A/N - Oh my goodness! I'm just overwhelmed by the response! So, here's a super long chapter, dedicated to all of you who were kind enough to leave me a review. I wasn't anticipating crossing 100 anytime soon...you guys are awesome!
I have some news though - I'm on vacay again next week, for 2 weeks...it'll give me lots of writing time, but unfortunately, my wifi may be spotty. I'll certainly try my best to post at least twice in that time...we shall see.
In the meantime, you know what to do - review!
It felt good to run alongside Leah. Her speed propelled Jacob to push himself harder than he'd usually go than if he were on his own. The Alpha within him enjoyed the challenge in keeping up with her.
Colours flew past them as they raced back towards La Push. Although there were no distinct markers to show the boundary of the reservation, the wolf internally recognized it the moment they crossed onto their land. As they had neared La Push, Embry and Jared's consciousness joined with their own.
For a moment, Jacob was confused, assuming that it were Sam and Seth who were to be on patrol.
'They went to check on something with Sue at Charlie's,' Embry explained. 'Don't worry, Leah. It's all good though. Sam's come back and he told Seth to stay in Forks for now. They're going to be taking our shifts tomorrow.'
Leah instantly proded them for information on exactly what was going on with her Mom. Neither Embry or Jared had an answer for her. Sam's mind had been locked tight, only giving them very little information but enough to assure them that Sue was all right before he phased out once again.
Leah wasn't satisfied with that.
Worried, she raced ahead, intending to call her Mom the moment that she got back. Jacob ran after her and came to a stop when they were within 100 yards of the treeline across the road from his home. He quickly phased and walked up to where Leah had disappeared to, giving her privacy to get dressed before walking the final dozen or so yards to the treeline.
While they walked through the brush, Jacob tried to assure her that everything was fine and that she was overreacting. He even went as far as telling her that as soon as she finished calling Sue, they'd order pizza. As tired as Jacob was from running a midnight patrol shift, his hunger always outweighed his need for sleep.
Leah agreed with him, finding that she too, was hungry.
But the moment they broke through the trees, all their plans came crashing down.
Leah's eyes instantly saw her Mom's SUV, a wave of relief washing over her knowing for herself that Sue was fine. She quickly recognized her Mom before she noticed the brown haired Caucasian woman standing beside her. Based on Paul's expression as he spoke to them, it was obvious that something was going on. She could taste the tension in the air and also saw it in Sam's stance as he stood protectively in front her Mom, and the strange woman.
They began to walk towards them.
"What the hell is going on over there?" Jacob asked Leah, just as Paul's eyes glanced over Sam's shoulder towards where Jacob and Leah were walking along the side of the road.
As though he suddenly realized something, Jacob came to a stop and sucked in a breath.
Paul saw this and glared down at the woman in front of him, his lip turned up in a sardonistic smirk before their keen ears heard him speak.
"Why don't you ask him yourself?"
With that, the brown haired woman turned towards them.
"It can't be," Jacob breathed. "It's impossible."
"Jake?" Leah asked, concerned to see his russet skin turning a lighter, pale shade. "You okay?"
He simply stared, shaking his head as he was still in disbelief over what he was seeing.
"It's...Bella," he said, barely audibly.
"Bella?" Leah asked, incredulously. Her eyes looked back at the woman. "Really? As in, leech-loving Bella Swan?"
Leah paused and tilted her head slightly, quickly regarding the infamous Pale Face beside her Mom. If Bella had in fact been turned into a vampire, she wouldn't have still been in one piece. Still, Leah took a deep breath, waiting to find that nauseating acidic vampire smell to invade her senses.
Nothing.
"Well, I guess we were all wrong when we thought she'd go bloodsucker. But still, the Leech Lover shouldn't be here. I thought she was banned from the Rez with the rest of the Cullen's."
No one heard her comments besides the shape shifters. Paul smirked, basking in the pack's shared dislike when it came to anything that had to do with the Cullen's and vampires. He watched Jacob's reaction; surprise, quickly turning to anger. Paul could see Jacob's arms begin to tremble at his side before the Alpha-to-be quickly turned on his heel to disappear back into the woods.
To all of their surprise, Bella pulled her arm from Sue's grasp and ran across the road heading to where Jacob had disappeared.
"Jake! Wait!" She cried out.
But before she could chase him into the woods, Leah quickly stepped in front of her and blocked Bella's path.
"He doesn't want to talk to you," Leah told her bluntly, her arms crossed defiantly across her chest.
Before Bella responded, Sam intervened.
"Leah!" He shouted. "Let her pass!"
Leah clenched her jaw, hating the power of the Alpha timbre in his voice and growled down at Bella before she reluctantly stepped aside. Bella pushed her way through the brush and into the woods, her voice echoing loudly for Jacob to come back.
Jacob hadn't gotten far. He had come to a stop when Bella had called his name, his heart instinctively speeding up knowing that she was actually here and it hadn't been his imagination. Even after nearly two years, Jacob's body still seemed to react to her, but it was the more rational part of him that reminded him of how he felt when she had left him and the words she had left him with in the letter - I don't love you. Jacob clenched his fists at his sides, his arms still trembling at his sides with thoughts of Bella reminding him that she chose to love Edward Cullen. He could feel that familiar heat lick up his spine, demanding that he give into his more primal side and embrace that overwhelming anger that had been his companion for so long.
