NOTE: I'm back! I missed writing so much! I don't know if I'll be able to post everyday like I have been, but I'm going to try my hardest to keep posting because once my semester starts back up in a few weeks, I have no idea when I'll get to post. TRIGGER WARNINGS for detailed descriptions of piercings and detailed descriptions of a massive anxiety attack/mild self-harm! Any and all feedback appreciated! Please enjoy!
The sound of Craig's alarm jolted him awake at seven thirty in the morning. He rolled over, turning it off with a groan. He didn't mean to fall asleep and miss the rest of the Christmas festivities, but something about cuddling Tweek Tweak made him very…tired. He yawned, stretching his arms above his head as he got up to change for work. As he was tugging his sweatshirt off to grab a warmer sweater, he heard Tweek hum.
"Hey, why're you getting up?" He mumbled, staring up at Craig.
"I have work. I took off for Christmas weekend." Tweek pouted.
"You work so much. Can't you just…not go?"
"I would love to, but think of it this way: I work the morning today. That means, all evening I'm free." Tweek looked hard in thought for a minute.
"Hmm…alright. Sounds like a fair trade off." There was a soft knock on the door, Laura's head popping in.
"Morning love bugs!"
"Hi mom." Craig took two big steps across his room, placing a quick kiss to his mom's forehead.
"I know you have work Craig, but Tweek you're more than welcome to stay through breakfast. I know it's early." Tweek sat up, stretching his limbs as well.
"Thank you for the offer, Mrs. Tucker. I'll probably have Craig drop me off on his way to work." She gave a small nod.
"Sounds good," She kissed both their foreheads. "Be safe!" And just as quickly as she came, she left. Craig walked down the hall to brush his teeth while Tweek gathered his things, Tricia rushing past Craig's room to the bathroom.
"Hey Craig, question." Craig spat into the sink, rinsing his toothbrush.
"What's up?"
"Will you take me to the tattoo shop to get my cartilage pierced? I wanna spend some of my Christmas money." Craig looked at her in the mirror.
"Pretty sure mom or dad needs to be with you. Just because I'm eighteen doesn't mean I count as a guardian."
"I know I know I just…want you to come with me." Craig blinked, noticing the light blush on his sister's cheeks. He chuckled.
"Sure. Maybe I'll get my ears pierced." Tricia's face lit up.
"DO IT! You'd look so good!" She grinned, rushing back to her room. Craig came back to his room, a smirk on his face.
"What was that about?" Tweek asked, tugging his coat on with a smile.
"Nothing. She wants to bond. Ready to go?" Tweek gave a small nod, playing with a loose string on his coat. The car ride was relatively quiet, the soft hum of Craig's car and the radio the only sound filling the tiny space. Craig didn't want to say anything, but there was something off about Tweek. He wasn't sure what, but he seemed…jittery. As he pulled up outside of the Tweak residence, Craig reached out and grabbed Tweek's hand. "Text me during the day if you need anything, okay?" Tweek nodded, swallowing hard.
"Y-yeah."
"Tweek," He looked him in the eyes. "I mean it. Text me. Or even call me if it's urgent." Tweek only nodded again, smiling slightly before getting out of the car. Craig waited until he was safely inside his house before he left for work, a familiar feeling filling his stomach: anxiety.
Craig didn't think much about the entire situation with Tweek at work. He kept his phone in his back pocket just in case Tweek called or texted him, but it was so busy he wouldn't have gotten the time to check it anyways. He skated over to Kenny at one point, biting hard on his lower lip.
"Christ, Craig, don't fucking puncture your lip." Kenny teased, causing Craig to wince. He hadn't realized how hard he had been biting his lip, the familiar taste of blood filling his mouth. He wasn't bleeding a lot, but it was enough to make Craig cringe.
"Too late." He mumbled, wiping his lip on his sleeve.
"You seem…out of it."
"It…It's Tweek. He spent the night and as we were leaving this morning he just seemed…off. More than usual, if that…if that makes sense." Kenny hummed, sipping at his hot chocolate.
"Yeah…maybe it was just a bad night's sleep. He usually has insomnia, right?"
"Yeah, but he hasn't had it for a while. The anxiety medication he's on helps with that. Plus, I would've felt him move." Kenny gave a nod, thinking.
"Wait, he's on meds, right?" Craig gave a nod. "Maybe he accidentally missed a dose or he-he got prescribed a new prescription. Anxiety meds can fuck with you if you're not used to them." Craig blinked, thinking about what Kenny said.
