A/N: I am so so so so so sorry that this is a week late. I have been super busy at work and… I got a new puppy! He climbs in my lap every time I sit down (he's way too adorable to push him off), plus I have to get up and take him downstairs almost every 30 minutes to go pee. So basically I've gotten nothing done. I will upload some pictures so y'all can enjoy his little face too. Thanks for being patient!
It is a long one to make it up to you!
Companion song: "Wicked Games" by The Weeknd (caution: explicit lyrics!)
Disclaimer: I do not own or have any rights to the characters/plot of TWD series. I am just a fan exploring the marvelous, macabre world Robert Kirkman created.
Please review, your comments make me happier than Glenn reuniting with Maggie!
/
Chapter 17: The Lesson
The next morning Maggie and Rick stopped by the house to take them to their prospective days of work.
Beth hated the clinic but she gave it a full week. It was basically a bunch of waiting around while nothing happened, punctuated with moments of assuring people that they were safe in terrible, hopeless situations. Beth already watched one person come in from a run with a bite on his arm, they tried to amputate it but the fever had already spread before he was brought in so it had all been pointless. Dr. Ortiz gave the man pain medication and whispered soothing nonsense into his ear until he slowly faded away from the world of the living. While Beth knew that it was better to die peacefully in the clinic bed, than outside being ripped apart like Kyle or Dr. Edwards, it sucked either way. And Beth knew that she was no use in the clinic—she was better at preventing injuries than healing them.
She wanted to go out on runs.
So one night after dinner, she approached Rick.
Morgan and Beth had moved into Rick's house earlier that week, as planned. It was awkward at first. Living in a town with other people was strange enough. But now she also shared a bathroom, one with hot showers and flushing toilets, with other people. Most of them had stopped staring at her. They had either accepted that she was different or had just decided to give her some space, she didn't know which. Most nights she didn't join them at the table for dinner. Group dinners were still too suffocating. However, she had slowly gotten to know some of members of her old family. Michonne had begun joining Beth for her morning runs; she caught Beth leaving one morning and asked if she could come to get back into shape. She got to know Rick because he checked her gun out to her almost everyday when she went outside the walls. Though, no one knew that she snuck out almost every night without official approval. Carl and her actually spent time together in the kitchen. Beth didn't like depending on others for food so she and Carl would usually cook meals. He had taught her how to cook using "normal" kitchen tools as he called them.
However, there were two people that had avoided her like the plague. Maggie and Daryl. She was smart enough to guess that Maggie was avoiding her out of grief—a sister coming back from the dead only to be a totally different person. But she didn't understand why the archer avoided her… he had seemed so adamant about being near her that first night. Now the only time she saw him was when they awkwardly ran into each other in the upstairs hallway. Beth didn't spend too much time thinking about the man who lived across the hall though, because it didn't matter. She was still planning on leaving, and she would use the runs as a way to scope out where to go.
Rick was sitting on the floor with Judith when she approached him. The little girl waddled over and tried to show Beth the picture she had drawn but Beth basically ignored her. Rick's brow furrowed at this, but he smoothed out his features after a moment.
"Rick, can we talk?" she asked, standing over him.
"Sure, Beth. Let's go outside," he tipped his head towards the door and stood up. One of his joints cracked on the way up. Lucky stayed behind with Judith on the floor of the living room.
Outside, she leaned against the porch railing and Rick placed his hands on his hips, waiting for her to speak.
She didn't waste any time, "I don't want to work in the clinic."
"Yeah, Doc mentioned that you weren't too excited about it," he nodded in understanding at this, completely unsurprised. "We'll find somethin' else for you to do. Got plenty of room in the kitchens or guard duty."
Rick was a problem-solver. Beth had already seen how his brain was constantly working, finding the best way out of sticky situations, always thinking two steps ahead. It was clear why people chose to follow him.
"No," she said roughly. "I wanna go out. Out on runs or scouting missions."
He looked down at the wooden planks and Beth knew that he was already thinking of ways to talk her out of it.
"Beth, I can't let ya do that… it ain't a good idea."
