Aryes: Hey guys, I am back with another chapter, I combined the two most popular suggestions, hope you enjoy this chapter, sorry I took so long, college constantly tries to put me in gear for thingsssss~ I hope you enjoy it nonetheless~ I love suggestions for things:)

DISCLAIMER: I DON'T OWN AVENGERS

WARNING: ANGST, MENTAL HURT, SELF CONFIDENCE ISSUES, SWEARING, THE USUAL WARNINGS I GIVE HONESTLY, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

~Enjoy everyone~

Step 6: Can You Find What You Are Searching For?

Tony collapsed onto his bed, the day of being a decoder for Fury was over, and he sagged on the bed, He had finished decoding in 9 hours, the bastard who made the code was an asshole! It was night time and Stark tower work was being done by Pepper tomorrow, without Steve to entertain him, the brunette knew he was gonna be bored tomorrow. He sighed lowly with loud groan into the mattress as he flipped over. His tiredness was close to sleep, but the insomniac in him wasn't letting him sleep just yet. "Jarvis, Is Steve still watching the playlist?" Jarvis was silent before speaking, "Yes, but it appears Captain Rogers is asleep." Tony turned his head to check the clock, it was only 3 in the morning? He expected it to be 6 by now. Guess his mental clock is off, it only took 7 hours or so finish off the code. Tony smiled and asked, "When did Steve get to sleep?"

Jarvis replied in his usual quickness, "an hour ago sir during the movie labelled 'Friday the 13th'" The brunette couldn't help the bubbly laughter that the comment evoked from him, only Steve could fall asleep during a slasher film like that. "His sleep pattern has turned rather hectic sir just now. Data shows Captain Rogers is having a bad time asleep sir," Jarvis said quickly and Tony scowled. What could he do about that? "Turn off movie playlist and put on what would be best to return his levels to normal softly in the room," the billionaire ordered and there was silence that filled the room for a few moments. "Data suggestions show Captain Rogers gets better sleep when there is the sound of waves. Shall I put that on sir?"

The dark skinned man said, "Yeah, do that. Oh and let me know when his sleep pattern regulates. Soundproof both our rooms Jarvis." "Consider it done sir," then Tony heard a clack sound indicating a second layer of sound protection had been added. With that he sat up with a yawn and ran a hand through his hair, only to be met with greasy strands...How long had it been since he got a shower anyway? He sighed and went over to his bathroom and undressed, throwing the clothes that most likely smelled like coffee, machinery, and a bad mix with his cologne. The brunette clutched the counter and leaned to see himself in the mirror, surprised to see just how bad he looked, he had been so preoccupied with talking to Steve he had neglected one crucial part of getting close to the soldier.

He needed to look actually hygienic a bit, his greasy hair shined, his light beard growing too much and over the top, some his skin even dirty around his neck. He felt fully gross now and had no qualms about getting a shower, no matter how damn tired he was. As soon as he got under the hot streams of water he breathed out a sigh of relief, his whole body feeling alive again. He whistled a song that had been in his head all day as he shampooed his hair and remembered that that he had 2 or three days left before he had to fully know the waltz. He had picked most of it up though, he had a general idea and honestly it was pretty fun to dance with Steve...Steve. His mind wandered back to Cap, what had happened this last morning was something straight out of a cheesy drama, but Tony felt hung up on it or rather just Steve. What was his feelings for the blonde? The question this week had been this subject, what was Steve to him now? They had shared personal things and whenever he spent time with the taller man he felt happy.

Even if the man did hit him with a spatula, something that would definitely be something he remembered. Tony honestly giggled at the amount of seriousness in which Steve slapped him with a spatula. Tony reached up to his 'heart' and watched it glow for a moment and remembered Captain saying that he had more heart than anyone...he wanted to disbelieve the words as he did when someone offered him kindness, but Steve was different. His words were always and genuine, they never lied to anyone, did the blonde really hold him to such a high standard? Which then brought him to the most pressing matter of this evening, did Steve want to top or bottom someone? Tony felt his excitement rise as he tried to imagine such a thing, the blonde above him with his hardworking gaze, that softness of his facial features contrasting his hard jaw lines, the concentration to try not to go to hard or rough with his strength.