"Yeah…maybe you're right. I'm meeting Tricia and my mom at the tattoo parlor after work, so maybe after I'll go over to his place and see what's up." Kenny's eyes lit up at the mention of the tattoo parlor.
"Is Tricia getting tatted?!" Craig snorted, wincing as his nose was still hurting him.
"God no. She wants to get her cartilage pierced and wants me to come. I'll probably get my ears pierced." Kenny grinned wider, tugging his hood down to reveal his heavily pierced ears: cartilage, helix, and front helix in one ear, and industrial, tragus, and orbital in another. Both lobes had three piercings in them, the first hole having hoops while the second and third simply had studs.
"Welcome to the club, Craig Tucker!"
The rest of work was hectic after Craig's conversation with Kenny, and he couldn't help but start to worry when he saw he had six missed calls from Tweek, but no voice mails. He shot him a quick text.
Hey, babe. Hope things are okay. I'm on my way to bond with Tricia, so I'll give you a call when I'm done.
He paused, quickly sending another text.
I realize now that "bond with Tricia" sounds like we're becoming one person, but I promise you that isn't the case!
As Craig pulled up to the tattoo parlor, he bit his lip when Tweek didn't even text him back. He pocketed his phone as he walked into the shop, Tricia and his mom already there signing papers. The piercer, Sam, gave a wave to Craig.
"You here to get pierced too, dude?" Craig gave a nod, reaching for his wallet.
"Yup. Just my lobes." He said as he plopped the money on the counter, chuckling as Tricia cheered.
"See mom?! I told you he was getting his ears pierced!" Laura let out a soft laugh.
"Your brother is really embracing this entire bisexual thing." Craig flipped her off with a smile, Laura flipping him off right back with a wider smile. Craig signed the papers after showing his driver's license and then followed Tricia and Sam back to the station. He let Tricia go first, a quick look of panic flashing over her face.
"Hey uh…Craig?"
"Yes Tricia?" She turned a dark red.
"Will you…will you, uh, hold my hand?" Craig couldn't help but smile, walking over and sitting in an extra seat next to her and grabbing her hand.
"Yeah, of course. Squeeze as hard as you need to." She gave a nod, smiling a bit. Sam started prepping for Tricia's piercing, marking a spot on her left ear for her.
"That good, hon?" He asked, handing her a mirror. She looked at it and smiled, nodding again.
"Yeah it-it looks great!" Sam chuckled.
"Alright, so I'm going to take this needle here and just push it through, but I'm going to have you take a deep breath for me okay, hon? Deep breath in," Tricia took a deep breath in. "And out." As she exhaled, Sam pushed the needle through, Tricia' face twisting in discomfort. Her grip tightened on Craig's hand, Craig's eyes never leaving her face. Tricia glanced over at Craig as Sam finished putting the jewelry in.
"Hey, you did, it, Tric!" Craig said with a grin as Sam handed her the mirror again. Tricia blinked, grabbing the mirror and grinning as she looked at her (now red) ear.
"Holy shit it looks so cool! And-and it didn't hurt that bad!" Tricia jumped up off the seat, switching places with Craig after Sam wiped down the seat for him. Sam started prepping for Craig, Craig grabbing Tricia's hand.
"You know…just in case." He said to her with a smile, causing Tricia to snort. Sam place two purple dots on Craig's ear lobes, Craig giving him the okay.
"Alright, bro, same process. Shove it on through with the deep breath. So, breathe in," Craig took a deep breath in, closing his eyes. "And out." He let go of his breath, his hand squeezing Tricia's slightly as the needle went through his ear. He opened one eye to look at her, her eyes twinkling as she watched the process of ear piercing. They repeated the process on the other side, leaving Craig with two simple round black studs in his ears. He looked at Tricia.
"Do I look more badass or gayer?" Tricia let out a laugh.
"Somehow you look more of both." Craig laughed softly, walking up front with Tricia. Laura looked up from her phone, a smile on her face.
"Well, don't you two look dashing! C'mere, quick picture. I gotta show your father," Both of the Tucker children let out a groan, but Tricia wrapped an arm around Craig's waist (she only reached his chest) while Craig leaned his arm on her head. She took a few quick pictures, the three of them thanking Sam once more before heading out. Craig blinked as he pulled his phone out, surprised to find a missed call from Mary Tweak on his screen. Laura saw the look of concern on her son's face. "What's wrong, Craig?"
