After the disastrous results of the luau party, Dean Clinton had ordered ALZETA move into the OMBETA house. The two rival fraternities were discontent with her decision. They'd been competing since the beginning of time, how were they supposed to team up now?
Woody watched in terror as Max Goof tore down his horse posters and replaced them with photos of pro-skater Tony Hawk.
"Get that pretty boy skater off my wall before I ride you like a cowboy!" Woody scowled.
Max Goof scoffed and removed his sunglasses. "Pretty boy? Tony Hawk is the edgiest athlete in the world! There's nothing legendary about horses!"
The cowboy stomped his foot. "I guess you ain't heard of Seabiscuit!" Woody pulled a limited edition copy of the film out of his drawer.
"You're right!" Max Goof gave Woody the middle finger. "Because Oceanmuffin isn't a legend!"
"HIS NAME IS SEABISCUIT!" Woody flung the DVD at Max.
They turned their heads after hearing a knock on the doorframe. Dean Clinton was leaning up against it, trying to look cool.
"Gentlemen, is that arguing I hear?" She smirked.
"Nah, we're just practicing for the debate team." Max Goof shot her finger guns. Woody nodded in agreement. The frats were on a fine line, it was best they didn't cross it.
"Wonderful." She nodded sarcastically. "Practicing for UOA's imaginary debate team. Watch out boys, I have my eyes on both of you."
Max and Woody gulped. They waited until they could no longer hear the fit tea in Hillary Clinton's teacup swooshing around. Then they resumed their argument.
"This is atrocious." McQueen criticized Mater's interior decorating skills. The room was made up of Radiator Springs memorabilia.
Mater whacked him the face with his tow hook. "You're the only atrocious thing in this here room."
It had taken until the sun came up for the two cars to realize the party had ended. Meaning, they'd done donuts in the front lawn for almost six hours straight. When McQueen saw the house in shambles and all of its other occupants missing, he knew something horrible happened.
McQueen chuckled. "Let's make this easy for both of us."
"What're ya' talkin' bout."
In one motion, Lightning flung all of Mater's belongings to one side of the room. Then he pulled out a roll of tape and divided the bedroom in two. "My side." McQueen drove over the tape. "Your side!" He then pointed to Mater's cluttered belongings.
Mater scoffed. "Your side's one inch bigger!"
"I need my personal space!"
Mater revved up his tires. A loud screeching erupted through the room. "WELL, I NEED THE OLD LIGHTNIN' MCQUEEN BACK!"
Lightning's face softened. Did Mater really miss having him as a friend? "You mean that?" The race car revealed a naive side of himself.
The rusted truck frowned. "No." He lied. "I was just kiddin'!"
Mater turned and left the room. Leaving Lightning McQueen alone in the silence.
Nick walked through the halls with his sunglasses disguising his tired eyes. It was time for calculus. Calculus had always been awful. Calculus with your ex-girlfriend was even more awful. Calculus with your ex-girlfriend, who you'd also throw up on was a fate Nick wouldn't wish on anyone.
He entered the room with his head down hoping no one would look at him. Before he got a chance to sit he heard a voice call his name from across the room.
"Nick!" Moana waved him in her direction. Judy was nowhere to be found.
The fox rolled his eyes but, sat down beside her. "What?"
"Did you see Judy at the party last night?" Moana asked, concerned.
Nick bit his lip, she didn't know what happened. "Nope."
The virgin sacrifice shook her head. "She never came home, I'm starting to worry... "
Nick was admittedly worried as well. After all, this was probably his fault. "I'm sure she's fine... " The fox shrugged.
The bell rang and Mr. Malone made a grand entrance into his classroom. He gave the students a round of applause.
"You guys really blew me away last night." He smiled proudly. "Figuratively, and , I brought you guys a little thank you gift!"
The class hooted and hollered as Mr. Malone pulled a thirty rack out from under his desk. The students stood up to grab a victory beer, except for Nick. The fox stayed seated with his arms crossed.
"Come up and grab a beer, Nick." Mr. Malone taunted. "Who wouldn't celebrate getting drunk and throwing up on their ex-girlfriend!"
The class turned to look at the fox, who was now clenching his fists.
Moana gasped. "You said you didn't see her!" She shoved the fox, nearly knocking him out of his chair. "I can't believe you threw up on Judy!"