"Why's that?" She kept her cool, suspecting that Rick would see an angry outburst as instability and just another reason to keep her behind the walls.
His green eyes met hers and they glowed from the small, solar-powered streetlight behind her. He had a plethora of reasons ready, of course.
"Well, first, I don't honestly feel good about sending a young girl out there to the walkers," her anger rose at this statement but he wasn't done. "Second, you've been out there so long, I don't know how you'll do on a team. I've gotta look out for everyone's safety and I won't put you out there without knowing how you'll do," Rick was looking at her sadly, but seriously. Beth was already coming up with counter arguments. "Lastly, all those crews are full right now. I'm sorry, Beth."
She took a deep breath, attempting to settle her fury so she could have a rational conversation with the leader.
"Rick, I don't know who I was before… but I am not the 'young girl' you used to know. I survived out there for two years. That life—the one outside the walls with the walkers—is the only one I know. Playing house, with these perfectly manicured lawns and family dinners. I don't know how to do this, how to live like this," her voice was low, she didn't want the others to hear her desperation. "I'm goin' stir-crazy in here. I'm no good at life behind walls, but I am good out there. Surviving is what I do. Ask Morgan, he'll vouch for me."
He stared at her for a long time. Just stood there with his hands on his hips, eyes boring holes into her skull, deciding her fate. She wondered what he saw.
"I'll think about it, Beth. Until I decide, why don't you work on guard duty with Michonne and do some training with Abe or Daryl? They're our best fighters and I won't send people out there without training," he seemed genuinely concerned about her when he said this.
"All right," she said with a single nod as she pushed off the railing, "Thanks." She passed by Rick as she stepped passed to the doorway, he was as still as a statue staring out at the street in front of the house.
Upstairs, she tromped straight into her room, Lucky following close at her heels. There was a small amount of light visible under the door from Daryl's bedroom across the hall from hers. She couldn't help but wonder how training with him would go considering he hadn't spoken to her in a week.
/
The voices from the porch wafted up through his open window. Daryl had been sitting in the windowsill, sharpening a knife and jonesing for a cigarette. He'd been chain smoking like the old days and only had one left in the pack he found at the airport last week but he was determined to save that one. Though Beth was making this insurmountable. She wants to go on runs, back to the walkers, outside the safety of the wall.
He could tell Rick didn't want her to go out there either, making excuses left and right to keep her at a job inside Alexandria.
But she wouldn't budge. It seemed like the only thing that hadn't changed about Beth was her stubbornness.
Rick mentioned that she could take training with Daryl and his hackles went up.
What the hell is he doing?
It was true that everyone was trained before taking a job on the teams outside. But Daryl never did any of the training. He recruited people, brought them in, and then saw them whenever he happened to be walking around Alexandria. He would definitely need to talk to Rick tomorrow about this 'training.'
There were soft footsteps that came to a brief stop in front of his door before Beth's door clicked closed. He went to sleep soon after this, planning on waking up early in order to get out of the house before Beth and Michonne's morning run. He had been doing his best to avoid her; waking up early, eating dinner at Aaron's, taking extra shifts on the wall. At first, he wanted to watch out from her from afar and after she told him to get away from her the first night, he was upset but he thought that she was still Beth. However, the family dinner is what broke him.
This woman, who was now living across the hall from him, was not Beth. He had seen how she skirted away from Judith, had seen how she glowered at everyone at the table over dinner. The old Beth would have spent hours cuddling with Lil Asskicker and would have been the laughing and singing with her family instead of sitting alone on the porch.
The Beth he knew, and fell in love with, shared next to nothing with this woman now. They looked similar, had the same scars, and were stubborn as hell, but that was where the list ended. While his brain knew this, his heart wouldn't stop aching for her. One morning he saw her coming home from a run, sweaty and flushed, and he couldn't help reacting to her. He had dreamt about her for two years and he hadn't been attracted to anyone else since then, Daryl told himself that it was only natural. But all the same, he needed to avoid her until his body could fall in line with what his head had already figured out; that this was not really Beth.
Before the sun rose the next morning, Daryl was already up and taking care of Judith. She was sick with a bad cold and hadn't slept much the night before. He could hear her coughing and sniffling all night, even from the neighboring room, so he woke up early to make her oatmeal and orange juice.