Just as he was about to run off into the woods to let that beast overtake him, he heard her approach him from behind.
Shit.
Closing his eyes, he quickly willed the trembling in his arms to stop. Jacob reined in that anger to just beneath the surface, but he could only hold back for so long. He needed to get away from her, and soon.
"Jake?"
His eyes opened upon hearing her voice. He had to admit that it felt good to hear her say his name; it sounded so natural. She was close and downwind, and he quickly caught a scent that he decided was uniquely her own. He took a deep breath, both to further quench the anger that he felt for her sudden arrival but also for the chance to selfishly drink in that scent once again, trying to give it a name to something that he had smelled before.
Lemongrass.
Dammit. Why couldn't she smell horrid or smell like something he hated?
Jacob clenched his jaw.
"Go away, Bella."
Her voice hitched, hearing his words dripping with so much disdain. Sam and Seth weren't kidding when they had told her that Jacob would unlikely be wanting to talk to her. As Bella stared at his shirtless back, she couldn't believe that this was the same Jacob that she had remembered. He was taller, easily standing a foot over her and his body had filled out. He was more toned than she ever remembered him being. That wasn't what startled her the most - his voice had unexplicably changed. There was loathing in it; long gone was the light, carefree and easy tone that she had been used to hearing. Still, she continued, her own voice surprisingly strong despite Jacob's blatant desire for her to leave him alone.
"Please, we need to talk."
Jacob continued to breathe deeply, his back heaving with each breath he took.
"I have nothing to say to you."
Bella took a deep breath.
"Well, I do. I just need you to listen." She paused and let out an exasperated sigh. "Can you...can you please turn around? I'd rather not talk to your back."
Clenching his jaw, Jacob slowly turned and sighed, looking at her face before his eyes quickly raked down her body, his fists still clenched at his side.
In that brief second, his eyes quickly noticed all those small subtle differences in what he held in his memory of who Bella was. Her brown hair had gotten longer and she looked to have put on some weight. It wasn't excessive and Jacob found that it suited her body. He couldn't help but notice that her breasts looked larger, even for the weight that she had put on. Bella looked healthy. It was also obvious that she had spent some time in the sun; a small splattering of freckles rested on her cheeks just beneath her eyes and he noticed a distinct tan line of a watch around her wrist.
His eyes went back to her own and he sighed.
"Okay, say what you need to say so I can get the hell out of here."
All intentions of telling him about Daniel suddenly disappeared when Bella had finally gotten a good look at him.
To see his face up close, Bella realized that this wasn't the Jacob that she remembered; the one she had dreamed about...that she had loved. Sure, she had already known that his beautiful long hair had been cut short. Bella had caught a glimpse of him that day in Forks across the road from the Outfitter's store when she suddenly realized Jacob's fate - Sam had gotten to him. But it was his dark eyes and hard, chiselled jaw that seemed to be pulled into a permanent angry scowl that gave her pause.
Bella sucked in a breath, unable to hide her shock.
"Oh my god. Jake, what did Sam do to you?" She breathed.
Jacob snorted and crossed his arms over his chest.
"Seriously? You chased me into the woods to ask me that?!"
Bella shook her head. "Yes...no, I mean -"
"For your information, Sam did nothing to me. Don't you dare blame him."
Something in his tone told her that she shouldn't push him. He was angry; livid even. Still, there had to have been a reason behind his strange physical transformation that turned her best friend into someone she barely recognized.
"Then, if it's not Sam, then what is it?"
A strange sardonistic smirk, similar to the one she had seen on Paul's face pulled at Jacob's lips.
"You don't want to know. You wouldn't like the answer." He paused, the dark smirk disappearing, before his voice softened just slightly.
"But there is something that I was always wanting to tell you."
"What's that?"
"You were right about us. You said it in that letter that you were so kind to leave me." That darkness reappeared in his face. "You and I together, that was a mistake."
Bella felt as though she had been punched in the chest. It hurt because her mind instantly went to Daniel; the innocent baby who wouldn't have ever existed if not for her and Jacob being together. Bella would never consider that time to be a mistake.
"That's what I was wanting to explain to you. I never wrote that letter! Someone else did - it was Alice Cullen, Edward's sister. She knew that I was in love with you so she left it on my behalf to hurt you."
"You seriously think I'm going to believe such bullshit coming from you. All you ever do is lie, Bella. You even lied to Charlie about everything...but you can't lie to me. Not anymore."
"Jake, I know that you're hurting. It kills me to know that you believed that I didn't love you anymore."
As Bella took a step closer to him, Jacob took a step back, keeping the desired space between them and shook his head. As much as he wanted to simply accept her word as truth, her actions or lack thereof spoke volumes.
"If you really loved me, you wouldn't have fucking left in the first place," He shouted, before taking a deep breath to calm his anger.
Bella nodded and winced slightly at his shouting but found herself agreeing with him.
"You're totally right. But I also left because I loved you."
Jacob scoffed incredulously. "Are you even hearing yourself?! That doesn't make any fucking sense!"
"And I wish that I could explain it to you, but I can't. So, please don't ask me to."
"How convenient," he retorted sarcastically.
"It's true. Have you ever had a secret that could possibly put the lives of people that you love, in danger? That's what it was like for me."
