A/N: A huuuge thank you for Fai's smile for pointing out how inadequate the Czech google translate translation was!
Joseph's fingers were shaking as he tentatively cleaned his boss' wound. This was not what he wanted to be doing. This was the reason he didn't sign up for an offworld team. He liked safe. He liked quiet. The first-aid training wasn't even an attempt at bravery on his part - it was taken purely on a dare from an insanely cute engineer he worked with a few years back. The girl never went out with him. But he had to admit, he was grateful for how it turned out today.
It appeared that the vest slowed the bullet down, which might have saved McKay's ribs from snapping entirely and puncturing his lung. Mallozzi didn't know what drove the scientist to grab for it when he did but it was clearly another stroke of the man's genius. The weapon he's been shot from was crude and didn't have much fire power, but the projectile's velocity was enough to break through tactical gear, which meant that without it McKay might have been long dead by now.
His patient, looking a bit dazed, lay unmoving under his nervous ministrations. Well, maybe not unmoving, the man seemed to be in constant motion all his life. He trembled lightly and flinched every time Joseph touched him but it was safe to say that they expected more… everything. More complaints. More pained lamenting? Squirming? In the labs, he seemed like such a complete wuss, it was unbelievable that he not only didn't admit to the injury but ran and walked with it for nearly an hour without emitting as much as a peep.
Oh, they knew very well that his grating, loud personality was a well-honed mask. No one was naturally this daunting. But only now did it start to occur to Mallezzi that this abrasive veneer might be something more than a way to gain attention.
"This is going to hurt," he said apologetically, as he showed the physicist the disinfectant fished from the vest's first-aid kit. McKay's Adam's apple bobbed heavily but he nodded, his gaze scared. They looked at each other for a moment longer and Joseph realized in this moment why Dr McKay avoided eye contact with people. Because suddenly Mallozzi understood that his eyes were the poster case of the whole 'eyes being the window of the soul' thing.
"I swear to god, If you're hitting on me right now, you'll be buried in waste recycling projects for the rest of your stay on Atlantis," Rodney muttered after a moment. "Stop with the eyeballing, pour the damn thing and let's get this over with."
Joseph flushed heavily, even more so when he heard a few sniggers behind him. Ducking his head, he focused back on the task at hand, as he doused the wound with the disinfectant.
McKay jerker under his hands and if it weren't for Zelenka holding his arms, would have probably bolted away completely. As it was, his fists clenched at the jumper he was holding up as his muscles spasmed, emitting a guttural growl. Joseph could swear he heard his teeth grating as the scientist looked around wildly, probably afraid of how much noise he was making.
Still, he was holding up admirably. Joseph was impressed, knowing first-hand how alcohol burned on open wounds. Still, the noises were not pretty in any way and he could hear people behind him make various noises of distress. Zelenka looked green with worry.
"That was fun," McKay ground out after a long moment, his nostrils flaring. "Let's not do that ever again, ever."
"Yes sir, I'll happily agree," he answered with fake lightness, as he gently applied one of their last dressings.
Miko came back to a silent horror show. Just a moment ago she was eager to happily report her findings but terror replaced her optimism as she saw her brave, genius boss choking on a pained moan before their eyes. Her respect for him grew ten times that moment. And then she realized that she's been staring at his exposed abdomen, covered in blood as it was, but still, naked for her to see.
Her cheeks flushed crimson and she had to turn away. She prayed that none of them saw that, she wouldn't bear for them to see her dishonoring this man with her thoughts.
"Hey, Miko," she heard behind her and froze. Turning slowly, she looked at Harriet Hewston with mortification.
"Scary, right? I couldn't watch either, I'm really bad with blood," the other woman continued. "I hope that's the worst of it. Did you find anything?"
"Y-yes… yes," Miko gasped out, cursing her squeaky voice.
"Oh, great, we could use a break. I don't think we'll be getting much farther before dark. Dr McKay, Miko found a hideout!"
"Marvelous," the man muttered sourly as Zelenka slowly helped him to his feet. "Is it far?"
"A few kilometers in the direction we're headed, Dr McKay," Miko answered timidly, wringing her hands. "A hillside cave, should be big enough to fit us all for the night."
