The medical bay on-board the Star Cruiser was abuzz with medics and droids alike. Dozens of bodies tended to the hostages, who were successfully transferred from the AAL on-ground and back to their colony. The entirety of the Resistance didn't leave Lahsbane until each one of the Lahsbee were cleared by the medics. In addition, the body of Brok Grannion was transported back to the colony, with Leia paying personal respects to her friend and ally of many years. Only then, did the Resistance - including Black Squadron - head back to D'Qar.
On the Star Cruiser, Poe stayed with Shay in the med-bay until all her injuries were tended to. In fact, he never left her side, foregoing any medical help at all until she was taken care of first. It seemed they would both be alright; their injuries were mostly internal and would heal quickly. The same could not be said for the sight they both witnessed in the cell together.
When the medical droid had left them, Poe and Shay were finally alone. They sat together on the edge of one of the med-bay's cots in silence. Poe lowered his face to his hands, feeling overwhelming weariness and frustration. He couldn't forgive himself for allowing the death of Grannion, let alone being forced to stand there and watch him die with no way of helping. Thoughts of this failure made him even more tired than he already felt.
Next to him, Shay sat worrying about Poe's state of mind. Though she only knew him a short time, she at least knew how he handled himself after missions that didn't go well. With this in mind, she reached over and gave his knee a gentle squeeze. "You can talk to me, Poe."
He lifted his face from his hands and looked at her. "What can I say?" he replied, his sarcasm twisted with defeat. "Another failed mission."
"We got the prisoners out of there and to safety. They're home now, and it's because of our efforts. Your efforts."
"But I put you in jeopardy" he said, shaking his head. "That's the absolute last thing I wanted."
Shay squeezed his knee harder, causing him to look at her. "I knew there were risks involved on a Resistance mission."
"I promised to keep you safe, Shay."
"You promised not to leave me" she corrected him. "And you didn't. You got me out of there, along with yourself, and you protected me. There's nothing to second-guess here."
Poe wished he could think the way she did, but he held himself responsible for more than she understood. She didn't understand how scared he was when he heard her screams across the wall. She didn't understand how afraid he was that she would be killed; that he would lose someone who he wanted to share so much more with. Death had cheated him out of spending precious time with other people in his life, and he was terrified it was going to happen again with Shay.
He stood up and rubbed the back of his neck, unsure of so much of what he was thinking about. Glancing over, he saw Shay studying him with compassion in her eyes. She stood up from the cot and went to him, wrapping her arms around him from behind.
"It's okay, Poe."
He slid his arms over hers and closed his eyes as he felt her head rest against one of his shoulders. Her touch brought him the comfort he craved, but felt he wasn't worthy of receiving. He wanted to give in and let her sooth his guilt over Grannion's death, but he couldn't.
"I'm sorry" he told Shay, unclasping her hands. Without looking at her, he left the room in search of solitude.
Shay watched Poe leave, but didn't call after him. She wished there was more she could do, but Poe wasn't the type to work on this out loud. While it was frustrating, she didn't know what else to do but let him go.
"Sometimes they just need to stew over it on their own."
Shay turned at the sound of Leia's voice. "General?"
She came forward, nodding towards where Poe had been. "Let me guess: he's blaming himself?"
Shay gave Leia a knowing smile. "And then some."
"I thought so." Leia sat down on the cot with a sigh. "Would you join me?"
"Of course." Shay sat where Poe had been, settling in beside the General. A minute or more passed before Leia spoke.
"I've known Dameron since he was just a boy. He was just as headstrong then as he is now - I hardly think it's possible for him to relax."
Next to her, Shay listened attentively. She tried to picture a younger version of Poe, with a mop of thick hair and large eyes and all that energy. It brought a subtle smile to her face.
"He's a damn good leader…the best one I have" Leia continued. "But he shoulders all the responsibility when he doesn't need to." Her expression was both understanding and sympathetic. "Don't take it personally if he doesn't let you help him with that."
Shay appreciated her words of advice and took them to heart. She understood that General Organa, above possibly anyone else in the Resistance, knew the most about what it was like to be caught up in the emotions of a pilot.
"I heard about what you did on Lahsbane" said Leia. "Scrambling the communications between us and the Squadron." She smiled at her. "That was awfully smart thinking on your part."
"I appreciate that General, but it was Poe's idea." She shrugged. "I just brought it to life."
"But you did so successfully. Without his idea, and your talent to make it happen, you all might still be back there" Leia added with emphasis. "You two make a good team. I think everyone on Black Squadron would agree." She motioned with eyes towards the hallway beyond.
Shay turned partly around to see what Leia was referring to, and much to her surprise: some of the Black Squadron members waited in the hall to see how Shay faired. Their concern for her came as a bit of a surprise, but it brought a smile to her face nonetheless.
As Shay turned in her seat, something shiny caught Leia's eye. She noticed something gleaming between the open folds of Shay's flight fatigues, and when she realized what it was that she saw, it surprised her. It also brought a great amount of happiness.
"It seems as though I was right about you and Dameron…"
Shay returned her gaze as Leia stood. Her dark eyes were shining now, and her smile was growing by the second. She pointed at the chain, still slightly visible on Shay's neck. "Looks like I'm not the only one who thinks you two make a good team."
