Chapter 6 –

Marshall Lee woke with a gasp, his eyes ripping themselves open in the dead of night, taking deep breaths as though he had been tossed into a river. He quickly shot up and grunted loudly as his head collided with something solid, sending him back to the floor. He looked up and saw through blurry eyes that he had passed out in his bathroom, more specifically underneath his sink. Marshall raised a hand to the pained spot on his head, letting out a sigh as he touched the sensitive spot. Marshall glanced down at his arm and his breath hitched. He moved his arm out in front of his face, taking a moment to glance down at the consequences of his actions. His other hand reached over, fingers lightly tracing over the semi-sealed marks that now adorned his upper arm, like red reminders of the things he felt underneath his nonchalant exterior. He paused for a moment to gather his strength before finally forcing himself up onto his feet, wincing as pain shot down his arms.

Finally rising with a bit of a struggle, Marshall gripped the sink and looked at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were puffy and red; his hair was a mess, and tear paths still marked his cheeks. Sometimes I wish I didn't have a reflection. Marshall thought to himself. He grabbed a hand towel from a small silver towel rack by the shower, dousing it with some water before lightly scrubbing his face. He washed away the marks on his face and hesitantly moved down to his wrists. The trails of blood that had hardened down his arm gave the illusion of long, deep rifts having been dug, but as Marshall Lee removed them, he could see that what he had done to himself hadn't been as bad as he had previously believed. His long fingers were once again drawn to feel the marks, inspecting the familiar texture of the clotting blood. He took the small towel and gingerly focused each new cut individually, making sure to wash each one thoroughly. When he finally finished, he looked back in the mirror one final time before turning to the shower.

After finally cleaning himself up, Marshall went back into his room to put on some fresh clothes. His movements were slow and sluggish, as if something were merely possessing him to fix himself up against his will. After throwing on some pants and a new flannel, Marshall flung himself down onto his bed. He didn't want to be up; more specifically, he didn't want to be alone with his thoughts. He knew what they could do to him, how his mind could be warped by the things around him. The more Marshall thought, the more memories of the night before began popping into his head. Marshall Lee tossed and turned in his bed, vocalizing out loud that he wanted these thoughts to STOP, that he wanted everything to go away. He cried for release in a weakened voice. He wanted numbness again; he wanted to stop feeling all together. The longer this went on, the more broken Marshall began to feel. Soon his light sobs turned into bitter laughs, new thoughts dawning on him in his weakness.

"It's sad that all of this feels so familiar," Marshall whispered to himself. He turned over once more in his bed before shutting his eyes, the voices in his head beginning to silence themselves.

~.~

The ringing of a doorbell was what finally roused Marshall from his slumber, eliciting a long groan from under the safety of his blankets. He chose to ignore it however, knowing that he was in no state to even bother trying to interact with people. He couldn't even deal with himself at this point, trying his damndest to block out everything around him. The ringing continued, the loud and constant sound throbbing in Marshall's head. After a moment of silence he heard his front door slam closed. Wait… Did someone just come inside? What if it's Ashley? Marshall's mind started racing. He was in no way prepared for any of this. He threw off his blankets and frantically jumped off of his bed. He quickly stumbled over to his bedroom door and threw it closed right as an unknown figure had reached him, locking it and sitting against it in sheer fear of who might be on the other side. Marshall's breathing had increased rapidly and his hands were trembling lightly. He ran a shaken hand through his hair and dry swallowed, trying to think of a way out of this confrontation. He was soon taken from his frantic thoughts as a knock and a voice came from the other side of the door.

"Marshall? Are you okay?" she asked. "You weren't at school today."

School? Shit what time is it? I don't have my phone and- wait. That's Fionna! After quickly standing and composing himself as best as he could, Marshall Lee stood up and opened the door for his neighbor. Standing there in the frame was the familiar sight of Fionna, clad in clashing shades of blue and that weird bunny hat plopped haphazardly on her head. She looked to him with a smile that soon turned into a concerned frown.

