"Then I think of the start,
And it echoes a spark.
And I remember the magic electricity.
Then I look in my heart.
There's a light in the dark,
Still a flicker of hope that you first gave to me
That I wanna keep.
Please don't leave."
Somehow, Elena and I managed to convince Stefan and Damon that she wasn't going to go tonight, that she would stay home and let me go alone. They probably wouldn't have believed us had we not gotten Bonnie and Jeremy in on it as well, claiming that they, too, would stay behind and keep an eye on her.
They didn't like the idea of her going, but they respected that it was her choice to make. If the Original witch wanted her dead, she was going to kill her, but I didn't imagine it was going to be at the ball. There were far better places for her to do that.
Elena and I helped one another find a dress, with Elena's being far more stunning than the almost vintage gown that I picked out for myself. The gown wasn't over the top, dripping with sequins that demanded attention—not that there was anything wrong with that, but tonight, it was essential that I blended in as much as possible. A baby pink color, with white lace embellishing the bottom hem of the skirt as well as a small bit of lace that decorated the mid-section of the dress, the A-line skirted dress was everything I needed it to be. Tonight wasn't about having a magical evening at the ball. It was about telling Kol that I had to leave town and taking his distraction at his mother's ball as a chance to get away.
Right now, until I was certain about all of this, I didn't want him to know. If he even believed me that they were his kids, which I didn't imagine he would all things considered, he had to worry about saving his own life, not mine and this child's. His mother had dark plans ahead, for both of us, but the only way to ensure we both made it out alive was to go our separate ways.
It probably would've been easier to just disappear, but I just didn't have it in my heart to leave without at least saying goodbye, without telling him that I loved him. He had to know that, and he deserved to hear it from me.
Damon and Stefan had bought a car to transport us all in comfortably, as neither Damon or Stefan's car could fit three people, but I had barely paid attention to the sleek black Buick sedan they escorted me into.
I thought about bringing a shrug, to help with the fact that the dress was strapless, but I wore a white skirted wool coat instead. It was a lot warmer anyways.
The entire way to the ball, Damon and Stefan were in the front seat strategizing, talking about the best thing for all of us to do to figure out why Esther was really back—I knew, but I hadn't told anyone about the visit she paid me out—but my mind wasn't on Esther or even the ball at all.
All I could think about was the life inside of my stomach, the early stages of a child that was going to defy nature itself. What exactly would this child be? It was surely going to be alive, but would there be vampire blood within its veins?
My mind was on the child, but it drifted to everything I was giving up tonight. It drifted to Kol, who had been the best part of my life thus far, and all I could think about was how broken he was going to be when I told him that I was leaving, that he couldn't come with me. Would it take breaking up with him to get him to let me go? I didn't imagine he would believe me when I broke up with him anyways.
Somehow, I had to say goodbye to him without Esther overhearing our conversations, but it still had to be public enough that I could get away from him. I didn't imagine he was just gonna watch me walk away so easily.
All the happiness I had felt over the past month or so was going to be gone, by my own choice. Was that what motherhood was? Giving up everything to safely raise your child?
It didn't seem right, as people always talked about how wonderful being a parent was, even through the hard parts, but essentially, life did completely change and turn around when a baby was brought into the picture. At least it was supposed to, especially if dangerous habits were involved.
Some people didn't have to give up everything, but there were probably some out there giving up a lot more. Some, instead of aborting their child and hiding their sins, got themselves thrown out of their houses to have this child, to bring a life into the world.
Becoming a mother was complicated, something I wasn't anywhere near ready for, but it was time to start learning and figuring it all out.
I hoped that I would be a good mother, even if I didn't know the first thing about how to be one. Sure, I could always go off of Miranda's example, as she had been a wonderful mother, but the situation was completely different. This was a child that was probably considered an abomination by nature. The Original witch said herself that she would kill me to ensure that the child was never born, in less words than that.
Not only did I have to be the best mother I could be, I had to protect it from the world around it, the inevitable danger that it was going to be in simply because it existed. Right now, the hows and whys didn't really matter. All that mattered was this child's safety.
Damon and Stefan had allowed me to get ready at their place, as their bathroom was much larger. I didn't tell them that the real reason was so they wouldn't see Elena getting ready herself.
I hadn't actually expected her to already be here, but she had just arrived around the same time we did. She was headed for the stairs, leading towards the elaborate doors of the stunning mansion—I hadn't been here since it was completely finished—but stopped when she saw the Buick pull around the rounded driveway. There was a man working valet, so we were all able to get out and allow him to park the car wherever it was supposed to be parked.
