AN: Fear the fever is amazing, I too discovered it watching the Reylo video on Youtube : )
Ren was shivering, his mind in shock as he sat by the fire, staring intently at the flames, wishing they would consume him and free him from the striking pain. He'd disavowed his feelings long enough, at first dismissing them as basic human urges, then as a fascination for her power and later as a dark need to possess her. Now, he was simply suffocating.
She was gone. She had voiced her opinion pretty clearly: he was unredeemable in her eyes. His throat constricted painfully and his jaw clenched. He waited for a rage that never came, his heart hollow and raw. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe, the world a blur in front of his eyes. Time passed, he didn't know how much nor cared, the ominous truth plaguing his every thought.
She will never be mine.
Rey was walking at a deliberately slow pace, taking the long way back to camp, careful not to trip in the dark forest. She still needed time to make sense of what happened, to sort out the swirl of contradicting feelings. She wasn't sure which emotion to nurture and which to smother. She bit her lips, trying to figure out what she should do, what she should say, all the while imagining what he was doing.
Suddenly, a wave of undiluted agony rolled unto her, starting in the pit of her stomach and roaring upwards. Her chest ached, her head pounded and she couldn't deny the aching misery washing over her. She fell to her knees, the pain acute and visceral, and gasped trying to identify the source.
It was him.
She could almost see him behind her eyelids, sitting by the fire, unravelled by self-disgust and regret, the poignant and deranged torment leaving a sour taste in her mouth. The connection had never been so open and raw before. It was as if he'd stopped guarding the door to the castle of his mind, now facing inwards; ready to burn it all down.
The numbing pain was hard to swim against, but she tried anyway, concentrating hard on the Force.
He was stuck in a mental loop, replaying their kiss, and her accusing tirade.
Her stomach cramped and bile rose in her mouth when she realized she had reflected back to him every single bit of the monster and none of the man, even though she knew it was inaccurate. She'd crushed his hope that he could ever rise above the darkness. She was choked under the weight of his turmoil, comprehending how much that hope meant to him. She could see, even if he didn't want to admit it, that he desperately wanted to let the anger go, and considered her his way —the only way— back to light.
It was like pulling on a thread, the more she pushed her way in; the quicker his mind was coming apart. The sheer force of his undisclosed desire for her made her tremble. How he could have hidden it for so long was beyond her comprehension. She could see herself, in his mind. His whole being ached for her, and he had no control over its demands anymore. She was engraved on his heart, filling his guts, floating in his chest, wrapped around his brain and dancing in his blood. She had an immense power over him. He hated it but craved it all the same.
She could feel his shame, his humiliation; his fear of losing her. He was thinking that he would rather die than see the judging hatred in her eyes again.
She should have been scared at the nature and intensity of his feelings for her. Should being the operative word.
Something in her snapped. She was sick of acting the way she was supposed to instead of how she wanted to. Tired of fighting against her own heart.
Ren sensed her running in his direction long before he saw her. He stood up, instinctively turning to where she would appear.
The air started buzzing around him. She erupted from around a tree, graciously flying over the obstacles, a wild determination illuminating her lovely face.
He looked so dejected, so broken, her heart bled at the thought that she was responsible for it.
The Force whispered to him again, foreboding what she was going to do and he almost didn't dare to trust it.
When she jumped unto him, her legs flying around his waist to hold herself up to his level, her arms desperately locking around his neck like a vise, his arms were ready for her, grasping the back of her thighs to steady her. Their lips crashed together in wild abandon, both of them surrendering to months of confliction, the all-consuming gravitational pull bending them to its will.
She opened her mouth to him, their tongues sliding against one another and a moan of pleasure rose from them both. He kissed her harder at the sound, claiming her. She mewled, egging him on.
Her body was both soft and hard against him. His hands cradled her face, pushing her back a little. Their eyes met; his were the rich dark shade of a storm brewing, and hers were sparkling with lust.
You said I disgust you, he reminded her, utterly confused.
I lied, she admitted before resuming her assault on his mouth. He wanted to smile but he was too busy submitting to her hungry kiss.
Resisting the magnetic tow had proved immensely difficult, unleashing it felt like a liberation. As long as they were falling, might as well fall hard. They lost themselves in the taste of each other until their lips were raw.
She leaned down and nibbled his neck eagerly. He growled at the sensation, sending shivers down her spine. He grabbed the nape of her neck, pulling her back to his mouth as he fought for control. She gripped his hair, letting her hand sink in the dark locks, kissing him with fervor. It felt deliciously sinful, she'd wondered what his hair would feel like between her fingers.
His touches grew wilder, the kisses not quenching his thirst for her.