Oh that was right, Cap had super strength, Tony felt himself shiver as he washed his hair. The dark haired man washed his hair out recalling the strong muscles on the pale man's body when they waltz or rather when he saw him with black widow dancing. The way his muscles shifted beneath his skin with every graceful yet powerful alluring positions. Wait, how flexible was Steve, if he danced then, would he...would he be super flexible? Tony put condition his hair squirting the bottle a bit too hard when the provocative thoughts returned. The warm water tempting him to do something naughty. How long had it been since he actually got off by himself to an image of a person he knew.

His hands were tempted as he cleaned his hair quickly of conditioner, his mind kept going back to all those special moments he remembered, Steve touching his chest, Steve dancing with him, Steve watching movies with him in good nature, the way he had stared at the dance floor when they went out, the tears Steve had cried, the way they connected so deeply to one another, the prank Steve had pulled, their pleasant breakfast banter, all of it was really something happy. He remembered Steve this morning how close they had been, how his prank had gone wrong...but oh so right. His breathing came out labored as he reached his hand down, almost grabbing his dick that ached.

He was about to sully Cap's image and it would be all so good, until Jarvis interrupted, "His patterns have returned to normal sir." The billionaire jumped and was lucky he kept his moth closed or he would have had a mouthful of shower water to cough on, "Jarvis, you are not supposed to interrupt my showers!" The AI waited and said, "You told to notify you as soon as his levels reached normal and the setting you put for the "Do not disturb my damn shower time'" was only for work related things, this is not work related thus I relayed it to you sir." Tony scoffed and said, "Smart ass." The dark skinned man said nothing more as he changed the shower to cold to try and flag down his erection. His thoughts returned to Steve, but they also turned to Pepper. His business runner and the one who also had a crush on him, or at least from what he could see, and before all this happened with learning to dance. He had really thought about him and Pepper, but...

Anytime they got together and fought was horrendous and Tony had not thought about the crush more than that. He liked the idea of Pepper and not being with her, while Steve was...Steve was definitely something he was considering. He felt like he knew a lot about Steve of the past now, but what did current Steve like? He blinked at the white wall and realized that other than anything food related, he knew nothing much about Steve. "Well I'll be damned." The billionaire muttered to himself as he turned off the water and dries himself off. The exhaustion came back full force and Tony said, "Jarvis, please put down find more about current Steve on my to do list." Jarvis responded and Tony couldn't hear what the man said as he saw the clock say 3:30 and without a moments rest he fell into the greatness of sleep that his body now allowed him.

Steve woke to the sound of music, it was the sound of piano, a sad piano accompanied by waves, he jolted upward suddenly, the music stopping, but the sounds of waves were still there. "Good morning Captain Rogers, I hope you enjoyed the waves and music, it appears your dreams are calmer when water is accompanying sleep." The pale avenger was completely quiet, confused as to why Jarvis cared? "Did Tony put you up to this Jarvis?" asked Steve an there was a moment of silence before Jarvis answered, plain as always, "Yes, I am programmed to detect when your emotions run unusual, in fact that is one of my main functions for all Avengers, Mr. Stark told me to try and figure out how to reduce the level back to a normal stasis and based on data previously, water and piano seem to be calming for humans." Steve didn't know how to feel, he felt comforted yet uncomfortable. He sat up and smiled at the sound of another wave and suddenly felt nostalgic.

"Hey Jarvis," Steve started and the AI responded to his name in record time, "yes?" The blonde man smiled and then continued as he went over to his closet, "Would you like to hear a story about why water calms me?" The paler man started to dig through his things and eventually Jarvis answered, "You may tell me if you wish, but I have no feelings on the matter considering I am an AI, Captain Rogers." The Captain smiled as he picked out a pair of black pants he had stored in the back and he sighed, he had a feeling Jarvis would say something like that. "I would like to tell you," Steve goaded more as he went to his closet and looked for a shirt to wear. He saw something hadn't seen for a while, he saw a suit. It was the suit he had gotten for an event for the Avengers, but they didn't actually go through the event, so here was a suit. He snickered and looked over and saw a white t-shirt and put it on, the V-neck clutching too close to his body, so he looked over and got a blue roll up denim jacket. He looked down at his pants and wanted change, but he didn't know what to change into.

