A/N: Yay! Update number 2 this week! Thanks so much to all my new followers and special thanks to all the loyal followers who have stuck with this story for all 16 chapters and EXTRA thanks to those who consistently leave positive reviews. Y'all are the best.
Companion song: "Back to the Family" by Jethro Tull
Disclaimer: I do not own or have any rights to the characters/plot of TWD series. I am just a fan exploring the marvelous, macabre world Robert Kirkman created.
Thanks for reading! Please leave a review in the little box at the bottom before you go! (:
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Chapter 16: Family and Etcetera
"You ready for this?" he asked as the stood on the wooden planks that formed the wrap-around porch.
His brown eyes searched her face and Beth knew that he would find a strange combination of apprehension and enthusiasm.
She shrugged but responded, "Been waiting for two years, but you've been waitin' even longer… it's time, whether we're ready or not."
Stepping forward, she knocked on the door. They were in their normal formation for clearing houses. Beth would knock, Morgan would stand to her left, they would listen for movement with weapons poised, and wait for walkers to rush towards the sound of their knocking. This time was different though…
Their weapons were sheathed and, for once, the door opened from the inside. It was Rick that came to the door instead of a rotting corpse. Light poured out onto the two visitors. Lights, from light bulbs, inside the house.
Absolutely none of this was normal to her.
"Come on in," Rick said as he stepped aside to allow the space for Beth and Morgan to enter the foyer. "Most everyone's in the living room waitin' for y'all. They're excited to meet you, Morgan, and to see ya again Beth."
His blue eyes looked at Beth again, expectant. It was as if Rick was waiting for Beth to say something profound or to run in there and start hugging everyone.
Morgan smiled and answered in order to take the pressure off of Beth. "Best not disappoint anyone then," and he gestured for Rick to lead the way.
/
A big, furry dog bound around the corner and into the living room. Almost the entire family was scattered through the living room and Maggie could swear that not a single one of them was breathing. Well, except for Judith who was lying on the floor, coloring. A man, several years older than Rick with some gray hairs peppering his scraggily beard, was next to emerge.
He was closely followed by a small blonde woman.
Her hair was pulled back into a braid that trailed down her back and she was thin but muscular. There were scars on her face and her hand was resting lightly on the hilt of a knife. Bags under her eyes were deep purple, the color of the sky just after dark. Her piercing blue eyes were darting around as if searching for an escape route before resting on the faces of the people in the room. It was these blue eyes, so similar to her father's, which convinced Maggie that the almost unrecognizable woman was actually her sister.
The breath she had been holding in, gushed out of her mouth with an audible whoosh. She was happy that she was sitting down because she thought if she was standing, she might have fainted from the sudden rush of oxygen. Even with the warnings from Daryl and Rick and Glenn, all of who had already seen her, she was still completely caught off guard.
"Bethy. I can't believe it," she whispered. Glenn squeezed her hand as she stood up and started across the living room.
She stopped when the dog blocked her path to Beth. He sniffed at Maggie but seemed to approve before moving to inspect the rest of the family in the living room. Maggie reached for Beth's hand and the little blonde didn't resist.
"You must be my sister," it was the same musical voice she remembered but the lack of recognition in Beth's voice broke her heart. It was clear from the vacant look in her blue eyes that Beth genuinely did not remember her own sister.
She just nodded somberly, adding, "Yeah, I'm Maggie." The small blonde's hand was rigid in her older sister's soft, warm ones but she didn't pull away which Maggie took as a good sign. After another, slightly uncomfortable, moment Maggie dropped Beth's hand. The rest of their family was still silent, not knowing what to say to the blonde stranger in front of them.
Judith's rambunctious giggles filled the room and every set of eyes shot over to where she laid on the floor. Beth's dog was rolling around, poking the toddler with his nose while she laughed and tugged on his fur. Lucky was at least twice her size but Judith wasn't afraid.
"He's fluffy. Can he stay, Daddy?" She asked with wide eyes looking up at her father. Rick stood with a hand on his hip and the other scratching his chin below a huge grin.
He knelt down to her level and grabbed her little hand, "Yeah, sweetie. They can all stay." The man turned his blue gaze up to Maggie's own little sister. The implication was clear—Morgan, Lucky and Beth were all welcome to stay in Alexandria.