Every longing brush, every husky pant, every lustful bite was echoing in her belly, a molten heat beginning to coil deep inside her. She squeezed her thighs around his waist, yearning for more.
His hand caressed her side on its way back down to her hips. Grabbing her waist, he pressed her curves hard against him, the pressure in his groin maddening and they both hissed at the friction. He was shivering with want, a blazing lust boiling his blood. He needed to bury himself deep into her, become one with her and make her scream in pleasure. Now. He grabbed her bottoms and discarded it unceremoniously, tearing the fabric from her body. His hands came to cup her bare ass, her tender skin heavenly against his rough hands, but he felt her stiffen against him. He met her eyes again, they were hooded with fear.
You don't want to? Just tell me to stop. He prayed she wasn't afraid he would continue without her assent. His heart constricted at the thought and he was about to put her down on the ground when she rotated her hips so she was pressing hard into him again.
No, I want to I just… Her cheeks reddened. She'd been the only one taking care of her sexual urges all these years, and she'd never cared for her lack of experience, until now.
He couldn't remember seeing her blush before and comprehension warmed his heart. You've never done this before.
She shook her head no, biting her bottom lip.
His touch immediately softened, the urgency giving way to tenderness. He kissed her softly, languidly, making her relax against him. She moaned into his mouth, each deliberate stroke of his tongue melting her. Balancing her on his left arm, he raised his right hand and used his powers to grab his discarded black cape, laying it on the ground next to the fire. He walked to it slowly, kissing her neck thoroughly, before lowering her down on it. She was a vision beneath him, wanton and eager, and he promised himself to make it perfect for her.
Have you ever done this before? She couldn't help but ask, even if she anticipated she wouldn't like the answer.
I'm not a virgin, he started telepathically. He could feel her trying to stifle her jealousy. "But I've never done this before," he soothed her, his knuckles caressing her cheek, hoping she could understand how different she was to him than any other woman before her. How significant.
She nodded in understanding. He'd been desperate to teach her something and now she was going to let him. She wasn't giving up, just giving in; to him, to her passions. Nothing in the galaxy mattered besides the two of them anyway.
She grabbed his shirt and pushed it over his head, letting her hands explore his body. He's so tall, she thought, running her hands over his chest to his shoulders. She was tiny beneath him, but she felt mighty, low husky groans escaping his mouth as she roamed his skin.
He let her set the rhythm as they undressed each other slowly, her hand travelling over every line and every scar, like she wanted to memorize him. He was trembling under her tentative touch, still staggering that she wanted to do this with him. He'd denied his own impulses for so long, terrified to fade away, to lose himself inside their bond. He'd never allowed himself to fantasize that she could ever want him too, not until that kiss had set his world ablaze.
When she laid completely bare beneath him, he couldn't believe how beautiful, how perfect she was. He needed to feel, to taste every inch of her skin. He started at the hollow of her neck, leaving a trail of hot kisses down to her chest. His mouth greedily teased her breast, circling it for the longest time. She moaned when he finally took her pebbled nipple into his mouth and sucked lightly, the feeling so foreign and enticing. She was dripping wet, the ache in her belly tightening her insides, her sensitive flesh screaming for attention. He moved down to her stomach, dipping his tongue in her navel on his way to where she needed him the most while deep, uneven breaths rocked her body.
When he got to her hip bone, his hand travelled up the inside of her leg to her thighs, spreading them apart. His eyebrows furrowed as he spotted her scar, a thin white line inside her left thigh. He remembered how he felt stitching it and kissed it desperately, wishing he could erase it and the evil it represented. The unease gnawing his heart dissipated as she whimpered at the feeling of his tongue rasping her inner thigh. He was so close to her center now, her scent was intoxicating, and he leaned in to lick her center. He expected her to be surprised, but she'd sensed what he intended to do and she was hot and wet in anticipation. He groaned as her taste hit him, and he licked her again, harder. She cried out in approval, the pleasure sharp and heady. He buried a finger inside of her, and she jerked against him. She was so tight, he would need to stretch her slowly. His tongue moved against her clit, her moans growing louder with each stroke. He used their link to find out exactly how much pressure she liked, teasing her by easing down when she was close, wanting her to come slowly on his mouth. A second finger joined the first, stroking her from the inside. She writhed underneath him, begging for more friction, but he held her hips firmly in place, determined to bring her as high as he could. Her pleasure built steadily, radiating from her clitoris until she screamed as she fell over the edge, coming hard against him. She saw stars, the world blurring before her as her entire body tingled in blissful rapture.
