1 year later.
Leighton had spent the summer with a guy named Aaron and Ed was frankly disappointed she hadn't mentioned anything.
"Does this mean our thing is over?" Ed asked her, quietly as he sat on her couch.
"Ed... I don't even know what this is, so we're friends that were sleeping together, maybe it's time to get out there and start dating."
"Is that what you want?" Ed asked
"I don't know. I just met a nice guy and we spent the summer together, that's it. I didn't think there was a conversation to be had, I didn't think it would bother you."
"Oh." Ed shrugged. "That doesn't answer my question..."
"Okay... maybe -yeah. I'd like to try dating again." His heart broke a little inside. Why was she so unattainable, was she scared to admit any feelings for Ed because they were so close, or even worse, did she just not feel the way he does?
xoxo
Ed ended going on a string of hook ups, whatever helped him move on the way Leighton was. He wasn't mad that she was dating Aaron, they meant too much to each other to lose each other over sex and at least they had Chuck and Blair moments, which surprisingly often helped them express their feelings on screen without having to off screen.
xoxo
"Come on, man. When are you going to admit it? You're fucking in love with her."Chace snapped, noticing Ed's different mood lately
"I don't need to admit it. I know she won't give her heart away to just anyone. It's too hard for her. And if I tell her, she'd feel scared that she'd lose our bond and I know she needs me. We can't afford to lose each other."
"So you're best friends, she might actually be in love with you too, you have this weird craving for each other and you also happen to play characters on a show that are intensely in love with each other but you are not going to go for it because she wants to date other people, those other people that she never actually falls for, but rather falls for the idea of them and then you watch her being alone and refusing to let any of them in... Oh and did I forget to mention that you're the only guy she lets in but you're not going to tell her how you feel..."
"Chace, you don't get it. Even if I tell her how I feel it would not fucking change shit."
"Why the fuck not?"
"Because! If I tell her, I lose her... she'll feel bad about not reciprocating my feelings and she'll lose me. I don't want us to grow apart. We're family."
"You gotta tell her... maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow. But you'll hate yourself if you don't."
xoxo
After wrapping up season5. Leighton and Aaron had broken up. Ed showed up at her door the minute she had told him on the phone.
"Pick a movie." She suggested, handing the remote to him after opening Netflix. He stood there, as she waited for him to take the remote, but he didn't take it.
"Okay... I'll pick the damn movie."
"Leighton..." He began
"What?"
He looked into her deep brown eyes and suddenly couldn't say it. The words wouldn't come out. He knew what would happen. He'd say those three words and she'd freak out. Travel away for the summer and maybe their friendship would never recover. Then they'd lose their family. And as much as that would hurt him, he knew that if she lost him, it would be even harder for her to let anyone else in again.
xoxo -The last Gossip Girl year
Ed knew that Leighton was dating Adam Brody. He remained supportive, since she told him over the summer. Maybe it was selfless on his part to let her be happy, but he knew deep down she would find a way to push this guy away too.
One night, she showed up at his house, while Chace was away at his parents for the hiatus. He could tell she had been crying. He had thought Adam had done something.
"What the hell? Did he do something? I'll fucking kill him!"
"No, no... it's nothing like that." She paced around his living room. "It's me.."
"Are you done with this one?" He asked
"I don't deserve him."
"Leight.."
"No, seriously, Ed, he's too good to me. I opened up to him, I told him everything, even... us."
"Seriously?" His eyes widened. Part of him was happy for her overcoming a huge obstacle, the other half of him was scared as hell. Is this it? Has he lost her?
"He's been so great, and I feel terrified. I've never felt like this before. I'm scared to make a wrong move, I'm scared I'll push him away." He had never heard her speak of any of her exes the way she is now.
"What if I never get over you?" She continued, that was the first time Leighton had ever admitted to feeling anything for him, "What if what we have destroys my relationship with Adam."
Then he knew, it was time to do the right thing.
"Leight... I'm madly in love with you..."
"What?"
"Maybe so much so that you don't even have to be in love with me. Adam really loves you, and to be honest this is the first boyfriend you ever really cared about. So as long as I know you're happy, maybe it's time I let you go. At least I know he'll take care of you."
"Ed..."
"It's fine. I love enough for the both of us."
"You're... actually giving me your blessing on this one?" She asked
They held hands as their foreheads touched
"I'll always love you, dearly." She cried
"You're mine." He whispered, kissing her hand.
xoxo
Saying Goodbye to Gossip Girl was saying goodbye to their happily ever after. They made peace with parting because they got to live vicariously through their characters. They weren't acting with Chuck and Blair, you could not fake the love they had for each other on screen. Everything they went through together as Chuck and Blair, they went through in real life. And the only way they found the power to let go of each other was knowing that at least Chuck and Blair got their happy ending, which meant in a way, a part of them did too.