Everything'll be fine. Everything's gonna be okay.
Mitsuha spent just about the entire train ride home thinking to herself, telling herself that everything would work out. But that sliver of doubt in the back of her head plagued all of her positive thoughts. She knew her grandmother was stubborn. And quick to jump to conclusions. Much like most grandmothers. With all of this uncertainty growing, she couldn't help but wonder if she'd seen Taki for the last time. At least for a long time. And the thought of being separated from him again pained her greatly.
It's not fair. I went 8 years without him. And now I find him and I'm the happiest I've ever been. Why is he being taken from me? WHY?!
She acknowledged the fact that within a matter of a few hours, she had become attached to Taki to the hip. He was so deeply engrained in her heart and her soul that pulling them apart would induce unbearable pain on her. And soon enough, her uncertainty evolved into fear and desperation.
I need Taki…I need him…what do I do without him?
When the train announced that her stop would be the next one, her beating heart sent a shockwave through her body that put her in a very weakened state. It wouldn't be before long that she would have to face her grandmother. To try to plead her case and change her mind about her love. Or possibly make a decision. No…my mind's been made up. There was no decision to be made; it was already set in stone.She knew that she might have to tell her grandmother something that would shatter her heart. And sever their ties. After so many years together.
Taki-kun…just know I'm doing this for you…
It wouldn't be pretty. There would be tears shed. A lot of screaming and a lot of anguish. It was going to be hard to say goodbye to her grandmother, period. Let alone under circumstances like this. But Mitsuha wasn't about to let herself endure the same loneliness she suffered for 8 years again. Enough was enough. She deserved to be happy.
It took her until she reached the front door of her house to realize that she was placing all of her chips down on Taki. Taking a huge gamble and pushing her entire previous life behind her. Just for this one man. There was no in the world she would know for sure if Taki would be able to take care of her for the rest of her like. At least the way she wished for.
He's worth it, though. I don't need my past life.
And as she traversed up the steps of her porch, she stopped to think about what was about to happen. And mentally braced herself for the most emotional conflict she'd ever been a part of.
It's all or nothing, Obaa-san.
When she reached for the door handle, she heard a voice from behind her call out. It was a younger girl's voice. One she knew very well.
"ONEE-CHAN!"
Mitsuha peered behind her to see Yotsuha coming up the steps as well. And for whatever reason, she felt like she was seeing her for the first time in a while, too. Perhaps the time she spent with Taki last night felt like it lasted for at least a few years.
"Y'know, I've never been too concerned with what you do on your own time, so it's weird that I'm starting now. Where were you last night?"
"I'm uh…I'm…I'm about to explain everything to Obaa-san."
"Hmmm. Well, are you okay? You weren't, like, hurt or anything, were you?"
"Yotsuha, I…I can't even begin to describe how last night went. It was the most wonderful night I've ever experienced…I honestly had never felt so happy."
"Mmhmm, yeah, yeah. Well, I'm not even gonna begin to think about what you could mean by that."
"Well, what were you doing out, then?"
"I went for coffee with my friends. And you know what, Obaa-san was totally okay with it. Because I actually told her where I was going."
Mitsuha just looked at the ground in guilt. As old and grown-up as Yotsuha was, she was still a granddaughter. And Mitsuha could only feel pretty terrible for putting her grandmother through some grief. But as much as she wanted to make her grandmother feel better, she couldn't shake her decision. She couldn't go back on her promise to Taki. Or the promise to herself, rather.
I'm sorry, Obaa-san. But it's time for me to make my own decisions.
Her first sight after she pulled the door open was none other than her grandmother. Sitting down and watching the morning news. The noise of Mitsuha's entrance attracted Hitoha's attention. So when her eyes met with Mitsuha's, she felt all sorts of feelings of relief, but the only one she could express was disappointment. She stared coldly and Mitsuha, who just looked at the ground as she made her way over to where Hitoha was sitting. The sharp gaze persisted, and only cut through Mitsuha more sharply when their eyes met again.
"What happened to you, Mitsuha? What happened to my wonderful granddaughter? Hmm? The one who wouldn't engage in such…barbaric activities. Staying out late. Drinking until you can't think. SLEEPING AT ANOTHER MAN'S HOUSE! I never thought you could disappoint me like this."