Jacob sighed deeply as he looked up at the canopy above him, shaking his head incredulously before he turned his attention back towards Bella. To Jacob, it was clear that her loyalty still laid with the Cullen's, especially knowing she was still keeping their secret after all this time. He found it amazing how quickly and easily they could put their hooks back into her.
"So, why are you back?"
A small smile came to Bella's face. "For many reasons. I missed home and-"
"Is Cullen back too?"
Bella paused, hearing his sudden interruption before she shook her head.
"No, I left in the night. Edward wasn't home at the time. Jake, I wasn't in love with him; I never was. You were the one that I was always wanting to see and wanted to be with. I still love you."
Jacob swallowed, hearing the words that his heart had been hoping to hear for months. He couldn't help but remember those months of agony that she put him through.
"Bella," Jacob breathed, seeing the hope in her face before he'd officially dash it. "Do us both a favour and just go back to where you were. I'm not the same kid who helped you rebuild those motorcycles two years ago. I wouldn't have been...good...for you. You're better off with that Cullen guy."
Jacob couldn't believe he even said it. He felt bile rise in his throat at the thought of suggesting to her to go live with a vampire. But he wasn't about to suddenly forgive her for everything and welcome her with open arms after what Bella had done to him. There was no doubt in his mind that she knew what the Cullen's were and she was strangely, completely comfortable to be living with them as she had been for nearly 2 years.
"You don't mean that," Bella said softly.
"What if I do?!"
"Jake, Edward and I, we didn't see eye to eye on things. He wanted things for me that I didn't agree with. So, I left him and I came home to you."
Jacob snorted, finding Bella's words hard to swallow. "Sure, at least until the bastard suddenly comes back and sweeps you off your feet once again."
Bella shook her head. "No, Jake, it's over between him and I. It's always been over. I don't love him. I love you. Forks is my home; I'm not going anywhere."
"Forgive me if I don't believe any of that crap that comes out of your mouth. Think of it from my point of view - a girl that I loved had finally told me that she loved me back. I had sex with her and the moment that her ex-boyfriend shows his pale ass at her door, she leaves town with him and tells me that we were a mistake and she didn't love me like she thought she did. If you were me, would you be able to believe her if she suddenly came back and said that it was over between her and the ex-boyfriend?"
As Jacob laid it out as plain as day, Bella could hear...no, she could feel the anger, the anguish in his words. It tugged hard at her heart.
"I don't know."
"Exactly!" Jacob stated, harshly between clenched teeth. "And that is why I can't take your god-damn word, Bella. I can't trust you - ever again."
He sighed, his fists beginning to tremble once again. Jacob closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the sudden scent of salt hitting him. He opened his eyes just as Bella spoke. He saw the tears in her eyes.
"Jake, please, just give me some time...some time to prove to you that I mean it when I tell you that I still love you. I have so much...so much to tell you, that I want you to know."
He shook his head, his anger starting to cloud his vision. Jacob knew that he needed get out of there, but it felt so good to unleash his frustration on her and to show her a little of how he felt.
"You left with him!" He shouted. "You left me, for...him! But it doesn't matter anymore. I've moved on from...whatever that was we had for a brief time. So, do me a favour, just go away and leave me alone."
Before she could say another word, Jacob turned and ran into the woods, his chest heaving, desperate to unleash the animal within. Except, he wasn't expecting to hear Bella call after him. Her voice felt like a siren to him, demanding that he go back to her, but he simply couldn't; he wouldn't. He had said words that made him feel sick to his stomach; even going as far as to suggest that she go back to her Cullen. Deep down, Jacob knew that he didn't mean them, but he was too angry and to hurt to think clearly. He had to get out of there before she'd see him phase.
Slowly, Bella turned, giving up in calling for him as Jacob's words replayed over and over in her mind. The sense of loss dug deep into her. The hope that she had felt before had vanished. Bella hadn't even had the chance to tell Jacob about Daniel. But given his state of mind and frustration towards her, she had feared how he would have reacted to that news. As much as she wanted to give up and heed Jacob's words in leaving him alone, for Daniel's sake, she knew that she couldn't; at least not until she's tried again. She still loved him.
The anguish must have been evident on her face, as Sam and Sue looked over at her in concern when Bella finally emerged from the woods. Neither said a word as Bella simply climbed back into Sue's SUV, but they knew what had happened.
Bella kept her eyes on her lap as Sue drove silently back into Forks.
Walking into her Dad's house, she was met with those same expressions, no doubt having heard the news sometime before their arrival from Sam. While Charlie met Bella at the door and wrapped his arms around her without saying a word, Billy offered a sympathetic smile and reached out to take her hand. Bella smiled weakly as her eyes went to Daniel, partially asleep on Billy's shoulder. The moment Billy moved slightly, Daniel raised his head and reached for Bella, who gladly took him.
Charlie smiled softly.
"We've kept the kid busy," he told her. "He's exhausted."
"I know the feeling," Bella stated weakly, running her hand lovingly over Daniel's head.
"Why don't you go lay down with him?" Sue suggested, carrying in the bag of diapers from the car. "I'm sure you both could use some rest."
Bella nodded, before she slowly went up the stairs with Daniel resting against her shoulder.
Three years ago, if she had had that conversation with Jacob, she would have sunk herself into a despair that she wouldn't have been able to climb out of. Bella was not that little girl anymore. As much as she still wanted to hide away and cry away her sorrows, she couldn't. The little person in her arms was her priority.
