Chapter 33: What the Heart Wants
His mind felt numb as he stared into the room before him.
It was dark…it was cold…and it was empty.
She's gone…
He sucked in a deep shuddering breath as he stared at the empty neatly made bed.
Not a single dust particle was moving an inch…until he stepped into the room
Gone…
He reached quickly lit a flame in his palm and its light flickered brightly in the space before him.
But even as he moved it about, no shadow or trace could he see of life.
It was as if no one had ever even lived there for the past two years at all.
As if she had never existed at all.
But she had, Zuko's teeth gritted hard, she had existed, here in this room, on this ship. She had lived here, slept here, laughed, cried, ate, cooked…
Zuko's heart raced a mile a minute as he rushed out the room and down towards the galley, not heeding the last stragglers of his ship's crew, all of whom were giving him sad sympathetic eyes as he disappeared into the kitchens.
The sight he met there was even worse. All the food-stocks had been kept in their spots as had all the spare cooking utensils. But neither the head cook Dango, or Jade were anywhere in sight.
All that was there was a lukewarm clay pot of Jasmine tea sitting on the cold stove and something green and shining on the floor.
Zuko quickly snatched it up in his fingers, his breath catching painfully in his chest as he recognised the small kanji engraved in the jade pendant.
Luck…there's no such thing…
He raised his hand, his eyes shutting tight, steeling himself as he aimed his fist forwards-
But his fingers just would not open…and his arm would not throw…
Instead it fell to his side and gripped the green stone harder, his eyes burning as liquid salt streamed down both of the Prince's cheeks.
"You made the right decision brother. That boy's quest was going to lead to nothing but folly, and you and your family would be stuck forever wandering the seas. At least now there is hope for you all to return home with honour and-"
Jade barely heard her uncle's smug tones as she gazed out the window of the Rhino drawn carriage.
It had been barely two hours since she had left the ship. Two hours since she'd left the Prince behind.
Zuko…
Would he be mad? No that was stupid, of course he'd be mad?
But would he understand? Would he know why she left? Would he know she didn't want to leave? That she was forced? Would he come after her, like he did when Kira had taken her?
Or would she never see him again?
She felt her eyes water as she gazed out over the ship that was swiftly dwindling further and further away.
The sight was enough to make her blood boil, but not as much as the small glare she shot at Zhao as she chanced a glance at his bragging form.
"And now of course with the invasion fleet almost prepared-"
Just when I thought he couldn't sink any lower…
Jade turned to glare out the window again her hand reaching up to her chest…only to feel nothing there.
Her heart stilled.
"Wait!" she cried out, so suddenly that Zhao actually jumped in his seat.
"What is it girl?" he snarled all pretences forgotten as he sneered upon his niece as she searched about herself.
"Jade? What's wrong" Ruishi asked with worry.
"Mom's necklace!" Jade squeaked, as she rummaged through her rucksack in a panic. "it's not here!"
"might be in one of the seats" Shen shook his head as began to fiddle under one of the cushions, but Jade shook her head.
"No it's not I already checked! It must be in the ship! I have to go back!" she raised her hand to grip the door handle but Zhao quickly pulled her back with a sneer.
"My dear if that is the case it is already long gone. Do not worry, when this invasion is over and your father's honour and station is returned you will be able to buy a hundred jade necklaces of more value than that silly trinket"
Jade felt her gut churn as if on fire.
That monster…that greedy selfish…
Her eyes blazed a hot green fire as she glared up at Zhao, the earth beneath the carriage so tantalizingly close that it took her all she had not to bend it into his face as she hissed
"That silly trinket oh uncle, is worth more than any stinking jewel, and my father is a hundred times more honourable than you, even without a title or honour to his name. You'd do well to remember that"
"And you'd do well to remember your place you little-" Zhao's lips curled into a snarl.
"Zhao" Ruishi barked as he yanked his brother's hand from his daughter.
Zhao almost snapped back to his brother, but faltered at the dangerous gleam in his eye.
"Very well. We shall halt the carriage. But if you really wish to go back to your prince or that metal tub then you will have to make the journey on foot" he scowled.
"Fine by me" Jade responded coolly…though not coolly enough to mask the wetness of her eyes.
But Zhao didn't care. If looks could've killed, his gaze might have killed Jade ten times over and more as he ordered the carriage to halt.
As soon as the rhino's had pulled to a stop, Jade was already getting outand she dashing away from them on fast feet.
"Jade wait!" Shen cried about to jump from his seat but Ruishi stopped him.
"Stay here. I'll go"
Poor Zuko…
Lord Iroh shook his head sadly to himself as he gingerly chanced a peek through the doorway of the prince's quarters.
Zuko was still laying there on his bedroll, alone, glaring up at the ceiling in half darkness.
Iroh was willing to bet he hadn't even moved a millimetre since he'd last checked in on him…if he had even moved at all since he'd first flumped down in a rage an hour or so ago.
Indeed, Iroh was impressed the boy had even heard him arrive what with the way his thoughts obviously weighed on his mind.
"You know, the crew wanted me to wish you safe travels" he tried murmuring only to wince as Zuko snapped.
"Good riddance to those traitors"
"It's a lovely night for a walk" Iroh persisted gently "Why don't you join me? It would clear your head… Or just stay in your room and sit in the dark. Whatever makes you happy…"
Zuko just rolled over, turning his back on him.
