A/N: Today is exactly 2 years from when I put up the first chapter of this (1st of March 2016). And I've been quite a lousy updater, so I'd like to thank everyone following and reviewing this. I don't even know how you've managed to stay patient through two whole years and still bother about this story.
That aside, this chapter is considerably lengthier, so I hope you like it!

I don't exactly understand how I got here.

Haruhi is kissing me, her lips hot against mine, with her hands roaming the back of my neck now. I'd be an idiot to not kiss her back, so I return the favour, my hands cautiously looping around her waist and pressing her slightly harder against the wall. It feels oddly calming yet fiery at the same time – something I didn't imagine kissing Haruhi to be like. I half expect her to push me off, or to pull away and slap me, but it doesn't seem like that'll happen.

Like I said, I don't understand how I got here. But I'm possibly the luckiest person in the world right now, and nothing could change that.

Or maybe I was wrong. Before I know it, I feel a pressure on my chest and I can feel her hands trying to back me off. I break away, respecting her decision, and look down at her, silently asking her what the hell we just did. Not that I'm complaining.

Her cheeks are flushed, lips slightly swollen and her body is warm beneath my palms. I let go of her, thinking I may have crossed a boundary, and to my surprise (not really) she gets the trademark Haruhi scowl on her face.

"Well?"
"Well what?" I ask back, not really fazed by her reaction.
"What was that?"
"What was what?" I clearly know what she's talking about, but pushing her buttons right now seems appealing – if it means she finally tells me what she really wants. Plus, she clearly initiated what happened back there, and I'd like her to acknowledge it, even if I know she won't.
"Don't act dumb. You know what I'm talking about."
"Well, we just kissed."
"Yes, I know that, baka."
"Then what are you asking me?"
"Jesus, you are actually dumb." She says as she sidesteps me and begins walking towards the entrance of the alley, back the way we came.
"Wait, where're you going?" I ask, clearly taken aback by her sudden change in behaviour.
"Home. We have our exams, you know." She proceeds to walk out completely, turning the way we entered, and she's soon out of my sight.

I know something's wrong the moment she says those words. Because Haruhi Suzumiya never studies for an exam. Never, not even her goddamn finals. And that was probably the Haruhi mood swing of the century. So I know I've probably said something wrong, and I run out after her.

She's reached quite ahead – no surprise there; she walks fast – and I briskly make my way over to her, feeling a little out of breathe.
"Haruhi, I'm sorry about whatever I did wrong."
She turns around, Haruhi Scowl plastered on her face, and simply replies.
"You didn't do anything, Kyon." She resumes walking. Knowing her, I know I won't get a talk out of her right now, so I offer to walk her back home.

"I can walk home myself. I don't need your help. And your house is in the opposite direction. So you shouldn't waste your time." She says without as much as glancing back.

Who the hell is this person? In the three years I've known her, she has never, ever taken the fact that I live opposite to her into consideration. She's asked me to carry countless boxes of useless Brigade stuff to her house without even asking me, and yet, here she is, telling me to go home.

I don't really want to leave her alone – that'd just be straight out rude – so I continue walking behind her, keeping a respectable distance and managing to not look like a stalker. She probably knows I'm there, but doesn't say anything, and continues walking. I stop right before the turn to her house, now that I know she's home, and I turn to walk back to my house.

As I'm waiting for the train to pass by at our usual spot, I finally realize what I did wrong. Putting it frankly: I was an asshole. I was probably pushing her buttons too hard – and she was already mad at me for some reason – so I probably made it worse. I also know I'm not entirely to blame – she's also being vague about herself, but then I remember her take on romance and relationships. She found love, and everything related to it to be a mental illness, for God's sake. Of course she'd be so subdued and reserved about it.

I know I was overstepping there, but at the same time, I don't want her to be uncomfortable with me. She shouldn't have to feel so timid and alien if she wants us to be together. I chuckle sarcastically. I never imagined I'd be having such thoughts, and dealing with such a thing, but I don't mind it when it comes to Haruhi. Junior year Kyon can suck it, even if his sarcasm was slightly better.

I'm just about to reach home, when my phone buzzes repeatedly in my pocket, and for a second I think it's Haruhi, when I recall that she wouldn't willingly call me at this time. A look at the screen tells me it's Koizumi, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't surprised.

I pick up, and for once, I can't hear the idiotic grin in his voice. He's tense, and a little worked up.
"Kyon, what the hell just happened?"
"What?" Is he spying on me?
"Did something happen between you and Haruhi?"
"Where the hell are you getting that from?"
"There is a closed space, Kyon. A decently sized closed space – and this is the first closed space we'd had in almost 8 months!"
"Oh." Shit.
"So what did you do?"
"Why do you assume it's something I did?"
"It mostly is something or the other you said to Suzumiya-san, consciously or subconsciously."
"Well, do you need help battling this closed space?"
"I think the organization can handle this one, and it doesn't seem like you'll be needed in this one. But the next one will definitely be big and one that'll involve you."
"Quite sure, aren't you?"
"Judging Suzumiya-san's current state and her-"
"Alright, I get it. I'll try resolving whatever happened." I cut him off before he launches into a crazy explanation
"Arigato." The call ends.