With a sigh, Bella closed her bedroom door and pushed her duffle bag to the side of her bed. Gently, she laid Daniel down on the bed and she moved in beside him as Daniel sat back up, whimpering behind his soother. Quietly, she assured him that she was staying with him and encouraged him to lie down beside her. As Bella turned on her side, Daniel pulled his soother from his mouth and dropped it onto the bed before laying down. He turned into her and tugged on the collar of her shirt, nuzzling his face into her chest.
Noticing his sudden desire to nurse as they laid there, Bella tugged her shirt up under herself and indulged him. It wasn't very often anymore that Daniel wanted to nurse during the day, but knowing that he was still getting over his sickness, Bella didn't mind.
Bella gently ran her hand up and down his back, and watched as Daniel reached up to play with the soft dark hair on his head as he sucked vigorously on her breast. It wasn't long before she was hearing him swallowing audibly. A soft smile came to her eyes as she watched his eyes begin to roll every so often between sucks.
"I saw your Daddy today," Bella told him softly, tears in her eyes as Daniel's own eyes quickly flitted up to her. "You look so much like him."
He sucked some more, his eyes closing for longer periods each time.
"I promise you, Daniel, I wont let you grow up without knowing your real father," she assured him, before leaning her head over carefully to kiss his small hand playing with his hair. "I wont give up for you."
Bella could sense Daniel falling asleep as his sucking seemed to slow down and his congested breathing became louder. With a smile, she gently broke the suction against her breast with her finger. Daniel's mouth remained slightly open, leftover milk dripping from his lips. Pushing her shirt down, Bella cuddled him into her before she closed her eyes to fall asleep.
The news of Bella's sudden arrival moved quickly throughout the pack. Although she was still human and appeared to have come alone and without the Cullen's, there was a unanimous agreement that despite all that, it wasn't good news. Like Jacob, the pack didn't trust her. To them, regardless of whether she were human or not, she was still a Cullen. It was as plain as day that she had chosen to align herself with the Cullen's when she left Forks and to the pack, allowing her onto the tribe land would completely violate the treaty.
It was not surprising that when Billy declared that Bella was no longer banned from the reservation during their meeting that night around the bon fire, it elicited not only confusion from Old Quil beside him, but quite a bit of anger from the group of shape shifters. It became so intense, that Sam had to stand up in front of the pack and order them to sit back down and shut up.
"I am disappointed with this pack of pups," he growled at them. "You are directing your anger towards our respected elder. It is their job to make the decisions that affect this tribe with wisdom. Billy has never made a decision that has negatively affected this tribe and I have confidence in him that he wont be starting now."
Silence followed Sam's forceful rebuke.
Billy wasn't surprised by the pack's reaction. He had seen a similar response to Bella's uninvited presence from Rachel after Sue had brought him home earlier that day after Bella had laid down with Daniel. Rachel explained passionately how she wasn't impressed to see the bane of her brother's constant anger and the unofficial Cullen at the front door. While he could understand Rachel's concern with Bella's presense, Billy was unimpressed on how she handled the situation. At the same time, he was still trying to decide whether everything Bella had said was true. But the fact of the matter was that Bella was the mother of his grandson. There was no way in his mind, that he was going to ban her knowing this.
Unfortunately, because Bella had yet to explain that situation to Jacob, he had no valid reason to give the pack as to the thinking behind his decision.
"But," Sam continued, sitting back down on the fallen log between Seth and Jared, "regardless of how adament Bella is that she has come alone, I wouldn't put it past those Cullen's to follow her. For the next foreseeable future, we're going to be keeping a closer eye on the Cullen's place and the land on that side of our borders. We're also going to include Charlie's place as part of our routine patrol. The moment any of you get a small whiff of their stench, alert the pack."
With a irritable groan, Paul raised his hand from where he sat across the fire. Sighing, Sam nodded to him, allowing him to speak once again.
"So, not only are we going to be on a Cullen watch, and at the same time, keep an eye out for that blond and the red headed bloodsuckers that have been frequenting the area, but we also have to include Leech Lover into our patrol? What the hell, Sam? Since when have you gone soft for her?"
"Just get over it, Paul," Seth mumbled, before Paul quickly shot a glare over at him.
"I'll fucking get over it, when Sam grows some balls and tells us what's really going on."
"Yeah man," Jared agreed, although not as hotly. "I mean, it just doesn't make sense. If Bella decided to live with the vamps, who are we to argue with that? She made her bed - she can lay in it."
While the pack began to verbally agree with Jared's statement, Sam looked over at Jacob to see him sitting quietly between Paul and Leah. The pair on either side of him had been very vocal with their statements and strangely, he hadn't said a word during the entire meeting. Jacob seemed distant. Instead, he simply stared into the fire in front of him while listening to the arguments being exchanged around him. It just wasn't like him. Sam wondered that maybe his conversation with Bella had gotten to him more than he let on or was wanting to admit. Concerned and also wanting to get his input in the matter, Sam suddenly called Jacob's name over the chaos of voices.
"Jake, what do you think?"
The voices around them silenced while Jacob looked up at Sam across the fire.
"Why do you need my opinion? You're Alpha, not me."
He could hear that bitter disdain in his voice and the pack felt it.