"You may tell me if you wish as I have said before fore I am not adverse to listening, it is part of my features," Jarvis said from above knocking Steve from his state of concentration. He looked down at his pants and removed them and sighed. What pair of pants would look good with what he already had chosen? "The yellow ones or the tan ones, they would suit what you have on and your body type Captain Rogers." Steve's ears turned red a bit as he figured out he had said it out loud to himself, and forgot that Jarvis would answer too. He looked down at the yellow pants, they went halfway down his calves and stopped their coverage there, they were khakis. He held them up, they looked more orange in the light and had a white string like a shoelace up the side. The stitching on the Khackis ruffled as he tried them on. He got a shipment of clothes from stores when came to live at Stark tower and he had yet to wear everything, but as he wore them he enjoyed them.

They ruffled around his calves, but were tighter near the top, and they were comfortable as he tried different positions wearing them. They stretched just right and he found them enjoyable. He smiled upward and asked, "What else should I wear with this Jarvis?" The AI took a moment and then said in a neutral voice, adding an accessory that is grey would be suitable and having tennis shoes would be ideal as well, whiter and blue shoes." Steve found a necklace with a dog tag and found nostalgia hit him fast, some guys in the war had these cord was a cheap black material so it was comfortable and he found some bright neon white and blue shoes, his socks were ankle socks. He looked in the mirror and smiled and found it was different from his style, but he still liked it. It showed his body and also hid it, it was something comfortable, but not hindering. He really liked it until Jarvis said, "Sir, you should leave the denim over shirt and get the black vest."

The blonde looked into the closet for the vest and he found it, it have bright gold buttons and the material was matte like and not a deep color. He lifted it high and looked at it in the light, what off piece of clothing, it even had a hood, which would be nice if it rained he guessed. He took of the blue jacket and tried on the vest, buttoning it up to the up and lifting the hood and he saw how drastically it change the outfit, it made him look less like a stereotypical tourist and more like...like a teenager...or a really cool guy in general. He flushed slightly as he unbuttoned the top button or two and pulled the necklace out, and the looked changed fully into a cool looking guy, he pulled the hood down. He looked really cool, he felt a little embarrassed, but nonetheless comfortable.

He kinda...wanted to show off a bit, but breakfast was first. "Jarvis, is Tony up?" Within seconds he had his answer, "Mr. Stark is asleep if that is what you meant." The blonde smiled thoughtfully, but his thoughts drifted into something more serious. His thoughts on avoiding Tony, because Tony had only approached him to learn how to waltz, but after this week...would they still hang out? Would these confusing feelings go away? He shut the dresser a little more firmly, the sound echoing in the room. He had never felt this way, this confused about someone. He had never hated someone and then felt his ideals changed so fast. The way him and Tony were dancing around each other was exciting, like a different dance he had never done, but none the less, it was invigoratingly alluring.

It was terrifying and fun all a the same time. Tony was so...beautiful. Even when he had been angry at the billionaire, he could never have called the man ugly. It would have been a lie if he had, and he would never lie when he knew he shouldn't. The darker skinned man was alluring and he understood especially now why people would fall for his charm even if he was a jerk, it was because he was actually a very attentive jerk. A man who while being a jerk ended up also playing fun games with you, his words weren't lies either, Tony was definitely honest about others...he just wasn't honest about himself. Tony thought he himself was terrible and cruel, but Steve saw someone who actually cared, but the way he showed it was just twisted slightly. Not in a bad way, just not always helpful in a way people found good.

Steve wanted to stay away from Tony for awhile, maybe that would change something, or maybe these feelings he had right now would be easier to decipher...wouldn't they? He breathed in deep, but his fingers twitched as he remembered Tony's breath on his neck only a day before. What had he wanted to say... Steve couldn't even remember what he wanted to say, but he could feel himself being swept away by Tony. Steve sighed as he walked over by the door and pocketed his wallet, he paused for a moment when he remembered when he was at one of the Avenger parties and he had been approached by a woman who loved to dance. She and Steve had spoke about different types of new dancing he hadn't seen, he surprised when the women gave him an explanation, even when drunk, her explanations were very much based on some sort of personal experience clearly from the way she spoke.