"Obaa-san…I…I should have told you. And I'm very regretful about that. I'm sorry that I didn't let you know where I was going."
"I don't think you realized how much I worried. Mitsuha…I hope you know that you and Yotsuha are all I have left. We don't have our traditions anymore. We don't have our shrine anymore. None of what I had before is here any longer. I do not like this new world I've been forced into. I would at least hope that you could respect that. And not leave me in a state of concern. Like the way you did."
"I…you're right. I should've told yo-"
"You shouldn't have gone out in the first place. Your place is here with your family. Who else will take care of you like this? Who else will always support you?"
"Well, that's what I wanted to talk to you abou-"
"If this is about that man…there is nothing to discuss. I'm going to make myself very clear, Mitsuha. You will no longer come in contact with that…that…mongrel."
"Obaa-san…with all due respect, you could not be any more wrong about Taki."
"His name means nothing to me. All I need to know about him is that he tainted you. And marked you with shame."
"He did not taint me, Obaa-san!"
"Do NOT raise your voice at your grandmother. Have you no respect? Or did that degenerate strip those from you, too, along with your honor and self-discipline?"
"Obaa-san…I…I don't know what to say."
"I do. You should be saying 'Obaa-san, I apologize. I committed a very dire sin, and will never perform anything so toxic ever again'"
Mitsuha's frustration and angst began to climb; her eyebrows furrowed and her hands clenched into fists, all without her even realizing it. Even as old as Hitoha was, and as long as Mitsuha subjected herself to her family's traditions without question, and obeyed her grandmother's wishes, she continued to exhibit stubbornness and close-mindedness. She had so many things prepared in her head to plead Taki's case, and undo her grandmother's impressions of him. But she decided to abandon it altogether. And rip the Band-Aid off.
"If that's how you feel, and if that's your idea of having me live the rest of my life, stuck in a cage and attached to feudal traditions for the rest of my life…then I'm leaving."
The words crushed Hitoha's heart like a hammer. Mere moments after being relieved of the grief and stress of not knowing where her granddaughter was, she was struck with the thought of her granddaughter disappearing forever.
"M-…M-…MITSUHA!"
"I'm done…I've made up my mind…you've kept me on this leash for too long. I've been tied down to the point where I'm suffocating. My life…is so colorless. In Itomori, it was tradition this, tradition that. And we move out here. And for 8 years…"
"THOSE WERE YOUR FAMILY CUSTOMS AND TRADITIONS, MITSUHA! ARE YOU TO ABANDON THEM WITH NO REMORSE?"
Hitoha's voice inflection was a very unique combination of pleading and desperation with fury and anger. It wasn't anything that Mitsuha had ever heard before. Of course they would get into their debates. About how Mitsuha should be living her life. And how many times her requests to be more open and more outgoing were shot down by her traditionalist grandmother. But after meeting Taki, she had enough. When the memories of the sake ceremonies replayed in her head, it all but reinforced her disdain for her past life. That kind of humiliation. And she realized that it wasn't just Taki she was missing. It was the color, the variety, the excitement. And Taki brought all of those to her. So the idea of leaving everything behind to live a more stimulating life seemed that much more enticing to her. But even so, what Taki said to her earlier came charging in from the back of her head. And then the severity of leaving her grandmother and the emotional repercussions started to battle her instinctual desires.
What if Taki was right, though? What if I can't shake off the guilt?
"Mitsuha…you dare leave your grandmother…after everything done for you…after everything that was provided for you and all of the love and support you could've asked for…you're willing to throw it all away? For a man who will not take care of you?"
"Obaa-san…I tried to tell you. I want to be able to explain to you everything about Taki. How amazing he is, how happy he makes me. And above all, how capable he is of taking care of me forever. Obaa-san…this is…this is the boy I was dreaming with so many years ago. To you he may be a complete stranger…but to me, he's been my best friend and my partner for years. I know his intentions and I know what's in his heart. He loves me, and I love him more. I may never find anyone like him ever again."
Suddenly, Hitoha began to remember when she herself experienced the dreaming phenomenon. And the bond and friendship she'd established with the other person. How well they meshed together. But with that, the feeling of regret of not being able to meet the other side of her dream returned to her. She knew she could've been very close friends with this person, but never got the chance to. The feeling of resentment towards Taki was still strong, and she deep down resented the idea of them being together. But she also realized that Mitsuha was now at the point in her life where she deserves to find love.