Lord Iroh sighed heavily and left the room, not noticing the slight shaking of his nephew's shoulders as he clenched his eyes shut, his hands gripped tight around a fleck of green.
"Jade! Jade! Wait!"
Jade turned to see both her father running after her and stopped in her tracks her eyes spilling over with fresh tears.
"I'm sorry" she blubbered as Ruishi caught up to her side.
"Shh…Shh…it's okay…It's okay" Ruishi hushed her gently as he pulled her into his arms.
"No-no it's not okay. It's not okay just…Leaving him like this …" she spluttered into her father's chest "I thought I could do it, for us, for this family. I thought I could leave and put it all behind me-but-but-I didn't even say goodbye… how could I even think about doing that to him after all that's happened, it's so wrong."
"Perhaps…" nodded solemnly into her crown "but perhaps what is worse is that you're leaving someone you care that much about in the first place"
Jade pulled back just in time to see the first tear in her father's eyes fall.
"Father?"
"Jade" Ruishi smiled through watering eyes "maybe I haven't been the most understanding of fathers, but what I see between you and that prince…that I do understand for it was just like that for your mother and I. I loved her, then and now and if she were alive I know she would agree with me when I say that there is nothing either of us I wanted more than for you and your brother to find happiness with the ones you love just like we did."
Jade stared at her father wide eyed.
Was he saying…what she thought he was saying?
"For so long I thought I could protect you from the world. But now I see it is folly for no matter what I do Jade you are part of this world and you need to live in it as fully as you can and as you want to."
"Oh Father…" Jade sobbed as she held onto him once more. But though tears were streaming down her face, she also couldn't help the smile of joy.
Just as her own father couldn't stop his own tears.
She just left …how could she just leave? With no goodbye's nothing. Just gone…
Zuko could've almost punched the wall opposite where he lay again as he turned over to face it for the umpteenth time.
He should've know it was all too good to be true. The kissing, the smiles, the warmth…the promise of her staying with him…
Lies! All lies!
And yet for all the hurt he felt he still could not find the strength to chuck the jade pendant in his clenched fist away.
Thump!
Zuko's eyes flew open.
"Uncle!" he called as he leapt off his bed and flung open his door "Uncle is that you?"
There was no response, but Zuko was sure he could hear footsteps on the metal above his head…footsteps that were not his uncle's.
She couldn't have come back? Could she?
His heart raced at the thought though his brain sneered coldly from within.
No…it's more like an intruder…keep your guard up…
Eyes narrowed suspiciously, Zuko quickly wrapped the jade pendant around his wrist his arms flying out into a defensive position as he heard the footsteps once more above his head.
Swiftly he moved down the corridor, keeping his guard up as he inspected and turned corners until he came to the foot of the tall staircase leading up to the command tower.
It was empty save for a couple of barrels that had leaked out powder onto the floor.
The crew must've knocked it over on the way out
He reasoned dully as he stepped over it and ascended up the stairs.
His going was slow and less guarded.
The ship was empty and it was dark, no wonder he thought he'd be hearing things.
Maybe some fresh air on the balcony might clear my head
The prince sighed to himself as he opened the door only to jump as he heard a loud thunk and a squeak of surprise.
"Ow! What the- Oh…"
Zuko felt his heart stop as someone straightened up from where they had been crouching by the helm.
Someone with long brown hair and green eyes that flickered to gaze fixedly down into her fiddling hands.
"h-hey…" Jade blushed deeply to the roots of her hair.
Zuko just stared at her, wide eyed and gaping in silence as he took in her appearance.
She looked unkempt, her red robes wrinkled and her hair messy, as if she had just rushed a great distance. Her green eyes were slightly red as if she had been crying, a fact proven further by the almost dried up tear tracks that streaked her now rosy cheeks.
Her lips trembled as she tried to give him a small smile.
"I…I came back" she mumbled as she bravely took a step forwards. "If…if that's okay with you?"
Her face fell slightly when he stayed silent but she continued to ramble on nonetheless, green eyes shining with nervous hope.
"I talked to my father…and we said goodbye. I know it seems stupid, like I'm trying to get permission from him to live my life, but I know I don't need that. I just…I just didn't think he'd understand what I feel for you-But well he must because if he didn't my brother or I wouldn't be here and-"
She was cut off as a pair of arms wrapped around her tight and a mouth crashed into hers.
Zuko grinned as he deepened the embrace, his half lidded eyes watching as she relaxed and shut hers and she melted into him.
"You talk too much Lucky" he breathed against her lips as they broke apart for air and was pleased to hear the small breathless giggle in his ear as he held her close once more, the sound mingling oddly with a strange squawking sound from the open balcony.
"Just a gull" Jade giggled as the prince scowled and looked up to spot the offending bird, only to see a green and gold crested lizard parrot sitting on the railing outside.
That bird…I've seen it before but…
"Oh no" Zuko breathed.
"What is it?" Jade followed his gaze.
Then she too saw the lizard-parrot and her eyes widened in horror.
"Zuko-"
KABBOOOM!
and that is where i'll leave you :)
not for eternity mind you, but just till my goddamn flu buggers off! (Man i hate flu season)
but in better hopeful news, OZ comic-con is coming to Sydney next week so i'm super stoked and getting super excited and inspired for a lot of my fics again so hopefully i might be able to get some back underway before long!
so on that note, adieu and keep reading and reviewing if you want more ;)