"Considering this involves Bella, I thought that you might want some input."
Jacob shrugged. "Do whatever it is you want to do. I'll follow it."
"That's not what I'm asking, Jake. Do you think we should create a patrol route past Charlie's?"
Jacob could feel all eyes on him. It was a little unnerving to be put on the spot like that when he clearly wasn't wanting to speak. Jacob's eyes flitted past the curious gaze of his father, Sue and Old Quil before he looked across the fire at Sam.
"If we're lucky, she's not going to be sticking around for long. And I still don't know why you're asking me."
"Probably cause we all know that deep down under all that anger, he still has feelings for her," Quil mumbled knowingly, elbowing Embry in the side.
Quil chuckled and a smile pulled at Embry's lips before the pair caught the dark glare that was sent their way from Jacob. The atmosphere around the fire suddenly became tense. The pack knew that Jacob could no longer handle Quil's teasing with the same ease as he used to. More often than not, stupid comments from Quil usually pulled him into a petty brawl against Jacob's wolf, leaving someone else in the pack to break it up. But having the elders present, made it all the more serious.
They were all surprised when Jacob's attention turned back to the fire in front of him and he shrugged.
"Like I said, do whatever you think is best."
Sam watched Jacob for a few seconds more, shock not only evident on his face but also on the faces of the pack that were present. Finally, Sam nodded.
"Fine then. Starting with the overnight shift, a patrol route will run through Forks behind Charlie's place before coming up through Cullen territory, past their old place and then back over onto our land."
With that, the pack disbursed.
Quil walked up to Jacob, not at all looking forward to sharing the patrol with him, especially after what could have almost happened during the meeting. He was just about to verbally apologize when Sam called out Jacob's name.
With a disgruntled sigh, Jacob turned to see Sam sitting beside where Billy and Old Quil sat.
"You're taking tonight off. Leah's taking your place with Quil."
No one gave more of a sigh of relief than Quil had at that moment. He looked over at Leah as she walked up to him, not at all impressed at being paired up with him.
"Jake, Old Quil wants to talk to you," Sam added.
Jacob groaned, glaring over at Leah who simply shrugged. She smiled sympathetically and mouthed at him, 'it wasn't me', before she took off for the woods behind Quil.
Knowing that he had best get over whatever pearls of wisdom the old elder could bestow on him, Jacob walked over to where he sat. Momentarily meeting his Dad's gaze, Jacob smiled at him, although the smile never did meet his eyes. Sam pushed Billy away and Sue walked beside them, leaving Old Quil and Jacob to have privacy.
"Sit down, Jacob Black," the old man's rough voice told him, as he leaned forward with a long stick in his hand to push the embers around beneath the burning logs. "You have been troubled for far too long. It doesn't just grieve your father's heart, but the pack is even sensing the disjointedness within you."
"I'm fine," Jacob stated, causing Old Quil to look at him.
"Bull shit."
Jacob nearly choked at the old man's choice words.
"I have been watching you struggle over the past few months," he admitted. "You have been angry-"
Jacob shrugged. "It's kind of a wolf thing. It comes with the territory."
Old Quil shook his head.
"No, I know that for you, it runs deeper than the occasional spurt of anger. It's an unquenchable rage that you have built up over time to cover your pain. I can see it in your face and your pack mates can sense the confliction within you. Sam has come to me quite often, but seeing you tonight makes me realize that you may need some guidance and help."
Jacob snorted. "And you seriously think you can? Help, I mean."
Old Quil sighed and looked down at the fire. "Unfortunately, I believe that this is something for you to work out on your own."
"So, why did you want to talk to me?"
"I have some questions to ask, in hopes that I can understand the reason behind your internal conflict and perhaps grant you some clarity."
Jacob rested his elbows on his knees, ready to hear all the Quileute hogwash the old man was going to lay on him.
"Shoot."
"Did you imprint on Bella Swan?"
A rare smile came to Jacob's face before he chuckled incredulously.
"Do you see me skipping through the damn forest with my face looking like I had just seen heaven or desperate to get the hell out of here just so I can go see her again?"
To emphasize his point, Jacob stretched out his legs in front of him, settling in to get comfortable.
"I'll take that as a no."
"That's putting it simply."
Old Quil nodded.
"You do know that your father and I have come to the conclusion that you may never will, but I had to ask just to cover all bases. But I assume that when she was here a few years ago, that you two were close."
"Unfortunately," Jacob said, his eyes going dark.
"How close?"
Jacob ran his hands over his face and stood up.
"I don't want to talk about this with you. This is..."
"You had sex with her. Am I right?" Old Quil asked bluntly, causing Jacob to gawk at him at his lack of tact. "I'm not a prude, young man. I've lived a full life and I know more about what goes on in the young lives of this pack than you may think." He paused and shudder slightly. "Or may want to know."
With a sigh, Jacob nodded and sat back down.
"Yeah, we had sex."
"How many times?"
"Just the one time," Jacob replied with a sigh, running his hands over his face, finding himself not believing that he was even discussing this with Old Quil. It was just as bad as talking to his Dad about sex.
"How long was this before you phased for the first time?"
Jacob sighed again, thinking back. Memories and images of Bella's face as she smiled at him before leaning in to kiss him invaded his thoughts. Jacob pinched his eyes shut, willing them away.
"I already had the fever when we had sex. It began to get more intense on the way back home. I phased a day later."