Nick couldn't handle the shame any longer. All he wanted to do was apologize. But, as usual, everything in his life went horribly wrong. The fox stood up and sulked out of the classroom, slamming the door behind him.
Elsa trudged through the halls dressed in black. Black jeans, black sweatshirt, black hat, and even black sunglasses. The last thing she wanted to do right now was be seen. The blonde bitch quietly slipped into Dean Clinton's office.
"Elsa, what a pleasure." She ushered to the seat across from her own. "Take a seat dear, I've even made you some fit tea."
Elsa huffed and took a sip of the fit tea. "Thanks."
"So, I'm sure you've heard what happened at the luau party last night?" The dean clasped her hands.
The blonde bitch nodded. "If you just wanted to tell me I'm on the verge of being expelled for something my retarded classmates did, then I'll let myself out." Elsa snapped, furious that everyone would pay for the fraternities reckless decisions.
"Actually, I wanted to ask you a favor." Dean Clinton smirked.
Elsa cocked her head in curiosity. "Oh?"
Hillary took a sip of her own fit tea. "You and I both know what it's like to be betrayed by our closest friends. Your friend told the school you had HIV, and my friend didn't relay the news to me!"
"I DON'T HAVE HIV!" Elsa snapped.
Dean Clinton hushed Elsa with her hands. "I believe you, but, regardless we've both been mistreated because of the fraternities and your sorority. Don't you agree?"
"I suppose so... " The blonde bitch wondered where her Dean was going with this.
"What would you think about teaming up with me, to take OMBETA, ALZETA, and DELTA THOTA down once and for all?"
"You crazy bitch!" Elsa groaned. "I'm not going to get myself expelled!" She threw her glass of fit tea at Clinton.
Hillary scrunched her nose. "Hush, dear. I'll save you from expulsion! As long as you keep giving me information under the table."
Elsa debated. It would feel nice to get revenge on those who tormented her. And, it's not like she really cared about anyone in her sorority anyways.
"You have a deal." Elsa reached her hand across the desk.
Clinton cackled as the two woman shook hands.
Judy had woke up in the ALZETA house, still laying in the porcelain bathtub. She stood up to find something to cover her body with. Her stomach churned and she felt a throbbing ache in her forehead. Judy sat down, contemplating what could possibly wrong.
A hangover was completely out of the question. Judy hadn't taken a sip of alcohol all night. Maybe she was hungry, after all, she hadn't eaten since before the party. Or she might not have gotten enough sleep. The last time she woke up in a bathtub wasn't so pleasant either.
Judy groaned as her mind wandered back to the fox. She reached for her cellphone to check the time and was shocked to see multiple texts asking where she was. Judy read each one individually, not bothering to respond. She'd even received one from Nick earlier that morning.
'I'm sorry.' it read. Judy sighed and pushed herself up off the tile floor. The bunny noticed a long white bathrobe hanging from the door. It would have to do.
Judy though having her drunk ex-throwing up on her at a party was bad. Turns out walking across campus in a bathrobe that clearly did not belong to her was much more embarrassing.
She slammed the front door of the THOTA house, deciding attending class wasn't worth it at this point. Plus, she felt too ill to focus anyways.
Judy stuck a slice of bread in the toaster, wanting to eat something light just in case she was sick. But, after one bite of the slightly burned bread, Judy was repulsed by the taste. The bunny twisted open a jar of peanut butter. The smell had never bothered her before but, for some reason today she was unable to stand it.
A few moments later, she was vomiting into the trash can. "It's just the flu... " Judy tried to calm herself. But, her nervous mind kept wandering back to her mother. Judy had seen these symptoms many times in her life. It wouldn't hurt to check.
The bunny crawled into the living room and pulled a small box from under the coffee table. The DELTA THOTA pleasure package. Judy removed the lid and began digging through the pile of condoms, lubricant, body oil, sexy dice, and even a pair of handcuffs. Then at the very bottom, she found a bag of Plan B pills and beside it, a pregnancy test. Judy scowled at the frowning face that she had ironically drawn on the package months ago.
She shut and locked the bathroom door behind her. Judy carefully followed the instructions listed on the package. Now, all she had to do was wait fifteen minutes. She paced around the bathroom until she heard Moana calling her name down the hall.
"I'm right here!" Judy slipped out of the bathroom and waved to her friend.