"Thanks Uncle Daryl," she cooed from where she was snuggled on the couch when he brought in her food.
"Yer welcome, baby," he replied as he plopped down on the couch too. Judy was still so little that she only took up one section of the three that made up the sofa.
He leaned back and threw his arm over his eyes. Daryl had dozed off and started awake when something warm and wet touched his hand. His eyes popped open and the arm that had been on his head flew out in self-defense. When the blurriness of sleep cleared, he found himself staring at Beth's dog with big, blue eyes with brown and black fur, and a swishing tail.
The girl herself didn't spare a glance towards Daryl, she was merely a blonde blur that ghosted out the front door with Michonne. A high-pitched whistle from outside caused Lucky's ears to perk up and he bolted out the door after Beth. Daryl huffed a loud sigh and stood up, his joints cracking in the process.
Judith was asleep again, so he took her empty oatmeal bowl back to the kitchen before going off in search of Rick. He was upstairs getting ready for the day, the bathroom mirror still foggy from his shower, when Daryl barged in.
"What the hell?" Daryl demanded.
Rick stood shirtless with his pants hung low on his hips and a toothbrush in his mouth. He raised his eyebrows at Daryl. Daryl knew that Rick knew what he was upset about because they never really needed much verbal communication. However, sometimes Rick could be a true pain in the ass and would feign confusion in order to make Daryl talk.
"I'm givin' lessons now?" he felt his voice rising but didn't care. He was still pissed about Rick volunteering him to train Beth. And for that matter, the fact that he was even considering letting her out of the walls again.
No, no. Don't go there! You're not her protector anymore, that's not the same girl so it doesn't matter if she goes outside Alexandria, he told himself.
"Ah, so you heard that then?" Rick asked, looking at Daryl in the mirror with an unashamed glint in his eyes.
"Course I heard. What the hell were ya thinkin'? I don't do lessons!"
"I know ya don't… but you should. I always told you that you should, now's as good as time as any to start." He chuckled a little, toothbrush still hanging out of his mouth, at Daryl's look of incredulity.
"Look, I know you've been avoiding her. Waiting until she's out on a run before coming downstairs, leaving before she gets back, eating dinner at Aaron's place or hanging out next door all day." Rick spit out the last of the toothpaste and rinsed his mouth before finally spinning around to face him.
Daryl scoffed and crossed his arms in a defensive position but he shrugged his shoulders as if to say 'I dunno what you're talking about.'
"We've all seen it and it's ridiculous. It's gotta stop." He pushed his way out of the bathroom and snatched up a gray button down shirt off the bed.
"I know it was… hard on you… losing her in Atlanta," he looked up from his buttons momentarily but Daryl suddenly looked at the floor like it was the most interesting thing on the planet. "But that's no reason to push her away now. You're getting a second chance. Even before the dead started walking that would have been a miracle—now it's unheard of. It's not somethin' you just walk away from."
"It's different now, she's not the same person," he mumbled almost incoherently after several, extended moments of silence.
At this, Rick got pissed.
"Dammit, Daryl. Of course she's not the same. We all change out there on the road, you've got to! You can't tell me you don't remember what that was like. She's different, she adapted… but deep down it's still her. You'd know that if you bothered to be in the same damn room as her for more than a minute."
He let his hair fall in his eyes and didn't respond, feeling a lot like a child being scolded. Rick's anger visibly melted away after a moment, he had gotten much better at controlling his temper behind the walls of Alexandria.
The leader's voice was soft but tenacious when he spoke again, "She is back, beyond all reason and all hope, she is back after two years and a world of walkers. I love ya too damn much to let you throw this opportunity away, brother." Rick clasped a hand on Daryl's shoulder and their eyes met. Daryl could see that his friend was only trying to help.
"Do the lessons or I'll have to lock the both of ya in a room," he ordered lightly, and holstered his python.
"Guess you can call me Mr. Miyagi," Daryl mumbled, slightly defeated. However, there was a sudden, unexplained buoyancy in his chest.
