Flowers and Brimstone Chapter 9, a star vs. the forces of evil fanfic

I was gonna save this chapter for later, like maybe as the last one before the epilogue, but I decided I couldn't wait. Consider this the halfway point. Anyway, Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Blah. Blah. Blah. Enjoy.

Flowers and Brimstone: Chapter 9.

(Whimsy Valley, Mewni: the next day)

It was the second day of the Annual Whimsy Valley Farmers' Market and Lord Mildrew was on cloud nine.

Now, you might find it odd that a nobleman of such high standing would get this excited about an event intended for commoners, but it's really not all that unusual.

For you see, in addition to being a gentleman, a romantic, and a bon vivant, Lord Mildrew was also a gourmet, and as any true gourmet will tell you, one must never shy away from a delicacy, regardless of where it comes from or who prepares it.

Still confused?

Well, you're not from Mewni. So, you wouldn't know about Whimsy Valley.

Please, allow me to explain.

You see, Whimsy Valley is a large agricultural community on the southern end of Mewni, lorded over for twelve generations by a benevolent line of baronets, more commonly known as the Whimsy Clan. Now, since the conditions in the south are all wrong for growing corn, the farmers of Whimsy Valley were forced long ago to abandon their kingdom's signature product in order to preserve their livelihoods. Naturally, each farmer had their own idea about what their new staple should be, which led to some rather spirited competition, which in turn led to the production of a wide variety of foodstuffs that could be found nowhere else in all of Mewni. And every year, for one whole week, the members of this little agricultural enclave put their finest wares on display; in the hopes of both turning a profit and showing up their neighbors.

Starting to see the allure yet?

No?

Well, regardless, it was about midday and Lord Mildrew was in high spirits. Since arriving at the market several hours ago, the good nobleman had already purchased four cases of Mr. Entwistle's succulent blackcurrant jelly, three of Mrs. Flaversham's scrumptious walnut cakes, five jars of Mrs. Carbuncle's decadent pickled walnuts, nine bottles of Mr. Pennyapple's sinful elderflower wine, two cases of Mrs. Milkem's heavenly organic honey, and three and a half pounds of Mr. Funny-Name's homemade strawberry flavored goat cheese, and he showed no signs of stopping anytime soon.

Naturally, he wasn't carrying all of this himself; in fact, he hadn't even technically paid for it all yet. But he'd made arrangements with the vendors to have the goods loaded onto his carriage before departing, at which point he would pay them what he owed, plus a little extra for their troubles. Ordinarily, farmers would be suspicious of such an arrangement, especially with a nobleman from so far north, but luckily most of the vendors knew Lord Mildrew from years past and knew him to be trustworthy. Besides, he was brother-in-law to the current baronet of the valley, Sir Atlas Whimsy, so his credit was pretty much unlimited.

But alas, I once again diverge from the point.

Now, as I was saying, it was about midday and Lord Mildrew was strolling through the busy market; catching the eye of every young Mewman girl he passed. True, he wasn't quite the perfect specimen he'd been in his youth. His hair was a little shorter and his stomach was much wider, as is the curse of any true gourmet, but all things considered, he wasn't a bad looking fellow. In fact, I'd even go as far as to call him classically handsome.

However, the Lord's attention was not on his looks, or the girls, or even the food, surprisingly. But rather on the two youths who were walking along side him.

The first was a young Mewman lad, about fifteen years of age, with ginger hair, dark blue eyes, and a saber on his belt. His name was Solaris. The son of Mildrew's only sister and the future baronet of Whimsy Valley. A bit boisterous at times, but overall a wonderful chap. And quite talented too. Painter. Poet. Swordsman. A real Mewnian Renaissance Man… er… Boy.

The other was a sand colored, anthropomorphic wolf creature around the same age called Blood-Nose; so named for the strange, scarlet discoloration of the fur around his mussel. A bit of a roughneck, honestly, but quite nice as far as monsters go. Always happy to see his friends. Always sad to see them go. Always up for a little good-natured roughhousing. Why, is it any wonder he and young Solaris were such good pals?

Yes, you heard me right. The son of the local bigwig, Sir Atlas Whimsy himself, was best friends with a monster.

How, you ask?

Well, it's really not all that complicated.

You see, the members of the Whimsy Clan have always been known as progressivists and monster sympathizers. The previous baronet, the late Sir Hephaestus Whimsy, was a great supporter of Queen Comet's efforts to make peace with the indigenous peoples; even offering his services as lead negotiator. He was also a vocal critic of the current monarchy; calling Queen Moon's actions following her mother's death "the cruel and shortsighted acts of a spoiled vindictive brat who knows as much about pain and suffering as a fish knows about oxygen". An opinion he never deviated from until the day he died.

