Have you ever felt like life was repeating itself? As if, you were stuck in an endless loop, with no hope to ever get out.

I feel like that way too often.

My life feels like it is stuck in such an endless loop: learn about a Council member, sneak towards them, kill said Council member, come home safely, repeat.

I am stuck, and I have no idea on how to escape it.

I know I am overreacting. The rebellion needs me as their leader (I am, after all, their namesake).

It's just, sometimes I feel as if the whole world wants something from Lifwynn. Something that I just can't give to them.

We are still in recovery time. As for the dragon-eye necklace Cwealm bought for me (using my own money, might I add), I've worn it every single minute since we came back. And, as for the journal...

I have been too terrified to write him back. Henceforth why I am writing in this journal instead.

I've only told one person about the journal, and that was Adkin. While he was upset and angry at me for not telling him about it sooner, he agreed to help me think things through. I chose not to tell him that it was Cwealm whom he ran into. He apparently didn't notice the man enough to identify him.

I moaned and slammed my journal shut, chucking it across the room. It hit the stone cavern's wall with a loud thud, which echoed throughout the entire room. I got up, away from my desk, and collapsed on my bed, snuggling my face into my pillow. Why was it that my life was so complicated? Couldn't anyone else's?

My hands slipped underneath my pillow and kept on going until they hit something hard and leather. Setting my jaw, I pulled the leather-bound book from underneath my pillow and sat up, placing the book in my lap. Adkin suggested I didn't write anything, and pretend that I hadn't seen it. But I knew that our information on the other Council members was very limited, something that not even Adkin knew. All the other members had flaws, secrets that we could use to exploit them. Ebony and Sabre? I didn't even know where their chambers were, or where they ate breakfast.

Before I could second-guess myself, I walked slowly to my desk and set the book down. I sat down on the chair and my hand shakily reached for my quill. A little voice inside my head was chanting, persuading me not to pick up the quill. But I knew...

We needed Cwealm's help. Whether we liked it or not.

Alm,

I am not surprised that you have figured out where our base is located. William was never the strong, silent type to begin with.

While I am relieved to hear that you will not inform the Queen about our doings, should I choose to accept your proposition, forgive me if I tell you I doubt your word. Now, you must understand why: you are the assassin for Her Highness, while I am a petty rebel whom the Queen would love to have executed in the town's square.

No one has been informed of this journal, except for my closest aide. I trust you will do the same on your side.

I will be honest with you: how you figured out that the resistance knew very little about Ebony and Sabre, I do not know. But, should I choose to accept, any information you could share would be appreciated to the fullest depths.

My aide has strongly protested against me writing to you, but I know that we need your help.

I choose to accept your proposition. As of right now, Cwealm, life and death are allies.

My decision has been made,

Wynn

I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding and folded the book back.

"You wrote him, didn't you?"

I flipped around in my chair, leaping to my feet. The chair wobbled on its two legs before falling onto the floor. Adkin stood in the doorway, his dark eyes narrowed at me. He had changed into a white, linen shirt with dark brown breeches and tall, brown boots that hugged his calves.

"Yes, I did."

"Wynn..." moaned Adkin, shaking his head. He pushed himself off and walked over to me. I shifted, trying to relax myself, as Adkin placed his hands on my shoulders. Using his thumbs, he pressed my chin and forced me to look into his eyes. "You do realize that if this all fails, we will all, not just you, be executed? You have just put the hope, the life of this resistance, in the hands of the enemy's assassin."

I gulped, licked my lips, and nodded in understanding. "Yes, Adkin, I am aware of what I have done." He groaned and let go of me, starting to pace at the foot of my bed. "Trust me, Adkin, when I say that you have not seen the other side of Cwealm. I don't know which is scarier, when he is a Master Assassin on the hunt, or when he is a good man protecting someone." Adkin froze and turned to look at me incredulously.

"When have you seen Cwealm?" Adkin demanded, his knuckles turning white from clenching his fists too hard. "Where have you seen Cwealm?"

I knew right there and then that if I didn't tell Adkin the truth, my dearest friend would be lost to me.

"First time was during the Vexacion raid," I answered truthfully, and Adkin's eyes widened. "Vexacion wasn't alone. He had Cwealm in the room with him. Cwealm helped me. He held Vexacion down as I stabbed him with the arrow. He bought me time. Time that if I didn't have, I would have been caught. The second time was during the marketplace."

Recognition dawned in Adkin's eyes and I could see him trying to calm his frantic shaking. "T-That man...? Alm...he's Cwealm?" He groaned and face palmed himself. "Of course! How could I be so stupid?"

"Cwealm can be considered my mortal enemy," I explained to him. "He had two, perfectly opportune moments to kill me: when Vexacion left the two of us alone in his room and then, during the alleyway before you came. He could have destroyed the resistance right there and then. Why not?"

"I don't know, maybe Morgana has bigger plans for you?" Adkin blurted out, shrugging slightly.

"Or maybe," I began, walking over to him. I placed my hands on his arms and continued softly, "Cwealm actually wants to help us."

"He has killed many," Adkin told me, and I laughed incredulously, shaking my head as I walked back to the desk. "What?"

"Adkin, the resistance has kidnapped people and put them into comas!" I yelled back, throwing my hands up into the air. "We cannot judge another man's deeds without first looking at our own...!"