"Ugh, that's exactly what I needed, another cave," he grumbled and Miko's stomach dropped. He was displeased. She failed again!
"All right, lead the way, Doctor Kusanagi."
Somewhere from the group of scientists she heard "how did she make kilometers in such a short time? Did she run?"
Yes. Yes, she did.
"Stop glaring at me like I told your grandmother about your porn collection."
"Rodney, how could you not tell us you got shot?!"
"Again, keep your voice down, drama queen."
"This is a life threatening injury! The bullet's still there!"
"You have nothing to complain about until you have to carry me."
"I practically am carrying you!"
"I'm leaning slightly on you, you big baby!"
"Define slightly."
"Shut up, I'm concentrating. Walking downhill is hard."
"And I swear, after you run away from the infirmary, I am not hauling you back to your quarters from the lab again."
"Oh come on, this was one time!"
"One time this month, ty nevděčný hajzle!"
"Watch it, you might just find yourself fixing an old Kavanagh project."
"Too late, you already assigned the last of those. Watch your step here, if you slip I am leaving you in the mud."
"No you won't, then you'd have to manage that ungrateful bunch. And I know just how much you loooove those staff reports, Radek."
"Tohle se nedá vydržet. Já ho nemůžu vystát. Já ho kopnu."
"You do remember I've taken up language lessons, righ?"
While they let their banter flow aimlessly, they exchanged covert glances. There were a few quiet sniggers from behind them and the tension eased just a bit. Rodney discovered early on in their expedition that a moderate dose of lighthearted jibes between people in charge made for a good stress relief and diversion from people's own worry.
Not many people around McKay were aware of his skill at using various masks and their respective personality traits in that manner. With time, he learned when to use his angry outbursts, paranoid fearfulness, even how to boost his hypochondria to a whole new level of ridiculous in order to diffuse tension or divert attention. He was quite a skilled actor, if he wanted to be. Although, the awkward, starved for attention, socially gullible side of him was something he could never quite manage to hide, as much as he tried. All he could do was to take all the emotional baggage and personality traits that came with that and use them to the best of his ability.
It took Radek years to uncover these carefully guarded secrets. And almost as much to learn how to roll with it, how to boost the effect Rodney McKay had on his surroundings. How to manage fallouts. They were a good team, not only in terms of science. It was a mutual deal that emerged naturally - Radek brought the rationality to the table, the pragmatism to offset or emphasize Rodney's special kind of crazy, depending on the situation. In return, he got to be the wiser one. The one people secretly admired for putting up with all that crap. The one they sympathized with. Or at least that's how he felt and that was enough.
What he had with McKay was not perfect, definitely a little twisted, but it worked for them - and for others, after a while.
Right now Radek had difficulty balancing their magical act and his worry. McKay was leaning heavily on him and the few kilometers up and down the not-so-gentle slopes were a grueling journey. The physicist was getting winded from all the talking, whispering a complaint about it hurting to breath in a while ago. What alarmed Radek even more, was the heat that radiated from the physicist. No sanitation could change the fact, that a bullet left in a wound was nothing more than an infection pill. Rodney's eyes were already glazing and when his movement became sluggish not much after their little banter, Zelenka was painfully reminded of another important matter.
"Rodney," he muttered so that no one else could hear.
"Mm?"
"When was the last time you ate something?"
"Um… supper?"
"What."
"Jesus, how many times do I have to tell you to keep your voice down!"
"Are you insane, man? Do you not remember what happened in Siberia? Můj bože, Rodney!"
"I'll eat the the vest's MRE when we get to the shelter."
It didn't escape Radek's attention that Rodney couldn't name the MRE as the dead soldier's.
Again, thank you, Fai's smile, for your help with the translation!
ty nevděčný hajzle - you ungrateful bastard
Tohle se nedá vydržet. Já ho nemůžu vystát. Já ho kopnu. - I won't stand this. I won't stand this and I'm gonna kick him.
Můj bože - My god
Also, I just rewatched a few episodes from the first series and I appear to have forgotten that Zelenka and McKay dodn't know each other before the expedition. So I now realize that this chapter is a bit inconsistent with canon.