The chain. Shay clasped her hand around the band that hung against her chest, understanding now what Leia meant. The two women shared a moment of knowledge that passed silently between them. With growing respect for the girl, Leia nodded at her, then took leave.
Wexley was the first in the hall to see Shay emerge. Behind him, the other members of his team gathered around, a chorus of well wishes being extended to Shay as she came forward. Wexley gave her a hearty hug, taking a good long look at her. "How are you feeling?" She no longer appeared as weak as she had when they first rescued her and Dameron, which was a relief to see. Seeing her bright smile solidified his relief.
"I'm feeling much better now" she told them. "Whatever drugs you guys have sure work."
There was subtle laughter, and the worry Black Squadron felt seemed to ease further. Kun stepped forward, her eyes full of regret as she looked to Shay.
"We're so sorry you and Commander Dameron had to endure that."
"You have nothing to feel sorry about" Shay told them sincerely. "Honestly."
Pava reached over and squeezed Shay's arm. "We're just glad you're okay now."
Shay gave an appreciative nod and thanked each of them once more. They turned to leave, but Wexley hung back. He draped one arm over Shay's shoulders and led her to a more private spot in the hall, out of earshot of those nearby.
"Tell me the truth" he said, keeping his voice low. "How are you?"
Shay chuckled. "I'm fine, Wex. They shot me up with something real good. It's like we weren't even…" She trailed off, realizing she didn't want to give voice to the word tortured.
Wexley understood, but his expression remained worried. "And Dameron?"
"You know him better than I do," she told him. "You tell me."
"My guess? He's back in his sleeping quarters, smashing something or punching the wall." There was truth in his words, even though he looked at Shay with a bit of humor. "He'll be alright, though. He'll come to you eventually."
Shay realized then that Wexley knew. The way his eyes centered on hers sympathetically, the tone he used when he said he'll come to you eventually. It wasn't just coincidence. Wex must have known something. Did Poe tell him? Or was it just that obvious?
"I gotta run for now" Wexley told her, taking her into his arms for one more hug. "I'm glad you guys are okay now. If you need anything, you know where to find me."
"Thank you, Temmin" Shay replied.
"And remember what I said" he told her, breaking their embrace. "Dameron will find you. I don't think he can go long without you now."
His smile was genuine when he said this. As he patted her on the shoulder and turned to head back with his squadron, Shay was left alone.
I don't think he can go long without you now.
Shay crossed her fingers that Wexley was right.
Poe hoped a shower would help, but it didn't.
He thought maybe some food would help, but that didn't either.
As the sun slipped behind the horizon beyond D'Qar's Resistance base, Poe lay on his back on his bed staring at the ceiling as light disappeared and left him in a shadow.
BB-8 rolled toward Poe's bed and chirped a string of concerned questions at him. At the very least, his droid's worry for him made him smile.
"How'd you know that's who I'm thinking about?"
BB-8 told him it was obvious.
Poe supposed it was. It wasn't that long ago he was laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking about Shay. He'd been frustrated then for totally different reasons. Now, he felt a horrible sense of loss and emptiness from the mission, but he also felt a need for Shay that hadn't been there before. They went through something together, something horrible, and fear had gripped his heart when she was being hurt in front of him. It made him realize just how vested he was in her and whatever this budding relationship was between them. For as shitty as he felt, he still wished to be with her.
Another series of wheeps and blerps came from BB-8, who now rolled to the foot of the bed. Poe felt his domed body bumping itself repeatedly against the mattress, so he leaned up onto his elbows. "What are you doing?"
Go see her. Go see her. BB-8 kept repeating it over and over and he kept bumping Poe's bed.
"But what if she just wants left alone?" Poe asked his friend. "I already left her when she tried to comfort me…..you know…..like a true asshole."
You can fix it. You can fix it.
The bumping of the bed continued, and Poe shook his head in laughter. "I wish it were that simple" he said, flopping back onto the bed. "She may not even want to see me." As he spoke the words, he knew they were untrue. They were too alike, too in tune with one another, for that to be true and he knew it.
BB-8 also knew it. He quit bumping into the bed, but he kept repeating the words Go see her. Go see her.
Poe lay there weighing his options and his hesitation made him angry. What was there to weigh? Sure, he felt like shit. He probably looked like shit too, he wasn't sure, but none of it mattered. He wanted to see Shay. Before meeting her, he only had himself to deal with after other failed missions; he was so used to handling these emotions on his own that it seemed wrong to do it any other way.
Not this time, he told himself as he pushed off the bed. Whatever time of night it was didn't matter. Whatever happened on the mission didn't matter either. What mattered was that he wanted to be with her. More importantly, he wanted her to know it. He wanted to show her.
"I'll be back" Poe told BB-8 as he went to the door. He hesitated and looked back at the droid. "Or not….maybe. I don't know."
BB-8 did a full spin on his base in praise.
"Right, you get it" Poe said with a grin. "Wish me luck."