"The people who samba Mr. Rogers are often lovely people, so kind and attentive to their partners. They can be powerful though and they are like hurricanes, twirling and twisting in ways that are impressive, but they can overwhelm the people who have to pick after them. The samba is a beautiful dance and while the waltz is like dreaming, the samba is like dreaming of love, going from gentlest touches to the dirtiest dreams of stealing someone away. If you ever try to samba Stevie, Samba is all feelings baby, and it is...a hard dance to master, because it can't ever truly be mastered," She told me this with a giggle caused by the sheer amount of alcohol she drank, nice girl, but she was no lightweight. Point was clear to him though now, the brunette Avenger really was like the Samba in every way. Steve wondered if he could learn samba, maybe he would learn more about the pale billionaire more. Where would he learn it though? Steve walked down the hall to the kitchen, and rifled through the cabinets for food ideas. He paused as he spotted something interesting, he sputtered a bit as he pulled out a box of Corn Flakes, something he actually remembered back when he was a kid, he smiled warmly, at least corn flakes were still around, but he only had them when he had been good for his aunt.

He brought out a bowl for cereal, poured in the cereal then milk. He watched with interest as the cereal floated in milk, he felt like a kid again as he sat down at the bar and had his cereal. It was sweeter than he remembered, but the texture was pretty much the same, when he finished he put up the bowl and then heard Jarvis from above interrupt his rinsing of the bowl, "Tony is awake and coming to the kitchen Captain Rogers." Steve almost dropped the bowl as he rinsed it fast and dried with all the gentleness a rushed man could do. He heard the elevator moving and with speed that was decidedly inhuman, he dashed down the side stair case. The long stairs was too much for Steve so he chose to go to the elevator a floor down and wait till Tony was out, before calling the elevator to take him down and with luck, this worked. He felt nervous as he walked out of the elevator at Stark Tower, people looked at him more than usual and he felt his ears turning a bit red. He pulled out a cellphone and looked at the time, he had forgotten his watch of all things too.

He walked around to bigger stores and asked if their were any dance studios nearby. A lot of the women were helpful in the stores and would point him the direction of one, he eventually found one called "Dance for the Skies." He went into inquire about whether they would teach him about Samba and instantly the women recognized him as Captain America, he flushed a bit as the complimented him, but said they only teach Jive and more traditional American dances, but the women knew a place that taught Samba and Mumbo and all the dances that originated outside the USA. They said they would be happy to contact the studio and give him directions. The pale tale man looked around the studio and saw younger men dancing, men younger than 20 and women younger than 20 as well. The studio looked alive and he watched the younger generation dance ands he recognized they were learning the waltz, he could tell from the positions.

"the waltz huh? " He muttered with a smile, he was surprised when a woman with brown hair answered, "yes, they are getting a practice run of trying different dances so they can concentrate on the one they like the most, it is only a general class for beginners. Do you know the waltz Mr. Rogers?" The blonde Avenger felt a bit flustered by the attention and he sputtered, "Yes, you could definitely say that." The brunette woman smiled gently, she wore grey tights and a black tank top that accentuated her figure, Steve notice that her figure was definitely a figure that danced. "Would you care to help us teach then? The male waltz partner today cancelled yesterday for the whole week and was unable to be here, usually we show the students how the dance is done before we try to get them in the rhythm, to get a feel for how it should look and the rhythm of it matching the positions they will learn. Do you feel confident enough to help us for one dance?"

Steve his heart leap with excitement, but he looked down at his clothes and felt embarrassed, "Well, I don't really have appropriate clothes for this-" The woman chuckled and looked him over and simply said, "Well, we will make an exception for a hero helping us out, only if you want to, of course." Steve looked at the students being taught by a blonde haired women, the floor was there, the wooden floor pristinely shined underneath the light coming through big windows and he twitched a bit when he saw a position he remembered so regularly. "Y-you would really be okay with that?" he asked with some hesitation, he felt confident, but what if their standard of waltz dancing had changed. "I'm hardly a professional, I may be a little different with my waltz than normal, is it still okay?" he added quickly and the woman assured him that he would be fine, her name she said was Tabby. He took off his jacket and said hello to the teenagers, some seemed awed by him or angry at his appearance.