Then, she saw the corners of Beth's lips twitch up. It was unusual. Not her normal smile… not even really a smile at all. Then Lucky followed the girl and licked her face. And then Beth let out a beautiful, musical laugh.
That was when Judith's eyes finally landed on Beth. The little girl smiled wide and turned her head to one side like a dog. It was obvious that Judith remembered Beth but she was still too little to recollect her fully. Which was fine, because Beth didn't remember Judith either. However, Judith still came racing towards her and wrapped her arms around Beth's legs.
"Uh… hi, lil' one," Beth said awkwardly as she patted Judy's back. Even though it was stiff, the voice was still unmistakably hers… and that must have been what Judith recognized.
"Hi mommy," the little girl replied simply, voice slightly muffled because her face was squished into the side of Beth's leg.
Beth shot a look of alarm and confusion at Rick. It was sincere and she looked down at the toddler clinging to her as if she was trying to do the math of how old she was.
Rick chuckled and Abraham let out a loud guffaw. "She's not your biological daughter… but she certainly remembers you," Rick told her. This eased her face back into the quiet mask it had been before. Judy detached herself from Beth's leg and went back to coloring on the floor and petting Lucky.
Something seemed to flip in the room after that. And it was only then that Maggie noticed that Daryl had slipped into the room. He had been on the fence about coming to the dinner and Maggie knew why—she'd seen how heartbroken he was after Beth died in Atlanta, how he'd never been the same since then, and she could guess at the reasoning. She wondered how much Daryl had seen of the scene that just happened.
People began moving and introducing themselves to Beth and Morgan, shuffling into the kitchen and dinning room to get food and sit down at the large table. It was ridiculous to have to introduce themselves to Beth when they had all lived in a tiny prison together for almost a year.
There were two empty spaces left between Rick, at the head of the table, and Maggie. It was unspoken that the chairs were meant for Beth and Morgan, but they hovered away from the rest of the family. Maggie could see silent conversation passing between the two of them, but she couldn't even guess what it was that they were saying.
This hurt.
It reminded her so much of when they were children. They used to speak in such easy shorthand, built from years of late night talks, that Hershel called it a secret code. Once they were older, they had become close enough that all they needed was one look in order to convey what they were thinking. The Greene sisters might as well have had a psychic link.
But then, Maggie went off to college and they never got that connection back. When the dead started walking and their brother became "sick", their relationship began stitching itself back up. However, she screwed that up too. Maggie was smart enough to realize that she had all but thrown Beth to the wolves since she fell in love with Glenn—at the prison, after it fell and even when Daryl went to rescue her from the hospital. She'd made so many mistakes.
She believed their bond was severed forever when Beth died. It seemed like the sisters might be getting a second chance… but were they really?
Is she even really Beth anymore? Maggie wondered as she took in the sight of the blonde who didn't even recognize her own flesh and blood.
Beth had returned, not as the girl who was stolen from them in Atlanta, but as a woman, fully-grown and more dangerous than imaginable. Beth used to be naïve, shy, gentle but now she was deadly, confident, silent. The deep purple bruise on Daryl's face was concrete evidence of how much she had changed, how dangerous she was. Even her blue eyes seemed darker. They had absorbed the worst parts of this new world. They darted around rooms as if searching for escape routes instead of looking at others. The family crowded around her, which used to be comforting and loving, now made her visibly uncomfortable.
The last time Maggie had seen her alive, Beth had told her "I won't leave you." There had still been streaks on Beth's cheeks where the tears over their father's murder wiped away the dirt on her face. But the older Greene girl had pushed her away, into the bus, and told her "We've all got jobs to do" before abandoning her to find her husband. Beth had looked heartbroken and absolutely terrified. That moment had haunted her so often that it was permanently etched into the inside of her eyelids but it was almost impossible to match this memory of her sister to this woman who sat next to her at the dinner table with a scowl plastered on her face.
/
Clanking silverware mixed with the light chatter of the strangers surrounding her. There were so many people included in her "family" that not all of their names stuck in her head. The food was amazing though; fresh, cooked zucchini over brown rice with slow cooked venison, all spiced to perfection.
