Since I got no questions so far about MPREG I decided it was time for the next chapter so here you go.
Chapter 6
Two weeks after Bilbo and Thorin had completed the Rite of Apology and barmy looking Wizard riding a sleigh pulled by eight, two-foot high rabbits burst into Rivendell yelling about thieves and murder, the Company had to sneak out while Gandalf distracted something called the White Council. Bilbo trudged along at the back of the Company, Thorin, King Thorin, Bilbo chastised himself, had already told Bilbo to keep up once. He seemed to be in really foul mood, one would think with King Thorin's deep-seated dislike of Elves that he would be glad to leave Rivendell.
"Halfling, keep up!" King Thorin called from the front of the Company, it seemed that Bilbo was to be King Thorin's outlet for his frustrations.
"If he calls me 'Halfling' one more time I swear I will break his nose again!" Bilbo muttered to himself.
"What do you mean?" Ori asked next to Bilbo, evidently he had heard the comment meant for only Bilbo's ears.
Bilbo sighed, "It is a grave insult for my people to be called 'Halfling'," Bilbo practically spat the word out.
"Why?" Ori asked, "I thought it was just another name for your species."
Bilbo laughed bitterly, "No my dear Ori, that…name, is the reason Hobbits are no longer under the jurisdiction of the King of Arthedain. It is said that the King took a Hobbit lass to his bed and when he discovered that male and female Hobbits have essentially the same parts he was disgusted and threw her out of his bed chamber, now this was no average lass but the daughter of the leader of the Hobbits, the one who became the first Thain. The King of Arthedain declared that Hobbits had no place in his kingdom and were no longer under his protection, he named us a half-race, 'Halflings' not worthy of the protection of men."
"What do you mean, 'essentially the same parts'?" Oin called from further up the line.
Bilbo looked up and realised that all of the Dwarves were listening as they walked along, "I mean that the Green Lady gifted our females with the ability to sire children."
"They have um… that is to s-say…" Ori stuttered next to him.
"Have a penis and testicles, yes." Bilbo could tell that the Dwarves were all quite confused, Bilbo sighed, "I'm going to have to tell you all about it aren't I?"
"I assure you laddie my interest is purely academic." Oin called from further up the line.
"When we make camp if you're still interested come and find me." Bilbo called up the line and ignored any and all questions for the remainder of the trek.
"First watch will be Master Baggins, Oin and Ori. Nori, Dori and Glóin will have second watch and Dwalin, Myself and Balin will have final watch," King Thorin announced after the evening meal.
Oin and Ori plopped down on either side of Bilbo at the edge of the camp as everyone retired to their bedrolls. "Right Laddie, can you explain how a female can sire a child?"
Bilbo sighed, "Alright, Hobbits are unique among the known species of Middle-Earth. We all, male and female, have the ability to both sire and bare children."
"Wait, wait. How does that work?" Oin asked. "It is impossible for a male to carry a child."
Ori was writing down everything that was said, but looked up at this with a furrow between his brows, "Ori, may I borrow some parchment and a quill?" Bilbo asked. When he had the materials Bilbo drew a diagram of the side view of the inside of a Hobbit female and male. Bilbo held it out so both Darrows could see it. "Notice," he said pointing at the female, "That she has a smaller penis and testicles than him and he has near non-existent breasts. In the male the breasts only swell at the very end of pregnancy and only when the babe needs feeding."
"How does the babe come out?" Oin asked looking closely at the picture.
"Well, do you see the angle of the birth canal, on both? See how it's at the opposite angle than most species, in Hobbits the birth canal attaches to the rectum."
"But the anus doesn't stretch far enough!" Oin exclaimed, causing the whole company to stare at them oddly.
"Hobbits have a fold, Oin," Bilbo said soothingly, "We call it the Birthing Fold it opens in the last two weeks of pregnancy and doubles the stretching capability of the anus and rectum."
"And all Hobbits give birth thusly?" Oin asked curiously.
"Yes, it all works quite well why my Grandmother on my Mother's side gave birth to twelve children."
"Twelve," Ori gasped, "That is extraordinary, the Darrowdam with the record of the most births is Bombur's wife, she has birthed six children so far."
"That is about average in the Shire," Bilbo replied.
Ten days into the trek across the Misty Mountains, Bilbo became curious, "I heard once that Dwarves love to sing, is this true?" He asked the group in general as they continued along the small path.
"Sure we do," Bofur replied from half way up the line.
"Will you sing of Erebor for me?" Bilbo asked. "I would like to know more about your home."
The Company was quiet for a few seconds before King Thorin began to hum and tune than vibrated in Bilbo's chest.
Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away ere break of day
To seek the pale enchanted gold.
The dwarves of yore made mighty spells,
While hammers fell like ringing bells
In places deep, where dark things sleep,
In hollow halls beneath the fells.
For ancient king and elvish lord
There many a gleaming golden hoard
They shaped and wrought, and light they caught
To hide in gems on hilt of sword.
On silver necklaces they strung
The flowering stars, on crowns they hung
The dragon-fire, in twisted wire
They meshed the light of moon and sun.
Far over the misty mountains cold
To dungeons deep and caverns old
We must away, ere break of day,
To claim our long-forgotten gold.
Goblets they carved there for themselves
And harps of gold; where no man delves
There lay they long, and many a song
Was sung unheard by men or elves.
The pines were roaring on the height,
The winds were moaning in the night.
