"Doctor Boivin, welcome on Atlantis."
"Pleasure to be here, Doctor Weir. I waited to join the expedition ever since Dedalus started coursing here."
"Glad to give you the chance, then. Doctor McKay was supposed to be here to welcome you as well but his team caught a little snag on their offworld mission. I'm sure he'll be back in the labs by the time you get through orientation. If not, Doctor Zelenka will guide you."
"Oh, um… okay, thank you, Ma'am."
Matisse followed an airman to his new quarters, wondering about a division head going on offworld missions, but paying it no thought beyond initial surprise. He was shown around the common areas, went through security training, medical training, medical checkups, ate a late lunch in the mess hall and finally found his way to the labs.
It was Doctor Zelenka that welcomed him there and got him through all the introductions to people and his future duties. The Czech seemed nice, even if a bit frustrated and tense. Matisse didn't know why - the personnel seemed focused and efficient, the city didn't seem to be in a state of crysis, everything looked to be in order.
He was in the process of setting up his workstation when a speaker cracked in the lab and a voice Matisse could vaguely recall as a technician from the Control Room sounded, from the speakers:
"Doctor Zelenka, hurricane McKay heading straight at you."
"Konečně," Doctor Zelenka muttered, raising his hand do an earpiece he was wearing. "Carson?"
He listened for a second and seemed to relax instantly.
"Doctor Beckett gives all clear," he announced to the room in general.
The atmosphere in the area shifted. Matisse watched the scientists, as they casually moved away from the central workbench, clearing it of papers and computers. One flipping a coffee machine on on the way, another calmly unwrapping a sandwich and putting it on a plate, just to place it on the far end of the table. It looked like a synchronized dance, practiced over and over.
Half a minute later a man in what Boivin knew now to be full offworld gear stormed into the lab, carrying what looked like a dragon egg made of metal. Not sparing any of them a glance, he deposited it carefully on the central table and proceeded to reach into his backpack for a laptop and a scanner. He slid the latter across the table, where Doctor Zelenka was ready to plug it into his own computer.
"I have more important things to do, you know," Zelenka grumbled, although the calm expression on his face contradicted the offended tone. McKay didn't seem to notice, as he carelessly discarded the backpack, tac vest and jacket of his BDU on a nearby chair.
"Sucks to be you, then," he snarked, bending over the egg.
"Yes. Yes it does."
A few minutes passed during which Matisse wondered if he should approach his new boss or wait to be noticed. He chose the latter. Rodney McKay didn't look like a person you wanted to interrupt. In the meantime, a pretty girl with curly hair (Esposito, was it?) snagged the discarded gear and moved it closer to the door. Without noticing, the CSO moved around the station, only to catch the sight of the sandwich.
"Whose is this? Nevermind, it's mine now," he called and snagged the food, shoving it in his mouth. He continued on the previous trajectory, only to stop again, glaring daggers at a middle-aged blonde, typing away on her computer.
"Jesus Christ, Simpson, I feel like a broken record here," he bristled, shoving her hands away from the keyboard. Matisse was appalled at the rude gesture but the woman didn't seem to care all that much. "input your goddamn variables after injecting the extrapolator. How can I make it sound easy enough for your tiny brain to grasp? Variables before... Boom." He made an explosion motion with his hands, a piece of lettuce falling from the half-eaten sandwich in his right palm.
"I've had just about enough of you for today. And I'm not even half an hour in. Go be stupid somewhere else, and don't show your face today. You're even more useless than normal," he barked out, giving the woman, Doctor Simpson, a death glare, before turning back and joining Doctor Zelenka to stare at his laptop. The woman pushed a few more keys on her own device, closed it and scrambled for the door.
Matisse stared.
Why is she smiling?
Just a moment after Simpson left the lab, Doctor McKay raised his head again, surveyed the people remaining and added in a withering tone:
"Hewston, Esposito, go with her, make sure the moron doesn't twist her ankle or something."
"Yes, Sir!" they both answered with hidden smiles of their own and left in a hurry.
Just what in the hell is going on here?!
Nobody left in the office paid any mind to the staggering abuse the CSO was unleashing on their colleagues and Matisse felt sick to the stomach. Was mobbing not recognized in Pegasus Galaxy? Who allowed this psycho to even be here?!
"Hey, you the new guy?"
He froze. Maybe Dedalus was still in orbit, maybe it wasn't too late to…
"Hey, talking to you here!"
"Oh, um… yes, doctor Matisse Boivin."
"Yes, yes. Since I'm in a good mood, your assignment for tomorrow is to sift through this preliminary I just sent you and figure this baby out," he pointed at the egg with his chin. "Radek, take him with you, give me some breathing space. Sheppard was unbearable today."
Doctor Zelenka smiled and nodded, getting up. He motioned for Matisse to follow him.
"Rodney," he threw over his shoulder. "You will join us later, yes? I will come get you in, say, two hours?"
"Mhm," McKay hummed, not raising his head, engrossed with what he was reading.
Boivin and Zelenka left the lab, clearly going in the direction of the mess hall.
"Doctor Zelenka…"
"Ah, yes, no one probably let you know," the Czech interrupted him. "Doctor Simpson is having a birthday party in half an hour. Would you care to join us? She would be very glad, the more the merrier."
"Uh… yes?"
"Wonderful. Please remember to compliment her on whatever gift she shows off. She has been bragging about the present from her nieces arriving on Dedelus today. She could not wait to get it."
Matisse nodded, deep in thought. As he thought about this, comparing what he's seen so far with the praise the Atlantis Science Department was receiving on teamwork and driven approach to problem-solving, a thought popped into his head.
"Wait… was this… bizarre display earlier Doctor McKay's convoluted way of giving Doctor Simpson and her girlfriends the rest of the day off?"
"Aah, I see you are already catching on. Good, good, you will fit right in. And Rodney seems to like you, he gave you a fresh piece of tech to work on. But please,"he added, his face going serious, "do not, under any circumstances, let the junior staff and military in on this. McKay's reputation is one of the only things giving us space to work in peace."
"Should I assume then that the rumors that circle around SGC about Doctor McKay being an asshole are not true?"
"I would not go that far."