In an instant Tony's life had fallen apart. He had no idea how he was supposed to move forward without his baby girl. He knew Gibbs and a few other people who had lost children. He always wondered how they lived. He wondered how he was supposed to live. How did you move past losing a child? Tali had only been gone a few hours and he was barely hanging on. How was he supposed live the rest of his life like this? He had no idea how he was supposed to live. How could he ever move forward?
Gibbs kept close vigil over Tony. Watching every movement, afraid that if he looked away even for an instant something terrible would happen and Tony would shatter. He worried for his boy. He had lost his baby girl and it had destroyed him. It was years before he came even close to recovery. He was still in hell. The worst thing about knowing the pain of losing a child. Was knowing what the newly bereaved parent would endure. He knew Tony would have more days than not where he did not even want to get out of bed. Now even all these years later, decades later in fact. He still had more like that than not. The worst was yet to come for Tony. All Gibbs could do was pray that his boy was strong enough.
McGee stepped into the nursery. The twins were actually asleep for the first time in over twenty four hours. On any other day he would be tip toeing around quieter than he was at riskiest of stake outs or most hair raising of scenes. Not fearing waking the babies but rather fearing being murdered by Delilah for waking the babies. Today was different. Today Delilah didn't shoot him a death glare for as much as putting his hand on the door handle. She just rolled herself back to bed after a trip to the bathroom. Gibbs had called early in the morning to inform them that Tali was dead. McGee only wanted to be with his children. He could not imagine waking up to a world where one of his children was gone.
Abby and Bishop had spent the night together. Neither party wanted to go home alone. They had left the hospital at the end of visiting hours. When they left things were not looking good and neither was surprised when they got the call. Neither party had any idea how to react or what to say. They were both career woman with no real aspirations of motherhood. Most days it was just their life. Days like today it brought a degree of guilt. It was hard to be happy without a family. When somebody close was mourning for their own.
Ducky listened to Jethro rant. He just kept going on and on about how worried he was for Tony. The doctor wished that he knew what to say. Jethro had endured the loss of a child but even he was helpless. What was anybody else supposed to do or say? Was their even an appropriate reaction?
Jimmy regretted going home. He regretted leaving Tony but Gibbs had insisted. The guilt was strong and strange. He hated himself for leaving Tony when his friend needed him most but he also hated himself for feeling guilty. Gibbs had sent him home to be with his family. He was with his family but wanting to be with Tony. While Tony could care less if he saw any of them again. All Tony wanted was to have his family back.
"You should go back to the hospital. Tori was up late. She won't be awake for a while. Just go be with Tony." Breena insisted.
"Gibbs said not to. Besides Tony should be home by now. With Gibbs actually. Gibbs said Tony would have company when he was ready. Until then just lay low." Jimmy explained.
Tony stumbled through Gibbs' front door. The ride home had been painful. Gibbs did not say a word but kept looking over and reaching out for him. Not that any words would have meant anything. At least Gibbs understood that. The rest of the world wouldn't. Tony was dreading the coming days. Making arrangements and attending services. The constant sympathy. Hearing "Call anytime" or whatever variation the person could string out. When he did call they would either go to voicemail or the person would have an excuse. Tony had been on the other side a couple of times. He knew how it was.
"What now?" Tony asked.
"Go try and get some sleep. Keep the door open. I will check in every hour. I won't wake you unless I think you did something stupid." Gibbs explained.
"You aren't going to ask if I need to talk?" Tony questioned.
"Do you need to talk?" Gibbs asked.
"No" Tony lied.
"I will be up later." Gibbs replied.
Tony stared up at the ceiling in Gibbs' guest room. So this was losing a child? He was utterly miserable and there was no relief in sight. Gibbs had lost Kelly and he was still miserable all the time. Not exactly a promising outlook for Tony's situation. He closed his eyes and tried to sleep. All he could see was Tali in her final hours. How had he not noticed sooner? Could he have done anything if he had?
It was afternoon and Tori was still sleeping. Breena had rushed off to help her father with something. Leaving Jimmy alone with Tori. The past day had been a walk through hell and Jimmy had lost any sense of time. Until Breena returned around three.
"Is Tori napping or playing?" Breena asked.
"She hasn't woken up yet." Jimmy replied.
"She hasn't?" Breena replied.
"It's still early. You said to let her sleep. I was going to get her up when you got back." Jimmy explained.
"Jimmy it's three o'clock." Breena said.
Jimmy and Breena ran upstairs and flung Tori's door open. She was lying on the bed just the same as she had when Jimmy checked before Breena left. He raced over to her side trying to rationalize. Maybe she was just tied. She was breathing but barely. She was burning up.
"Call 911! Tell them she was exposed to bacterial meningitis!" Jimmy insisted.
A/N: Is Tori infected too? New chapter will be up soon. Thanks for reading and please review.