Old Quil nodded, looking into the flames of the dying fire in front of him. "So, your Spirit Warrior was already within you when you and Bella were intimate."
"But I thought it was the moment that we first phased, when we became one with the wolf that the Spirit Warrior comes to us."
Old Quil shook his head. "Your Spirit Warrior first comes to you with the fever. That is why even after you transform into the wolf, that fever remains with you for your lifetime. You are simply not one in tune with him until you transform."
Jacob leaned forward against his knees and looked into the fire. "I do remember feeling strange during the fever, but I dismissed it."
"Strange? How so?"
Jacob sighed, feeling awkward to be even saying these things aloud. He cleared his throat and shifted slightly.
"When Bella and I, had sex, I...uh..growled quite a bit and I loved the smell that she...gave off. I couldn't get enough of it. It seemed to satisfy something deep within me. I thought it was just a sex thing."
Old Quil smiled and shook his head.
"That, my boy is a wolf thing." He paused for a moment, pushing a partially burned log further into the flames, brightening the fire. "But it still doesn't explain how you have been unable to get over her in the way that you should have. Was there anything else?"
That's when Jacob suddenly remembered something else that was strange that had happened that night in his Rabbit; something that felt primal, full of desire and dare he say it? - erotic.
"I also bit her."
Old Quil's head suddenly turned to him upon hearing Jacob's words.
"You...bit her? Are you sure?"
Jacob chuckled. "I don't think that would be something I'd be unsure of." His smile faded as he recalled the overwhelming urge to taste her skin and then in the heat of his climax, his teeth clamped down, not fully breaking through the skin of her shoulder but enough to leave a mark. He remembered the intense need to lick the wound that he had created and felt the goosebumps that rippled over Bella's skin as he did it. "I wanted to do it and she liked it."
Old Quil snorted, a strange smile coming onto his face.
"Well, that explains your problem."
"Explains what?"
"You branded yourself onto her - marked her."
While Jacob stared at him in confusion, Old Quil continued. "I heard of this before. Your great-grandfather, Ephraim did the same thing to his wife. It's not like an imprint; this is very different. It's not some supernatural undying love thing that you've seen with your brothers. This is a purely voluntary action, but still holds similar mystical properties. How I see it, is that the Spirit Warrior, the wolf, must bend to the will of the Alpha man, you, in choosing whom he's in love with. You were in love with Bella and so you marked her as such. The mark you left on her would reveal her identity and connection to you, to the rest of the pack, as there is no imprint to connect her to the wolf. Think of it as something that joins two people who love each other, much like the custom of a ring given in marriage."
Eyes wide, Jacob suddenly sat up straighter. "Are you saying, I'm married to her?"
Old Quil laughed.
"Of course not! But this would certainly explain how deep your pain went with her rejection. The wolf is feeling the pain that you felt and remember, because you as the man branded yourself onto her, your wolf intended her to be your mate for life. You literally connected with her in more ways than one. Her betrayal changed you and hardened your heart from ever becoming hurt again."
Jacob ran his hand through his short hair, pulling at the ends.
"How do I unmark her?"
"You can't." He paused for a moment before continuing. "But I may be able to find something in our histories that may speak more of this. There may be a way to break that bond between her and your wolf, if you'd like."
"Please!" Jacob pleaded, desperately.
A small rueful smile pulled at the old man's lips before he looked back into the flames, thinking for a second before he spoke.
"I'm told that you spoke to her."
Jacob sighed and nodded.
"And how did that go?"
"Like nails down a chalkboard."
Old Quil winced and shook his head. "That bad, huh?"
"Let's just say the sooner you can figure out how to break this branding thing, the better. I'm tired of feeling like shit."
Old Quil stared into the fire, and it seemed like a little too long in Jacob's opinion. Suddenly, the old man blinked and turned to Jacob.
"Can I offer you a suggestion?"
"Sure."
"Talk to her again."
Jacob laughed aloud at the audacity within his words. When he looked at the stoic elder's face glaring back at him, Jacob instantly stopped his laughter and cleared his throat.
"You're serious."
"Do I look like I'm telling a joke?"
"No, sir."
"I wouldn't tell you to go talk to Bella Swan again if I didn't think it would be useful."
"What use would it be for me to hear more of her lies, and get more ticked off at her? I barely had enough time to get out of there before I couldn't hold it in any longer."
The old man shrugged and pushed more of the dying embers around in the flames.
"The spirits told me to tell you that."
Jacob sighed. "The spirits told you to tell me to talk to her? Why?"
Old Quil shrugged.
"I don't know why. I don't ask when the spirit tell me something." He paused and looked at jacob. "I suspect it's for you to find out for yourself."
Jacob groaned, not looking forward to talking to Bella Swan once again. The one time was certainly enough. But he knew well enough that he should heed the words of Old Quil; he wasn't a elder for no reason. As much as the pack teased and joked about Old Quil being high most of the time, the guy was pretty legit when it came to knowing things that no one else had told him about. It was unnerving, especially when he'd stare at you with a knowing smile. For that reason, Jacob took his suggestion to heart...as much as he hated to do it.
Thankfully, he didn't have to call her to ask if she'd speak with him again. Jacob had run into Sam on the way home and his Alpha offered to contact her on his behalf. To Jacob, Sam seemed just a little too excited even in his usual hard and stoic expression. Irregardless, Jacob was relieved that he didn't have to do it himself. Talking to her alone was going to be painful enough. But he was determined to move on with his life.
