Dean slowly walked downstairs about a half an hour later. He'd taken a shower and gotten dressed, all the while trying to prepare to see his brother. He'd never, ever been nervous about seeing Sam before, but he seriously was now. He wasn't sure how it was going to go. Sam might hate him. Why wouldn't he? He was blind because Dean wasn't there to protect him.
Yes, Dean managed to accept the truth as he got ready. What choice did he have? He wanted to believe the Trickster was lying, but what point was there for him to. Sam was here now. If the Trickster was lying, Dean would know it the moment he saw his brother.
The truth is, Dean knew the whole time deep down that it was true. Cas wouldn't have lied about his brother being blind. That was why he got so drunk last night. Despite his denial, he did know it was true and he couldn't accept it. He still didn't want to, but he didn't really have a choice, and grudgingly, he would admit that the Trickster, or archangel, had a point. What right did he have to live in denial when he wasn't the one this was happening to?
As Dean slowly approached the living room, he heard Bobby and Sam talking.
"So you're getting used to all this?" Bobby was asking.
"Yeah, I've been learning to compensate for my sight. This thing is like my best friend," Sam said.
Dean turned the corner and saw his brother holding up a long white canes, the type he'd seen blind people use. Well, if any part of Dean wanted to keep denying the truth, he couldn't now. He had definitive proof that his brother was blind. Definitive proof of the damage he'd done to his brother.
Bobby and Gabriel both looked over when they saw Dean enter the room. Gabriel glared at Dean while Bobby looked at him warily, as if worried about how this would go.
"Dean?" Sam asked. He'd heard footsteps in the room indicating that someone came in.
Dan walked further into the room. "Yeah, it's me. How'd you know I was here."
"I heard you come in. I can still feel Gabriel next to me and Bobby can't walk, so it had to be you," Sam said.
"Right," Dean said awkwardly before walking over and taking a seat in one of the chairs next to the couch. "Are you okay?" He knew it was a stupid question. He'd probably punch anyone who asked something so stupid if he was in Sam's position. Of course Sam wasn't okay. He'd been tortured. He was freaking blind. How could he possibly be okay? Somehow though, even knowing the answer already, the question still came out of Dean's mouth. Maybe it was because he truly didn't know how else to start this conversation.
Sam chuckled slightly, though there really wasn't any humor in it. It was mostly forced. "I guess that's the first thing people ask when they find out you're blind. Bobby asked the same thing. "Yeah, I'm okay. Are you? Has there been any activity with the angels?"
"Well, Zachariah sent me to the future not long after you left, though now I'm wondering if that was really the future," Dean said. Sam was already being tortured by those assholes at that point. If he wasn't blinded by then, he certainly would've been soon after. The future Lucifer in Sam's body was definitely not blind, unless Lucifer just wasn't affected by that."
"He's an angel. He could've created his own little fake future for you, which is more likely. It was designed to make you say yes, right?" Gabriel asked.
Dean nodded.
"I'm guessing it became a little too convenient. You found something trying to convince you at every turn," Gabriel said.
Again Dean nodded. Even his future self tried to convince him. It was a bit too neat. Everything supported what the assholes upstairs wanted. "Wait, so is it true that Sam is…?"
"Meant to hold Lucifer. Yeah, it's true. Of course, it's kind of moot now," Gabriel said.
Dean looked over at his brother and saw that he didn't seem surprised that he was Lucifer's vessel. He'd obviously been told.
"Gabriel says Lucifer would be just as impaired as I am sight wise," Sam said.
"Well, we should still be careful just in case," Dean said as he eyed Gabriel distrustfully. He didn't trust anything an archangel had to say. Angels were for the apocalypse, and this one had already proved to be a dick. They couldn't trust him.
Gabriel payed the looks Dean was sending him no mind. He didn't give a damn what Dean thought of him. "Well, you certainly ought to be careful. You're still fair game."
Dean turned back to his brother. "Listen, Sam, I know things ended bad the last time we saw each other."
Sam shifted uncomfortably. He had been trying to put off this part of the discussion, which was partially why he started things off by asking about the apocalypse. "I, um… I think I need something to drink.
"I'll get it," Dean said as he started to get up. He knew his brother was avoiding the conversation, but if he wanted something, he'd get it for him. It was the least he could do.
"He doesn't need you to do it. He's not crippled. Uh, no offense, Singer," Gabriel said. He knew Sam wasn't going to respond well to his brother doing things for him. It would just add to his fears that his brother felt obligated to take care of him if he was already treating him like he was helpless."
Bobby glared at Gabriel, though there was no real heat in it. "I can do things for myself too, Jackass."
Sam took ahold of his cane and stood up, making his way towards where he knew the kitchen was.
Gabriel followed. Sam could get what he needed himself, but he might need some direction in finding things
Dean followed as well. He wasn't leaving Gabriel alone with his brother for a single second. He didn't trust him at all. Yeah, he helped Sam, but Dean was sure he had his own motives. He didn't help Sam selflessly. Dean needed to get him out of here and away from his brother soon.
Sam felt around with his cane and also his hand as he navigated through the kitchen. Thankfully, he knew this house almost perfectly by memory, so it wasn't long before he found the counter. He reached up to find the cabinets. He opened up the first one he felt.
"No, go down two more, Sam," Bobby said as he pushed his chair into the room.
"Dude, just let me do it," Dean said as he walked closer to his brother.
"I don't need you to take care of me," Sam said forcefully. Not only did he not want Deal to feel obligated to help him, but he didn't want anyone treating him like he couldn't do things for himself. Yes, sometimes he still needed help, like Bobby had given him by helping him find the right cabinet, but he didn't need it done for him. He would get himself a glass of water.
