I thought hell would be warmer than this. Kagura has me standing on top of the building, where everyone can see as they walk by on the street. Kagura herself is sitting just by, albeit with a large fur coat that covered everything but her head.

"Go on, say it," she chuckled.

I knew it would be pointless arguing about it with her. Especially with the blackmail she had on me. All I could do was suck it up and hope nobody remembers this years from now.

"I would just like to let everyone know that I suck!" I shouted at the top of my lungs. I could already see the stares coming at me from below.

"And?" asked Kagura from behind.

"...and that I'm a girl!"

"What else?"

She was really pushing her luck. "...and I like ribbons in my hair...and I want to kiss all the boys."

I quickly turned and walked away as the streets filled with outrageous laughter. Now I'd never be able to show myself anywhere again without people thinking about that. To add insult to injury, Kagura was just starting.

"Did you really have to make me do that?" I asked.

"Well unless you'd rather have me tell everyone about your other little secret..."

I walked back inside without saying a word.

"That's what I thought, uh-huh."

The rest of the day was (thankfully) uneventful, except for when Gintoki came back with a shaved head. He says it was a new way of looking like a true samurai, but I was willing to bet that he lost a ridiculous bet with Katsura. I simply ignored it and went into my own room. The first thing I saw, of course, was Kagura in her regular attire and her legs crossed, giving me a smug grin, presumably because she had some other ridiculous thing she wanted me to do. Since I was not in the mood, all I did was lay down on the nearby tatami mat.

"That was quite a funny stunt you pulled," Kagura said.

"Only because you blackmailed me into doing it," I replied.

"And you'll keep doing it if you don't want your secret getting out," she teased.

"At this point I'm wondering if it's worth it," I muttered.

Unfortunately, she heard me. She got up and practically killed off my offspring by jumping on top of me. She definitely seemed a little ticked, but she seemed to be hiding it behind the same smug grin as before.

"Oh, so you want me to tell people about what really turns you on?" she asked, suddenly pushing my head backwards with her bare foot, "You don't mind people knowing?"

I would have answered if I wasn't so distracted; for someone with such pretty feet, her toes stink! And yet...I was strangely aroused by them. Short and stubby, as well as unpainted, her toes turned me on a lot. Too bad she was using it to torture me. Seriously, I was choking. Not from the smell. From the fact that two of her toes were clogging my nostrils, not even letting me breathe! I had to use my mouth to breathe, and it was all in huge gasps. I'm just glad she didn't use her other foot to clog it...and that she eventually pulled her toes out of my nostrils.

"Ponder that, uh-huh," she said as she got up to leave the room.

She could be a real bitch sometimes. But she definitely got worse after she got blackmail on me, and I wasn't gonna just gonna let her have the last laugh. She had to go to sleep at some point.

For her sake, she better sleep with her eyes open.