Shay lay on her side on her bed, unable to sleep. She watched as rivulets of rain water drew down the window, giving the dark evergreen forest beyond an even more gloomy appearance The sound of rain was a reprieve to the noise of the past few days…but still, Shay could not sleep. She had given Poe the space he needed - the space Leia had told her to give him - but all the while hoped that maybe he would come search for her. She wanted to know how he was feeling. If he was still struggling, she wanted to try and help him. But if it was space that he needed, she would do her best to give it to him. After spending so much time with Poe on Lahsbane, it felt weird and lonely in her room without him.
Little did she know he on his way to find her.
Halfway through the base's sleeping quarters, Poe realized he had no idea where Shay would be stationed. Intent to find her, Poe questioned a few Lieutenants he found still awaken chatting the hours away in the mess hall. Luckily for him, one of them was able to point him in the right direction.
There was no nervousness or apprehension when he arrived at her door like there had been the night before they left for the Lahsbane mission. Right now, all Poe knew was that he needed Shay. He wanted her company, and to feel the comfort he saw whenever he looked into her eyes. He wanted to know that amid all the loss and difficulty of all his missions that he had gained at least one thing.
So when he chanced a knock on her door, he was thankful when Shay answered. There was longing in her gaze as she looked at him, and Poe knew right then that she'd been waiting for him to show up.
No words were spoken as Shay let him in, and locked the door behind. In the dim light of the night, they found solace in one another's arms. Poe clutched Shay's face and his mouth connected with hers, his hands sinking deep into her violet hair. Neither needed to say anything to the other. They were riding the same wavelength again, understanding the other without a single spoken word.
With their mouths and arms entwined, they stumbled back through Shay's quarters until they hit the bed. Blue light streamed through streaks of rain on the window, illuminating their bodies as they removed each other's clothes. As Shay peeled the shirt from Poe's body, she never realized just how sturdy he was. She actually felt angry that what she was currently staring at had been hidden from her all this time; a secret kept beneath the heavy fabric of Poe's usual flight attire. She took the time now to admire every line of every muscle as she sat back on the bed. With Poe standing before her, she unfastened his pants and eased them over his hips. In doing so, her eyes drifted down the broad pane of his abs to where his desire for her was most obvious. What she saw was more than she could have asked for. She didn't even bother trying to hold back her grin as she looked up at him.
Poe could only chuckle at her reaction. She flattered him more than he deserved, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't proud to see her enjoyment. He closed his eyes as Shay's mouth placed light, teasing kisses along his torso as she stood. His hands went instinctively to her hair as their lips found each other once more. He felt the fullness of his desire for Shay grow even more as they felt back onto the bed, her gorgeous body spread out beneath his. Though Poe had never been with a Pantoran woman before, he was already sold: there were no others in his history that looked as stunning as her. She was an exotic beauty, her body a map of lush curves he intended to explore fully. From her soft pastel hair to her large eyes sparkling up at him, even in the low light, he wanted all of it. He wanted all of her; her mind, her humor, her talent, her body, everything.
He climbed on top of Shay, careful of his weight as he pressed himself against her. His mouth worked her neck to the sound of her blissful moans, realizing he wanted to take his time so he could hear more. He wasn't a greedy lover, but he found himself wanting to get every reaction he could from Shay. He wanted her to know the extent of his need for her, which included pleasuring her for as long as it took.
Shay found herself a willing victim to Poe's tongue as he drug it along every sensitive spot on her body. He took her to new levels of pleasure, learning what worked and what didn't and taking obvious pleasure in his discoveries. When she glanced down at him between her thighs, there was a devilish grin waiting for her. His hands, rough and callused, were a delightful contrast to his velvet tongue as he worked her core. She raked her fingers through his thick hair, grabbing onto it as her hips bucked. She moaned. She swore. She called his name. She rode the wave of her orgasm to its fullest height. And then she did the same to him.
Poe's mind was dizzy. The heady taste of Shay's body still on his mouth, he felt her own mouth working his length until his breath came in ragged pants. Her warm mouth was a home he could live in forever, but her skill was too much, even for his level of self-control. Poe held on even though he could feel himself want to empty inside her right here, but he wasn't even close to being done. He didn't care if it took all night and most of the next day: he was going to show Shay just how deep his affection ran for her. Shay must have sensed he was close because she stopped, and Poe opened his eyes to see her blue curves climbing on top of him. And still, no words were exchanged. Poe's hands gripped her hips, but it was all he needed to do. Shay took it from there.
With their eyes locked on one another, Shay opened her body to Poe. His size was substantial, filling her to the point where she had to close her eyes to concentrate. He went slowly, his hands sliding up from her hips to her neck. He pulled her face to his, their foreheads touching but their lips staying a breath apart, as he pushed his entire length into her. Shay moaned, and Poe silenced it with his kiss. As he worked his hips against hers, Shay found a rhythm with him and soon, their bodies moved as one.
Poe never left Shay's room that night. They continued to explore one another through the night, sleeping only to recharge their tired bodies. After their third round, Poe held Shay against his chest. He was exhausted, but he felt more fulfilled than he could ever recall in his life.
After the mission to Lahsbane, no one bothered to come find them in the morning. They stayed in one another's arms, solidifying their feelings with their bodies.