Sir Atlas, the current baronet, was much like his father; though he believed actions spoke much louder than words. Rather than trying to shame the royals into changing their ways, he decided to change the way Mewmans viewed the monster community from the bottom up; starting with his own domain. Whenever a problem arose between the Mewmans and monsters of Whimsy Valley, Sir Atlas the Wise would step in and make sure that both sides saw things from the other's perspective; insuring that they'd come to a reasonable agreement. What's more, he instated something he called a "Good Neighbor Policy" and banned the celebration of certain holidays that glorified the brutal massacre of the indigenous peoples.

Not that it really took much to get the local farmers to follow his way of thinking. After all, they couldn't shut themselves off from the rest of the world like the nobles and royals. They lived right next to the monsters and saw what kind of squalor they were forced to live in. They knew what it was like to endure dry summers and harsh winters, and what it felt like to go hungry. Granted, the two species weren't exactly buddy-buddy, but the farmers did occasionally 'forget' to lock their storage cellars and the monsters made sure to never take more than they needed.

It was far from a perfect system, but it certainly beat the alternative.

"Are you enjoying the market, Uncle?" asked Solaris, snapping the older Mewman out of his trance.

"Wh-What? Oh, um, sorry, Solaris. Did you say something?"

"Yes, I asked you if you were enjoying the market this year. Are you alright?"

"Oh, ur… yes, of course, my boy. I'm quite alright. Just a little distracted. That's all."

"By what, gov?" asked Blood-Nose, his voice a little greasy but his tone respectful.

"Eh, nothing you chaps would be interested in. Just… lordly stuff, and all that."

"Oh." The young lycanthrope replied dully. "So, like Sol was saying, you enjoying the market this year, gov?"

"Oh my, yes." He answered with a genial smile. "The sun is shining. The weather is gorgeous. The merchants' wares are as impressive as ever. Shame there are no fish mongers here, but overall I'd call this a smashing success."

"You like fish, your lordship?" Blood-Nose asked excitedly. "Well, me and dad are going fishing tomorrow. Would you like to join us?"

"Er… That's… very kind of you, dear lad. But I'm afraid I must leave first thing in the morning. Very important… lordly things to do back home, you know. And besides… I'm not really much of a fisherman. Don't care for worms, you see."

"Worms? Whatcha mean worms?"

"You know, to use as bait"

"You're supposed to use bait?"

"Of course, you put it on the end of the hook."

"You're supposed to use hooks?"

"Er…" Mildrew said, his eyes darting around for something to derail this awkward conversation. "Say, why don't you boys head over to Mrs. Lambershire's stall and pick up some of her spellbindingly scrumptious toffee apples. My treat."

"Really, Uncle?" asked Solaris excitedly.

"Oy! You're a right proper prince, gov. That's for true!"

"Yes. Yes. Now run along, boys. And do tell the old dear I said hello."

"You got it, Uncle. Come on, Blood-Nose."

"Right!"

And with that, the two boys hurried off to collect their treats.

But as they did, Lord Mildrew couldn't help but smile at his young nephew.

'Artemis, you've raised him to be a fine young lad.' He thought sweetly to his beloved sister. 'I just know he'll grow into an even finer man.'

"Excuse me, Lord Mildrew." Said a vaguely familiar voice from somewhere behind him. "Might I have a word with you?"

Ever the gentleman, the good lord obliged the stranger's request and turned around. But when he did, he saw not a farmer or a monster, but a small, cloaked figure wearing a peculiar looking rubber mask; a 'gasmask' if he remembered correctly from his early schooling.

"Um… hello there." He said politely, despite his clear confusion. "Can I help you?"

"Yes." The masked figure said bluntly. "And you can start by getting on your knees."

"I beg your pardon?"

"You heard me. On your knees, scum."

"Now see here. I am a Lord of Mewni, and I will not be spoken to in such a disrespectful…"

SHING!

From out of nowhere, the tiny figure produced a rapier and pointed the blade directly at Mildrew's jugular.

"Uh… right. On my knees then, was it." He said nervously as he obeyed the figure's demand; earning the attention of several onlookers.

"Tsk. Too easy." The figure said with a strange mix of satisfaction and disgust. "You're even more pathetic than she said you'd be."

"I… I beg your pardon?"

"I mean, associating with known dissidents is one thing. But to actually befriend one of those repugnant freaks of nature! Disgusting! Have you no pride as a Mewman?"

"Please, I-I-I don't understand. I think there's been some kind of mistake."

"No mistakes. Just vermin and traitors." The figure said as it opened its cloak, revealing at least thirty sticks of dynamite attached to a strange mechanical vest. "And I'm here to exterminate you all."