"Mrs. Tweak called me…she's never called me before." Laura blinked, biting her lip as Tricia climbed into the front seat of her car.
"You go on over and see what's going on, okay? I'll see you whenever." She leaned up and kissed Craig's cheek, getting in the driver's side of her car and driving off with Tricia. Craig got in his car after waving goodbye, immediately calling her back. His heart froze as she answered, screaming the first thing he heard in the background.
"CRAIG! Craig, sweetie, you-you know I-I'd never call you like this, but I-we need your help!" Her voice was hysteric and it sounded like she had been crying. She spoke so fast, Craig could barely hear what she was saying over the screaming.
"Hey-hey Mrs. Tweak, calm down! What's going on?!" Craig was pulling out of the parking lot, already en route to the Tweak household.
"It-it's Tweek! He-he ran out of medicine yesterday and didn't realize it and-and the pharmacy is closed until tomorrow! If he misses one day he-he has terrible panic attacks and-"
"I want out!" Craig's heart broke as he heard his boyfriend screaming what sounded like bloody murder on the other line.
"Everything we-we try doesn't work! I-I know you always somehow calmed him down when you were younger! Please-please hurry! I-I feel terrible not being able to help him, Craig!" Mary Tweak sobbed into the phone, Craig already a few blocks away.
"I'm almost there, Mary! Try and get him to stay still!" He hung up, tossing his phone aside. He turned into the Tweak's driveway, swallowing hard as he turned the ignition off. Here we go, Tucker.
The first thing Craig heard as he stepped out of the car was Tweek screaming. He ran to the door, not even knocking as he opened it. The scene inside broke his heart, not only for Tweek, but for his parents. Mary and Richard sat on either end of the couch, their son in between them. Each of them had one of his hands, Tweek's back arching off the couch as he kicked his long legs. If someone were to walk in on the scene not knowing about Tweek's anxiety, it would look like he's possessed. The coffee table had been shoved aside (probably by Richard) so he couldn't kick it. He was screaming at the top of his lungs, his wild blonde hair sticking to his sweaty forehead.
"I want out! I want out! I WANT OUT!" Tweek kept screaming, his legs kicking as he tried to free himself. His head twisted violently, trying to bite at his arms. Craig shut the door behind him, rushing over and quickly grabbing Tweek's legs. He set them down, despite Tweek's protests, leaning his weight onto Tweek's thighs so he couldn't move. He knelt in front of him, wincing as Tweek kept writhing underneath him. "Let me go! Let me go! Don't do this to me! D-don't! Mommy!" He sobbed, falling into complete hysterics. Mary Tweak froze at the sound of her son's voice calling mommy. He never says that anymore. Tweek took that chance to pull his arm loose, biting hard into his arm.
"HEY!" Craig grabbed the arm, practically playing tug of war with Tweek for his arm. "Tweek, fucking let go!" He yelled, Tweek's eyes darting left and right as he tried to focus on something, anything. Craig managed to grab his jaw, using his pinky to tickly lightly at Tweek's neck. Tweek let out a hiss, letting go of his arm. Mary quickly grabbed it again, holding it away from her son. She let out a sob at the bright red bite mark that was now bleeding on her son's arm.
"We-we tried everything the doctors told us to try!" Richard practically sobbed, his face as pale as the kitchen walls.
"How long as he been like this?!"
"All day! Since he walked in the door he-he's just been-"
"Off?" Craig finished Richard's sentence, the man nodding in agreement. Craig bit his lip, letting out a sigh. "Okay…just…let me do what I need to okay?" They both nodded quickly, Tweek panting under Craig's grip.
"Let me go!" he hissed, trying to kick his legs.
"Tweek," He used his grip on Tweek's jaw to force him to look him in the eye. "Tweek, who am I?" Tweek's eyes darted around wildly, finally settling on Craig's face. He swallowed hard, twitching violently underneath him.
"C-Craig! C-Craig!" he shouted, trying to break free.
"Tweek! Tweek-no, look at me!" He forced Tweek to look at him again, this time his other hand brushing the hair off of Tweek's face.
"What do you need?" Tweek whimpered, twitching underneath him again.
"Hot! Air!" he whined, squeezing his eyes shut. Craig looked at Richard and Mary.