Moana sighed in relief and drug Judy back to their shared room and shut the door behind them. "What the hell happened last night!"
The bunny rolled her eyes. "You ran off with Maui and left me alone!"
"Why didn't you hang out with someone else? Or come look for me?" The virgin sacrifice questioned.
"I didn't even want to be there in the first place." The bunny frowned.
"Yep. I wish I hadn't gone either." Moana smacked her lips.
"Why?"
"Dean Clinton showed up. She was so pissed about her flowers and the ALZETA house that she combined the fraternities... " Moana whispered.
Judy crossed her arms. "That's not so bad."
"Actually, it is. We're all on our last strike. If anything else goes wrong we're all going to get expelled. Which means, if the guys can't learn to get along, everyone's going down with them."
Judy clenched her eyes shut. Could her day get any worse?
Moana checked her phone. "I gotta get back to class, but, I'm glad you're okay." She smiled.
Judy waited until she heard the front door close before heading back to the bathroom. Her results should be done by now.
The air left her lungs when she re-entered the bathroom. Dressed in a black, Elsa sat on the edge of the tub looking straight down at Judy's pregnancy test.
"That's - that's not mine." Judy stuttered.
"Really, Judy? I saw you looking through the pleasure package." Elsa taunted. "Unfortunately, you're not pregnant." She stuck her bottom lip out.
"Are you serious?" Judy asked in disbelief. She let her body relax a bit.
"Nope. You're totally pregnant." Elsa laughed and tossed the pregnancy test at Judy.
The bunny watched in horror as the pregnancy test landed face down on the floor, leaving her unable to see the results.
"Look at it!" Elsa pointed at the test.
Judy slowly reached down to pick it up. Her arms were shaking as she plucked it off the tile floor.
"Just look at the Goddamn thing! I already told you that you're pregnant!"
Judy clenched her teeth and deadpanned Elsa. "Don't use our Lord's name in vain!"
The bunny continued stalling while praying God had forgiven her for committing adultery. Elsa had enough, she stomped over and snatched the test away from Judy. She then flipped it over and held it right in front of Judy's eyes.
"See? Just like I said. You're pregnant." Elsa said confidently.
It couldn't be real. Judy fell to the floor and brought her knees to her chest. Her throat grew tight and tears started falling from her eyes.
"Stop crying you twat! Get a freaking abortion everyone's done it!" Elsa snapped at Judy.
The bunny gasped. "Children are a gift from God! How could you say that!" Her voice broke with every word. Slowly her cries turned into loud sobs.
"Oh, get over yourself!" Elsa groaned. "At least you don't have HIV!"
Judy looked up at the blonde bitch, suddenly feeling horrible for starting such an awful rumor. "Elsa, I'm so sorry I was just angry. I'll tell everyone it was just a rumor. It's just when I saw you with Nick and Ralph started talking about STD's I couldn't help it! I'm, so sorry!" The bunny rambled.
"Wait. What?"
The bunny wiped a tear from her eye. "What do you mean -" The shocked looked on Elsa's face revealed everything. "Oh my gosh. You actually have HIV don't you?"
"No!" Elsa held out her arms in defense.
Judy shook her head. "You have HIV!" She took a deep breath before she started crying hysterically once again. "EVERYONE KNOWS YOU HAVE HIV AND IT'S MY FAULT! GOD'S GOING TO SEND ME TO HELL"
Elsa could not tell if Judy was screaming or crying but, it was annoying. "SHUT THE FUCK UP, PLEASE SHUT THE FUCK UP!" She shouted back before taking a deep breath. "Seriously, shut the fuck up right now, or I will forward an email to the entire school that says you're pregnant." Elsa spoke through her teeth.
Judy nodded and tried to calm herself down. Every once in a while another sob would plague her body.
"Listen, keep the HIV thing on the down low and I promise I won't tell anyone you're pregnant." Elsa frowned, realizing she would have to compromise with Judy.
"Okay." The bunny rubbed her red eyes.
Elsa lowered her guard and sat beside Judy. "So um, who's the dad?"
Judy began breathing heavily once again. "Who do you think?"
The blonde bitch let out an uncomfortable laugh. "That sucks."
"Yep."
The two THOTA's sat together for a while. For the first time since meeting, they acted civil towards one another.