Click.

Something activated on the mysterious mechanism, causing all the fuses to light simultaneously.

Lord Mildrew's eyes went wide with terror.

"HEAR ME NOW, YOU TRAITOROUS DOGS!" the figure yelled; earning even more attention from the crowd. "IN THE NAME OF HER MAJESTY, QUEEN MOON THE UNDAUNTED, I CAST YOU ALL INTO A FIERY HE…"

SHING!

In the blink of an eye, the entire scene changed.

Suddenly, the cloaked figure was lying flat on its back; its sword cast aside, its fuses cut, and its mask torn to shreds.

Standing over it, with his own sword aimed directly at the villain's throat, was young Solaris; his eyes burning with righteous fury.

"Flick thy serpent's tongue again, knave, and I shall remove it for you." He said in a calm yet threatening tone. "Blood-Nose, is my uncle alright?"

"Don't know. I'll ask him." the young lycanthrope replied, suddenly standing right next to the shaken lord. "You alright, gov?"

"Oh… y-yes, my boy. I'm quite alright." He lied as he attempted to regain his composure. "Just… Just a little shaken, that's…"

But the words died in his throat, as Mildrew suddenly got a look at his assailant's exposed face.

Without the mask, the cloaked figure was revealed to be a young Mewman girl, about Solaris' age, with short orange hair, green eyes, and freckles.

"You… I… I know you." The older Mewman said dumbfoundedly. "I've seen you around the capitol. You're Sir Stabby's squire."

"My name is Higgs! You fat bastard!" the young girl spat venomously.

"But… But why? Why would you do this? Why would you attack me and threaten all these innocent people?"

"Innocent?" she said mockingly. "Is that supposed to be funny? These people are all dissidents! Traitors! They follow the teachings of a radical. They spit on our sacred traditions. And worst of all, they defy the will of our beloved Queen by giving food to those disgusting monsters! You're a disgrace to your species! All of you! You all deserve to die!"

"Oh, shut up." Solaris said sternly. "You spout nothing but empty rhetoric. From birth you were taught to hate monsters. But did you ever once stop to ask why?"

"They're ugly, they smell bad, and the Queen hates them. What other reason do I need?"

"I see. Then you are indeed a fool."

"No! You're the fool! You all are!" the young squire shouted viciously, before she started raving like a lunatic. "Monsters are a virus! A weed! You don't befriend a weed, you kill it! Don't you see? We Mewmans are the master race! The supreme beings! Monsters are vermin! A threat to our purity! No! You're all infected! Infected by their filth! I'll kill you! In the name of Queen Moon, I'll kill you all!"

WHAM!

Rather than making good on his earlier threat, Solaris socked the ranting girl right on the jaw; knocking her out and putting an end to her mad preaching.

Then he turned to his friend.

"Blood-Nose. Go get my father and tell him what's happened. I'll stay here and keep an eye on her."

"You got it."

And with that, the young lycanthrope hurried off to fetch Sir Atlas, while Lord Mildrew and his nephew looked upon the unconscious girl with a mix of disgust and pity.

A short distance away, an old man dressed in a tattered trench coat and fedora sat down on a crate of preserves and watched the ever-growing crowd.

And as he fed the large black crow on his shoulder a handful of birdseed from his pocket, he listened to their thoughts with wicked glee.

I can't believe this. It's like a nightmare.

Sir Atlas was right. The Queen's rhetoric is poisonous.

Turning little girls into suicide bombers. Does the Queen have no shame?

First my brother dies in her war. Now this. Damn Queen's gonna get us all killed.

Was she acting alone, or did the Queen order this?

Poor little girl. Brainwashed by the establishment her whole life. It's downright heartbreaking.

Wouldn't surprise me if this whole thing was the Queen's idea. She's always been an entitled racist.

Spoiled vindictive brat. Bet her mother's turning over in her grave right now.

The whole royal family's a bunch of racist lunatics. I heard the King once burned down a whole cornfield just to kill some hungry scavengers.

And that Princess is no better. Always busting in on innocent monsters. Wailing on them just for laughs. Sick little freak. Like mother like daughter.

Is this what it's gonna be like from now on? I can't take this.

Someone's got to do something.

I say it's high time we had someone new in change.

The Butterflys are all racists. They should be deposed.

Queen Moon is a racist nut.

Racist hag.

Psychotic bigot with bad taste in men.

Down with Queen Moon.

"I must be dreaming." The old man said with a smile; showing off his mouth full of rotten teeth. "It just can't be this easy."

End Notes:

BOOM!

I've been waiting forever to write this chapter.

I hope you liked it.

Please leave a comment before you go, and I'll see you in the next one.

Peace.