"Why weren't you at school today?"

"I-uh. I was, AM sick. I-I must've caught something the other day during the rain," Marshall stuttered out unconvincingly, adding a terribly imitated cough at the end in hopes of sealing the deal.

"You're full of it Marshy. What happened to you? Your place is a mess, stuff's knocked over, there's broken glass in your kitchen," Fionna's look of worry deepened as Marshall shifted uneasily in the doorway.

"Let's go talk downstairs or something," Marshal finally said, glancing down the stairs. Fionna stepped back, allowing Marshall to take the lead as the two made their way back to the living room space they had shared the day before.

Marshall hesitated a moment before carefully settling himself into the couch where the previous night's events had transpired, recollection flashing in his eyes. Fionna was eying him with suspicion, but decided to allow Marshall to speak first. The two sat in an awkward silence for what seemed like an eternity before Fionna decided to break the ice.

"What happened here Marshall?" She asked quietly, allowing concern to adorn her words. She continued to try and capture Marshall Lee's gaze unsuccessfully, as the boy kept his eyes on the floor, his hair covering up his expression.

"I… was just a little sick, that's all," Marshall looked up at Fionna, attempting to give a reassuring smile. However, Fionna was much more perceptive than he gave her credit for, and pierced his gaze with a harsh stare of her own.

"There's no need to lie to me Marshall. I really am concerned for you. Can't you see that?" Fionna's gaze softened, but Marshall was determined to keep Fionna in the dark.

"Fionna, I told you already; I got sick. I was feeling weak and had trouble keeping my balance. Don't you think I can take care of myself?" Marshall spoke quickly, acting much more brash then he knew he should've. But he couldn't involve Fionna in his situation. So he retaliated the only way he knew how.

"I do, but when you show up to school without saying anything it makes everyone worry! You didn't tell anyone where you were and I still don't know enough people in the school. You left me all alone!" Marshall once again met her gaze, noting the pain she conveyed through her sapphire eyes. It's true; I did leave her alone didn't I. Shit…

"I'm sorry I left you alone Fionna, but you could've always gone to Marceline. You're her friend, and she likes you."

"I tried but she spent all of lunch sucking face with her Pepto-Bismol girlfriend! Look Marshall the point of this is that you ought to have been a bit more considerate. And you still haven't told me what actually happened here!" Fionna was becoming angrier by the second. Marshall's thoughts began to cloud again; memories of the past surfacing once again in his already wounded head.

"I don't need to take these accusations from you Fi! I told you what happened and you can either take what I've said or get the fuck out of my house!" The moment these words escaped his lips, Marshall immediately felt regret. The look of pain that crossed her face stung Marshall deeply. He wished he could take it back, but he was too deep. He was coping with everything the only way he really knew how; by pushing everyone away and bottling up his issues.

"I just want to help you…" Fionna uttered in a hushed tone. Marshall simply looked down at his hands as she slowly walked to his front door. She turned around once more, looking at Marshall's doubled over form before turning and walking out. Though she couldn't see it, Marshall's cheeks were once again stained with tears, his eyes stinging as drops fell against his open palms. Marshall slowly cupped his face with his hands, allowing silent sobs to take hold. This isn't how I want to be. Why can't I face anyone? Why does she still hold me back? The voices in Marshall's head began whispering evil to him yet again, growing louder and louder with every word uttered.

"Ugly."

"Worthless."

"Waste."

"You can never love."

"NEVER love."

"You're MINE, Marshall."

Marshall lay down on the couch, losing control of his thoughts as they spiraled again into Ashley's decrepit, mangled demon form. Her white hair grew shaggy and the skin slowly melted off of her face, revealing a half-grinning skull underneath to plague Marshall's thoughts. Marshall cried out weakly for help as he drifted out of consciousness.

"Marceline."

"Mom."

"Dad…"

"Fionna…"