Cas and Dean are sat at the dining table, in the bunker. They're trying their best to explain things to Sam, but its not exactly the easiest thing to explain. What doesn't help, is that Dean doesn't exactly know how or why it all happened either – andhewitnessed
everything.

"why would you do that, Cas?" Sam cant help but question how Cas thinks he is more useful without his powers.

"you wouldn't understand, Sam," Castiel seems to brush Sam's concerns off almost instantly.

"try me."

"look, in my world," Castiel begins, trying to think of a way to explain the glory that is heaven to two non-angels. "I don't know how you'd put it… up there…"

"just spit it out Cas!" Sam is getting very impatient now

"Sam," Dean reigns in his brothers temper.

"up there," Cas begins again, "its different, okay? You know, its like, the grass is blue, and the sky is green"

"We don't care about the colour of the freaking grass, Cas!" Sam argues.

"Sam! Will you just hear the guy out?" Dean struggles to contain his brothers anger.

"I knew I should feel afraid," Castiel calmly admits, aiming his explanation at Dean, seeing Sam is a lost cause right now. "but the only thing I could feel is relief."

"but why would you do it, Cas?" Dean cant help but wonder the reasoning behind losing such a huge part of Castiel's personality.

"because I love you, Dean," Castiel says with a smile.

A huge grin beams across Dean's face, whilst Sam finds himself rolling his eyes.

"that's pretty stupid of you," Dean replies with a smile.

Dean leans across and gives Castiel a quick peck on the lips.

Dean gets up from his seat. "Im gonna jump in the shower," he declares, before walking out of the room.

Castiel watches Dean leave with a smile on his face. He turns back around, to find Sam staring at him with his arms crossed.

"Come on then," Sam calmly demands, "whats the real reason?"

"I don't know what you mean," Cas replies.

"the real reason, Cas," Sam repeats. "none of this I love Dean crap. Why did you fall? Honestly."

"I didn't have a choice, Sam," Castiel admits.

"This sounds more like it," Sam accepts, leaning back in his chair, ready to listen.

"When I left you guys a few years back, it was because Heaven got mad. They told me I was never allowed back on Earth. Like never," you could see that Castiel had been holding this story in for a long time. "It took some time, but I won them round. They
/let me visit Earth again, but on one condition."

"which was what?" Sam is sounding a lot more sympathetic now. He could see the relief on Castiel's face, having held all these thoughts and feelings back for so long. He could see the human emotions shining through already.

"I was to stay away from you…" Cas paused a little as he recalled the warning he had been given, "and from Dean. As far as they were concerned, I was making the Winchesters a priority over Heaven. And that was not acceptable."

"but that was ages ago, Cas," Sam questions, "what does that have to do with you falling now"

"After the warning, I laid low for a bit. I saw you guys, but I tried to keep my distance. But that just made me want to be around him more."

Castiel looked up at Sam, looking him straight in the eye.

"I missed him. I missed, Dean," he admitted, with a half smile on his face.

"But you can imagine how Heaven reacted," the sadness fell back over Castiel's face again. "They demanded me back up there. I told Dean I had to leave on heaven business and he accepted that.I thought that was going to be goodbye. I had finally become
/a Winchester and now this was going to be the end of me."

Sam could see the emotions taking over in Castiel's face, he could hear it in his voice, as it began to break.

"its okay, Cas," Sam takes a hold of Castiel's hand, and tries to catch his gaze, reassuring him. "You're safe now"

"they warned me not to fall in love with Dean, and I didn't listen," Castiel muttered guiltily.

"did they really think you would listen?"

"the thing is, Sam, Heaven didn't even cross my mind," Cas looks Sam in the face, being brutally honest with him for the first time in… well, ever.

"When I'm with Dean, Heaven doesn't matter. None of that stuff does. And then we got married. And it was the best day of my life. And life's a long time, for an angel."

"But I knew I had to face it. I went back up there and I told them straight," the authority is now clear in Castiel's voice. He means business.

"I told them I would never give Dean up, not for anyone."

Sam realises what Castiel is saying. And he cant help but smile.

"so they made you choose – Heaven or... Dean."

"yeah."

The room falls quiet for a minute. Neither or them really knowing what to say. But then Castiel suddenly realises. This is Dean's brother. And he just told him everything he didn't want Dean to know.

"Sam," fear suddenly falls across Castiel's face. "Dean can never know all of this. He can never know what I went through for him. He would hate it."

"Cas, you still don't get it do you?" Sam says, with a natural smile spreading across his face."it's not the fact that you're an angel he loves. Its you, Cas. Its just you."

Castiel simply looks up at Sam, not really sure what he means. Being an angel is all that Cas ever was. What could Dean love about Cas that is anything but part of his angelic being?

"you must really love him," Sam confirms, watching the confusion on Castiel's face.

"from the bottom of my heart."

"careful," Sam laughs a little, "that almost sounded human."

Sam gets up from his seat and begins to walk out of the room. He taps Castiel on the shoulder as he passes him

"you did good, Cas."