Nothing canned, nothing expired, nothing cooked over a campfire.
Beth had never had a meal like this. She scarfed down everything on her plate before most everyone else was even halfway finished. This was a world where you never knew when, or if, your next meal would come. Beth had learned when to ration and when to gorge.
When her plate was clean, Daryl wordlessly, and without many people noticing, pushed the dish with the remaining deer on it across the table towards her. She gratefully put another piece on her plate. Then he looked pointedly at Maggie next to her, down at the venison, then back at Maggie. She took another piece as well, and the Korean man she saw earlier, whose name she learned was Glenn, smiled at Daryl and said "Thanks, man."
This interaction between her bright-eyed sister and the silent hunter was curious to her. Did Daryl just take care of everyone? Or was he focusing specifically on the Greene girls? She found herself wondering yet again, who Daryl had been to her.
Beth stayed completely silent during their meal, just observing the people and waiting to see if something would trigger a memory.
Nothing did, of course.
She didn't even feel those strange sensations of déjà vu.
The young man named Carl, who Beth guessed was close in age to her, cut the baby girl's meat. They were introduced as Rick's children but she saw that everyone took care of the toddler. Glenn had made up her plate. Carol, the older woman with cropped hair, had cleaned up the mess when Judith tipped her plate over—although Lucky also helped with that. Michonne took her from the table and set her up with toys after she was finished eating. It was clear that this child was everyone's, not just Rick's.
It made her wonder how she used to fit into that puzzle. Judith had recognized her and called her "mommy."
I guess it's obvious what I used to be to her.
This was slightly unsettling, knowing that she had been so responsible for that little life. So she pushed it out of her mind. She was not a mother and in this world, she never would be.
Despite the cheerful conversation, there were anxious, concerned looks were being passed around the table when they thought Beth couldn't see. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw her sister whispering to her husband Glenn. Beth knew that it must be about her and she wondered if the people around the table were comparing her to the Beth they used to know. No one explicitly asked her any questions and Beth guessed that they were under specific instructions to give her space. The tall, redheaded man whose name she already forgot, began to ask her a question at one point but Daryl shot him a look that would have made a grizzly bear quake and the redhead shut his mouth with an audible snap.
However, Morgan amicably joined the conversation; talking pleasantly about Judith, the comforts in Alexandria, vaguely mentioning some of the places they travelled and job assignments.
"How are they chosen?" Beth finally piped in on the topic of jobs.
Rick's eyebrows raised in surprise that Beth spoke for the first time since sitting at the table, but he recovered quickly.
"It depends on what the community needs and your skill set," he replied.
"What can we help with?" Morgan asked, eager to get involved, always looking for a way to serve others.
"They could use another hand over at the clinic, I was thinking you could do that Bethy," her sister blurted out, obviously excited about the idea. However, she seemed to rethink her answer before sputtering, "… used to be really great at that kinda stuff…"
Beth thought of all the wounds she had stitched up on herself, Kyle and Morgan over the years. The lack of fear meant she had no reservations about blood or death, so it had always been easy. But she wasn't excited about the prospect of being stuck in that small clinic with sick people all day, everyday.
So she just shrugged.
Daryl, sitting across the table from her, narrowed his eyes at her lack of response.
Morgan chimed in, covering for her rudeness, "Beth's too modest. She'd be great at it." He leaned into her and whispered, "Just give it a try, you really would be good."
His optimism and belief in her caused an involuntary smile to spread across her face, and she gave a microscopic nod.
"What about me?" he asked Rick.
"Haven't decided yet for you yet. Why don't you come around with me tomorrow and we'll figure something out," the leader responded with a pensive look at his old friend.
"Sounds great."
People had started getting up from the table, cleaning dishes while rambunctiously laughing about jokes that Beth didn't get. Beth had no idea how to summarize the night. It had been awkward, feeling so many people's eyes on her. She had no memories of ever being in a room with this many people at one time. Even though it was all pleasant and smiles, it made her feel trapped and slightly suffocated. No one really spoke to her and she didn't talk to them either, which was fine with her. However, this seemed to worry them, which told Beth that she used to be talkative. The fact that they thought she should work in the hospital told Beth that she used to be nurturing. From the way people kept scrutinizing her looks out of their peripheral vision, she must look different too.