I let out a frustrated sigh as I enter my home, announcing my return so that my sister knows I'm home. Upon hearing her reply, I make my way up to my room and flop on the bed face first. I know I can't fix anything I did today, but I can still try for tomorrow. I know I'm supposed to be studying – heck, I have Physics, English and Chemistry on Wednesday – but I'll probably manage to get good grades even after one day of studying. I did study beforehand, so that is the last of my concerns right now.

I debate calling her right now, but then again, she might want to keep her space. I write her a message instead, apologizing and asking to meet up tomorrow again, but I decide against sending it. I'll approach her straight tomorrow, and I'll talk to her – just letting her know my side if she doesn't want to talk about hers. One thing I've learnt over the years is that you can't push Haruhi to talk about her emotions – things she finds childish – and giving her space is for the best, as long as I manage to apologize for the dick I've been.

It's still relatively early in the day – just past afternoon, honestly – and I spend the rest of the day studying, Haruhi always in the back of my mind.

I wake up to my alarm blaring yet again and get out of bed, repeating my previous morning, the exception being my sister leaving for her school. I shower and quickly make my way across town to Haruhi's house. It's around 11 right now – not too early, but not too late either. Taking a deep breath, I knock on her door.

I her some shuffling and I know she's seen me through her intercom's camera. I briefly consider the fact that she may not even open the door for me. She unlocks it however, standing in all her scowling glory in the doorway, and her parents aren't around – probably overseas again. She raises an eyebrow questioningly at me, and I compose a blank face before I begin.

"Haruhi, I'm sorry for what happened yesterday. I was being an idiot and not honestly telling you what happened. I just want to explain."
She opens the door wider, allowing me in, and I quickly follow her to the living room, choosing to stand near the sofa.

"Well, we, um, kissed, yesterday, and after that, you asked me what we did. And I was trying to get a reply out of you, instead of helping you make sense of what had happened, and that was wrong of me. And I was also really out of line for bothering you too much about what happened earlier."

There's a deafening silence in the room for a while, the constant whirring of the air conditioner the only noise in the room, before I realize that she probably isn't going to reply.

Now, let's make one thing clear: I do not like talking about feelings or love or romance or anything - I'm a pretty chill guy when it comes to all of that, but I still find it out of place and character for me to say anything like what I'm about to say next.

"Well, about what happened yesterday…I…liked it."

At that, she looks up, the scowl on her face evidently gone, and I hold eye contact with her for a while, deciding who's going to speak what next.

"Me too." She says softly.
Just when I'm about to breathe a sigh of relief, she speaks up.
"But why the heck were you so hell bent on playing stupid and not answering my questions?"
It hits me then: the actual problem was that I didn't do anything – she even said that, dammit. I know she's someone who will never confront her feelings for anyone, solely out of her belief, and she needs to know that it's completely fine to feel such things.

"I wanted you to be honest with yourself." At that, she flares up again. I don't blame her; I sound like a counsellor – and she's probably thinking I'm taking her for a stupid person.
"Look at this, Kyon. This is such a dramatic mess. This is the kind of thing six-year olds entertain themselves with. No wonder these people are delusional." She says sharply.

I'm taken aback by her outburst – she's a very hard person to figure out mentally. I could just thank her and leave right now, but that won't get us anywhere. We both have been avoiding things like this for so long – Haruhi because, well, so many reasons and I, because I'm trying to make sense of everything. Then I realize that if she's going to be stubborn about it, I have to let her know it's normal. And yet, normal is the farthest thing from what she wants.

"This is only dramatic because it's being dragged too far." I reply, trying to reason with her.
"And that isn't exactly my fault." Well, it's actually equally your fault as much as mine, Haruhi, but alright.
"Okay, drama aside, I like you and I'd like to be in a relationship with you. Happy?" My own words shock me, but at this point, I'm willing to go to any lengths if it means sorting this out.

Her face is blank now – it's better than my blank face, what the heck – and she just averts her eyes and says, "Liking someone is stupid. It's fourth grader stuff."
"No, Haruhi, it's not. And the sooner you realize that, the faster this 'drama' goes away." I've actually confessed to her – holy crap – and yet still I'm finding it hard to get through. What is her real deal? I've let her know that I was wrong, I've told her why I was an ass and I've told her what I want. The only problem could be that she in fact, does not feel the same for me, and what happened yesterday was just a fluke.

As I realize that none of us are going to speak up about it, I just bid her bye and take my leave. She is right, this is too much drama, but I'm not going to bother her so much. Whatever I'll do, I'll do after my exams now.

A/N: It might appear as OOC, but I'm trying to show exactly how out of place these two idiots are when it comes to stuff like this. If you don't like the direction this is going in feel free to let me know. I'm open to all kinds of suggestions. And if anyone would like to proofread (or beta, if it's called that) the next chapter, please let me know. It'd be a great help. Thank you so much for reading, and please review :D.