He had to bite the inside of his mouth hard not to come with her, their connection allowing him to share every second of the blinding orgasm ripping through her.
She slowly drifted back down to earth, still dazed by the force of her orgasm, tethered to reality only by the weight of his body towering above hers and the throbbing between her legs.
He was panting heavily now, his shaft painfully hard. She was mesmerizing, the light of the fire dancing on her body, a perfect blend of lights and shadows decorating her skin as his hand traveled from her hips to her breast. She cried out again as his large hand palmed her sensitive flesh, her face still flustered by her release, her body pliant and ready. He positioned himself at her entrance, his cock begging for her warmth.
In the last nine years, he had never felt less like Kylo Ren. He wasn't fooling himself thinking he was corrupting her or getting her out of his system. It was pretty clear who was changing here, who was pulled into whose gravity; who was weak. That word again, always hunting him. He started shaking, knowing what it meant. If this happened, he would be consumed by her completely.
She sensed his mood swing and met his gaze.
I don't know who I am anymore, he admitted reluctantly.
Hold on to me, she whispered soothingly. She wouldn't let him withdraw, not now, not when she'd abandoned herself like that to him. It was his turn to yield.
I— I don't know if I can. His gaze fell, breaking away from hers.
She placed her hands on his neck, pulling gently his face back towards her. She gazed deep into his eyes once more before asking: What's your real name?
She held her breath, waiting for his reaction as a war was waged inside of his mind.
Ben.
She smiled up radiantly at him at his admission. She'd won. I want you, Ben.
God, Rey.
She raised her hips towards him, offering herself to him completely and he finally surrendered. He pushed into her, his cock singing as they melted into each other. He felt her barrier break and tried to take the sharp pain from her, barely registering against the euphoria of being inside of her.
She expected it to hurt much more but it only stung for a second, as if he'd swallowed her pain. The bond was so strong now, she didn't know where her thoughts and feelings stopped and his began. He filled her completely, her walls closing around him like he was made for her. They moved together, his cock retreating almost completely each time only to sink deeper the next. He was lost to everything but her, the steady rhythm driving him mad, his forsaken name falling of her lips like a prayer.
Another orgasm was building in her, the sharp need threatening to ravage her. Their breathings were rasped and irregular, like they'd forgotten how to suck in air properly. Harder, she begged, clawing at his back, and he happily obliged. When her drenched folds started to pulse around him, he spilt himself deep inside of her, liquid ecstasy coursing through them both as they came together.
He crashed down next to her on the black linen and focused on slowing his heartbeat, feeling ethereal.
The lust finally satiated, she could think clearly again. She was expecting to feel embarrassed at what just happened, considering with whom it had happened. After all, she had succumbed to her primal appetite instead of her rational mind, having sex with the enemy. Not the enemy, she chastised herself, Ben. She'd let herself be seduced but he'd surrendered to her. It was a crushing defeat and a blinding victory wrapped into very hot, passionate sex, and she couldn't bring herself to regret it.
She blanketed him with her body, grinning at him, resting her head over his heart for a while.
He traced random patterns on her back, wishing time would freeze them both in this fucking perfect moment, the first since his birth where he felt truly at peace. He knew it couldn't last, because peace was a lie, but what an enchanting illusion of peace this was.
You're so beautiful.
Am I? She said, her hair falling in disarray around her face as she sat on his chest, looking down at him.
Yes, he repeated as he revelled at the sight of her naked, straddling his chest. He grabbed the side of her face, pulling her down for a voluptuous kiss. Their mouths moved slowly, tongues exploring, getting accustomed to each other in a more gentle fashion.
After a few minutes, she simmered down his body, peppering his chest with kisses.
Why did you run?
She paused. I told you I was lying…
No not that, before, near the water, he asked, still not sure what sparked all of this.
Oh. I was wishing you would teach me to swim.
He could tell she wasn't saying the whole truth. Just swim?
Maybe not, she admitted, a smile tugging at the corner of her lips.
He kissed her hard at her response, insanely aroused at the thought of her lusting over him. She grinned wickedly when she felt his cock hardening against her thigh.
Your love is my turning page
Where only the sweetest words remain
Every kiss is a cursive line
Every touch is a redefining phrase
I surrender who I've been for who you are
For nothing makes me stronger than your fragile heart
If I had only felt how it feels to be yours
Well I would have known
What I've been living for all along
What I've been living for
Turning Page – Sleeping at last
This is only my second M rated sex scene ever written and I am freaking out. I worked on it for so long (almost since chapter 1). Please review! Elmo13
Bad news (for you guys :P) I'm going to Hawaii for the first time ever on Thursday, and I will probably not update until my return.