The fire was red, it flaming spread;
The trees like torches blazed with light.
The bells were ringing in the dale
And men they looked up with faces pale;
The dragon's ire more fierce than fire
Laid low their towers and houses frail.
The mountain smoked beneath the moon;
The dwarves they heard the tramp of doom.
They fled their hall to dying fall
Beneath his feet, beneath the moon.
Far over the misty mountains grim
To dungeons deep and caverns dim
We must away, ere break of day,
To win our harps and gold from him!
The mood was sombre but Bilbo smiled, "That was a beautiful song."
"Do you sing Aunty Bilbo?" Kíli asked from his position three people ahead of Bilbo.
"Yes, as much as any other Hobbit."
"Sing for us, please?" Fíli asked. "Sing of the Shire."
"I could do that I suppose. There is once I quite enjoy singing, it is in Common and is called'My Land'."
"I would appreciate hearing it, Master Baggins," King Thorin called from the head of the party."
"Just for you then King Thorin," Bilbo replied with a smirk.
How green are your valleys, how blue your great skies,
Your mountains stand tall in their glory:
Your rivers run free - the bright stars are your eyes,
Your beauty is endless before me.
Oh, you are the song ever singing in me,
And you are the heart ever true:
For, you are my land and you always will be,
The voice ever calling me… home to you.
When times we are far from your forests and streams,
When sailing from your shining waters:
We carry your hopes - your spirit, your dreams-
In the hearts of your sons and your daughters.
Oh, you are the song ever singing in me,
And you are the heart ever true:
For, you are my land and you always will be,
The voice ever calling me… home to you.
When to your green valleys someday I return,
When you lay your mantle around me:
At rest I will be where the heart will not yearn,
With my land to ever…surround me.
Oh, you are the song ever singing in me,
And you are the heart ever true:
For, you are my land and you always will be,
The voice ever calling me… home to you.
The voice ever calling me…home to you.
"That was lovely," Ori complimented.
"Thank you it is one of my favourites," Bilbo replied, "My mother used to sing it whenever we left the Shire."
The journey across the Misty Mountains was much the same, until nearly twenty days after leaving Rivendell the Company was hit with a tremendous thunder storm, they continued on as Dwarves are wont to do until they were almost hit by a flying bolder. When they looked up they all saw Giants made of the Mountains locked in what appeared to either be a great battle or a rather rough game, some, like Bofur, were entranced enough to try and get closer and almost fell. The Company hunkered down and waited out the battle/game/thing until suddenly their perch began to move, and between Fíli and Kíli the ledge split and that was when everyone realise that they were standing on a Giant's knees. Bilbo gripped the stone behind him the half of the ledge he was standing on sped past the rest of the Company and slammed into the cliff face. Bilbo felt the stone beneath his feet begin to give way as the others all stood. Bilbo fell but managed to grab onto a small out cropping a few metres down the cliff, Bilbo began hauling himself up and saw the Company watching him climb up the cliff face he was almost to the top when his hand hold gave way and he began to fall, but a hand shot out and grabbed his wrist, Bilbo tightened his hold on the extended hand and looked up into the pale worried eyes of the Dwarven King. King Thorin pulled Bilbo up and pulled him along as Dwalin called out that he had found a cave.
As everyone filled inside Bilbo pulled the King aside, "Thank you for saving me," Bilbo said with a soft smile, "I owe you my life."
"You owe me nothing," The King said gruffly, "I am glad you are safe."
"Still," Bilbo said placing a hand on King Thorin's arm, "If there is anything I can do for you just ask."
King Thorin looked at his feet, "There is one thing you could do for me. Please call me 'Thorin'."
Bilbo smiled and lifted King Thorin's, Thorin's, face with his fingertips (a small part of his brain marvelled at the softness of Thorin's beard), "Only if you call me 'Bilbo'," he replied. Thorin's shoulders relaxed slightly, "I have been waiting for your permission to use just your first name for a while now," Bilbo continued.
Thorin smiled and Bilbo felt his heart throb almost painfully in his chest, maybe it was because he never used it but Bilbo thought that Thorin had the most beautiful smile he had ever seen.
That evening as the Company slept, Bilbo laid awake and listened to the storm, Thorin had smiled at him! And by the Goddess didn't that just make him sound like a lovesick teen, but that was basically how Bilbo felt, Bilbo rolled over and tried to sleep but the little sword that he had gotten from the Troll horde caught his eye, it was glowing slightly. Bilbo grabbed his pack and the Elvish sword and began to rouse the Company, including Bofur who was dozing instead of keeping watch but before they could wake fully the floor fell in and they all slid down a long tunnel, Bilbo was in the middle of the Company and ended up landing on top of Thorin but before either had a chance to get flustered Dwalin landed on top of them and then Bombur on top of everyone. Soon the company was attacked by a party of Goblins and Bilbo hid himself and Thorin, whom he still had a tight grip on. Thorin looked around in bewilderment, the Goblins were not touching them. Bilbo tugged gently on Thorin's arm, when he had the Dwarf's attention Bilbo pressed a finger to his lips. When the last of the Goblin's had passed with the Company, Bilbo drew one of his Katanas and started to walk in the direction the Goblins had taken their companions. Thorin followed behind as quietly as a Dwarf could but it was not good, a Goblin jumped out and knocked Bilbo backwards, Bilbo teetered on the edge of the bridge, he looked at Thorin, "Save them," he said as he fell.