I was cut off by the sound of someone writing on parchment.

And it was coming from behind me. Slowly, I turned over my shoulder and saw a dim light coming from the pages of the journal Cwealm had given me. I glanced at Adkin, and he motioned for me to open it. Turning back to the book, I gripped the edge and flipped it over violently, leaping backwards.

Nothing leapt out at me, nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Except, when I looked at the heading, it didn't read 'Cwealm', as I had written it. It read something different.

Dearest Wynn (as you have stated in your letter),

I am glad that you have chosen to accept my proposition. In nature all around, life and death are allies and enemies at the same time. It is fitting that you and I are the same.

Wynn, I am hurt. Dearly. Despite popular belief, once I give my word, I do not go against it.

Usually.

Which Council Member do you wish to have information on first: Ebony or Sabre? (Although, I will personally suggest you go after Ebony first. Sabre is the leader of Morgana's army, and an assassin, close to my caliber).

Only one knows about my journal, my closest aide and friend, Nadir. He will not go against my wishes. He knows that I will torture him without a sweat should he fail me.

Write soon,

Alm

"I-Is he..." stuttered Adkin. I jumped, not realizing that he had moved from his spot and was rapidly reading the letter over my shoulder. Adkin shook with an invisible rage. "Is he flirting with you?"

I blushed and looked away, coughing as I tried to pretend to have something stuck in my throat. "No. I'm pretty sure that's just how he talks."

"All flowery and poetic," snorted Adkin, rolling his eyes. "Probably acts like a love struck girl." I slapped him in the chest and he looked at me with an annoyed look before he rubbed the sore spot. "Are you going to write him back?"

"Should I?" I asked, looking back at the book.

"Nope!" Adkin told me, his hands latching onto my wrist. He dragged me towards the door and continued, "Today, we celebrate the fact that we aren't dead yet!"

After having a rousing dinner with Adkin, Percy, and David, I excused myself and went back to my room. Throughout the night, Cwealm and I communicated through the book, me taking up his other on advice for Ebony and he sending all the needed information.

According to Cwealm, Morgana had picked up the woman from a druid camp. She a tall and willowy, with dark hair and dark skin. Her eyes were as black as coals, or that was how Cwealm described her. He wasn't too sure what her role in Morgana's takeover was.

Ebony was in charge of all the messages that came in, out, and through Camelot. Surprisingly, she was also Morgana's maidservant, helping the woman with daily chores, changing, and repairing of dresses. Cwealm warned me that if we did choose to take out Ebony, Morgana would be furious. Apparently, she grew really close to her maidservants.

I used my normal journal to sketch out plans and ideas of things we could do in order to infiltrate the castle and take out Ebony. But, every time I shared an idea with Cwealm through our shared book, he rejected it.

Wynn, all your plans are ridiculous, Cwealm wrote, his writing coming out clear and elegant. We had dropped the formal letter-writing style hours ago and switched to a more conversational type of writing. I can already see flaws in every single one.

Thanks, I'm feeling really motivated right now, I wrote back sarcastically, grumbling to myself all the while. I slammed the book down on my bed angrily and leaned against the stone wall, resting my head on it. The pages flared and I grabbed the book, opening it back up to where we were at.

Hello Cwealm's Book Friend! the words yelled, and I looked at the book with a raised eyebrow. So, this is what Cwealm is doing... The rest ended with smudges and I swore I even saw a little bloodstain.

Apologies, the book wrote out. Nadir got into my study and magicked me away before I could do anything. He wants to get to know you some more. The writing trailed off, then came back faster than ever. Ok, Nadir just had the stupidest plan, but I think it might work.

Trust me when I say I'm the Queen of Stupid Plans, I wrote back hastily. What's the plan?

You come as an Queen from a country, swearing loyalty to Morgana.

Excuse me, what now?

"She's not writing back," Nadir commented, taking a seat on Cwealm's bed beside the assassin. Cwealm shot him a dirty glare before looking back at the book. He rubbed his hands together and tried to take calming breaths. There must have been a reason behind her stalling. "Should we be concerned?"

"Do I look concerned to you?" Cwealm shot out instinctively. Nadir raised an eyebrow at the assassin. "Don't answer that." Cwealm's aide raised his arms in defeat before slipping off the bed and going over to Cwealm's desk. "Any new messages from her Royal Highness?"

"Junk, junk, junk, spam," Nadir mumbled under his breath as he flipped through various scrolls and letters that littered the desk. He paused and snatched one up, reading it intently, before racing back to Cwealm's side.

"This!"

"What?" Cwealm asked, grabbing the scroll out of Nadir's hands. He opened it up and quickly read it, his jaw dropping in disbelief. "Morgana wants me to attend the Lady..." He paused, reading the note closer. "She wants me to be the date to one Lady Kathryina at Her Majesty's Allies Ball?" Cwealm looked up at his friend with a frown. "You have a really bad way of trying to cheer me up."

"Keep reading the note, you dollophead!" growled Nadir. "Morgana has never seen Kathryina."

Realization dawned in Cwealm, and he started to nod, understanding Nadir's plans. "So, if a certain fair-haired rebel decided to mask herself as Kathryina..."

"Morgana would be none the wiser!" Nadir cheered, clapping his hands together. "Now...we have to wait to see if your little girlfriend replies."

Nadir wasn't fast enough to duck the pillow that was sent flying his direction.