Damon was the first to get out, and his eyes were blazing. "Are you out of your mind?"
"Leave it alone, Damon," Elena said, and she pressed her lips together. "Esther wants to talk to me. There's a reason for that. Let's go inside and find out what that reason is."
Though I imagined that Esther had invited almost the whole town, I wasn't actually prepared for the whole town to be waiting inside the doors. Everyone in the room was dressed for the occasion, wearing different gowns of different types, but the inside of the house looked marvelous.
The white lace heels I wore made a loud noise on the floors beneath me, cutting through some of the mild chatter around the room. Everything smelled so lovely, with flowers decorating some of the sections of the marvelous and grand room we stood in. Lights twinkled from the railings, giving the room an elegant touch that even the Lockwood mansion struggled to match.
We had barely stepped inside the room and had our jackets taken from us when we noticed the five Original siblings standing near one another, talking amongst the crowd and politely introducing themselves to those that didn't know them. They all were dressed for the occasion, but the one that stuck out the most to me was the very man I needed to speak with, the one that I didn't want to lose right now.
Kol cleaned up well. It wasn't the first time I had seen him in a suit of sorts, but it was the first time it was a full out formal suit, bow-tie and all. His hair had been trimmed up since I last saw him, but the moment his eyes met mine, there was nothing else in the world that could've compared to the beauty that was within those warm eyes.
To him, he was seeing something beautiful, but to me, I was looking at the most valuable treasure in the world. It was the most bittersweet thing I had ever actually seen, but I couldn't peel my eyes away from how stunning he actually looked.
I wasn't the only one who noticed Kol, but until I saw Elena swiftly crossing the room towards him, it didn't for one second occur to me that there was something very wrong here.
I hadn't gotten the chance to tell them. Amidst all the sickness and everything that had happened today with the pregnancy, I hadn't actually thought about telling them.
When Elena stood face-to-face with him, she didn't care about where she was or the people around them. She reached her hand back and slapped him, hard. It got the attention of many amongst the crowd, including some of his siblings who hadn't been paying attention.
Elijah and Klaus both wore expressions that painted their confusion well, whereas Rebekah's eyes spoke a threat of death towards my sister. Kol, however, just stood there, eyes wide while he looked from my sister and over to me.
This wasn't the time or the place. This wasn't how I wanted to tell them the truth, so all I could do was desperately try and plead with him, to convey the question that I couldn't ask. Can you please just play along for now?
Have you ever seen a heart break? Ever seen the ripple effect that starts the actual moment that someone's heart shatters?
I did, in that moment. It was a vivid picture painted across the marble-like irises of his eyes, all warmth and love gone as raw pain took hold. All of the promises that I had made to him, the promise of telling everyone the truth so this very thing didn't happen, were empty. I hadn't done that, and I wasn't allowing him to do that either, not right now.
What would Stefan and Klaus do if they heard the truth anyways?
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Elena hissed, tearing Kol's broken gaze from me so he could look to my sister.
He sighed and held both of his hands up. "Please, Elena. You're making a scene."
"I'm about to make a lot more," she threatened, and she took a single step towards him.
"Don't ruin my mother's ball," he disagreed. "She is really looking forward to the evening. She fancies such things."
From where I stood, a few feet behind her, I could see Elena's jaw lock as the rest of her body tensed as well. "Go to hell."
"I'm sure I will," he murmured, but the words came out more pained than I think he intended. I wasn't sure if it was because I had just broken his heart or if the very idea of being in hell scared him, now that he no longer believed himself to be completely above everyone. He still had an ego, but that was just Kol Mikaelson.
"Why would you do this?" she demanded. "What could you have possibly gained from it?"
"Just doing what was asked of me."
That was a kick right to the gut, though I was glad for once that it wasn't actually a kick to the gut. It probably would've felt better than the pain and guilt churning inside of me, but with the child inside of me, it was dangerous.
Though I deserved to feel pain for what I had done, a kick in the stomach wasn't the way to go.
"Klaus didn't know you were there," she snapped. "How could you just be doing what was asked of you? Who put you up to this?"
People around them were beginning to stare, and it was only a matter of time before things got far too out of hand. I quickly found myself closing the distance between Elena and me, before Kol got a chance to come up with some sort of answer.