Bella was just going through the motions that morning and Charlie knew it. The day after her disastrous talk with Jacob, a lot of the wind had been taken out of her sails. Knowing that Jacob wasn't interested in talking to her again certainly had an impact in that.
Seeing as it was early in the day and wanting to get them out of the house, Charlie suggested that they all go down to Sue's place on the reservation. Deep down, he had hoped that they would run into Jacob, allowing Bella to finish explaining herself and hopefully introduce his grandson to Jacob. It was a hopeful thought; he didn't like seeing Bella this way. Although she wasn't anywhere near how she was when Edward had left her in the woods, a part of Charlie would always be concerned that she would revert back to that state.
As he suspected, getting Bella out of the house seemed to do the trick. She seemed to enjoy talking with Sue and Charlie found it amusing to watch her interact with Daniel. While Charlie watched Bella as she played on the living room floor with her son. Sue came into the room and passed Charlie a beer just as there was a knock at the door.
Not knowing who was coming to visit and to avoid anyone seeing Daniel, Bella quickly scooped up the toddler and got out of the line of sight of the door. Her worries were relieved when it was only Sam, coming to check on them and to give her some news.
"I tried to come by sooner, but I was busy," he said to Sue, before looking over at Bella. "Jacob wants to see you at First Beach tonight at seven."
Bella stared at him, while a smile came to Sam's face.
"Seriously? But he said that he didn't want to talk to me."
"He's had some convincing to give you another chance."
Bella sighed, leaning in to kiss Daniel on his cheek before she looked up at the clock. It was only three in the afternoon. Four hours were going to pass slowly, and she knew it.
During that time, she couldn't eat. Her stomach was between a flurry of dread, excitement and nerves. Bella spent the final half hour in the bathroom, certain that she was going to throw up. It was only when Charlie knocked on the door to alert of the time that she sucked it up.
"Do you want me to give you a ride down there?" Charlie asked, as she saw her Dad pass a messy-faced and shirtless Daniel to Sue. It was clear that the little boy had just finished eating spaghetti.
"If you don't mind, I was hoping to drive myself," she told them. "I need some time to think."
Charlie nodded in understanding.
"Take my car. And don't worry about us here," Sue told her as Daniel giggled against her tickling fingers. "We'll have fun and give Daniel a bath and get him ready for bed."
"Yeah, then later, Seth, little Danny and I are going to watch some hockey together," Charlie told her excitedly, causing Bella to chuckle despite her frayed nerves. "Billy might come over in a bit to join us."
"Try to keep Daniel awake for me. I'll nurse him before he goes to sleep."
Both Sue and Charlie nodded, their attention quickly turning to the little boy who was in dire need of a bath as Bella walked out the door.
She didn't remember much of her drive towards First Beach. Only one car had passed her along the way and the parking lot by the beach was completely empty when she arrived. Bella turned off the SUV and climbed out. She arched up on her toes to look over the steep embankment down to the beach to see if Jacob was down there.
Nothing.
Either than the seagulls crying in the sky, she was completley alone.
Bella looked down at her watch and noted that it was already 7:05. With a sigh, she made her way down the old wooden steps and walked across the soft sand towards the surf. A cool wind was blowing in; a sign that a storm was surely coming ashore in the next hour.
Another five minutes passed and Bella was growing impatient. She knew how much Jacob was unwilling to talk to her before. If he had been persuaded to talk to her now, it was possible that he had no sooner changed his mind and none of Sam's desciples had the decency to come out and tell her. Bella sighed angrily and turned on her heel to head back towards the parking lot.
That's when she saw him.
Jacob stood ten feet away, barefoot and only in a pair of cutoff shorts.
"Sorry I'm late."
His voice stoic, nothing like the last time she had spoken to him.
What Bella didn't know was that he had been late because he had had so much trouble controlling his emotions to phase back onto two legs long enough to even walk out of the woods. It had been years since he had had such difficulty. His wolf had paced in the woods for a few minutes before Bella had even arrived a the beach. When she finally arrived, the wolf purred with the scent that blew their way and found it was suddenly easy to phase back. When Jacob had finally stood on two legs, he glared at Bella from where he hid, knowing it was only because of her that he was able to phase back. It was frustrating. The fire threatened to overtake him once again before Embry had appeared at his side.
"You got this, man," he had said softly. "I'll be patrolling not too far if you need anything."
Jacob didn't respond and Embry wasn't expecting him to. Ensuring that he had a tight rein on that anger, he had walked out onto the beach. He put up an emotional wall, determined to get through this conversation that Old Quil sugggested he make.
In front of him, Bella shivered, a breeze suddenly blew against her back. It made her wish that she had brought a coat for the cold April day. She absently rubbed her hands against her arms.
"Aren't you cold like that?"
Jacob sighed and crossed his arms. This wasn't supposed to be a casual conversation, but he couldn't help but answer her.
Damn manners.
"I'm fine."
Bella took a deep breath, watching as he didn't so much as flinch in the breeze. Jacob looked solid, like an immovable object. Finding his staring suddenly becoming unnerving, she looked around the beach, finding that they were certainly alone.
