Hi guys. I know it's been a while, but I've been writing an actual novel, so it's been hard to navigate two worlds at once. I hope I can finish this fic before the next movie, and I really hope we'll get a lot of Rey and Kylo Ren in The Last Jedi.
She was shutting him out. He'd feared this, he knew it was bound to happen. He deserved no better and festered in his bitter thoughts for the better part of the day. He was a traitor to both camps, stuck in the space in between, belonging nowhere. Snoke wouldn't rest until he was dead, and the Resistance would probably execute him too. Hi only real option was to flee. I should have stayed on that moon. There's nowhere to hide now, and she'll hate me forever for abandoning her.
Ben was sulking in the corner of the engine room for hours while Rey talked to Finn and Poe, wanting to know every detail of the destruction of Starkiller Base. She had awful memories of that place and was unapologetically gleeful about its destruction. She laughed and joked around with the two Resistance fighters, grateful for the distraction.
Hours passed, and Poe started yawning profusely. Finn explained they hadn't slept at all the night before. Rey insisted they get some sleep, knowing they still had hours to wait before reaching D'Qar. Both men agreed and disappeared into their respective quarters. After a quick trip to the refresher she was surprised not to find Ben sitting in the same spot as he had all day. She had been looking forward to a moment alone with him.
She tugged on the link and frowned, her senses tingling with anxiousness. The energy rolling off him was all wrong, a taste of bitterness lacing it, and she hurried to the bridge.
He was standing in front of the console, his back to her, as the deep black void of space framed him.
"Not trusting me with the ship?" He barked at her and her eyes widened at the unmerited aggression in his voice. The shroud of darkness hovering around him casted a heavy shadow over the bond. A darkness she hadn't felt in quite a while. Her pulse quickened, and her first instinct was to rebel against his anger, but she forced herself to stay calm.
What? What's up with you? Why were you so sullen all day? She walked to him. She needed to see his face, look into his eyes.
"I'm sorry if I don't fit in well with Resistance fighters," he said, refusing to meet her gaze as she planted herself next to him. She could feel him resisting the tether, speaking aloud to distance himself. She reached gently for his shoulder, but he recoiled from her touch.
Rey's patience turned into annoyance. No, don't do this. I won't let you.
He acted as if she was talking crazy when he answered, "Do what?"
She grabbed his arms, her fingers grasping him as she angled his body towards her. His gaze flew to her hand, and his breath caught in his throat.
Look at me, she insisted.
He finally met her stare. His eyes were guarded and distant instead of the flurry of raw emotions they usually were. She concentrated hard, directing every ounce of power she had at this new wall. Let me in, she growled.
She knew she was being hypocritical, she'd done the same to him earlier, but she wasn't the one with homicidal tendencies. They stood in silence for agonizing seconds as they defied each other again, the familiar drumming of their minds fighting one another echoing at their temples. Their chest heaved as he resisted her, unwilling to let go of his defenses. They seemed to be at an impasse when his sight travelled down to her lips for the most fleeting moment before he held her gaze again. A small smirk appeared on her face. She'd won.
Poe got up to use the refresher when he heard some moving around on the bridge and a sharp cry. His spine tensed in alarm, thinking maybe something had happened while he was asleep, but as he walked closer to the source of the noise, the half hushed moans and pants were self-explanatory. Curiosity got the better of him, and he couldn't resist stealing a glance.
Rey was sitting on the console, Ben was half naked, standing between her legs, his hand grasping her sides. They were kissing, locked in a passionate embrace.
Poe wasn't surprised, not really.
He'd sort of sensed her embarrassment when she'd explained her relationship to the tall mysterious man she'd met on Starkiller base.
Poe suspected Finn had more than friendly feelings for the lost girl he'd talked about so much, and knew he would probably be crushed to learn she was into someone else. He stared at the scene for a couple of seconds, the impression that he had forgotten something important nagging at his brain again.
He finally turned away, thinking this was none of his business, and rejoined his quarter, but not before Rey felt him.
She froze in Ben's arms, and her temper flared. Her eyes sharpened into an accusatory scowl as she sensed her lover had been aware of Poe's presence way before she had. She planted her hands firmly on his chest and pushed him away, forcing him to take a step back.
He glowered back at her, the anger still hot in his blood. He had to supress the urge to grab her and claim her mouth again.
You knew he was watching, you wanted him to see, she said, almost daring him to deny it.
Ben's tone was unapologetic, a dangerous edge licking his words as he answered, you are ashamed of me.
Rey sobered up as the coldness crept back into his heart. She could almost see his resentment and anguish reforming the shield around his mind.
