A/N - Getting near the end! Thanks to everyone who is still reading and reviewing!

Frozen: Raphael

Why don't my plans ever work?

I apologised to Splinter; promised to do better. I basically promised to be a good little soldier to him and Leo. But it didn't help!

I figured if he didn't accept my apology, I'd leave and not come back. I understand why he wouldn't want me around him or the others. I create danger and I know he wouldn't risk anyone else getting hurt. Even leaving didn't go like I planned.

He's still holding my wrist and I can see the efforts hurting him. Why not let go already? We both know this ends with my dismissal. It's the only way it can end.

"Sit down, please" he almost begs, and I silently move back to the couch. I ain't looking at him though. He probably just wants to make it official I'm leaving the clan or something.

"My son, I'm so sorry" he starts, and I think he genuinely is a bit sad. Still, I brace myself for what's coming next.

"Why would you think I would disown you? The fault is mine, not yours"

At that I freeze. He's not getting rid of me?

"So I can stay?" I ask, and hate how childish the question seems. Part of me needs to know, and I finally raise my eyes to look at him. He looks worn out and in pain. I wasn't expecting to see tears in his eyes either; his shoulder must be really hurting him and the guilt kicks in again.

"Raphael, I will never abandon you. I will not allow you to leave" chokes out Splinter, and it hits me that he's not lying. He never does.

Wait. Does that mean he's upset because he thought I was going to leave? Now I feel like a real shell-head. I can almost hear Mike telling me how clueless I am.

"Don't change yourself Raphael. Your passion and stubbornness are part of who you are. You may need to learn control, but that comes with time and you are still so young. I am sorry. You doubt yourself and your place in our family. That is my fault. You needed different things from me than your brother's did, and I clearly did not give them to you. Please, let me help you now. I am asking for another chance" finished Splinter, tears still shining in his eyes as he looked at me in despair.

How the shell am I supposed to respond to that? He's basically said he screwed up as my Dad, and a week ago I probably wanted him to say that. But it's not given me any satisfaction to hear it now. I actually feel worse. He's a great Father...I just didn't appreciate it before.

"I screwed up to" I answer, determined to take my share of the blame

"It is clear things must change. We will talk, and then we will speak to your brother's" decides Splinter, sinking back into the chair

This time I will talk to him. I'll do my best to not shut him out, but there still something I need to get off my shell.

"I didn't mean it ya know? When I said I didn't need you. As soon as I said it I realised it wasn't true" I confess, desperate to be forgiven for my stupidity.

"I know you didn't mean it, Raphael" he replies with a small smile, and I can't help but notice he seems to relax a little more. I guess no parent wants to hear that from their kid.

"So where do we start?" I ask, feeling a bit unsure. Ok, we are gonna talk but I don't know how to get the ball rolling.

"Start with yourself, Raphael. How do you feel? What is it that makes you angry?"

This feels uncomfortable since it's not the kind of stuff I usually talk about, but I know I should tell him. It's just hard.

"If I tell you, you've gotta be straight with me too?"

I don't want to pour my heart out to get nothing out of him. I wanna know what he's thinking too!

"Deal"

That's all the answer I need.