Hello, and welcome to the next chapter of Flowers and Brimstone. Not much to say this time around so let's just get started. Star vs the Forces of Evil is owned by Disney and Stands are the creation of the brilliant and talented Hirohiko Araki. Yadda. Yadda. Enjoy.
Flowers and Brimstone: Chapter 12.
(Fourteen hours later)
Night had fallen over the Mysterious Island and our young heroines were enjoying a peaceful and much needed slumber.
Well, Kelly was anyway.
Jackie, on the other hand, was a nervous wreck.
Having spent the entire day shooting down one bad idea after another, the young skateboarder eventually came to the conclusion that their only option was to try and take Danni by surprise. And even though her new friend had promised to watch her back, she was less than optimistic about her chances.
In all likelihood, they were both going to die horribly.
So, with her gory demise looming over her like a black cloud and her mind racing from one bad scenario to another, Jackie just laid there on her side of the cave; silently praying that someone would come along and bash her over the head with a baseball bat.
Anything to end this suffering.
'So, this is it.' she thought to herself frantically. 'This is how I'm gonna spend my last night on Earth. Tossing and turning on a dirty cave floor and wondering. Wondering what it's gonna feel like to be atomized. Wondering if I'm gonna scream. Wondering what comes after. If anything. Or if it all just goes black. Oh, God! This must be what it's like on death row!'
ZAAAAAAAAAAAAWP!
An unbearable, but all too familiar sound snapped the young skateboarder out of her internal monologue. Kelly was on her side of the cave; snoring like a buzz saw and drooling like an infant.
'How the hell can she sleep like that? A psycho's gonna blast us into nothing tomorrow.' She thought with equal parts rage and panic. 'Then again, maybe she's got the right idea. I mean, if I get some sleep then I won't be tired while I'm fighting Danni. And if I'm not tired I'll be more alert. And if I'm more alert I might see an opening and turn the whole thing around. Yeah, that makes sense. Only one problem. I can't fall asleep!'
Suddenly, Jackie noticed something out of the corner of her eye. A small brown blob laying motionlessly on the cave floor. Upon further inspection, she recognized it as the leather bag Kelly had shown her earlier. The one that contained the Morpheus Mushrooms.
'Huh… guess she must've dropped it while she was cooking.' She thought absentmindedly. 'You know, that one mushroom really took the edge off before. Maybe one more could relax me enough to help me fall asleep.'
Jackie slowly reached over to grab the little brown sack, but then stopped herself about halfway.
'No! What am I doing? Kelly said these things were dangerous. And like crazy addictive. They could seriously mess me up.' She reminded herself, before deciding to continue. 'But on the other hand, it's been over twelve hours since I ate the first one. And… I just need one more to help me sleep. Yeah, just one more can't hurt. Right?'
Not waiting for someone to answer, she quickly snatched up the leather bag, pulled out a small mushroom, and popped it into her mouth.
Instantly, a familiar euphoria overtook her senses.
Everything was wonderful again.
Colors were brighter.
Sounds were more soothing.
The world was just so marvelous and… then it was over.
The world was dark and horrible again.
'Oh, come on! That didn't last nearly as long as last time!' she thought bitterly as the withdrawal symptoms kicked in. 'Ugh! Must've grabbed a dud or something. Well… just one more probably won't hunt.'
So, with her mind muddled by fungus withdrawal, Jackie pulled out another mushroom, this one much bigger than the last, and popped it into her mouth.
Suddenly, the familiar euphoria returned, this time accompanied by a strange distortion of color.
The world was looking psychedelic, baby.
'Whoa… now we're talkin'' she thought as she bobbed her head to the beat of the dancing colors. 'Oh yeah, this is nice. This is real nice. But, I'm not really sleepy yet. Maybe just one more.'
Already under the influence of the mind-altering Morpheus Mushrooms, the young skateboarder grabbed a fistful of the funky fungi and shoved them into her mouth.
World's gettin' kinda groovy, baby.
'Oh yeah… Oh yeah… this is the good stuff…' she thought as a trail of drool started running down her cheek. 'Just one more… one more should do it.'
Without even thinking, Jackie poured the remaining mushrooms directly into her mouth.
That's when things got weird, baby.
XXX
(An unknown amount of time later)
Before continuing with our story, it is worth noting that the Morpheus Mushroom, so named because it was once believed to have originated from the mythical Land of Dreams, is among the most useful and most dangerous fungi in the known universe.
Useful, because when prepared properly, it is the main ingredient in over twenty thousand healing potions.
Dangerous, because when consumed in its natural state, it is one of the deadliest and most addictive psychotropic drugs in seventeen dimensions.
In fact, the addictive qualities of the Morpheus Mushroom are so powerful, that if a person consumes more than one within a seventy-two-hour period they will completely lose all self-control and devour every funky fungus they can get their hands on.
The good news for Jackie is that by this point she'd already eaten all the Morpheus Mushrooms on the island. And, as long as one doesn't feed the addiction, it eventually goes away once all the toxins have worked their way out of the body.
The bad news is that very few people have ever survived consuming that many mushrooms at once.
So… you can see why there was cause for concern.
Anywho, let's get back to Jackie and her little… odyssey.
For what felt like hours, the young skateboarder had wandered through a vast and colorful landscape.
It is impossible to put into words exactly what she was seeing, but for your benefit I shall attempt to describe it as best I can.