I grabbed onto Elena's arm and gave her the slightest pull. "Elena, please. Let's not do this."
The pain was brighter as I stood closer, and it felt as if his stare was physically breaking my own heart. What had I just done to him? Would he even trust me anymore? He was hesitant to trust anyone, and like his siblings, I had betrayed that trust.
Oh God. I hadn't even thought about it like that, but that was exactly what I had just done. I had plunged a metaphorical dagger into his heart.
The three of us were no longer standing alone, more than just Damon and Stefan approaching from behind us. Damon looked ready to kill, though I don't imagine Stefan understood any of this going on. We had been careful not to mention that I had a boyfriend at all, and while he might've figured it out, he hadn't learned that he was a vampire, or even seen who he was.
Klaus and Elijah stepped up as well, standing behind Kol with their mixed confusion and anger taking dominance over their expressions, twisting the faces that had once been charming and turning them into something a bit terrifying, at least in the situation we were currently in.
"How might you know my brother, Elena?" was the first thing out of anyone's mouth, and Klaus was the one to ask the question.
Elijah's eyebrows remained woven together, his eyes moving away from everyone and over to his brother. "Where were you all this time, Kol?"
"Elijah, please," Kol said, and he tore his gaze away from me to look at his brother, emptying it of all emotion that he could. "This is not the place."
"He's right, Niklaus," Elijah said, after being reminded of the world around us. "We can all discuss this some other time, without the present company."
"You stay away from us," Elena warned, but she took a step back from the crowd, reaching over to grab onto my arm so she could start to pull me away from the Original brothers.
Klaus wasn't so quick to let go of the moment, however, and his eyes narrowed, focusing in on me. "Darcy, love, was he the one killing my hybrids?"
"No."
It was the best I could do. My attention was focused on remaining calm, on keeping my expression completely solemn, and trying to keep my heartrate even took more focus.
It wasn't the response Klaus expected, so maybe I had been successful. His eyebrows rose up, and Kol took the moment to look back at me, his own eyes widening a bit in surprise.
Had I really done it?
Damon's large hand wrapped around my other arm, the one Elena didn't have a hold of, and the two pulled me away from the Original three. They were moving quickly, ignoring the stares of the people around us. It was a bit uncomfortable, but the discomfort was short lived. When we made it into a separate room from the Mikaelson siblings, they let go of my arm.
Elena took a few steps away from me, rubbing her hand over her forehead while her jaw remained locked. "I want him dead."
"We'll work on that," Damon assured her. "I'll talk to the Original witch myself."
"No!"
My protests had fallen on deaf ears, as Elena was focused on watching Damon. The rage that rippled across his own locked jaw, burned through his usually bright eyes, would've scared me had I not known that he couldn't do anything to hurt Kol.
He wanted to help Esther kill him, though, and I couldn't let them do that. Somehow, I had to leave town tonight and also ensure my friends didn't murder Kol in my absence.
This had become a huge mess, a mess I created for myself. Had I just told them, their anger would've been appropriately directed at me. They wouldn't want to kill me, so all they would feel is anger, not the murderous rage.
How could I make sure that they didn't kill him while I was away? If I told them the truth now, at the ball, Stefan might kill me for interfering with his plans. Right now, dying or becoming a vampire was impossible, something that couldn't happen for a least nine more months.
I didn't know how far along I was, or how long this baby would have to develop inside of me, but I knew that it would be nine months, at most, before I could die safely, without taking another life with me.
After the commotion that had occurred, Elijah found a way to distract everyone by calling everyone into the ballroom for a dance to commemorate the evening. I was in no mood to dance, but Stefan didn't really give me much choice. Damon and Elena went out as partners, and he needed to keep an eye on things.
Dancing with him was stiff and awkward, and his eyes were studying me almost the entire time. It was as if he knew the truth, could read it from my face, but he wasn't reacting to it yet, only waiting for some sort of confirmation.
I had never been more relieved to have a change in partners, but the most relief came from who my partner changed to: Kol.
He held onto me much differently than Stefan had, though his eyes still told a tragic story of heartbreak. The way he delicately glided me across the dance floor, spinning me at all the right times, it was easy to get lost in the moment.
"Come outside with me."
The people around us were still dancing away, with no end to the dance in sight. The music was still moving seamlessly, not slowly moving towards an end, so I imagined that there was still more time the dance was supposed to carry on.
He didn't care, however, and I knew this was it, my now or never chance to tell him the truth and get away.
