Happy New Year Everybody! Sorry in advance if this one isn't as exciting as the one I posted on Christmas. But you know, they can't all be super action-packed. Sometimes it's just about moving the story forward. Anyway, Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of Hirohiko Araki. Bleep. Blop. Bloop. Enjoy.

Flowers and Brimstone: Chapter 5.

(Eighteen and a half minutes later)

"Easy… Easy… You're doing fine."

"Kelly, stop it."

"Just a little to the left… Now up… No, up! Up!"

"Kelly, I mean it. You're gonna make me mess up."

"Okay, now turn it counterclockwise by thirteen degrees and then move it 1.26 centimeters to the…"

"Kelly!" the young skater girl shouted; causing her to drop the hated penny she'd just spent the last fifteen minutes trying to pick up. "Ugh… dang it."

"Oops. Sorry." Said the bush-girl; sounding genuinely repentant.

"And what exactly were you trying to achieve?"

"I don't know. I was just messing around. I didn't mean to…"

"No, it's fine. I wasn't getting the hang of it anyway. Sigh."

"What? No, that was like way better than last time. You had it like… a whole four inches off the ground."

"Eh, you're just saying that."

"No, I mean it. You didn't even sweat that time. And you don't look as nauseous either."

"Really?"

"Totally. You were like… in the zone."

"Oh, go on."

"No, you go on. You're so negative all the time. That's why you can't lift that stupid thing. You need more confidence. You know, think positive."

"Positive, huh." Jackie said musingly. "Well, I guess its worth a…"

"HE DID WHAT!" roared the all too familiar voice of her trusted advisor from across the clearing; instantly gaining everyone's attention. "THAT STUPID, SELF-RIGHTEOUS LITTLE JACKASS! I'LL RIP HIS F***ING GUTS OUT!"

"Will you keep your voice down! You're gonna blow the whole thing." Janna chastised the older man in a loud whisper before pulling him aside. "Now, if you'll just calm down and lower your voice, I can tell you that its probably not what you think."

After that, the two of them moved out of earshot; leaving the rest of the group deeply confused.

"What the heck was that about?" asked Jackie, talking to no one in particular.

"No idea." Kelly replied suspiciously. "But I bet I can find out."

"How? You got super sensitive hearing or something?"

"No, but I'm pretty good at reading lips. Hold on, just give me a second."

Suddenly, the bush-girl adopted a look of intense focus as she trained her bespectacled eyes squarely on her distant targets.

"Okay, so the tall guy, he just called someone named Paco a stupid pig faced donkey raping Chupacabra. And now that girl, Hanna…"

"Janna."

"Whatever. Now she's saying, 'No, it couldn't 've been him. The bunnies were ripped apart with teeth and then melted with some kind of aspic. Marco can't do that'."

"Uh… are you sure you read that right?"

"Positive. Okay, now he's saying something about a 'new player'. And now she's saying something about someone named Biederbeck. And now he's saying something about Curacao. And now I'm realizing I'm not as good at this as I thought."

Jackie had to force herself not to chuckle at her new friend's antics. As amusing as this all was, she had a sneaking suspicion that things were about to turn very serious very soon.

Moments later, her suspicions were validated.

"Alright girls, wrap it up. Practice is over." Said the thin man as he and his 'little assistant' made their way back to the rest of the group; a sense of urgency in his voice.

"Already?" asked Annie confusedly; pausing to check her watch. "It's only been a couple hours."

"Yeah, man. What's the deal?"

"The deal? You wanna know what the deal is, Star? Okay, I'll tell you what the deal is. Marco's missing!"

"WHAT!" the girls all shouted in unison.

"Yeah, that's right, you heard me. Janna turned this neighborhood upside-down four times and she can't find him anywhere."

"So, what?" asked Kelly casually. "He's got his own Dimensional Scissors. He probably just went somewhere fun."

"A fair point, bush-head. And normally I wouldn't care. But there's this alley a few blocks from where Janna last saw him and right now its just chock full of corpses."

"Oh, dear Lord!" Jackie chimed in distraughtly; realization striking her like a steamer trunk full of concrete. "You don't… I mean, you don't think Marco is… is…"

"Not likely." Janna cut in; clearly trying to act as the voice of reason. "The bodies I saw were mutilated and half melted, but they were all obviously adults. And none of them looked Hispanic. So…"

"So, he must be alive!" the skater girl said elatedly. "Oh, thank goodness."

"Yes, but given his proximity to the alley the last time I saw him, I think it's safe to assume that he was involved somehow. Though in what capacity I can't say for sure."

"We can speculate later." Jefferson cut in, using his patented 'taking charge' voice. "Right now, we've got a crisis on our hands. Unknown hostiles. Midday massacre. Marco MIA. Good Lord! It's a Scenario 12!"

"A what?" asked Kelly confusedly.

"No time for questions, bush-head. We gotta get moving. Star, you and Lightfoot get over to Marco's place in case he comes home. And while you're waiting, get that bitch Hekapoo on the horn. If our boy really did jump ship on Earth, chances are she knows something about it. Got it?"