Dean was a little hurt by his brother's reaction, but he supposed he couldn't fault his brother for not wanting his help after how he treated him.
Sam counted two cabinets over and opened it. He felt around until he found and gripped a glass. He then stepped to the side to where the sink should be. He felt around until he found the faucet handle. Then with little difficulty in getting the glass where it needed to be, he poured himself a glass of water.
"You good now?" Gabriel asked as he put a hand on his shoulder.
Dean was seconds from pulling the trickster slash archangel away from his brother. The bastard didn't need to have his hands anywhere near his brother. But Bobby had reached and grabbed his arm and then sent him a small glare to stop him.
Sam nodded after taking a sip of his water. It wasn't just avoidance that made him leave the conversation. He really did need a drink to try to calm down get a little less anxious. It worked a little, but not a lot.
"Can we sit back down and talk, Sam," Dean asked.
"Yeah, okay," Sam said before he began walking a little. He was still kind of anxious though, so he wasn't able to concentrate so well on what he was doing and stumbled as he hit a wall.
Gabriel got to Sam before he fell and steadied him. "Hey, slow down a bit, kiddo. You alright?"
"Yeah, thanks," Sam said. Clearly this conversation with Dean had him really on edge, which wouldn't be so much of a problem if he didn't have to rely on concentration to get to where he needed to.
"Come on, I'm gonna get you to the kitchen table," Gabriel said as he led him over.
Dean glared at the archangel and he couldn't help but be a little upset even at Sam. Dean had tried to help his brother just a few minutes ago, but Sam wouldn't let him. Yet, he seemed to have no problem letting Gabriel, the asshole that they'd once hunted and who had actually killed Dean over and over, to help him. And, yeah, Dean knew that his brother probably wasn't happy with him and that might be why he wasn't accepting his help, but did Sam really hate him so much that the damned Trickster rated better than him?
"There's a chair right next to you," Gabriel said.
Sam felt for it and then sat down. Then he took a sit of his water.
Gabriel sat next to Sam while Dean came over and sat across from him and Bobby pushed his chair up next to Dean.
"Where were we?" Sam asked, though he knew exactly where they'd been.
"Uh, I wanted to say that I'm sorry for the way things ended between us before," Dean said.
Gabriel bit his lip to keep himself from commenting about how he felt about Dean's well timed apology. He did believe Dean was sorry to a point, but he wondered if he would still sorry if Sam hadn't been through the hell he had.
Sam as well questioned the timing. He wasn't sure he believed his brother was really sorry or that he even should be. He believed Dean's anger was justified and that it had not gone away. He was saying this because he felt sorry for him.
"I shouldn't have let you go. I should've been around to protect you," Dean said guiltily.
Sam flinched. His brother's words just added to his fears. Dean was only sorry because of what happened to him. "We… We both thought it was a good idea for me to go."
"Yeah, well, I should've stopped you, like you expected me too," Dean said.
"You didn't want me around," Sam said, unable to keep the hurt from his voice.
"No, Sammy, that's not it. I was just pissed," Dean said.
"You pretty much said you were better off without me. You said you spent too much time worrying about me. You don't want me in your life. That's fine," Sam said. Well, it wasn't fine. It hurt like hell that Dean wanted nothing to do with him, but he understood it. He'd done something unforgivable.
"No! Don't say that! I spent the last month looking for you. Ever since I found out what those dicks did to you!" Dean growled. His anger rose as he thought about what those pieces of garbage did to his brother.
Dean probably didn't realize that he'd just made Sam's point. His brother only wanted to find him after learning what happened to him. It was obligation and pity that made him want him back. "Well, I'm fine, so you can stop worrying and go back to hunting."
"What the hell, man? You think I'm just gonna leave you. You think this is just about making sure you're still alive?" Dean asked in disbelief. He knew he screwed up, but was this really what his brother thought of him?
"No, I think you're determined to take care of me because you think you have to, but you don't. You don't need to take care of me. I'm getting used to this more and more every day. Just go back to your life," Sam said. It killed him to say it because he loved Dean and wanted them to have a relationship again. He'd even been prepared before he came here to go back with Dean if he asked just so he could free Gabriel from the burden, but now that it was actually happening, he just couldn't do it. He couldn't even stomach the idea of being Dean's obligation.
"Stop it! God, this isn't about me taking pity on you! I want you with me, Sam. You should be with me. You certainly shouldn't be with this asshole," Dean said as he directed a glare at Gabriel.
Sam felt anger rise for the first time today. He knew he deserved every bit of anger Dean wanted to throw at him, but Gabriel didn't. "Don't talk about him like that! He saved my life!"
"Sam, you don't need to defend me," Gabriel said, though he couldn't help but be touched that he was. He had no idea that in Sam's eyes, we warranted being defended to Dean.
"Yes, I do. He doesn't have the right to judge you," Sam said firmly.
"I think I do after he killed me so many times," Dean bit out. He was very put out by the fact that his brother trusted this guy and would actually prefer to stay with him than Dean.
Gabriel rolled his eyes. "You didn't feel a thing. You don't even remember it. That was between Sam and me and we've worked through it, so get over it."
"Gabriel saved my life, Dean. He answered my prayers when no one could've blamed him for leaving me to rot. When I refused to go back to you, he made me stay with him rather than sending me out on my own with no knowledge of how to take care of myself in my current state. I'm not gonna let you disrespect him," Sam said firmly.
Dean visibly flinched at his brother's words. Sam had just admitted that he preferred to stay with an archangel they'd both hated than go back to him and now it seemed that Sam had more trust and respect for Gabriel than he did for him. "I…I'm going for a walk."
"Dean," Bobby started when the younger man started to get up.
"No! I need to get out of here for a little bit," Dean said before quickly heading for the door.