Rick laughed and nodded his head before striding out of the bedroom.
/
Just get it over with. He told himself as he approached the grassy park area near the northern wall of Alexandria.
His crossbow bounced slightly off of his back and there was a distinct knot in his shoulder where the bulk of its weight sat all the time. It was going to be a muggy day, he could already tell this much from the moisture that clung to his skin even before 6am. The humidity reminded him of Georgia, which was both a good and bad thing—but he pushed old memories out of his mind as the green commons came into view.
Daryl spotted her bright blonde hair easier than seeing a lighthouse at night. She stood in a pair of gray sweatpants with her recurve bow slung easily across her back. From this distance it was easy to fool himself into thinking she was the same girl he watched hanging laundry on the lines in the prison yard all those years ago. Daryl had seen her so many days from up in the watchtower, doing chores or taking Judith on walks. But as soon as he saw her move, this illusion was shattered. Her stance was tense, poised for action about 30 feet away from a gnarled old tree. As he watched, a flash of sliver flew from her hand and with a considerable thunk, embedded into the thick tree trunk. Daryl threw knives too. He had for years. But still he found his eyebrows had involuntarily shot up in surprise. Seeing little Beth handle a knife with that level of skill was unbelievable. Daryl remembered how terrified she had been of using his bow at first, and how she used to blanch away from him when he skinned animals. He couldn't reconcile this severe woman in front of him with the gentle one from his memory.
Just do this one damn lesson so Rick will get off your back, he reminded himself.
"Hey," he grunted by way of greeting when he came within earshot of her.
Lucky came bounding out of the bushes towards him and jumped around Daryl excitedly with his pink tongue lolling out the side of his mouth.
"Hey," she said with a confused look at her dog before she glanced up into his eyes. He forgot to breath for a moment. Those piercing blue pools threatened to drown him—in memories, in emotion, in her.
Not her. Not her. It's not her. The mantra repeated in his head, but he wasn't sure if he was reminding himself or trying to convince himself.
"Sorry ya had to come out here for this, Rick said he doesn't let people outta the walls without lessons though, so I guess you're used to it," she continued, oblivious to Daryl's inner turmoil.
"It's fine," he grumbled, averting his eyes as she yanked the knife out of the tree and returned it to the sheath on her hip. He noticed that it was his knife that he had left with her in the fire engine but he knew that she had no way of remembering that it had been his.
They stood in silence for a moment, unsure what to say to the stranger in front of them.
"So… how do you normally start these trainings?" she questioned.
How the hell should I know, he wanted to snap but he held his tongue.
"Let's just throw some punches."
She smirked at this, "You sure? I'd hate to mess up that nice face of yours again."
"I'll be ready for ya this time Greene." He chuckled at her sass and it reminded him of their last few weeks alone before she had been taken. They had gotten so comfortable together while they were alone, and jokes had been tossed around easier than Daryl had done with anyone before. But then he saw the grin slide off her face.
"What did you just call me?" Beth's voice was softer now, all joking was gone.
"Uh… Greene. It's your last name…" Daryl stuttered into this unknown territory "Didn't Maggie tell ya?"
"No… she hasn't said much of anythin' to me," there was a sad smile on her face. "She been takin' lessons from you on that?"
"Nah," he said as guilt ripped at his stomach. He didn't know that Maggie had been avoiding Beth too. He wanted to comfort her; she looked small and so much like her old self in that moment. But he shook this urge off, she was not the same—she didn't even know her own last name.
"Beth Greene. Beth…Greene," the blonde repeated the name as if testing it out, seeing how it rolled off the tongue. The corner of her lips floated into a smile again and Daryl had a flicker of hope that maybe it would help her remember something from before her injury.
No such luck.
She used his distraction to her advantage and swung at him. At the very last second, he dodged it. He tossed his crossbow to the ground and prepared for another blow. Beth's right fist shot out towards his face and as he knocked it out of the way, but before he could react her left hand connected with his stomach. This continued for a number of minutes—Beth swinging and occasionally connecting a punch on Daryl. He only dodged her blows, not daring to send his own fist towards her. He'd never hit a woman in his life and he wouldn't start now. But Beth grew frustrated with this.