As she suspected, they were comparing her now to the girl they knew before she was shot—the girl she didn't know anymore.
She kept waiting for something bad to happen that night. Walkers to crash through the house, but it didn't. Though she did notice that this family was different than most of the people in Alexandria. She saw the hunter's crossbow perched against the wall of any room he was in, noticed Rick's gun tucked into his waistband, the knife sheathed on the older woman's, Carol's, waist. This was the only thing that made her feel like these people were actually her family. They hadn't gone soft, they knew what the world was like outside the walls and they were still prepared for it.
While this did assure Beth that they were her family… or whatever you wanted to call a bunch of unrelated strangers that lived in a house together… it didn't make her certain that she would stay here. The walls, the crowds, the electricity, the false sense of security.
This place, Alexandria, was too good to be true.
Deanna had said earlier that it would be "the start of civilization again". This idea creeped her out. Civilization was something in books, it wasn't real anymore. Maybe, one day, in a distant future when the walkers had all died out, people—living people—could flourish again. But Beth was skeptical that this place would be the birthplace of the new world.
The walls were built backwards for Christ's sake.
She wouldn't stay here long enough to find out if they held.
However, she looked over at Morgan, comfortably lounging on the couch and smiling with Rick. He wouldn't want to leave. Only one day here and she could already see worry lines disappearing from his face. Of course, he would go with her if she asked; Morgan and her were bonded irrevocably. But that was exactly why she wouldn't ask.
The body heat and laughter of 14 people, combined with the weight of her impending plan to leave, made the house feel claustrophobic. So she pushed off of the counter where she leaned, off the side of the group, and slipped silently out the back door. Lucky trotted out with her, following her as he always would.
Beth walked around the porch until she got to the side where she could see the street but she was out of the reach of the small solar-powered streetlights.
After a few minutes, the back door creaked open and Lucky's tail gave one swish of contentedness as Michonne came around the corner of the house.
"Deanna holds these huge parties whenever someone new comes in," she didn't look at Beth when she spoke, she just stared ahead. It took the pressure off of Beth to respond. "Gets real crowded. I ended up on the porch my first night too."
"It gets better, more natural. But it'll take time," Michonne glanced at Beth out of the corner of her eye. Beth knew she must have seen the restlessness in her because she wasn't finished. "You gotta give it time before you go running off alone."
Beth smiled and a chuckle tumbled out of her lips.
"How'd you know?" she asked.
"When I first met up with your group, I was real skeptical. Spent a long time on my own and didn't trust anyone. Snuck away more than once, ready to leave, go back on the road alone. I must've had that same crazy look in my eyes that you've got now," she had chuckled but then her face turned serious again. "Never could bring myself to do it though and I don't regret it one bit. You're a smart girl, you'll figure that out yourself soon enough, but I thought I would help you get there."
"You mean I used to be smart, before. You don't know me now," Beth snapped. She knew that Michonne was just trying to be friendly but she didn't want these people to make assumptions about her based on the Beth they knew two years ago.
"Yeah, the old you was a smart girl, but I'm not talking about her. I'm talking about the girl that survived in this world for two years. You did good out there, keeping yourself, Lucky and Morgan safe… now it's time to rest." Michonne looked sincere at this and didn't wait for a reply before turning to go back inside.
Beth shook her head even though Michonne couldn't see.
No one gets to rest in this world. Safety was just an illusion. But Michonne was right about one thing. She would need to rest up before she decided to make her next move.
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A/N: Uh-oh. Beth is already making plans to run away…
Thanks for reading everyone! What did y'all think of the family dinner? It was really hard to write with all the characters involved and I was really nervous about letting you down. I know that so many of you wanted Beth to get her memory back when she saw Judith but I worked in clinical research labs with these patients and I am sorry if it ruins some TV magic or disappoints you and that is NOT how memory and PBIs work unfortunately.
I'm still looking for someone who can draw that wants to help me out with an epic TWD project! PM me if you're interested.
Next chapter: is a long one and there is some precarious, sexual Bethyl tension.
What did you think of Maggie's POV? And Daryl in this chapter? And the interaction with Judith? Please leave a review!