"I remember the last time that I was here," Bella mused, looking out at the waves. "You and I went for a walk along the beach. It was colder than today."
Jacob snorted.
Duh.
"It was March."
Bella looked back at him and smirked before the expression fell.
"And you told me the tribe's superstitions when it came to the Cullen family. You don't know how much I wish that I never met Edward," Bella stated. "He took so many things from me."
"I know the feeling," Jacob said ominously, his hands in fists at his side. His normal human life aside, he eluded to Bella. "You don't know how many nights I envisioned beating him up for taking you from me. Could you believe that at the beginning I believed that he forcefully took you away? It wasn't until I heard of your phone call to Charlie that I knew that you left willingly. It made it all the more worse."
"I'm so sorry, Jacob," Bella said softly. "If I could take that all back, I would."
Jacob took a deep breath, willing his anger to subside for the sake of having a decent conversation with her.
"Why did you even come back? I know I asked this earlier but coming back just because you suddenly missed home sounds like bull shit to me."
Bella shook her head. "No, I did miss home. Where I was with Edward, it wasn't home. My heart wasn't there - it was here, with Charlie and with you."
Jacob sighed and rolled his eyes.
"I'm serious," Bella stated, seeing his expression. "But that wasn't the only reason I came back."
"Really?" He wasn't sounding convinced.
"Something...happened while I was away. And please hear me out when I say that I had no idea that I was pregnant when I left. I found out a-"
"What. The. Hell?!" Jacob growled a darkness clouding over his eyes, before he took a step back from Bella, feeling the wolf's anger plow into him. He ran his hands through his hair, pulling at the ends before glaring at her. Beneath it all, his eyes showed disgust and agony. The thought of somoene else, let alone a vampire touching her, having sex with her put an anger within him that he had never felt before.
"You were fucking pregnant with that leech's baby!?"
Hearing his words, she felt herself pale.
"What?" She breathed.
Jacob's chest heaving in anger, he took a bold step towards her, a growl resonating deeply in his chest.
"You know what I'm talking about. You came here to tell me that you're still in love with me, when you've had a baby with a damned leech?! How the hell is that even possible!? They're fucking dead!"
Bella shook her head, her mind still reeling over what he was saying and at the same time, she wanted to set the record straight for him when it came to Daniel.
"No, Jake-"
"Tell me Bella, was that filthy bloodsucker that you love as good a lover as I was?"
Seeing that unadulterated rage in Jacob's face, she instinctively stepping back from him. For the first time in her life, she was absolutely terrified of Jacob.
"You...you don't understand-"
"Oh, I understand perfectly clear I was too stupid to think-"
"No Jake! He's your son!"
Bella shouted the words loudly to ensure that he heard her. It took a few seconds and blinks of his eyes as he stared at her before the anger suddenly washed from his vision.
"My...son?"
His words were so soft that Bella could barely hear them.
"Are you sure?"
"He looks just like you."
Jacob scoffed in disbelief, ran his hand through his hair before he looked back at Bella, seeing her puzzled eyes looking at him.
"About what you said about Edward-"
"What's his name?"
Bella sighed,a small smile on her face despite his interruption. She was simply pleased to hear that Jacob was at least interested in his son.
"Daniel Jacob Swan," she replied. "He's over at Sue's right now with your Dad, Seth and Charlie. You can meet him but first, I want to ask you about what you said about the Cullen's."
A sudden howl cut over the sound of the surf. If Bella had to guess, the wolf was within a kilometer of the beach, especially since there was such a strong wind blowing inland. As curious as she was to the existence of the wolf within La Push, Jacob's eyes seemed locked on the treeline. His jaw tensed before he quickly looked back at her.
"Bella, I gotta go. Please go back to Sue's."
"Jake, I really think we should discuss this some more first," Bella said, getting a little miffed at his sudden desire to leave. "What the hell did you mean about calling Edward, a leech?"
Another howl pierced the air, causing Jacob to suddenly become nervous.
"I can't explain this to you right now. I really need to go. Just...". He paused and looked as sincerely as he could at her, more so than he had since she had arrived back in his life. "Just, get somewhere safe, please. I'll talk to you later."
Before Bella could argue any further, Jacob turned and ran towards the treeline, quickly disappearing into it. With a bitter sigh, Bella made her way back to Sue's SUV and began to drive back to Sue's house. She rolled down the window, feeling the first few drops of rain beginning to fall on her arm as she rested it against the door.
Bella was frustrated. As much as she understood Jacob's reaction in thinking that Daniel could have belonged to Edward, it didn't excuse his use for calling him a leech and bloodsucker. It was too much of a coincidence, especially given the Quileute's superstitions when it came to the Cullen's. For a moment, Bella wondered how much Jacob knew about them.
The rain began to pour and she was about to roll up the window when a flash of red darted in front of the car. Bella slammed on the brakes, causing the SUV to skid over the gravel road and twist slightly until it came to a firm stop. Bella slammed it into park in order to get her bearings. The only thing Bella heard were the wipers moving quickly across the windshield and her own breathing.
When she thought she could finally put the car back into drive, the door beside her suddenly disappeared and a pale hand reached in, grabbed ahold of her seatbelt, tearing it loose. Bella gasped. Within a second, she found herself pinned against a tree, Victoria, her wild eyes glaring at Bella as she licked her lips.
"You don't know how long I've waited for you," she said.