"Yes, Sir." The two girls replied in unison.

"Good. Now, Jackie. You take shrub-head and get over to Jojo's. There's a box full of my stuff in the garage. Find it and take out the little red book; that's my contact list. Once you find it, call Dale Biederbeck and tell him I sent you. If he asks you to prove it, just say 'the walrus needs a carpenter'; he'll know what it means. After that, just give him a rundown of our situation and ask him to run a 41-Tango. Once that's done, call me for further instructions. You got all that?"

"Uh… Yes, Sir."

"Good. Meanwhile, Janna and I 'll head over to that alley to look for clues. If we hurry, we can get there before the cops show up and contaminate everything. Well, what are you all just standing around for? Time is of the essence. Let's set some records here, ladies. Come on! Blur! Blur! Blur!"

XXX

(Twenty-three and a half minutes later)

Either by design or pure happenstance, Jefferson had selected a clearing within spitting distance of his girlfriend's house to serve as their regular training ground. So, it only took Jackie and Kelly about five minutes to get to Ms. Ordonia's garage. Unfortunately, locating their teacher's contact list was proving to be a much more difficult task.

"Come on… Come on…" the skater girl muttered to herself as she carefully sifted through the sea of refuse that was Janna's garage. "Ugh! Where is that stupid book?"

"It's not over here either." Called the shrub girl, having just finished pawing through a box of old knickknacks. "And seriously, what is a guy that old doing with so many bobbleheads?"

"Those are probably Janna's Mom's. She's… uh… kind of a packrat. Just keep looking."

"Alright, alight." Kelly said, before resuming her search. "So… what's the deal with that Jefferson guy? I mean, secret contact lists. Crazy codeworks. Scenario 12. What is he, some kind of secret agent or something?"

"Nah, he's just… paranoid, I guess. His Stand can't attack or defend, so he had to find other ways to protect himself."

"Well… I guess that makes sense. But what's his story? I mean, how'd he get to be such an expert on all this Stand stuff?"

"Uh… well… I don't really know. I guess its just something he picked up over time."

"What do you mean you don't know? You're trusting your lives with this guy and you don't know anything about him?"

"No, we know… some things about him."

"Oh yeah, like what?"

"Well… we know he used to belong to some wealthy family in Boston. Janna confirmed that with a quick internet search. But apparently his folks disowned him a long time ago for some reason."

"Oh, well that's reassuring." The bush-girl said with a roll of her eyes.

"And… and… we know he's lived in a lot of different places all over the world. Though… mostly in bus stations and on park benches."

"So, in other words, you're entrusting your lives to a disgraced former billionaire turned globetrotting hobo."

"Yeesh. When you put it that way, it sounds pretty bleak." Jackie replied, half-jokingly. "Sigh. But its not like we've got much choice. We need someone to teach us how to use our Stands. And so far, he's the only User we've met who hasn't tried to kill us."

"And he's just doing this out of the goodness of his heart?" Kelly asked skeptically.

"HA! Far from it. The guy's obsessed with Janna's mom. As long as she keeps going out with him, he'll do whatever it takes to keep us all alive. Or at least Janna, anyway."

"Yeah, I noticed those two are kinda chummy. What is she, like teacher's pet or something?"

"It's… complicated. You wouldn't understand."

"Oh yeah, try me."

"Well… okay, but don't spread this around, okay?"

"Jackie, I live in another dimension. Who am I gonna tell?"

"Eh… alright. It's like this. Janna's dad ditched her mom a few weeks before she was born, so she never really had a father. Which I guess explains why she's always been kinda… off. But anyway, ever since we were kids she's always dreamed about having a normal family. She'd always get so excited when her mom found a new boyfriend and then she'd cry for days when they'd break up. It was awful. I thought she'd gotten over it by now, but… I guess, deep down, she's still that sad little girl who just wants a daddy."

"Aw~ That's so sad."

"Yeah, I know. But seriously, don't mention this to anyone. Janna would kill me if she knew I told you about that stuff."

"My lips are sealed." Kelly said with a playful wink.

And with that, the two girls resumed their search.

After several more minutes of fruitless effort, Jackie was beginning to wonder if her esteemed teacher hadn't misplaced his precious contact book.

When suddenly…

"Jackie! Hey, Jackie! I think I found…"

WHUMP!

On a reflex, the skater girl spun around to see what was the matter, and to her great alarm, she saw her bush headed friend lying facedown on the floor; the infamous book in hand.

"Kelly? Kelly, are you alright? What happened?"

"Don't worry about it." A soft yet oily voice whispered in her ear. "It'll all be over soon."

Suddenly, she felt something sharp pierce the side of her neck.

"Nighty Night~"

And then everything went black.

End Notes:

Again, sorry if this one was a little boring. I'll try to punch up the dialogue in the next one. Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll see you all next time.

Peace.