The woman introduced him and the students sat down to watch their dance. His hand holds with her were standard and as he danced with her and felt elation, he also felt odd. He knew he was dancing correctly, in fact she followed his leading like a professional, but compared to when he danced with Tony, it was lacking. Maybe he had gotten used to Tony's measurements, his tallness compared to a normal woman, perhaps it was their body weight difference, but as he danced more he realized it couldn't be that at all. It would have affected his dancing, but he was dancing fine, it just wasn't as fun as it had been with Tony. He looked at Tabby as her body arched backward as he swung them together in their dance, she was doing great. If Tony were there though, the sounds of their dance would be different, his smile would be bright in joy and giving him a look with his brown eyes.

They danced around the room like a blur, not a single missed step and he could hear the kids in awe, but Steve's mind was being rude as it kept making comparisons for him, even when he wished it would stop. If Tony had led him, their heights would factor in, but the strength in Tony's body was close to inhuman. The way Steve felt air rush and would look at Tony when he got a turn right and the way his hands felt callused and sweet in his own hands. the blonde couldn't believe it, he kept thinking about Tony, even when he was dancing, something he had done for so long with so many people. The one thing that helped him when he felt stressed or sad, the billionaire had somehow changed that too. The dance had finished flawlessly, Tabby seemed to enjoy the experience and the kids now all thought he was cool, and the attention was nice. The kids and instructors flattered him and he sunk into himself a bit as they spoke to him .

The amount of embarrassment he felt was immense, but eventually he was able to escape the studio with directions to the Samba studio.

Tony walked into the kitchen, he wore a pair of sweatpants, his mind still somewhat tired, he honestly needed more sleep and for the life of him, his insomnia decided he must wake up now! He hoped that he would see Steve, but the man was nowhere to be seen, "Jarvis, is Cap still sleeping?" The response he got was fast and the AI responded with a simple, "no." Tony raised an eyebrow to the very short answer, but he was very hungry, and he grabbed his corn flakes before he paused. Why was the cereal out? He looked over at the dishes and the dark skinned man raised an eyebrow as he saw no sign of anything being used to cook anything. Did the cap go out to eat? He looked at the room and say no other signs of the cap being there, "Is Cap out today Jarvis?" "Yes sir," Jarvis said and Tony widened his eyes a bit, Steve rarely went out, he guessed it was something important then.

What did that blonde breakfast monster need to get? Where did he go? The tanned man blinked as he realized what he realized what he did last night, he didn't know Cap? He knew his past, he knew the status of his body, but...other than that...He squeezed his eyes and raised his fist, slamming it on the counter with a resounding thump. "Dammit, how am I supposed to get to know him better if he isn't here!?" Tony shouted, but he calmed himself in an instant, he wasn't even mad, just frustrated at himself. He didn't know any of the other avengers much, Steve was extra elusive though. Always deflecting the topic into a lecture, it was almost masterful to the billionaire if he wasn't so frustrated.

"Woah, what are you shouting about this early in the morning?" a voice said and the short billionaire cursed what deity had given him bad luck, because it just walked in the door. "What do you want Barton?" asked Tony as he put his hand to his face and let out a groan of anger as he slid his hand down his face, wishing that Clint would leave on his own accord. The sound of the bar stool next to him guaranteed that it wasn't gonna happen that easily and with a turn of his head he glared as the brunette archer sat next to him with a glass of scotch...this early in the morning though? The tanned man would love to say he didn't care about Clint, but he arched an eyebrow at the silence he was met with as Clint had a sour look on his face as he took another swig of his drink.

"You know what? You aren't half bad drunk, you know what, I think i will drink too," Clint silently handed him the bottle he had brought in as he downed what was in his shot glass, Tony inspecting the bottle with a low whistle. "Bourbon? Well, you brought out some interesting stuff, what's the occasion?" Tony asked with a look to the side, Clint raised his glass as the billionaire filled it. As much as they hated each other, Tony definitely could respect a good drink and a silent one so early in this morning. It was a whim to drink and as he downed the 1st shot, his body protested as always, he exhaled with a bit of gusto. He wiped his mouth and Clint filled his shot glass up again, the liquid pouring with obvious expertise, Tony watched with mirth.