I see. She was able to find that person after all. Well. Who would I be to take that away?
"Well, then, Mitsuha-chan. If that's what you really want, if that's what your heart truly desires…then I cannot stop you. You do as you wish."
"Obaa-san…"
"When you get to my age, sometimes you become oblivious to certain things. Like how fast your grandchildren can grow up. If you truly don't need your old grandmother anymore…"
"It's not that I don't need you, Obaa-san! I just…"
"It's alright, Mitsuha, I understand. I just can't take care of you anymore."
Now all of the sudden, she wanted to just stay with her grandmother and comfort her. And to not abandon her. For all of the time she just spent arguing and resisting her, all of her now wanted to just end the quarrel and go back to the way things were. And she wasn't sure why. So she wasn't sure what to say. Just a minute ago, Hitoha was stomping on everything she had to say, and now almost out of nowhere, she was fine with her leaving to be with Taki? What made her change her mind?
"Obaa-san, I'm not leaving, I'm…I didn't mean what I said earlier."
"Oh, Mitsuha. Don't make this any harder on your old grandmother. I'm already having a hard enough time letting you go as it is. Go. Go on."
The tears began to form in both their eyes. They'd spent so much time with each other that they had almost lost track of how many years had gone by. And perhaps the day that they would separate came faster than either of them had anticipated. And unsurprisingly, neither were ready. Nor willing to accept that reality. But oddly enough, Hitoha had underwent a complete change of heart. Despite every ounce of her heart and body wanting Mitsuha to stay with her, she knew it wasn't fair to inhibit her maturation anymore. She was 25 now. Similarly, Mitsuha knew it was time too. Her familial attachment to her grandmother made the current moment much more difficult. After this was someone who had taken care of her for about 13 years now. But she loved Taki too much to wait. She wanted him, and she wanted him now.
Deep down, they both knew that it wasn't goodbye. So that made it a little easier.
"Obaa-san…I love you so much."
"I love you too, Mitsuha-chan. I'm sorry for being so stubborn. I guess my granddaughter was growing up a little faster than I would've liked. I blame old age."
"I…you will love Taki. I promise you. I will show you how amazing he is. And…you'll…I hope I'll be able to see how happy you are that he's your grandson-in-law."
Hitoha almost winced. Taken aback that Mitsuha had already set her heart of marrying this man. The man that, despite Mitsuha's pleas, poisoned and corrupted her beloved granddaughter. Someone who would never ever be fit to bear a place in the Miyamizu line. But even so, deep down, she was hoping she would be proven wrong.
"Only time will tell." Hitoha let out a weak smile, with tears streaming down her cheeks. She knew every parent at some point goes through this. In fact this would be her second time. But of course, her own daughter was no longer with them. Maybe that's why it was so much harder this time around.
Mitsuha ran out of things to say. Hitoha was almost inconsolable at this point. She figured it would be best to carry on and make her way out. So she collected some of her belongings, like her phone charger, clothes and accessories, and some other personal items. When she was exiting the house, she looked back at her grandmother, who was despondent and in need of some solitude. She figured best thing to do would be to move on and give her time. And perhaps try to reach out to her in the future. Whenever that may be.
Without even thinking, her body carried itself to the subway station, instinctually intent on finding Taki. And she couldn't help but smile knowing that it wouldn't take 8 years this time. She had his number after all.
Ultimately, Mitsuha accomplished what she intended to. She made it very clear to her grandmother what she ultimately desired, and that it was time that she pursue it. And not be held down by attachments to the past. But despite the relatively tranquil departure, she knew deep down that she'd hurt her grandmother. That level of grief and resistance was new to her. She'd never seen that from Hitoha before. Even with her words of approval in the end, she thought maybe it was just a veil of emotions. To rip off the bandage and make the pain dissipate quicker. And before long she began to wonder if her grandmother would ever speak to each other again. Her heart starting screaming at her, hoping that she would be proven wrong.
Maybe I'm not ready for this. Maybe I rushed things.
