Chapter 5

Have you ever been to a restaurant that was really dirty and dimly lit and the food was disgusting and the service was terrible and thought, 'What a shithole!"?

What about a hair salon where the only hairstyle they cut was cornrows, even though all you really wanted was a nice trim to neaten up your hair, but the bitch hairdresser insisted upon giving you cornrows that end up looking horrible?

Then perhaps you'd know what travelling through Viridian Forest with Cooper was like for me.

No wait. That's too kind.

Imagine you're at a ball game, except all the players are Clefairy and instead of playing they all just dance around holding hands singing their annoying fucking song, before they proceed to touch each other inappropriately, right in the stand in front of you, and though you try to look away all you can see in your mind are throbbing, gyrating, pink pokemon phalluses, sullying your thoughts and invading your mind!

That's what travelling with Cooper felt like. One time I even told him that his presence had brought images of erect pink cocks to my mind. He just beamed at me, and decided to make orgasm sounds for the rest of the day.

Back to the story at hand, Viridian Forest (for the uneducated among you), had once been the most dangerous place in all of Kanto, inhabited by the most powerful pokemon in the region, due to its nigh impregnable tree line. For decades new trainers (and old ones too) were warned against travelling through it, told instead to take the much more picturesque Mt Moon to get to Pewter. It wasn't until a new Champion took power, about 50 years ago, and single handed, gouged a path through the forest, setting up ranger patrols and finally allowing travel between Pewter and Viridian that the forest saw human visitation. This was to be the first of many reforms the young champion would make before finally ceding the throne and settling down to open up a pokemon lab in Pallet.

The now traversable Viridian swiftly became the favoured route for trainer circuits, both due to its access to one of the badge cities and also due to the variety of rare and powerful pokemon often found off the beaten path, however even the great Samuel Oak hadn't managed to fully tame the forest. It still had the highest death rate for trainers in all of Kanto, and the rangers stationed along the border feared to visit certain parts of the forest. Ancient hollows, unsullied by man's eyes for millennia.

So of course on my first trek through Viridian Forest I found myself in one such hollow, but that's a little ahead yet.

The first few weeks of the forest had been uneventful enough, Cooper and I had stuck to the path quite religiously, and the grim environment seemed to put a damper on Cooper's mood, meaning any conversation we had was curt and to the point. It was like a dream come true.

When we stopped to sleep, he kept his Psyduck on watch, along with Artemis, whilst we ate our cold rations then bedded down. I had even attempted to train with Artemis a couple times but the muggy silence really seemed to drain enthusiasm. It was so bad that I had suspected there were ghost pokemon following us, feeding off our energy, but Cooper just flashed one of his now rare smiles and told me he'd know if that were the case. Even still, I always looked over my shoulder and refused to go take a piss unless Artemis came along too. Just in case.

Cooper would always laugh at me when I returned, but even these seemed hollow and forced. There was no way around it; Viridian Forest was just a scary place.

A couple times when we stopped for the day I would consider releasing Felicity, but I was somewhat reluctant to see her again, until I had worked out a plan to get her to respect me. Besides she wouldn't have found much enjoyment in this environment anyway.

And so it continued that way until about halfway by Cooper's 'internal navigational system', which is just pretentious talk for 'blind fucking guess'. We'd been walking for about 3 hours when Cooper stiffened, holding up his hand. A little shocked by the evident fear on his face, I complied.

Minutes ticked by, and I drew breath to tell him off, when I was tackled around the waist into the undergrowth by none other than the pink dick himself!

I had barely managed to grumble "Whaddya doin-"when his hand came up and covered my mouth. Fortunately I'd seen enough movies to know that when your experienced, albeit extravagant and annoying, guide tries to keep you quiet in one of the most dangerous places in Kanto, you damned well bite your tongue.

Just as well I had, for no less than a few seconds later, a man came stumbling down the path, panting heavily and screaming for help. I was wondering who he was calling to, when it hit me like a water gun! My backpack was on the path right next to our hiding place! I must have dropped it there when Cooper tackled me!

The man, who by now had reached my pack, looked around him but somehow didn't see us through the foliage. Perhaps because Cooper was right on top of me, and his outfit seemed to blend seamlessly with the environment.