No, she insisted, knowing despite her confusion that it wasn't true.
What then? He asked, not convinced.
The reason for her sudden embarrassment eluded her. I don't know, I—
She didn't want to care about what Finn and Poe thought, but the nagging voice in her head reminded her that she'd created a distance between them by not admitting to their relationship. She'd distanced herself from him all day as if he was just a chance encounter, or a stranger she'd been stuck with.
You're ashamed of yourself, he realized, able to taste the emotion prickling the tether. Will you disown me, if they figure out who I am? His jaw tightened in anger as he caught a glimpse of her thoughts.
The disoriented mass of emotions bouncing between them suddenly came to a standstill.
No, never. Rey grabbed a fist of his hair and forcing him down for a demanding kiss. No, she would never do that. If he was discovered, she would try to reason with Finn. She trusted him implicitly to be on her side on this, given where he came from. If that wasn't enough, they'd have to run away. She halted the kiss, the realization hitting her hard.
She would choose him over her friends if I came to it. In a heartbeat. His anger evaporated when the blazing honesty of her statement pulsed over the bond.
He pushed her flush against him, his heart hammering at the wave of loyalty engulfing him.
He was selfish, abrupt, and unstable with a dangerous propensity for self-sabotage, but she still wanted him. He couldn't figure out why. He grabbed her tighter, hoping to erase himself and drown in her.
They kissed, and Rey tugged roughly at his dark waves, his fingers burying in her sides hard enough to leave a mark. He grabbed one side of her neck with his large hand and kissed the other side without mercy. She moaned as he licked and bit her soft skin.
He felt the maddening urge to mark her, brand her as his, and leave no doubt in anyone's mind that she belonged to him.
He wanted everyone, and especially FN-2187, to see.
Heat pooled between her legs as his hard length pressed against her hip bone, raw need coursing through her veins. She pushed her hips into him, grinding against his erection, and he hissed out loud.
Careful Rey.
She held his intent gaze and raked against him again. He didn't need the bond to interpret the fire burning deep in her eyes.
A minute ago you were embarrassed that he saw us kiss and now you want to have sex?
I can be pretty quiet, I'm sure.
Is that a bet? He asked with a wolfish grin before he swung her around, her back to him.
She wondered what the hell he was doing when he pushed her closer to the wall, trapping her with his body.
He detached her sash and let it fall to the ground before his palms seeped beneath the fabric of her pants to lower them, caressing her ass in the process. The fabric pooled around her knees, and she shimmered out of it as she heard him fumbled with his own sash. Yes, she thought, dripping with desire. The anticipation boiled her blood.
She arched her back as she grabbed her hips and pulled her ass towards him, impatient to bury himself inside of her again. She put both hands on the wall in front of her for balance, excited to try this new angle.
He entered her in one swift motion, and she bit her lips hard not to cry out. He waited a second to let her adjust to his size before he started to move inside her.
Her walls pulsed around him at every thrust.
His hand snaked around her waist to find her opening, and he pressed a finger against her sensitive bud, making her jerk against him.
She whimpered, desperate for release. Please.
Tell me what you want.
Fuck me harder.
My girl likes it rough.
He felt her pleasure when he hit the right spot, and allowed himself to take her hard and fast.
They came apart together as a quick, scorching pleasure ripped through them both.
As the haze of his orgasm lifted, he placed a soft kiss on the nape of her neck and nuzzled her hair.
She was batting her eyelashes not to cry.
God, had he been too rough?
She turned to face him. Why did you just fuck me like it was the last time? I heard it, you were thinking it might be our last time.
I told you. I have no place with your friends Rey, with the Resistance. I fought against them for years.
And I said you're wrong. She placed a slow, open mouthed kiss on his lips, trying to make him understand. You know we have more power together than apart. We could really help people.
Ben shook his head. I can't help anybody. Hell, I couldn't even help myself. I'm not going to sit on my hands while your friends bring us to the Resistance's base Rey. I just can't.
The ship's alarm tore through the silence, and they barely had enough time to get dressed before Finn and Poe erupted on the bridge.
Rey looked at the computer, cursing the timing.
"We have company," she declared.
There'll be times
When my crimes
Will seem almost unforgivable
I give in to sin
Because you have to make this life livable
But when you think I've had enough
From your sea of love
I'll take more than another river full
Yes, and I'll make it all worthwhile
I'll make your heart smile
Strangelove
Strange highs and strange lows
Strangelove
That's how my love goes
Strangelove
Will you give it to me?
Will you take the pain
I will give to you?
Again and again
And will you return it?
Strangelove – Depeche Mode
I hope you liked this chapter.
Till next time.
Elmo13