He waited for Clint to answer his question and the other brunette eventually did, "I'm bored and I won't be called in today. I felt like a drink, what about you, what was with all the shouting and shit? Someone not wanting to kiss up to you for once?" The tanned brunette scoffed at the notion and he leaned on an arm and simply whined a bit, because so far, Barton wasn't completely ruining his day already. "I wouldn't say i was yelling, but I just realized, you know, that we really don't know much about Star Spangled other than his morals and his past experience in the field. What does the guy even like anymore?" Tony wondered aloud and Clint raised an eyebrow and commented, "That's what you are yellin g about questioningly, and took the shot in his glass like a champ, done in one go. He then spoke after an initial sour look, "Yeah, I guess you are right. He is kinda shut tight on stuff other than making us breakfast all the time."

They were silent for a moment before the archer asked, "Is Steve here today? He is usually here in the morning." The billionaire pouted slightly at the indication that someone other than him was keeping tabs on Steve, but he pushed the competitive thoughts away since Clint was a stalker of everybody. "No, Captain Rogers is away at the moment," Jarvis answered before Tony and the archer seemed to mull this over and a resounding 'thunk' echoed in the empty room.

"We should snoop around his room," Clint said decisively, the tone of his voice sounding like an ultimatum and Tony coughed as he held down his drink, "What?" The other brunette looked at him with a raised eyebrow and simply said, "What? He won't know and you wanna know more about him and what better way then to see what he values in his room?" Tony paused and looked at the other brunette and saw that there was mischief in the look on his face.

Without another word, they both stood and walked to the elevator, both silent as the doors shut and Tony was silent for a while before saying evenly, "You are evil." To that the other brunette replied casually in the same even tone, "and charming enough to even get, the great Tony Stark, to do his evil bidding with him." There was silence again and Tony added once more, "We're despicable."

This time he got no answer and only a shrug as they left the elevator together, Clint walking ahead and vaguely the billionaire wondered how Clint knew where Steve's room was before blowing that question away, it was a dumb question really. The fact that he knew the password to the room without Tony having to open Steve's door was a little more of general question that was safe to ask, but once again the small man chalked it up to be the spy's ability to information gather. Tony remembered the layout of the room and as they walked in, everything from the furnishing to heating settings had been untouched. Did the blonde even know that setting the temperature was a thing? He mulled this for a moment before Clint whistled, "Man, this room has less personality then a model home."

The room was empty mainly, you would never guess someone lived there except for a little corner of the room that had newspaper clippings, everything else was bland and listless. It was a little shocking, but at the same time it really wasn't, after all, Steve was probably a minimalist in many ways. Clint walked around a bit, looking in closets, Tony smiled when it was revealed that most of the shirts were polos and they gave each other a look of mutual belief. Tony remembered that he had let the blonde borrow one of his shirts (man, did he look good in it too), but he hadn't actually gone into Steve's room. Even though it was 70 degrees Fahrenheit, it felt cold and detached...like Cap felt all the time maybe...gosh he was getting soft wasn't he thinking stupid things like that.

Tony watched as the other brunette darted around the room, making noises of disgruntle, apparently he was in here for a fun time. The billionaire however took his time walking around the room until he reached the personal bathroom. He walked in, expecting it to look like hotel's, stocked and clean. It was somewhat, but as he walked toward the bathtub, he saw a bright color of blue and purple. Curious and briefly wondering whether it was a sex toy, he was less shocked to see some bath bombs. Apparently, Steve seemed to get the memo about some 21st century luxuries, Tony mused quietly, though the archer would eventually make his way to the bathroom. The image of Steve in a colored bubble bath relaxing made his fantasy pile grow larger and he couldn't help the small chill that went up his spine at it. He flicked his eyes to the under part of the sink, expecting it to be filled with toilet paper stocked and a device to shave...if he didn't used an old barber knife that is.

"Hey Stark, found a diary!" Tony heard from the other room and without a thought he raced over to watch as Clint opened a dark blue book engraved in runes, the paper a dark wheat color, looked old, maybe that's why it was Steve's diary though or rather chosen for it? "Well let's start from the beginning shall we~," Clint sing songed a bit, the first entry was short.