Knowing the danger was nothing more than a lone ranger (for by this point I noticed he was wearing the uniform), I made to get up, only to be stopped by Cooper's ironclad grip on me. Once again, my delayed decision to talk saved our lives, as just before I could protest to my entrapment, I heard a buzzing.

Correction, I heard the buzzing.

In Viridian Forest, one of the most common forms of death is caused by Beedrill. The persistent pokemon seemed to enjoy setting up their hives closer to the path than any other pokemon. I think it's out of spite for humans. That's what I'd do if I was a Beedrill.

When you were travelling Viridian Forest, there was one thing that even the lowliest of uninformed trainers knew, and that was 'Buzzing = Bad'.

It seemed, however, that the injured ranger had been too engrossed in looking for us that he failed to notice the buzzing until the source of said noise was bearing down on him. He tried to get up and run but my pack, which had led to him being distracted now wanted to be the source of his downfall, entangling itself in his legs and tripping him up.

I couldn't see much from my vantage point with Cooper on top of me, but I certainly heard it, which is somewhat of an unfortunate miracle itself considering the deafening buzzing that overruled everything else. Screams of fear turned to shrieks of pain, which eventually became blood gurgled cries and finally nothing. Nothing but buzzing. Then a strange squelching sound that I didn't realise until later was the sound of the ranger being torn apart to be more easily carried away to the hive.

We didn't move an inch throughout the entire process, though I could feel my own heart thumping a conga beat against Cooper's chest, and his own heart returning in kind. Even after all the buzzing had died down to be replaced once more by the omnipresent silence, we didn't move.

I'm not sure how much longer we stayed that way, until Cooper wordlessly lifted himself up and walked back to the path, and I followed suit.

What remained was a bloodied mess of clothes and whatever gore the Beedrill hadn't taken with them. On top of my fucking backpack.

"Guess I won't be using that backpack anymore." I muttered to myself, just out of habit. Cooper chuckled to himself nervously and flashed me the first genuine smile of our trek through the forest. I smiled back, but I couldn't stop thinking about the new side to Cooper I'd seen today.

He'd let a man get gored to death by a swarm of Beedrill.

My false smile faltered.

And so had I.

We decided to backtrack a bit before settling down to camp. Or rather, Cooper did. I was still replaying the events over in my head and unable to process much. Cooper had to shove some of his food rations into my mouth himself to get me to snap out of it and eat. When had it gotten so dark? I didn't even notice.

"You need to eat, to help break out of shock." Cooper muttered around a mouthful of jerky.

Thankfully I was hungry enough to be able to eat without feeling sick.

Cooper came and sat next to me. I shuffled away a bit and was met with an, almost contained, sigh.

"Are you angry with me?"

"No."

"If we'd moved to help him, we'd be dead right now."

"I know."

Silence.

Cooper was in the process of moving when I finally managed to form a sentence, "Does that…" I faltered, took a breath and tried again, "Does that sort of thing happen often in the wild?"

Relief was apparent on his face as he sat back down next to me. I didn't shuffle away this time.

"In some places", he began cautiously, "But you already knew that I'm sure."

I did, but just hearing Cooper talk about something was better than the silence.

He continued on, "though it shouldn't have happened on the path, and a ranger certainly shouldn't have been caught out like that, usually it's unprepared trainers." He cracked a grin. Forced, but still there, before joking, "The ones that aren't lucky enough to have handsome guides, that is."

I just stared back into his eyes and deadpanned, "So why did that happen then?"

His smile dropped faster than a Snorlax off a cliff.

"I don't know."

I think those three words scared me more than all the Beedrill swarms in the world.

Once more he smiled again, just as a nervous habit, "So I don't think we'll be taking the main path anymore. Fortunately for you, I happen to know a bunch of less travelled routes, that'll both save us time and help us avoid a painful death at the hands of small winged demons. We'll just have to be, like, super cautious, and avoid unnecessary chit-chat."

I didn't even have the energy to make some snappy retort.

We shared a sleeping bag that night. I'd like to think it's because mine was inside my pack which I had been reluctant to touch, but I don't think either of us had wanted to sleep alone after the day we'd had.

I did manage to get some small sense of normalcy when Artemis found both of us together to be too big of a target to resist aggressing with that pokefucking torch. And I found no small amount of satisfaction to see the obvious discomfort on Cooper's face, whose response to my grin was to tickle me relentlessly until tears streamed from my eyes. My loyal pokemon ever vigilant just watched this torture unfold without batting a metaphorical eyelid.

