As the weeks and months went by, it became a regular habit for Amy to visit websites and online communities dealing with pregnancy, parenthood, family and babies. She loved to skim through the discussion threads in the online forums where people shared their stories about how they found out that they were pregnant, how they told their partners, and what a live changing experience giving birth had been. Amy loved to imagine how she was staring at a pregnancy test, waiting for the second line to appear, and then, when she wouldn't expect it anymore, it would start to manifest itself slowly. In her daydreams, she saw herself jump up and down, dancing, crying for joy, running to Sheldon, jumping on his arms and he would spin her around full of happiness, kiss her and tell her how much he couldn't wait for them to become a family.

She also had told Bernadette and Penny about their plans to get pregnant and they supported her the best way they could. Since she wasn't on birth control anymore, her menstrual cycle had become very irregular again and she had to wear the protection again every day to avoid unpleasant surprises (but at least the tampons didn't hurt that much anymore as they did at virgin times). So, every girls' night they had, started with Amy having a pregnancy test, just to be sure she really wasn't pregnant before they started drinking wine. But Amy wished eagerly there would come they day when she would raise her glass because of happiness and not out of frustration. The nonalcoholic bottle of champagne had been waiting in the fridge patiently for a while now.

One day in early spring, it was still quite chilly outside and Amy did not only suffer from spring fever but also seemed to have caught a cold, they had dinner with the gang. Chinese Takeout, one of Amy's favorites.

In Penny's and Leonard's living room everyone was chatting happily, making jokes and stuffing the food inside. But somehow, Amy couldn't enjoy it. She had thought that a meeting with her friends would cheer her up, but instead they all annoyed her. Bernadette annoyed her with her fertility, Penny annoyed her with her beauty (really, how could she eat so much and stay so thin?), Raj was annoying because he was smelling like the whole perfumery department of a store… hell, they all better had stayed at home, including herself! And on top, the food that she normally liked so much, tasted terrible this time! What was suddenly wrong with that chef of the restaurant?

"Ames, some wine?" Penny asked friendly and a little concerned about Amy's mood.

Wine. How was it possible she ever had liked wine? Sheldon was right. Grapejuice that burnes. Ugh! Disgusting!

„No, thanks!" She replied

„Are you sure? It could cheer you up. And you said you aren't pregnant yet."

"I SAID, I DON'T WANT WINE!" Amy yelled suddenly. Everyone looked at her in shock. She felt ashamed immediately. "I'm sorry, I don't know what's wrong with me today. I'm just so tired and I feel ill and how is it possible you all like the food so much? It tastes awful today! I guess, I'll just go home and sleep a bit!"

"I'll come with you and make you a tea" Sheldon suggested.

They both got up and left for their apartment.

"What's wrong with her?" Howard asked, when Amy and Sheldon had gone through the door. Bernadette just smiled at him with a cryptic expression on her face.

"Peppermint for my little Lady…"

"I don't want any tea right know, Sheldon. I feel sick, something in that Chinese food must have been really spoiled."

"Ok… Amy, listen, maybe it would be a good idea to try one of these…" He went to his satchel and took out a little package. "You know, recently you feel tired, ill, sick, you don't like your favorite food anymore, you're capricious. Don't you think you could be pregnant in the end?"

He gave her the little package. It was a digital pregnancy test.

"Sheldon, a woman can feel it when she's pregnant, everyone on the internet says it. And I don't feel pregnant at all, I just feel sick. And I have eaten very bad food which makes it worse."

"Everyone ate the food, Amy. It was delicious as always."

"I don't think so. It has caused problems to my stomach."

"Amy, please, just do this test. And afterwards we'll see how to go on, ok?"

Amy looked at him annoyed. "Ok, but I can tell you, I am NOT pregnant!"

Peeing on that thing without soiling the hands wasn't that easy. But in the end she was successful. Amy sighed and put the test on the shelf above the sink. How ridiculous. She had made many pregnancy tests before and she never had been pregnant, although sometimes she had had a really good feeling. Why, of all, should it be different today, when she didn't feel pregnant at all? She splashed water into her face and cleaned her teeth. It didn't help to make her feel better. She grabbed the pregnancy test in order to throw it into the trash before she would go to bed. Only by chance she shot a short glance on it. Pregnant. Amy stopped all her movements. Then, slowly, she held the test closer to her face. Pregnant. There it was written, black on a little grey display, no two possibly confusing lines, just one word. Pregnant. No. No, that wasn't possible. That wasn't how pregnancy felt. She was ill, wasn't she? A cold, probably, and a sick stomach… But… on the other hand… it was standing there and those tests were really accurate nowadays… She breathed in and out deeply. So, this was the moment she had been waiting for so long. She was pregnant. She was pregnant! A tiny smile appeared on her face, but then immediately she began to worry. Was this really what they wanted? Had they really made the right decision? What if they became awful parents? There was no way back now… Amy felt even worse now. Shivering she sneaked back into the living room where Sheldon was waiting for her. She could see how nervous he was.