My name is Steve Rogers, I have been frozen and must now get used to this new century,

the 21st century to be exact, we used to dream about it, me and Bucky (a friend i grew up with since basically birth)

Fury, the current boss of SHIELD has recommended that I start writing down my thoughts at least once a week for this journal to help me with progress and remembering things. It feels so long since I have written, I apologize if my handwriting is hard to read, but I guess I will start writing in this journal, because it is one of the only things that have stayed the same so far, paper and pencil...or pen I guess, but that has changed as well-"

"Boring," the archer said with a bit of dullness as he flipped forward found a new page with their names on it in bigger lettering, the letters printed neatly and it was oddly beautiful compared to the first one. Apparently, Steve was doodling their names, and as they read through, Steve talked about all of them so positively...well his name though obviously showed more anger, because before they started this...they had been distant. Tony never knew Steve, he only had seen a personality trait of what he was not, and Steve probably saw something more inferior, he had to admit, when they first met, he had been a dick. Not that the blonde had been any better..., but he fet regret slightly, moreover guilt as he read entries of excitement but mainly sad memories from Steve. Things he would state he would never see again and people that he had had interactions with. That his world basically had disappeared in so many ways that it felt worse than if the world had been destroyed.

The Cap had a way with words as they read a paragraph that deepened the regret in the billionaires stomach as he read over Hawkeye's shoulder.

Sometimes I wish the world had been destroyed in my slumber,

perhaps then I would be able to completely leave everything adapt to a new world.

Instead this place can feel like torture,

seeing glances of the past in things that have aged yet in my mind lay fresh.

I become excited at the newness of this world while at the same time it reminds me of how I would have never seen it.

That this world wasn't meant for me,

these small glimpses of the past that I lived, but didn't.

It hurts sometimes,

and other times it brings me joy.

And sometimes to be honest with myself,

I wish I had never resurfaced until my past had been wiped fully away instead of sneak peeks into a world that reminds me that i do not belong.

That this wasn't meant to be my future,

that every dream that i had when i was a child was gone entirely, already done over and over.

How can you dream when everything you ever had is gone.

That is what really hurts,

the futures I ever had were smashed and at the same time...

I am like a child,

a child who is unable to learn new things when the old still linger.

I hate how slow I am at learning,

How some letters and fonts are unreadable to me.

I think something is wrong with me though,

because I will look at people and see others.

Natasha looks so much like Peggy and Clint looks like Bucky when he was younger.

Acts like him too...

and of course Tony looks like Howard...

I am learning to detach them all, it's barely there now,

but,

now I am starting to forgot them instead.

"Shit, I am done, that's...just...we shouldn't have done this," Clint said, shutting the diary with a disturbed look. That passage had been from 4 months ago, the short brunette wondered if Steve had written anything in in the last week. Oh no, now his curiosity was rearing its ugly head urging him to read it, but NO! He had to resist, he can break privacy, but there was a limit to how much he was willing to break to sate the monster in his head when it came to others. He had morals...to a degree. "I'm going back downstairs to drink, there's nothing fun here," that was all the other said before wandering out the door with a sigh. Tony thought about following before he saw a color flash from the corner of the closet, an unnatural white.

He looked down the hall, watching as Clint turned a corner t go back down, obviously not curious about his new findings...not that Tony actually planned to share what he was going to investigate. He had thought there was only polos here, but obviously he was wrong when he looked to the right and saw the unnatural white of the wall, the saw a grey latch hidden in the corner of the wall...as this already in this room? It was tall and went up to his size, Hawk eye probably missed the latch, because him noticing the wall color was coincidental. He unlocked the door getting a small chill of joy, but a twinge of fear...What was in this little door closet thing? Was there murder weapons!? Tony let himself smile and snort a little laugh to himself, yeah right like Steve could kill people calculatedly if it wasn't for the sake of someone, but it begged the question still.

He breathed in and hoped something wouldn't jump out, "Jarvis what is this little hatchet and is this a dangerous place to be?" There was silence then, "Mr. Rogers refers to that room as 'nothing, so i have no label for it, but I assume it is an art studio since Captain Rogers often leaves with paint on him sir. The room isn't life threatening based on the fact that Captain Rogers comes out with paint on him." The brunette froze and touched the door and heard the AI actually groan in a scolding way "sir", but Tony didn't listen. The door creaked open and Tony paused entirely at the sight. The room was narrow and small, like a elongated closet, they had arched decorative steps in the corner. Paint can s of all colors sitting on those steps, paintbrushes all organized beside them and in the middle before the steps began was a canvas. A white canvas on it's tall stand near a stool, and finished painting all around the back of the walls covered in stacks against the back. It was organized and surprisingly spacious looking because of Steve's habit.