"Come on! You're not even fighting back. How is that supposed to prepare me for what's out there?" she shouted through gritted teeth.
"Beth, I ain't gonna hit you."
She sighed loudly but she kept brawling. There was a mischievous glint in her eyes now and her swings were coming harder and she began kicking out too.
She was trying to provoke him.
Trying to hit him enough to force him to fight back.
When Beth's arm launched into a right hook he stepped back and used her momentum to swing her around so that her back was pressed up against his chest. He gripped her wrists, tight enough that she couldn't move but not tight enough to actually hurt her, and forced her arms to cross in front of her own chest.
She was intoxicating. The smell of vanilla and peaches filled his nostrils, how the hell did she smell so good? They used the same shower and this was definitely not the smell of their soap. Her blonde hair had started to fall out of its ponytail and wisps of it tickled his face. Beth's body was pulled flush against his chest, and Daryl fought his animal instinct that screamed at him to turn her around and kiss her. Every inch of him that was touching her felt like it was on fire. Beth was wriggling slightly against him, which didn't help the situation. Trying to get her wrists free and jabbing elbows into his ribs, but this barely made him flinch. It might leave bruises but he was so numb to pain that it didn't even faze him.
"That ain't gonna work, no matter how many times you hit me I'm not gonna fight ya," he breathed raggedly into her ear.
One of Beth's legs swung out and connected with his kneecap, catching him off balance. She used his weight against him and they toppled over onto the ground. Daryl landed flat on his back and she fell straight on top of him, knocking the wind out of him. She scrambled around and settled her knees on his arms so they were successfully pinned to the grass. Seeing Beth on top of him made his heart race. The sun was just coming up and it made her look like she was glowing, the little pieces of loose hair lit up like a halo.
"Got ya," she gasped heartily with a wicked smile on her face.
Daryl could have stayed under her like that forever. They were breathing heavily and there was a pink flush spread across her cheeks. He got an inexplicable urge to tease her.
"How long do you really think you can hold me here, Greene?" He asked with the cock of his eyebrow.
"As long as I—" Beth's light-hearted sentence was cut off when he used his legs to roll them both over. His hips fit neatly inside her lean legs. He was on top of her now, pinning her arms over her head but he carefully kept his weight on his knees so he didn't crush her.
"What were ya saying about keepin' me down?" He asked sarcastically.
Beth was laughing and staring into Daryl's face one second, but as Daryl watched the look on her face changed. Her eyes glazed over and seemed to stare off to a different time.
"…Beth?" When she didn't respond, he pushed off of her. "Beth… are… are you okay?"
Daryl was about ready to snap his fingers in her face when she came out of it. The light reentered her eyes and she focused on Daryl again.
"I'm fine," she said curtly as she stood and brushed stems of grass off of her arms. Lucky scurried over and began sniffing and circling around his owner protectively.
"Nah, Beth, you're not fine. What just happened?" It was just like her to downplay something that was happening to her. But for that briefest moment, Daryl felt a flame of hope ignite inside him. It caught onto every fiber in his being like his soul was made of kindling. The way she stared off, indistinct to the world around them, he thought that she was remembering something from a previous life.
Did she just have a memory from before the gunshot? Which memory was it? Does she remember something from the old world? Does Beth remember me? His mind was corybantic with questions.
"Are we done with training?" she finished in a manner that made it clear there would not be a discussion about whatever just happened.
He didn't know what to do. The old Beth, the one he had known and loved, was open and willing to talk. She wore her heart on her sleeve and had an inexplicable talent of drawing this same quality out of others. Now she was shut down as completely as he used to be. It would take someone much stronger than him to crack her open.
"Yeah, a'right," he grunted after her.
They both gathered their weapons left in the grass before they started sparing. Daryl turned towards the sniper tower, going up there and being alone with something to focus on that wasn't Beth would be good for him. A distraction from the burning questions about what just happened… not just the part where Beth freaked out but also the part before that. When him and Beth were wrestling and laughing. He saw a flicker of the sweet, innocent Beth from the farm until that flittered out to be replaced by the terse, angry stranger. She had only been back for a week and Daryl was already tangled up with conflicts.
