My wife is crazy
.
.
.
Ichigo Kurosaki sighed deeply, trying to let go of all today's stress by doing so. Even though he was making remarkable progress with his division, it seemed as if paperwork would just keep piling up every hour. Sometimes he'd have nightmares where he saw himself dying, not during battle, but rather struggling for air under an immense mountain of paperwork. Yep, that's how much he despised it.
So his way of relaxing after that kind of day was simply lying in the grass, Rukia by his side drawing gentle patterns on his arms as they watched the dark sky, the moon and the stars hanging up above them.
Suddenly his mind clicked, and he remembered that tonight was a special night. He blinked and a delicate smile drew itself on his face. He brought his mouth closer to Rukia's ear and whispered "Happy anniversary."
Rukia didn't move at first. Ichigo was about to repeat his words when the woman on his chest lifted herself up on her elbows and shot him a weird look. "We're April 10th."
Ichigo didn't move an inch. "Yeah. It's our 5th year anniversary." Rukia squinted her eyes. "Of when we started dating," Ichigo added, his tone becoming slightly more impatient.
Rukia suddenly changed position again, this time moving sharply to go into a sitting position, her hands pressing on the ground on both sides of her body. "Are you serious? We started dating on May 3rd Ichigo! That's when people found out about us, thus made it official!"
It was Ichigo's turn to squint his eyes and narrow his eyebrows. "What?! No it's not, Rukia! Byakuya caught us kissing on APRIL 10TH, then went to see my sisters and my dad to tell them to say their goodbyes since he was going to kill me, then my dad told everyone we were together."
Rukia huffed in a frustrated way, her eyes now widened in annoyance. "Yeah and that happened ON MAY 3rd!" she yelled at him.
Ichigo sat up straight in a 90 degree angle, almost nose to nose with his wife. "Jesus Christ, Rukia! How do you even know you're right and I'm not? We never celebrate that stuff, so why would you remember the date while I wouldn't?!"
Rukia rolled her eyes and threw her hands in the air. "Well, maybe because I," she emphasized the last word, "do not have the memory of a clown fish!"
Ichigo's mouth slightly dropped as he widened his eyes. "CLOWN FISH MY ASS! YOU HAVE THE LONG TERM MEMORY OF A RABBIT-"
Rukia got on her feet in the blink of an eye and pointed a mad finger at her husband. "HEY, do not bring Chappy into this, you imbecile!"
Ichigo groaned and rolled his eyes, annoyance and frustration taking over him by the second.
That's when Rukia started stomping away from Ichigo. The man got up and quickly shook the dirt off his uniform. "Rukia, where are you going now?!" he screamed as he began to follow her out of the meadow.
"To our barracks!" she screamed back. "There's the picture Yuzu took of us together that day that your dad told everyone about us, and there's a date written on it! So I'm gonna show you, and you'll see how I, Rukia Kuchiki, am never wrong!"
"Well, your technical name is Rukia Kuchiki Kurosaki, so I guess you're already wrong about that," Ichigo muttered under his breath, thinking about how Rukia had insisted on keeping her first family name after their wedding. You know, Kuchikis and their pride…
Unluckily -or luckily, Ichigo decided- for him, Rukia was too busy walking angrily in front of him to even hear the words her husband had just spoken.
As they were getting closer to the barracks, Ichigo noticed a certain red-haired baboon standing in the way, his hands in his pockets.
"Yo, guys. I was about to go get some drinks, do you guys wanna-" he stopped suddenly as Rukia stormed passed him, almost knocking him out of her way in the process.
"For fuck's sake," Renji muttered as he subtly rubbed his elbow. He then turned to face Ichigo. "What did you do this time, you moron?"
Ichigo scowled. "Wha-?! What makes you think I'm the one to blame here?!"
Renji was about to scoff when Ichigo noticed Rukia almost getting out of his sight. "Rukia, wait!" he yelled and started running to catch up with her.
Renji blinked as he stared at their retrieving figures, a deep frown taking place on his face. "Che, what great friends do I have."
.
"Rukia, god this isn't the end of the world, you don't have to run away from me like the plague." Ichigo said as he entered his and Rukia's Barracks, seeing her already opening a wooden box that was hidden in a drawer in their small living room. She casually ignored him and blew on the box to clear up some dust that had accumulated on top. Ichigo let out something between a grunt and a sigh as he walked to Rukia and sat down next to her on the floor.