He walked into the room which just looked odd, when had Steve built this into his home? Actually, how had he done it and he himself not know of it? He felt miffed as he walked into the room and walked up to the covered canvases, wondering briefly what Steve could be painting and if the blonde was any good at painting. He pulled out the covering and he gasped at it...because it looked like a picture, the realistic looking lines. The picture was of Natasha eating a sandwich on the bench, snow covering the ground and the view seemed to be from above. Tony wondered how he even got to take a picture.

He put the covering back and looked over at the other rows and chose another front one, deciding that he had some morals, plus he might mess a canvas up if he goes searching through them nilly willy. Steve would definitely know he was here, the man could always tell things like that easily. He was paranoid probably, but then again war probably did that to people. He pulled back another covering and looked at a picture of Hawkeye this time, Tony actually remembering the event, Hawkeye was sitting at a bar with Fury laughing as the other man looked stoically at where the picture would be taken at, Fury's one eye practically glaring into your soul. The fact that Tony got the crawling feeling on his back meant it was just that realistic. The suit that Hawkeye wore in it was one he complained about at the night of that party.

He switched to another canvas in a different row, this one had Thor this time. The crazy blonde finally napping after what probably had been a long day. his blonde hair fanned out on a couch and he looked at peace which was odd considering how often he was not. He may be laid back, but peaceful is the last word used to describe Thor. He moved on and wondered if every avenger had a stack of pictures and they were in lines based on it, or maybe it was coincidence. The next one was banner who was working at a desk, his hands touching metal and wire and you could practically see the line between mad and frustration on his face. Banner's concentration bordering on insane looking, though Tony had noticed such a thing.

The last stack was smaller than the others and he scoffed, having a small hope and vague idea it was him. "That was his latest one," Jarvis's voice scared the hell out of him that he jumped, "Geez, okay, timing Jarvis buddy, we worked on this. Don't go scaring papa like that!" "papa?" asked Jarvis and Tony ignored his own slip of tongue, darn sentiments and stress making him say stupid things to his super computer. He uncovered the last stack, the front of it anyway and felt his heart leap. It was him, laying and watching the movie that night 2 nights ago, his tank top humming blue and white light and a smile on his face. He touched his own face, wondering briefly how correct he got his facial features, but based on what he could see from the others...Steve was right on the money on him. He couldn't help but admire the picture, so many emotions welled up in him, pride in Steve, self satisfaction, there were emotions he didn't know existed.

He remembered it, the way Steve looked in the doorway, looking defenseless but stubborn. In that moment, if Hawkeye hadn't interrupted them, where would they have ended up? Would Tony have bedded the other just like that? His face almost burned at the thought as he realized something important, the question of what would have happened after that? They were coworkers, heroes and one was a playboy, the other was the face of pure justice and pride for America. The public would find out if they ever had a relationship, Tony knew the power of the paparazzi too well, and Captain wouldn't be able to handle it. It would be too much for the star spangled man, he had already suffered so much. He looked at the picture of himself, touching the paint gently, afraid to ruin the picture.

He couldn't do that to Cap, even if he wanted him so desperately. It was probably just lust, just like it always was for him and it would hurt people this time if he wasn't careful. Did he even want a relationship with Cap, could he, a playboy philathropist billionaire, really be with someone like Cap who was everything he wasn't He stood up from the crouch he had taken and sighed, he needed to stay away from Steve for now, he already knew how to waltz pretty well already and today the blonde seemed to be avoiding him anyway. They had two more days before the party, he just needed to stay busy and practice for the day. That way he could dance with Pepper and prove that he could dance the waltz and then...then he wouldn't have to speak to Cap until he was ready. There would be no reason to see each other, and with that thought he left the room looking untouched and worked in his lab all day, falling asleep at 1 in the morning with his plan engrained in him.

Aryes: Ah, the end is coming soon, i tried to combine people's suggestions, hope you guys are still reading this story, it holds all my college angst! mwhahahahahahahaha! XD

SO HERE IS YOUR QUESTION GUYS...

WHAT HAPPENED AT THE END OF STEVE'S DAY~? What happened at the end of Steve's day, i'll leave you wondering and guesses~~~~

Till next time, thanks for reading,

Sincerely Aryes~