When he reached the top of the street he looked back, expecting to see Beth turning right at the street for the house they shared. Instead, she went left.
What the hell is she doing?
But he shook this question off. It wasn't any of his damn business. He had given her the lesson that Rick had asked him to so he could go back to ignoring her.
When he got to the tower Spencer Monroe, Deanna's last living son, was already on watch. His legs were propped up on the window and he had an easy grin on his face. That was Spencer—always relaxed, always smirking. At first, this made Daryl want to punch his shiny white teeth in but as he got to know the guy he began to respect his genuine optimism. He was even a little envious at how easy it came for Spencer.
This was all old news to Daryl by now so he just pushed into the small room on top of the building that used to be a chapel.
"Hey man, what's going on?" Spencer asked in surprise.
"I'm here to take over the watch," Daryl responded as he reached to take the rifle from the younger man's hands.
"Are you sure? Sasha is supposed to take over for me after lunch… it's barely even 8 am."
Daryl just shrugged, not wanting to explain his reasoning for wanting to take the shift. "Do ya want the morning off or not?"
An effortless chuckle came from Spencer's mouth as he got up and made to leave, "Can't argue with that!"
The archer's knees cracked when he squatted into the chair. He noticed that the door hadn't closed and knew that Spencer must still be standing behind him.
"You should take ah' picture instead of standin' there staring," Daryl half-joked.
"I was just wondering how the new people were adjusting, Morgan and Beth, Deanna was asking." Daryl was skeptical for a moment. Had he seen what happened with Beth in the park and was trying to bait him? Was Deanna trying to play her match-maker games again? Or was it just an innocuous question from a concerned community member? However, Spencer was unabashed by his question so Daryl figured he was just being paranoid.
"They're good," he responded though he was not entirely sure it was the truth.
"Really? Because I heard both of them still don't have permanent jobs yet. We're looking for more people to go on runs. I'm thinking they would be good since they lived out there on their own for so long." While Spencer talked, Daryl looked out of the scope of the rifle for something to do. He had known that Rick had lied to Beth last night about there being no spots on the run teams of course. Spencer had been going out with Glenn's team for a little over a year now, and he suspected that it was in an effort to make up for Aiden's mistakes.
After a few moments of silence Spencer asked "You know them best, what do you think?"
Through the scope, Daryl saw something, or rather someone, on the far west wall of Alexandria. His heart pounded in fear. Was someone entering their city?
But as he watched the figure, he noticed that the person was climbing up and out, instead of climbing into the town. The climber had a hoodie on but when they reached the top, they turned and Daryl saw Beth's face and some lose strands of blonde hair.
Shit, she's sneaking out.
"Daryl?" Spencer's voice penetrated his preoccupation.
"Yeah, they'd be great," Daryl responded without thinking.
"Great. I'll see if they want to go on the run tomorrow. Do you know where they're at?" His head snapped up to Spencer's face after he saw Beth drop over the back of the wall.
"No idea," he wasn't going to tell Spencer that Beth just escaped his dad's 'impenetrable' fence. "I gotta go," Daryl murmured as he pushed out of the door.
"Wha—wait! I thought you were taking my shift?" Spencer shouted after him but the hunter was already halfway down the spiral staircase.
He was picking up the pace towards the gate and Michonne, who was luckily on guard duty, let him out. He didn't tell her where he was going, but instead just let her assume he was hunting or something. The hunter traced back towards where he saw Beth climb over. Peeking through the infinitesimal gap between slats, he saw Lucky sitting obediently staring at the wall.
Why the hell is she going over the wall alone, without the dog even? What the fuck is wrong with that woman?
He found light tracks leading away, he must be 15 minutes behind her by now but he was determined to find her.
/
A/N: Rawrrr ;) some close encounters there with our favorite couple. What do you think happened to Beth? Where do y'all think she's going?
Next chapter: Daryl goes looking for Beth and shenanigans ensue. After that: the action picks WAY up!
Please review, your comments make me happier than Glenn reuniting with Maggie!