But how would I make sure he didn't die while I was gone?
I allowed him to pull me off the dance floor, past all the people who weren't even paying attention and through the elaborate house. Since I had practically grown up going to the Lockwood mansion for parties often, I was used to nice mansions, but this was something out of an art museum. This was the work of a man who had been alive for a millennium.
We stepped out the back of the house, away from the crowd inside and all the people that might be listening in. As we stepped onto the marbled porch, I looked out in front of me to see lines and lines of cars, but lights decorated the elaborate railings along the back of the porch. Everything had been given a beautiful touch, as if it actually needed it to make the night magical.
It would've been easy to get lost in our surroundings, but even Kol knew that we didn't have time for that. Whatever time we had alone together was limited, as it had always been. From the beginning, we knew we were loving on borrowed time and that it would one day come to an end.
I just had no idea it would be this way.
"You said you were going to tell her."
My eyes fell, towards the railing beneath my fingertips that was cold to the touch. The air around us was cold, and I regretted giving up my jacket when we first came inside. "I know. I didn't get a chance."
He actually scoffed, turning his body towards me so I would be forced to look back at him, to face the consequences of what I had done—or hadn't done, in this case. "Didn't get a chance? You've had three days."
"You have every right in the world to be mad at me, and I am so sorry, but please, Kol," I whispered, and I reached a hand out to grab onto his, to help me hold onto his gaze to show him the depths of my heart, the emotions swirling around inside of me so fast that they were hard to keep up with. I couldn't tell if it was because I was pregnant or because of everything going on that I had to get away from. "There's something I have to tell you, something I have to do."
Watching the anger fall from his eyes, seeing as it morphed into the fear I must've been showing, felt good, in a way that it probably shouldn't have. It shouldn't have made me happy to see his feelings mold into mine the way that they were, but his genuine concern for my well-being, the concern that led him to feel the fear and desperation that I was, did make me feel good. Above all else, it made me feel loved, and I didn't care how selfish that was.
"Darcy Gilbert, before you say anything, please understand that I love you," he said, and he let go of my hand so that he could grab onto my face. He got a full view of the tears that formed in my eyes, the smile that I tried to hold back unsuccessfully. "Whatever my mother has told you, whatever she's made you believe, please believe that."
My eyelashes fluttered wildly before my eyes, my head trying to fully comprehend what he was admitting out-loud to me for the first time. "W-What?"
"I love you," he said again, and a small smile curled onto those lips, caressing the words with a gentle touch that made my heart soar inside of my chest. "If it wasn't obvious enough, I'll make sure to say it clear enough for you. Please don't leave me. Life was just starting to get good."
Tears were forming in my eyes faster than I was prepared for, but by the time he was finished speaking, they actually obscured my vision. "I love you, Kol Mikaelson. You have no idea how much I love you."
He let out a breath of a laugh. "I think I might."
I attempted to wipe the tears away, keeping in mind the eye makeup on my face so I didn't make this moment look bad in the future. "I-I don't know what's happening right now, but Damon and Elena are going to talk to your mom. Whatever she does, you can't go along with it. I don't know if-if she's gonna poison you, or what she might come up with, but if she wants you to do something, don't."
"Let's go somewhere," he said, without warning. The words fell out of his mouth the second my words ended.
My lungs felt as if they were caving in, and I struggled to swallow the lump that formed in my throat at the very suggestion of the two of us running away together, again. "I am."
"What?"
The letter I had written to Kol, the best explanation I could give to him about what was going on, was tucked away on the side of my bra. It had been uncomfortable at first, but I had gotten used to it, so much that I almost forgot that it was there.
I put it into his hands, the folded up square that I had poured my heart out on before getting ready for the ball tonight, and pressed my lips against his. I wanted to draw the kiss out, to make it something he would feel for days to come, but leaving was hard enough as it was. A kiss like that was sure to make it harder, maybe even impossible.
The second I pulled away, his arm reached out to grab onto mine, but I didn't actually let him stop me from stepping away from him, just a single step to get myself out of his grasps.
"You have to let me go, Kol," I whispered, and the tears forming in my eyes again burned mixed with the cold air around us.
His own eyes looked clouded, maybe even with tears, but I was struggling to see through my own again. "I will never let you go. Don't you get it?"
I let out an empty breath, the cloud that followed blowing back to touch my skin. "Haven't you heard? If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it's yours."