But it was too late. The damage had already been done. Her grandmother was now in a very vulnerable state. Any more hits to her already fragile heart would irreversibly destroy her. And Mitsuha knew she was horrible with saying the right thing. In most cases, even when she's stable. But in very sensitive situations like these, there's no way she can win. Not with the way she is emotionally.
But somehow in the midst of all this heartfelt haywire, she remembered she never said goodbye to Yotsuha. Yotsuha! So she turned around, following her heart, and took steps out of the station. She just about made it to the entrance before, as if on cue, she received a text message from none other than Yotsuha.
'Hey, big sis. Well, the tension in the house is pretty high right now, thanks a lot. But for what it's worth we all know deep down that you're not really going away. You're just moving into a new part of your life that's all. No matter what you might think Obaa-san and I will always love you and support you. No matter what. I'll see you whenever, onee-chan.'
The burden coming off of Mitsuha's heart and shoulders made her feel weightless. Even when she knew in her heart that she wasn't going away forever, seeing that her only other family understood relieved her in a way she never knew existed. So with that, she found the courage to get in touch with Taki again. For what was only about a half hour since they last saw each other, her heart craved him like a starved animal. This insane feeling of deprivation intensified. With haste, she called Taki.
Hello? Mitsuha?
Her heart fluttered when he picked up. The very first dial tone was cut off, which all but meant that he was waiting for her to contact him. Which made her very, very happy.
"Taki-kun…I…I need to see you right now. I need my Taki."
Wherever you are, I'll race there. Where are you?
"Actually. I had a place in mind. Would you mind meeting me somewhere?"
Somehow, in his heart, Taki knew that he would be coming here with Mitsuha at some point. The morning after, though, was a little sooner than he'd expected. It was the café that he'd spent so much time with with his friends in high school. The spare moments between the end of school and his shift at the restaurant were spent here. And of course, he knew Mitsuha was familiar with this place too. Having spent a great amount of Taki's money here. And putting unnecessary pounds on him. In fact, he'd almost come to not like the place altogether. But the sentiments still persisted. The memories of him and his friends. And of course, this was a place that connected him and Mitsuha, ultimately.
As he approached the outside patio area, he found his beautiful girlfriend, standing and waiting. They greeted each other and without even having a chance to stop themselves met lips for a kiss. It was Saturday, so of course the café had a slightly above moderate level of traffic. Which meant a little bit of a wait. So Mitsuha nestled herself under Taki's arm, placing it around her shoulders, and leaning her head against the side of his chest. Taki himself rested the side of his head on Mitsuha's, and they stood like that for the time until a table cleared up.
And in concordance with the weekend, it was that table. The one in the very middle of the building that Taki, and Mitsuha for that matter, would sit and kill time with his friends. Sitting down here brought back memories, and somehow brought Taki and Mitsuha closer.
"This is the first time…we're here together."
"I know…I know"
Mitsuha scooted her chair right next to Taki's, and pulled out her phone.
"Taki…this is our first picture together."
"I know. Let's make it count."
They leaned closer together to fit in the view of the front-facing camera, and in one take, Mitsuha took a perfect selfie of the two of them. By others' standards, they were both attractive individuals, but something about being together in one picture made them shine and glisten more than normal.
After admiring it for a few seconds, Mitsuha proceeded to send the picture to Yotsuha. With a short caption with it:
'Please show this to Obaa-san. Let her know I'm in good hands. You both will love him.'
A/N: Alrighty, fellas. That's enough of the serious story. For now. There was about a hundred different ways I wanted to play this out, but for some reason this one was the one my fingers put out. I wasn't sure about making her grandma a grouch. She definitely didn't seem that way in the movie. But then again, I thought maybe the embitterment of Mitsuha's mom dying and her dad leaving would make her behavior in this chapter make sense. This chapter was actually really hard to write, since it was pretty serious in tone, and ultimately not really that much happened. Again, just something I'll work on. As always, thank you so much if you've read this far. The drastic shift in setting and tone probably killed off any consistency this fic had. But oh well. I wanted to thank everyone for 20 likes and follows, it's definitely a number I never thought this fic would reach, but it's given me fuel to keeping pumping these out. Hopefully with school out of the way, the quality on these will improve at least slightly (it can really only go up from here). Again, thanks a ton if you've read this far. It means a lot. See y'all in the next one, whenever that is. Cheers.