She opened it right away and started digging into the pile of photos. Yuzu had given them this box of memories so they would always have a side of Karakura town if ever they wouldn't be able to come visit for a long time. Ichigo thought it was rather sweet, but god, she took way too many pictures.
"Ah-hah! Found it!" Rukia yelled in victory. The image showed the two of them standing next to each other, and Ichigo noticed he did look a bit younger back then, while Rukia looked exactly the same as she did today. He was blushing furiously and had his palm facing the camera, sadly, not close enough to the lens to actually hide their faces. And Rukia just seemed, well, clueless about what was happening.
Just before his wife was about to turn the photo around to see the date, Ichigo spoke, "Wait."
Rukia stopped her movement and turned to look at him, a questioning look on her face.
Ichigo started grinning. "How about we make a deal out of this?" he asked. Rukia blinked in response, then slightly frowned. "If it really is May 3rd," Ichigo continued, new assurance gradually taking over his facial features, "I do whatever you want me to do. But if it's April 10th, you do what I want you to do." He had a full on smirk at this point.
Rukia kept her steady frown, her eyes not leaving him even for half a second. "And what it is you want from me, if ever you're right?" she asked him, slightly suspicious. "Not that you will be, though."
Ichigo's mouth opened to reveal a mischievous teeth-showing grin. "I want you to wear that little black lacy outfit Matsumoto gave you that you never dared putting on for me."
Rukia slightly backed off, her eyes widening and her cheeks immediately turning a light shade of red. "What?!" she yelled at him. "I promised myself I would never wear such a ridiculous outfit, not even for you!"
Ichigo rolled his eyes and shook his head at his wife. How could she still be shy like this after five years? "I am pretty positive you would not look ridiculous in it."
Rukia blushed harder and averted eye contact for a second, a hard expression on her face. "Well, forget it! I'm not doing that!"
Ichigo smiled in the corner of his mouth. "If you're so sure you're right, why are you even thinking you'll have to do it?" Rukia stared at him, then huffed. "I guess you're not so confident about your argument, after all…" Ichigo added.
"Che, of course I am!" replied Rukia, "Alright, I'm in, but when you see that I was right, you'll be incredibly sorry mister, cause I'm making you admit in front of your whole squad that your wife is always right!" The petite woman crossed her arms under her chest proudly, a small smile on her face.
Ichigo gulped. Shit. She would make him embarrass himself in front of his squad?! That was a cheap shot…
But he couldn't lose face right now. He just couldn't. Plus, it was his idea to add the deal.
Damn, he just hoped he was right about their anniversary date.
Ichigo frowned slightly and cleared his throat. "Uhh…okay. Deal."
Both of them shook hands, sealing their new agreement. Rukia, with a new confident smile, picked up the photo, and slowly turned it around…
…04/10
April 10th. Oh, my god.
Rukia's smile fell in a second, just as Ichigo's eyebrows raised up on his forehead and his mouth opened in victory. "YESSSSS! I WAS RIGHT! AND YOU, WERE NOT! HEHEHEHE!"
Rukia's eyes remained stuck on the picture, as if she didn't want to believe what her eyes had just witnessed, and her mind, registered. Ichigo got on his feet to celebrate. He just wasn't used to winning with Rukia; this was a moment to remember!
"So," he spoke once he was done jumping around like a child, a huge smile on his face, "I guess you owe me now, huh?"
Rukia suddenly seemed to come back to reality as she deeply scowled and got up, her hands curled up in fists. "Shut up, you pervert! No way in hell I'm doing that!"
Ichigo let out a proud and playful laugh. "Oh, but you have to, baby. You wouldn't want to break your Kuchiki honor now would you?"
Rukia angrily fumed in place. "I didn't promise anything! It was just a stupid deal anyway!" she said as she turned her back to her husband and began walking out of the room. "I knew what I was doing, I just wanted to give you a chance for once!"
Ichigo's smile completely fell as he understood she really wouldn't let him get away with this one. Did he really dare think for one second he'd actually win against her?
"What?! Rukia, come on, we shook on it…Rukia?!"
.
.
.
Definitely crazy.
.