It was nice, if a bit strained, but it was exactly what we needed to fall asleep.

A quick breakfast of snack bars and berries was the only reprieve awaiting us as we woke up. Well, that and the satisfying 'oof' sound I managed to extract from Artemis when I 'tripped' and landed on her.

The events of yesterday hovered over us like a pink Donphan, coming to the forefront of my mind when I was forced to deal with my stinking bag. Acutely aware of Cooper's eyes on me, I ignored his offer to sort through it for me, with commendable fortitude, and forced myself not to gag as I dumped the contents on the ground.

Most of the outside stuff was ruined and stuck together with gore, however some of my covered food and money was still useable, and though my sleeping bag was a bit funky smelling, I was damned if I was going to ask Cooper to share his sleeping bag again.

All in all I managed to salvage about 3 days' worth of food, all of my money, most of my potions and pokeballs and a disgusting, sticky sleeping bag. I buried the rest.

Cooper walked up behind me while I was burying it all, to be roughly shooed away. I didn't need his fucking pity. So with nothing to do he busied himself with his maps, no doubt trying to find the safest and quickest route for us.

Holding all my stuff in my hands, I walked right up to him and dumped it in his lap. "We're going to need to find food on the way, because I only have enough for 3 more days."

He pulled a face, trying to avoid any contact with my sleeping bag, and responded "I've been looking at our options, and without the main path, it could take us at the very least a fortnight to get out of here, unless…" He trailed off as he ordered his Psyduck to hose down my sleeping bag.

I waited for him to finish out of courtesy, and accepted his offer to have Homer wash down my hands too, which had been sticky ever since I sorted through my pack.

After returning his Psyduck, he took out his map and motioned for me to come closer, "Unless we want to take some risks." He finished. With his finger he traced out the main path that we had been planning to take, "The original path isn't actually a straight beeline to Pewter like most people believe, it goes direct from Viridian, however just before reaching Pewter it takes a massive turn and curves around, ending up much further east of the city than it needs to." He indicated the path which wrapped around a circular area of his map that had been coloured a darker green than the rest of the forest.

I motioned for him to continue, which he obliged, "It seems even Samuel Oak knew there were some parts of the forest that he shouldn't fuck with, and so when he created the path, he curved to the right so as to avoid one of these places."

"Thanks for the history lesson, but we're burning heavily filtered, dim forest light here"

Nodding to himself, Cooper traced an alternate route with his finger from our location to the start of the beeline, "For whatever reason it seems a Beedrill hive has taken up residence on the main path somewhere ahead of us, so I suggest we continue on, adjacent to the path, but far enough away that we won't run into any little bugsies," he continued tracing a path with his finger, up until the dark green zone, before tracing a route in the opposite direction of the main path.

"Why do we need to go around this dark green area anyway?"

Smiling his equivalent of a withering look, Cooper looked me right in the eyes, "You're suggesting we try and travel through the part of the forest that Samuel Oak avoided in his prime?"

I blinked. "Point taken."

Cooper returned his attention to the map, tracing a path around the western perimeter of the dark zone, before heading north and skirting the eastern perimeter of yet another dark green zone, this one bigger than the last. "It's quite unknown, the rangers don't even have it on any maps, but there's a small path that heads around the other side of the dark zone, and almost directly to Pewter. The reason it's untraveled has largely to do with the massive 'fuck you' of danger that comes along with this second dark zone. Even edging around the perimeter is a massive gamble, but if we can make it past there, it's quite literally a direct route to Pewter."

I examined his face as I asked, "Have you ever taken this path before?"

His eye twitched, before he looked up at me and grinned, "Once. Just once. But it'll save us over a week in travel time."

I realised that I had become familiar enough with Cooper to know when he was grinning out of fear, and felt a strange mix of pride and self loathing, "Can't we just ration our food and hunt for it on the main path?" I queried.

His grin widened. My stomach dropped.

"We could," He started, "But if there's rangers being attacked by Beedrill on the main path of all places, then it means something's going on. Something that I'd rather try to avoid at all costs."

I looked down at the dark green zone. "At all costs," I murmured.

And that's the story of how Cooper and I decided to enter the heart of Viridian.