Imagine that Henri Rousseau painted a jungle scene based on a dream he'd had after going eleven nights without sleep. Now imagine that Salvador Dali saw this painting and decided to paint his own jungle scene based off it but in his own style. Now imagine that Pablo Picasso saw Dali's jungle scene and decided to paint something similar but in the cubist style. Now imagine that Kurt Vonnegut saw this painting and decided to write a ten-page short story describing the bizarre jungle scape but in his own words. Now imagine that Andy Warhol read this short story and decided to make a paint by numbers picture based on his interpretation of Vonnegut's descriptions. Lastly, imagine that Jackson Pollock found this paint by numbers picture and decided to color it in while high off his ass on cocaine.
For those of you with an art history major and a vivid imagination, this should be enough to give you a vague idea of what Jackie was seeing.
For everyone else, just forget about it and focus on the narrative.
At any rate, the young skateboarder was stumbling through her imaginary landscape without a care in the world; giggling like a drunk and gawking at every little thing like a first-time tourist.
Completely unaware that at any moment her heart could give out.
Fortunately, however, before this could happen, someone intervened.
"Hey, stupid!" called a gruff but even voice from out of nowhere. "Yeah, that's right! I'm taking to you, blondie!"
"Wha?" she replied in a daze. "Who said that?"
"I did, genius."
"Wh-Where are you?"
"Down here."
"Where?"
"Look down, dumbass!"
Despite her less than coherent state of mind, Jackie had enough control of herself to do as instructed. However, to her astonishment, she soon realized that the owner of the mysterious voice was, in fact, one of the wild boars that inhabited the island.
"Oh, hello there, Mr. Piggy." She said in a manner similar to that of a young child. "Do you wanna be friends?"
"Okay, first of all, my name is Stewart. Not Mr. Piggy." The talking boar said annoyedly. "And second, no, I don't wanna be friends. Partly because you smell like piss. But mostly because you and your weird looking girlfriend ate a bunch of my relatives. Including my mother."
"Oh… I'm sorry."
"Look, don't worry about it. All that matters now, is that I've been sent here by the island's King to tell you that if you don't come with me right now, you're gonna die."
"Are you threatening me?"
"No, stupid! I'm saying you just ate a bunch of poisonous mushrooms and if you don't get help soon, you're gonna die."
"Oh… I don't think I want that to happen."
"No, you don't. So, shut up and follow me."
"Okay, Mr. Piggy. I trust you."
"It's Stewart!"
"Okay, Mr. Piggy."
"UGH! It's like talking to a block of marble."
XXX
(Fifteen to twenty-seven minutes later)
As Jackie followed her porcine guide deeper and deeper into the forest, the landscape slowly became less abstract.
What's more, the closer they got to wherever Stewart was taking them, the more her mind began to clear.
By the time they were almost at their destination, Jackie was back in the real world and almost completely coherent.
"My… My… My head…." The young skateboarder said slowly as she regained her senses. "Feels like… a fog is lifting."
"Yeah, that'd be the King's work." The talking boar answered bluntly. "He's using his powers to remove most of the mushrooms' toxins from your body. But he's leaving just enough so you can still understand me."
"Uh… what?"
"Oy vey. Look, it's very simple. Those mushrooms temporarily boosted your Cosmic Awareness. That's why you can understand what I'm saying."
"Cosmic Awareness… what's that?"
"The King can explain it better than I can. So just be patent, alright."
"Okay, but can I ask you something before we get there?"
"Sigh. I guess. What is it?"
"Do animals have souls?"
"What the hell kind of question is that?"
"I don't know. I mean, most people say they don't. But you seem pretty smart, so I thought I'd ask."
"Sigh. Moron. Look, a soul isn't what you think it is, but short answer, yes. Animals have souls. In fact, all living things have souls. As do certain types of machines."
"Wow… then I guess that means I should become a vegetarian."
"No, vegetables have souls too. As do all other plants. You can't win."
"Wow… this is unbelievable. People need to know this stuff. I should tell someone."
"Good idea. Maybe you should write it all down on a golden tablet. Or better yet, maybe you should buy a farm in Guyana and serve fruit punch."
"Okay, I was just thinking out loud. You don't have to be a jerk about it."
"I think we both know that's not true. Anyway, we're here."
Suddenly, Jackie found herself standing at the base of a large and ancient looking willow tree.
She wasn't quite sure why, but something in her gut told her that his was a sacred place.
"Where are we?" she asked with quiet awe.
"We're at the center of the island. The King's domain." Stewart answered bluntly, before turning around to leave. "This is as far as I go, so good luck. And try not to stare. He hates that."
"What do you mean?"
But alas, the talking boar had already departed. So, with no one else to talk to and no other options available, Jackie decided to push on ahead and meet this so-called King.
Once beneath the ancient tree's ethereal canopy, the young skateboarder's ears were struck by a peculiar, yet strangely familiar sound. On a reflex, she looked up and there, reclining on one of the high branches, was the being from her dreams; the great wilderness god, Pan himself.
Only… something wasn't quite right.
In all the pictures she'd seen, Pan was never playing a ukulele.
Nor was he sporting a big, jet black pompadour.
Or wearing sunglasses.
Or a Hawaiian shirt.
Or a speedo.
What the hell?
"Oh, hey! You made it." The strange goat-man said in a robust and swaggering voice. "You had me worried there for a second. I thought you might be dead."
"No, I-I'm alive. And I'm sorry to make you wait, but… who are you?"
"What, didn't Stewart tell you? I'm the King around these parts, baby. So, in a word, I rule."
End Notes:
This chapter was a lot more fun to write than the last one.
I hope you all liked it.
Anyway, thanks for reading and I'll see you in the next one.
Peace.