A/N - I am so sorry! I hit major writers block for this story and then got really into writing Fault instead. Rest assured, I will finish this story and I'll post the chapters as soon as I write them!

Trapped: Splinter

I'm vaguely aware of Raphael talking to me as he struggles against the restraints binding him, but I can feel myself drifting into unconscious no matter how hard I resist. Raphael must escape. He cannot try to help me, I will only slow him down. My right hand is trapped and my left has been rendered useless from the bullet. The truck we are in swerves sharply to the left bouncing me around in the process and adding further agony to my injured shoulder. I can barely keep my eyes open, but I try to focus on Raphael. His shock seems to be wearing off and he is desperately fighting the restraints. Fighting for his freedom.

I do not blame Raphael for not following me out of danger, it is part of who he is. He's a protector and a warrior, and I can't help but fear I've done him a disservice. He needed understanding and patience from me, but over time it ran out. I vividly remember when he was younger. Bright amber eyes brimmed with fear and sorrow after he lost his temper and struck Michelangelo at 8 years old. He was afraid of his temper, and I comforted him as much as I could. I promised I would help him, I promised he could tell me anything that he didn't want even his brother's to know. It was clear even then he was beginning to hide behind anger and carefully constructed walls. It was my duty to help him express himself and for a time I worked hard with him to overcome his anger and fears. As time wore on, progress stalled as he hid himself from me. He would not show weakness even to his father. Our relationship changed, and I can only blame myself as it was I who stopped reaching out. I can blame it on the stress of our lives, or raising four children alone but I know they are only excuses. The argument that led us both here tonight is proof enough of my failure.

I hadn't realised quite how much I had grown accustomed to the roles my sons take until Donatello and Michelangelo quietly agreed with Raphael after he had left. Neither had intervened during the argument but I could sense their frustration. I called them out on it. Quietly they then shared their support for Raphael, much to Leonardo's anger and my own confusion. Dark spots dance at the edge of my vision, as the fire in my shoulder continues to burn but my thoughts continue to wander in the past. Leonardo was such an easy child, I could understand him and his needs but the rest of my sons were a challenge in different ways. That never changed my love for them all, but now I wonder if it changed my treatment of them.

I fear Raphael will have to escape without me, I only hope he doesn't blame himself for this. It was my actions that drove him from the lair tonight. It was my duty as his Father to protect him from Hun. The pain continues to throb desperately as I can feel my own blood continue to soak me. I can do nothing to help us now, already I am too weak.

"Father" called Raphael pulling me back from the edge of oblivion. A small part of my mind registers he has freed himself. Now he's beside me and unsure how he can help me. The uncertainty and fear shines as brightly in his amber eyes as it did all those years ago. I hate to let him down, I cannot stand the thought of leaving him in his turmoil. Desperately I hope he never questioned my love for him.

I need to tell him to go. He must escape. I must tell him I'm sorry and this isn't his fault. I want to see the rest of my sons, they all need to know I'm sorry. My last conscious thought is regret for causing this and a deep longing to ease the heartbreak in my sons eyes as the darkness finally claims me.