"Get his clothes off," Craig took Tweek's shoes off, Richard undoing his belt while Mary worked on his button up and sweater. Once Tweek was stripped to his underwear, Craig looked up, seeing Tweek scratching violently at his wrists. "Tweek no!" He grabbed both of Tweek's wrists, Tweek screaming in protest.
"Stop it! Let me go!"
"I'm not going to because you keep hurting yourself!" He shouted over Tweek, Tweek snapped his head towards him.
"Asshole!"
"Hey, listen, we got your clothes off, okay? What else do you need?" Tweek was borderline hyperventilating, sobs beginning to wrack his body. He kept trying to speak, but the only thing that came out of his mouth was more screaming. Craig reached out and pressed Tweek against the couch cushion, making him look Craig in the eyes. "Tweek, look at me," Tweek's breathing was erratic at this point, his eyes darting wildly around the room still. Craig figured this was the only chance. He started singing.
"Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life…"
Tweek looked at him, his breathing slowing down slightly as he breathed out,
"Y-you were only waiting for this m-moment to arise."
Craig grinned slowly, some progress being made. He continued on.
"Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life…"
Tweek's eyes slowly started closing, his breathing slowly returning to a normal pace as his body relaxed under Craig's grip.
"Y-you were only waiting for this moment to be free."
Craig stroked the hair out of his face as he continued singing, noticing how Tweek's entire demeanor changed as he slowly picked him up.
"Blackbird fly, blackbird fly
into the light of the dark black night."
Craig shot a glance to Mary and Richard, nodding his head towards the steps. Mary rushed up and opened Tweek's bedroom door, Richard following behind Craig.
"Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise,"
He placed Tweek in his bed, noticing how Tweek's body was completely relaxed now.
"You were only waiting for this moment to arise,"
Mary tucked him in as Craig held his hand, placing a gentle kiss to it.
"You were only waiting for this moment to arise."
About fifteen minutes later, Craig slowly made his way downstairs, Mary and Richard holding onto each other for dear life. They stood quickly, Mary throwing her arms around Craig.
"Oh-oh thank you!" She sobbed, gripping at his shirt. Craig just rubbed her back, looking at Richard.
"It-It's no problem, really. He uh…it was never that bad when we were younger. I'm surprised the same tactic still worked." Richard gave him a hug as Mary pulled away.
"We just…we feel so helpless whenever this happens! The doctors always tell us to ignore it, but it-it just doesn't feel right!"
"Because it isn't. You have to talk someone through these anxiety and panic attacks. Otherwise, they could seriously hurt themselves…like Tweek was trying to tonight." Mary flinched next to her husband, her nose scrunching up as she tried not to cry again.
"You…you really c-care for him, don't you?" Richard whispered after a moment, the air in the house still thick with emotion. Craig swallowed hard, nodding.
"More…more than anything." He admitted, looking at his feet. Mary tiled his chin up, brushing her thumb over Craig's jaw.
"He's a very special boy, Craig. Special in so many ways. His skating, his quirks, his-his style…I couldn't imagine a more perfect fit for my baby than you." Craig blushed.
"Why? If-If I may ask?"
"You're nothing like him. He-He needs someone strong. Someone who can keep him grounded. Someone who will listen to him and-and take care of him like you just did."
"I-I can't always be strong." He whispered, swallowing the lump in his throat. Despite the height difference, Mary Tweak managed to pull Craig down so his head rested on her shoulder.
"I know, sweetheart. And that's where Tweek learns that he can be strong, too. By caring for others, I hope he realizes he can care for himself in the same way…I just…I'm worried about him going to school so far away…If something like this happens while he's there…" Craig finally let himself sob, the heat of everything finally settling.
"I-I'm scared, too!" he choked out, gripping at her back. Mary blinked, not expecting Craig Tucker to cry on her shoulder. She rubbed small circles in his back, easing him to sit down on the couch with her.
"Hey, sweetheart, listen to me," She lifted his chin up again, wiping the hot tears that fell from his eyes. "Why are you scared?"
"I-I'm scared he-he'll have an episode like this at school! I'm scared that-that," He swallowed hard, taking a moment to compose himself. "That he'll f-forget about me…and the guys." Mary frowned, brushing the hair off Craig's face.