"And…?"

She breathed in deeply. „You were right. I'm pregnant! But… but I'm so confused right now … I don't know…"

„Pregnant. That's good news, Amy." He hugged her briefly and then excused himself. "I have to do something. I'll be back soon." Having said that, he disappeared through the front door of their apartment.

Amy stood there, not sure what she was feeling or thinking. Her body felt awful, a little part of her felt joy, another one felt fear and overall, there was just a lot of confusion. And what about Sheldon? Why did he disappear so suddenly?

This was not how she had imagined it at all. Where was the overwhelming joy, the jumping and dancing, the tears of happiness? This all felt so wrong somehow.

She needed to talk to somebody. Penny was there right across the hall. Amy didn't think another second, just opened the door, marched across the hall and opened the door to the other apartment. Her bestie was standing there in the kitchen, cleaning some dishes. Leonard wasn't around.

"I'm pregnant". She just blurted it out.

Penny let the dishes fall into the sink. Amy heard something break. But Penny didn't care. She jumped and ran towards Amy with open arms, smiling at her like crazy, hugging her tightly and rocking her from one leg to the other. "That's wonderful, Amy! I'm so happy for you! I know how hard the last months have been for you!" Amy heard Penny sob, she felt her tears of happiness on her face. Then, suddenly, she was grabbed around the back and lifted up a little bit. Penny reacted exactly the way Sheldon and herself hadn't been able to. After a while, Penny let her go and looked at her. The expression on her face changed instantly. She was worried now. "What's wrong, Amy?"

"I don't know, Penny, I just don't know."

"You planned to have this child for so long. Aren't you perfectly happy now?"

"I don't know. I'm just confused."

„Why are you confused?"

„You know, we've been waiting for this moment for so long, I've dreamt about it so often. And now it's there, but I cannot feel the joy, I just can't feel it. Have you ever been disappointed about your own feelings, Penny?"

"Well, I've often been disappointed in my brain, if that counts, too?"

"This should be one of the happiest moments of my life. But it doesn't feel like that. I was much happier when I got my high school diploma, for example. What's wrong with me?" She was almost screaming the last sentence, tears were streaming down her face.

"Shhh, shhh…" Penny had put her arms around Amy, again and was now rocking her like a baby. "I think you just need time to get used to the thought. Have you already told Sheldon?"

Amy nodded silently, sniffing her nose.

"What did he say?"

"He said "That's good news, Amy.". But after a short hug he said he needed to do something and left the apartment. What is that supposed to mean? Do you think he doesn't want the baby?"

"No, I don't think so. First of all, Sheldon has decided to become a father and when he once decided something he's sticking to it. Second, if he wouldn't want the baby anymore he would have told you so. But he said it's good news. I just think he needs some time on his own to realize it. It must be very difficult for him to sort out all his emotions, don't you think?"

"Mh, maybe."

"You know, Ames, you and Sheldon, you both are so quick with your brain, but I think from an emotional point of view, you both are pretty slow. Sheldon even more than you, obviously. And I believe that you two are incredibly happy about your pregnancy. It's just that this information hasn't reached your consciousness yet."

Amy breathed in deeply and sighed. A little smile appeared on her face. "I guess you're right. Probably I just need some time."

"Would you like to drink a tea with me?"

"Yes, very much!"

After a while Amy returned to her apartment. When she opened the door, Sheldon was sitting at the kitchen island, waiting for her. He got on his feet and they embraced each other tightly without a word for a long time.

"I'm sorry," Sheldon said quietly after a while. "I know I shouldn't have left the apartment. But I needed some time on my own."

"I know. I think I'll need it, too."

"But in general, do you think we made the right decision?"

"Yes, absolutely!"

"Me, too!"

They smiled at each other. Then, Sheldon gave Amy a little paper bag from the drugstore. It was containing two packages of dietary supplements. "Iodine and folic acid," Sheldon explained. "It's considered as absolutely necessary for pregnant women. Furthermore," he turned around to the kitchen island again, "I have printed a schedule which food is recommended for future mommies to eat and which you should give up for a while. But you won't like it: bye, bye, camembert cheese, bye, bye, prosciutto, bye, bye, sushi…"

"Yeah, I know, I'm not looking forward to that part of pregnancy…"

"And here's another schedule which tells us when we should do appointments at your gynecologist. The next one is… as soon as possible! Wow, I'm really looking forward to it. A gynecologist is the only kind of specialist doctor where I haven't had an appointment, yet!"

"You're planning to come with me?"

"Sure, I have to make sure he does his job right!"

"Really?"

"Ok, maybe I'm also a bit curious to see our baby in the ultrasound."

"Our baby, that sounds great!"

"It does!"