy wasn't an expert in love either, however, so for him, righting his wrong seemed like an impossible task.
Lucky for him, I knew Bonnie, and I knew what it would take to get at least a second chance. She would definitely be wary to trust him again, but all he needed was a second chance to prove that he could do the right thing, love her the way that she deserved.
Until I was back in the safety of my room, with my door closed completely, I didn't pull my phone back out to send the text to Kol. Until the soft sheets were underneath me, cool to the touch, with my head falling back into the fluffy pillow it usually rested on whenever I closed my eyes, I didn't pull the messages back up.
Is that all I am to you? Entertainment?
It was a pretty bold question, one I didn't allow myself to think about before sending it. Second guessing myself led to hesitation, which could lead to not getting the answers I was gonna need if this was gonna go any further, even to friendship.
Who was I kidding? Of course we were already friends. If we weren't, why didn't I tell anyone who he was? Surely there was more to it than protecting my ass.
Of course not. You're a mystery to me, a beautiful and magnificent complexity that I've never known in my life.
That was so much more than the text I had always wanted to get from a crush, more than just, You are so beautiful. It was generic, but once in my life, I wanted to hear that from someone who was romantically interested in me, not just family or friends who were pretty much obligated to tell me that.
As I lay in bed, thinking about the situation I had found myself in, a new thought occurred to me: what if Kol found out that I was a werewolf?
So far, we had kept it hidden from pretty much everyone. Tyler and Caroline knew, as Tyler had helped me keep from triggering my curse at one point, but outside of the small circle of friends, people didn't know. Without knowing who my father was, there was no way for them to know.
There was also the witch side of me, but maybe that wasn't such an important secret to keep. The fact that I couldn't produce magic of my own might've been a secret to keep, at least until I understood it, but just the fact that I was a witch? What would it change? I wasn't powerful, not even remotely.
If the wrong person found out about the werewolf side of me, however, it was only a matter of time before Klaus found out. Would he make me a hybrid, just because he could? There was a bit of a shortage of werewolves, especially after he created so many hybrids without knowing that he had to give them doppelgänger blood to complete their transition. What vampires hadn't killed out over the years, Klaus was doing a pretty damn good job of killing himself.
I didn't want to become one of his hybrid bitches. Having to listen to his demands to protect the ones I loved was bad enough. To have to do it because I didn't have another choice was the worst kind of hell I could imagine on earth . . . one that didn't involve torture and blood and all kinds of horrible physical things.
So Kol couldn't know then, but how long could I expect myself to keep it from him? Clearly, this was something at least remotely more for him, and I didn't have the willpower to keep myself away, as I was so clearly proving to myself when I texted him in the first place.
All I had to do was tell him to shove it, to demand he leave me alone, but I hadn't done that, not once.
If he found out, would he tell Klaus? Would his hatred for his brother and what he had done to him fuel him to keep this secret from him?
There really wasn't any way to say for certain, so until I knew that I could trust him, I had to do whatever I could to make sure he didn't find out.
Right now, all he could know was that I was a doppelgänger with the ability to use magic, and even that part would just have to come later, once I knew what the connection we had really was.
A/N: So I woke up to seven story followers and a review, which is amazing! You guys are awesome! I'm glad you guys like it so far. I'm trying to keep everyone in character as much as possible, but I'll probably slip every now and then. I hope you guys like this story anyways!
The lyrics at the beginning are from the song Secrets by OneRepublic. :) I hope you guys continue to enjoy my story! Let me know what you think as it progresses.
As always, read, review, and enjoy! :)