"Sweetheart, I don't think that's even possible. He adores you boys. Things are definitely going to be different, but I want you to promise me you won't spend every waking moment worrying about Tweek, okay? You've got so much potential to be wonderful, Craig. Both of you do! Hell, all of you boys do! Don't limit yourself by clinging onto him, okay? Maybe you two grow apart, but that's healthy. That's okay! When you two are in the same room again after some time, think of all the stories and-and adventures you can tell each other about!" Craig looked at his hands, nodding slowly.
"Yeah…Yeah y-you're right…sorry about…the crying." He mumbled, tugging at a thread on his jeans.
"Don't you apologize for being emotional again. I don't want you too, okay? In this house, you're more than welcome to cry, yell, scream, hell, I don't care if you yodel!" Craig let out a soft laugh. "You can tell me anything, sweetheart, okay? You're a part of this crazy house now!" Richard clapped a hand on Craig's back, giving his shoulder a squeeze.
"You're practically a Tweak now, whether you like it or not."
Craig had texted his mom, letting her know what had happened and that he'd be a little late for dinner. He went upstairs to check on Tweek, slowly slipping into his room. He was still asleep, Craig quietly walking over and lying next to him after taking his clothes off (Tweek hates the feeling of his skin on other people's clothing). A little bit of light came through the curtains, enough for Craig to see the damage Tweek had done to himself. He frowned as he gently ran a finger over the bright red scratch marks on his forearms, a little bit of blood already drying. There were bite marks too, red and angry as they almost mocked Craig for not getting their sooner. He swallowed hard, pushing back his tears, but Mary's words rung in his head. It's okay to be emotional in this house, sweetheart. Craig couldn't help himself, the tears already falling before he realized what was happening. He let out a sob, clamping his hand over his mouth so he wouldn't wake Tweek. He felt awful. Awful he hadn't gotten there sooner, or don't anything differently. Maybe if he had started singing immediately, Tweek wouldn't look like a survivor of some cat attack. Craig's body shook as he tried not to sob, jumping as Tweek rolled over to look at him.
"Craig?" He whispered, his voice hoarse from screaming. Craig quickly wiped his eyes, sniffling.
"Hey-hey, babe." He choked out, cursing himself as his voice cracked. Tweek blinked, reaching out and touching his ear gently.
"You got…your ears pierced?" Craig blushed, nodding.
"Uh…yeah. Remember that bonding with Tricia thing? She got her cartilage pierced and-and I got my ears pierced." Tweek nodded slowly, swallowing hard.
"I…like it," He murmured, his gaze dropping to his red and marked up arms. He whimpered. "Oh…yeah." He breathed out, closing his eyes. He gasped as Craig started placing gentle kisses to his wrists, pressing them together as he leaned his forehead against his two wrists.
"Please," He breathed out, letting out a soft sob. Tweek's eyes were wide, not used to seeing Craig so…open with his emotions so quickly. "Never…never again," He sobbed, lifting his head up to lock eyes with Tweek. "Don't…hurt yourself." He sobbed, tugging Tweek to his chest. Tweek buried his face into his neck, rubbing circles into Craig's back.
"I…I know…I'm sorry, Craig." He whispered, letting his boyfriend sob until his throat felt raw and he couldn't breathe out his broken nose.
"Just," Craig's voice was raw with emotion. "Call me. Okay? C-Call me anytime you-you start to even feel bad, okay? I-I know I said to call today and-and I didn't answer and I'm so sorry! It-it was busy and-and then Tricia wanted to do this thing and-" Craig gasped as Tweek pressed his lips gently to his, Craig slowly relaxing in Tweek's embrace. Tweek put a hand on his cheek, smiling softly.
"I know, Craig. I know. I'll call you from now on, okay? Even-even the slightest hint of it." Craig let out a sigh of relief, rolling onto his back.
"Okay…okay good." He breathed out, closing his eyes. He covered his eyes with his arms, both crossed across his face. Tweek laid his head on his chest, closing his eyes as well.
"I am sorry…I just…without my meds I just…things get so hard to focus on and-and it gets hard to simply…breathe." Craig dropped his arms, one hand resting on the small of Tweek's back.
"Just know I'm always here to revive you, even when you seem totally lost to the anxiety." Tweek looked up at him, kissing his nose lightly.
"I know. I've known since fourth grade. You've always had my back, and…I think you always will."
NOTE: For those of you who might not know, the song mentioned is called Blackbird by the Beatles and is an absolutely beautiful song! Please give it a listen if you haven't before!