"Whoever said that is stupid," he said. "If you love something, why would you ever let it go?"
"Because it needs you to."
The dam that had been holding my tears back broke, and they stung against my cold cheeks. Right now, I didn't even care. Crying was the only way I was gonna make it through this. If I tried to hold it back, I would've probably exploded at this point.
Releasing the tears made it possible to confirm the tears in his own, the tears he was trying with all of his might to hold back.
He shook his head, maybe as an attempt to stop what was happening or stop the tears. "Please, Darcy. I'm not ready to say goodbye to you."
My lungs began to shake, the smallest of smiles dancing onto my lips. "Then we won't say goodbye."
"Whatever is going on, we'll figure it out," he insisted, though his head was still shaking. "We'll get through it, together."
"We can't, not right now," I disagreed. "I swear to you, Kol Mikaelson. I'll come back, and I'll fix everything. First, I have to do something on my own."
"What could you possibly have to do on your own?" he asked. "Don't you get it? I can't handle losing you, and do you understand how horrible that makes me feel? Because I met you a month ago. A month. I've been alive for a thousand years, and the best days across the stretch of that time don't even compare to one of the days I've spent with you."
"What's going on out here?"
The voice that cut through our conversation, ending it before I could get a chance to say something in response to the beautiful confession he had just poured out onto me, was a kind one, not the voice of my sister or Damon. It was the polite voice of Elijah, and my heart actually fluttered in relief.
"Everything is fine, Elijah," Kol said, tearing his gaze away from me so that he could find his brother. "We were just about to head back inside."
"Actually, I was just leaving," I whispered.
Kol reached out a hand to grab onto me again, but I took another step away from him. Of course he could've physically stopped me; he could've held onto me so tightly that I could never get away, but Kol wasn't about that kind of thing.
"It was lovely to see you tonight, Darcy," Elijah said, taking a few steps towards us so he could put himself between Kol and me. He saw that Kol didn't want me to go, and he was going to help me out, even if he didn't know what was going on. "We should talk sometime tomorrow."
"Sure." My eyes stayed on Kol, and I saw the way his entire expression broke again, as if the already broken pieces of his heart were being shattered into even smaller pieces in front of me.
This was the only chance I saw at getting away, so I didn't stick around any longer. Heading back towards the door we came out of, I hurried my way back through the house and to the entrance. I had to find my jacket, but once I did, I was practically home free.
The valet man's eyebrows rose. "Leaving so soon?"
I nodded and folded my arms over my chest. "Yes. I, um, lost my ticket, though. I was in the black Buick?"
"We're not allowed to give out keys without the ticket," he said, and he gave me an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry. We were given strict orders."
"It's right here."
My body jolted at the sound of Stefan Salvatore behind me, and though it had scared me, I had never felt more relief for a magic solution.
He stepped up next to me to hand the man the ticket, and the man nodded curtly. Nothing more was said while the man searched for the matching key, not until he was off to actually get the car.
Stefan took a deep breath. "You opened the coffins. You knew who they all were."
My eyes closed, and I attempted to steady my own breaths. "Yes."
"You let them out."
"Yes." At this point, there was no point in attempting to lie. The truth was bound to come out sooner or later, and really, it was good to finally say it out-loud.
The sound of his hand rubbing across the skin of his face pulled my eyes back open, to find a small smile hanging on his lips. "Well, it worked out okay, so I guess I'll leave you alone and let his death ruin you enough. If you'll excuse me, I have to get inside to make sure my brother doesn't ruin this."
That was all he said before turning away from me and heading back inside, back towards whatever chaos was probably waiting within the walls. My body began to tremble, maybe a mixture of the fear and cold around me, and the only thing I could think to do was pull my phone out of my pocket, to try and warn Kol somehow.
I don't know what's going on in there, but something dangerous is happening. Get out of there if you have to. Please.
A/N: The lyrics are from the song Flicker by Niall Horan, which is where this story got its name.
Let me know what you guys think! Only a few more chapters until the end of this story. I've got through the third chapter of the second part, however. :)
Originally, when I wrote this chapter up, Kol told Darcy that he loved her, but the conversation didn't give her a chance to do the same, but I was too heartbroken by the idea that she left without telling him, so I added it in.
Read, review, and enjoy. :)
P.S. I know that Stefan isn't a mean guy, but this is in the middle of his revenge mode, where he pretended to not care about anything or anyone, so it was fitting that part of his character.